Fear drives me; it drives me from day to day. It is the reason I wake up, it is the reason I sleep. I fear for my future, I fear for my past. I only want to wake up with out this over my head. I dread each day, yet am not strong enough to end it. As I walk through my life I look to others for help, however I have yet to find the one who cares. I need one, just one, to help me with this fear that haunts me. I need someone who is my other half, who understands me with out question, who knows this fear. This fear of loss. I have had nothing in my life, yet I have lost everything. Every time I think I have what I need it is ripped from my heart. When I sleep I see these things, the things I want but know I can never have. When I wake I forget those images to fool myself just so I can go to bed the next night to relive the nightmares again and again. Each day I live a lie. I laugh and smile and act like all is well but I am starting to feel my soul die. I need some hope soon. Again the fear comes back again. Now I fear I will never end this vicious cycle. I will walk alone, afraid forever. Alone and forgotten.HOME
