I have never had enemies. I have never had anybody out to get me or people who wanted to destroy my reputation. When I saw this happening before my eyes, I couldn't believe it. This was CHURCH! I felt like I had entered the Twilight Zone.
I have never experienced pain and humiliation like this in my life. I was totally helpless and at the mercy of these people who had money and power in the community. These lies about me spread as far away as Lexington. I was "The Sunday School Teacher who tried to lead children to the Devil".
I had no choice but to stop going to church, for the safety and protection of my family. My youngest son didn't understand and it broke my heart one day when he asked "Why don't we go to church anymore?"
My oldest son grew angry. He had been a member of the youth group and had overcome his shyness to be a part of our concert as Ex Nihilo. Now he couldn't meet with his friends at church.
Even with all of the torment and months of fear that my family and I were put through because of what these people did, there was something else that hurt even worse.
When we stopped going to church, it was like we had been forgotten. Nobody visited us. Nobody called or sent a card saying that they were praying for us. With the exception of a few of the teenagers in the youth group, we heard nothing from the members of our church for months. Their silence spoke volumes.
My wife sank into such a deep depression that I was afraid she would take her own life. I watched as my family nearly fell apart. The stress that we went through as a result of all of this nearly destroyed us.
I would drive by the church on Sunday morning and see all of the cars in the parking lot. "How can they do it?" I would ask myself. How can they keep on pretending like nothing is wrong while my family is suffering at home, unable to come back because of what these people have done?
I cried out to God and begged him time and time again to intervene and to make things right, but nothing happened.
I grew angry with God. I mean really ANGRY! I was filled with so much rage at God and at the church for what had happened. I went through the darkest time of my life where I was filled with so much hatred and unforgiveness. Anger was all that I had. It was what kept me going.
I wore black a lot to signify the pain that I was going through inside. I have never known such agony in my life. I felt completely abandoned by God and the church, and it was a horrible, lonely feeling, something I had never experienced before.
Soon, I began to doubt if God was really even there. I stopped talking to him and put away my Bible and my Christian music CDs. I wanted nothing to do with religion, ever again.
I had been a Christian for over 30 years, and this was my reward? No thanks, I told myself. It's over!
