Hey, as you probably already know by now my name is Aileen, but I seem to go by Widgett. I live in a little town in Oregon by Mt. Hood. I was born in Cali, on an airforce base. About 7 months later I moved to Okanowa, Japan and lived there 'til I was about 2. Then my mom and I moved to Idaho to be closer to Grandma and Grandpa (yes my mom and dad split up and have never been back to gether after that.
There is were the terrible things that happened to me started. There I was molested at a devastating, 2 years old. Then when I was 3,4, and 5 I was beaten by my now ex-stepmom. When I was 6 I was molested yet again but by a different person. Because I was so young, I could not deal with just the weight of all that so I pushed it away and out of my memory all together, which was the wrest thing ever. 'cause the body never forgets, I might of forgotten it continuously but I still remembered it uncontinuously. Then in 7th grade after someone tryed to rap me I started waking up in the night after having a terrible nightmare which was really a memory that I had forgotten I slowly but surly started to remember thoughs terrible things of which I tryed so hard to forget.
7th grade and the beginning of 8th I was awfully depressed all the time, more then usual for me. When I started to remember all over again (7th-8th grade) I had to go through all of what had happen to me, I had to come to peace with all thoughs terrible, awful things that had happened, but for me to be at peace and be happy again I had to become at peace with my past and look within myself for happiness once again and a will to live.
It took me at lest a year and a half just to sort through my past and become at peace with it, even though I to this day am not fully in peace with it. I may never be fully at peace with my past but at lest I am in peace with most of it. And with as much that I am in peace with I am able to be happy again and I have found my will to live, to see it through to the end.
Now I ask you, please do not feel the slightest bit sad for me, for with these things that I have gone through, I have learned life long lessens that no one else can learn unless they go through the same thing, and I would not be the person I am today if it were not for these lessens that I have learned. If you must feel sorry, feel sorry for the people who have done this to me, feel sorry that they will always have to live with what they have done to me and that even though I have forgiven most of them, I will never forget their curl, stupid mistakes that has changed my world for better or for worst.
And if you have gone through similar things as I have, I feel pitty for the people who have done it to you, and I willingly give my hand to help you as much as I can for I know what it is like, and I ask you to hang on to what little happiness you have grasp it with all your might and hang on for as long as you have to. You can always reach me by my e-mail, aim, or ym (yahoo messanger)
And for the rest of you, I ask you to be kind and helpful to thoughs who have gone through terrible and awful things and please do not make the same mistake that the people who do those kind of things.
