So, you want to know more about me. You really have that much time to kill online? Nah. You love me. You want me. Don’t fight it. Your shrine to me is touching, yet scary in a good way. I’m still wondering where you got a hold of those locks of hair.

My name is Jennifer (Jenn to my friends, although, I hear “bitch” is a term of endearment). I’m 25 years old, with my birthday on October 27th. Yes dear friends, I am a Scorpio. A true Scorpio at that, as my Sun and Moon sign are both Scorpio. What does that mean, you ask? I am a Scorpio magnified by 1000. Incredibly faithful, loyal, loving, jealous, insecure, demanding, possessive, outgoing, inquisitive, cranky, sexual and driven by this need to be in control. My ideal careers are professional Dominatrix and detective. Maybe I could solve crimes and beat the hell out of the perps for fun. Hmm…

I live in Florida. Don’t tell me it must be great with all the sun and heat. Look at me. I burst into flames when the sun hits me when I go out to get the mail. I’m Scandinavian, Irish and Black Dutch so I have practically no melanin in my system. I’m only staying here until I become rich and famous and I can move to Seattle to be near one of my idols, Tom Robbins. I despise the humidity here and the elderly drivers. I want to get a cow catcher installed on my car to plow thru those slow bastards on the interstate. When I tell people I’m in Florida they always ask if I go to the beach much. FYI: If you live in Florida, you rarely go to the beach. It’s like asking someone who lives in New York how many broadway plays they’ve seen that week.

I am currently desperately single and taking applications. You may send your information, intentions and gifts of currency to my email address . Seriously, send cash. I’m looking for someone intelligent, witty, has a sense of humor, loving, affectionate, loyal and worships the ground I walk on. Since I have yet to find these things in a person who wants me as well, I bought three cats. I'm told I can be intense in a relationship but isn’t a restraining order another way of saying, “I love you”? Damn straight it is! I’ve had some pretty bad dates in my time. I want to go out on a date and not have the following things happen: my cleavage is a focal point, conversation is always steered towards my/their sexual prowess, paying for everything including my date’s dinner and movie (cheap bastards), and finding out my date is a complete jackass who can’t string together a sentence properly. Possibly my standards are set too high?

I spend my time doing a variety of things. I love movies for a start. Classic horror (Hammer films and black and whites), 70’s and 80’s slasher flicks, modern horror to a point (I needed a Dramamine to get thru Blair Witch) and anything with Vincent Price in it (but I refuse to see Dr. Goldfoot again). Comedies are always a good bet with me. I like my humor high brow and British for the most part but I do have the urge for low brow humor now and then. I’m only human. The Jackass movie cracks me up for a start. Suspense and mystery are great as well. Hitchcock was brilliant. Old Britcoms are my favorites television wise. Things like Red Dwarf, Brittas Empire, Are You Being Served?, Waiting for God, Keeping Up Appearances, Ab Fab, etc. I watch Adult Swim on Cartoon Network religiously. Music fills my time as well. Opera (Mozart mostly), goth (NO! I’m not a Mansonite! I’m talking Bauhaus, the Cure, Switchblade Symphony, Human Drama, Steve Roach, Voltaire, etc.), new wave, some new stuff (I’ve gotten into Pink, White Stripes, Nickelback and TaTu lately), alternative when it was the alternative to the rest of the crap that’s pumped out of recording studios daily (Tool, etc.), some grunge, punk, oldies (Patsy Cline, Orbison, the Monkees), etc. I play a few pc and PS2 games as well. I love the Sims. I take out my frustrations on those poor bastards most days, filling a house with people, flammable objects and a grill. I’m such a mean bitch, huh?

Paganism is my religion. To clear any misconceptions: I do not worship Satan. Satan is a Xian concept. Paganism is the worship of many deities, centered around the respect for nature and witchcraft. I don’t “hex” people or use “black” magic. I use my magic only for good purposes. In the past I have written helpful articles on the topic weekly for readers who would write in with questions about the Craft. I enjoy learning what I can about Paganism and teaching others what I do know.

I love to read as well. I have many books on true crime and serial killers, as criminology is my passion. Stephen King, John Douglas, Douglas Adams, Tom Robbins, Aphrodite Jones, Anka Radakovich, Edgar Allen Poe, Franz Kafka and Scott Cunningham are among my favorites.

Stand up comedy always puts me in a good mood. Lewis Black (if it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college), Dennis Miller (that’s my opinion, I could be wrong), Eddie Izzard (executive transvestite!) and Dana Gould (Wes Craven’s Jesus in my bedroom), Elvira Kurt (let the one-eyed bastards play), Denis Leary (it's Sade not Shaw-day, alright?) and Elaine Boozler (you love me? you’re staying? good, watch this!) are my favorites.

I’ll be the first to admit I can be a little caustic. When I write my articles I don’t pull any punches and usually go for the jugular. I see no reason to sugar coat anything and I have to call ‘em as I see ‘em. I look forward to reading emails from those who have visited my site and any entries in my guestbook . Also, view pics of me taken by the lovely Mistress X.