Dreams of Suicide

Each day barely making it through
No use I say
Not really wanting it enough
So many promises have become broken
Pent up feelings are becoming more violent as time goes by
Pills and blades don't seem to lessen the agony
Vodka only numbing the agony
Once its gone - the agony becomes worse within
Choking back tears - Must not let them see the real me
Long sleeves covering the scars
Breath mints slightly disguising the vodka
Sleep killing the effects of the pills
Not wanting to slip back into reality
Dreaming of suicide....

Written - December 22, 2000