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Darkness

The sharpness of the blade
Slicing through my pale skin
I don't feel the pain
All that I see is dark blood
Dark blood seeping through
Its warm and wet
Not full of life any more
I want it all to end
I cut deeper and more darkness comes
I look at the sight of my darkness
I no longer love
I sense my ending
Darkness is powerful
Darkness is hiding in my soul
I welcome the darkness to take me over
I no longer feel
I want to see death in its true reality
I can't wait
I cut deeper
The darkness is almost black
I love the feel of my blood on my fingers and wrists
I love the blood seeping through my life
I know my life is useless
I am feeling weaker
I cut deeper and deeper
More darkness comes
I can't feel the pain
I have no meaning
My breath is getting shorter
All I want to do is sleep for eternity
The end is getting nearer
I will no longer hurt inside
My soul belongs to death
I start to feel tears
On my cheeks
I take my hand to wipe off the tears
I smear blood on my face
My face tear and blood stained
I realize what I done
And now I must suffer


December 25, 1999