I SEE ALL

magentamkinley@hotmail.com


magentamkinley@hotmail.com

Tess deBont

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Richard O’brien! Rating: Nothing that a Rocky fan couldn’t cope with- heh, heh, heh!- 18 then? Note: All of the dialogue is taken more or less directly from “The Rocky Horror picture show” That mentioned is that which I imagine registers to the character, including the few lines she gets herself. Drawing on her “Well secluded I see all” line, this is not so much an attempt to describe the events from Magenta’s POV but her thought processes running through these events. I realised halfway through writing this that the character is a crazy, nymphomaniac bitch- this did not in the least alter her status as my favourite character in Rocky Horror. Pardon the many typos! Please send me feedback at magentamckinley@hotmail.com Thanks!!!!

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So here I am, sitting in the dark at the top of the stairs. The door opens letting dark into the darkness. Why does something always interrupt us as soon as we have a moment free from Frank’s tyrannical presence. Oh but this could be fun. The two people walking in look so sweet and innocent, what fun we can have with them. I hear my brother’s voice, darkness out of darkness, but not as dark as I am. “You’re wet.” He thinks to disconcert them. Don’t talk to me about being disconcerting, I’m the expert. They’re so sweet, they’re like that pair of little songbirds that we caught when we were children. My brother liked to break them ever so slowly. We have this power- they don’t even know the power we have, and we, supposed to be the background, space fillers, servants, slaves, prisoners. They’re right beneath me now but they can’t see me. I don’t like to be seen unless I can make a statement to go with it. Riff knows I’m here, the only presence’s either of us ever sense are each others. He knows I want to materialise onto the scene now- “You’ve come on a rather special night- it’s one of the master’s affairs.” I want to laugh, but I know he didn’t mean affairs the way I took it. The female of the two is the type I so despise, even worse than the prattling bit of nothingness that is Columbia. “Oh-” this girl squeaks “Lucky him.” This is my moment. When I move and say “He’s lucky” the poor things jump half out of their skins, I’d laugh, but that would ruin the effect. I wonder if I’m crazy, I certainly should be, if not I’d certainly like to be. Nobody understands me and I don’t understand anybody- except my beloved brother of course- so that’s a good start. If I’m not crazy then I’m certainly giving this poor startled pair the wrong impression now as I slide down the banister- hey why walk down what you could slide down it’s so much more fun- shrieking as I go- “You’re lucky! I’m lucky! We’re all lucky!!!” I think I freaked them out. They didn’t even realise I was there. Of course he just smiles and gives me that look- the affectionate older brother taking care of his little sister. Yeah. Right. This is his cue now. We’ve done this dance since we were children- of course it can mean more now. There must have been a point when things changed- when we stopped being childhood playmates, siblings and became something more. When did it happen. Well I can’t worry about that now- I’ll fail to worry about it tomorrow. His voice is music- “It’s astounding, time is fleeting, madness takes it’s toll.” I was right, we are mad, both of us- you’d have to be to survive this life without going insane. Ha ha! I think the poor creatures are a little disconcerted by the way I hiss and snarl- but I’m not snarling at them, why would I? The Time Warp isn’t so much a dance as a mating ritual- “But listen closely-” That was my cue- “Not for very much longer.” Why does he get the next line, why shouldn’t I?- “I’ve got to- keep control.” He always keeps control, I’d say he’s just as bad as Frank, male dominance really sucks in this age of feminism. The difference is that I want to be controlled by Riff. When he says “I remember doing the Time Warp” It’s not just a handy lyric, it’s true- how could we ever forget this dance? With Frank’s pressures on our time and attention there’s few other ways we have of achieving the closeness we had before he came. Of course there are lots of other ways- but we’re more or less in public at the moment- “Drinking those moments when- The blackness would hit me-” There is something truly orgasmic about this song. I love it that only the two of us notice this- “And A void would be calling!” What might look to these ignorant innocents a strange sort of handshake is- as only we know- not. Like the Time Warp it’s more another of those mating rituals. I can’t count the number of times we’ve run through the castle like this hand in hand our control the more complete that we are united in it. Hand in hand, children, innocence, friendship. Other brothers and sisters have these things- but I won’t dwell on it now. I don’t dwell I live. Now I have to say that these conventionalists are the most appalling lot of bores I have ever met. Years of pandering to them, these fools, Frank’s obsequious followers- it’s so easy staying silent if you know that at the end of it you’ll kill them all. But honestly, they can’t dance, they can’t even sing. How dare they sing the chorus of our own beloved Time Warps. I’ve got to shut them up. My turn- “It’s so dreamy, oh fantasy free me-“ Fantasy is the world in which we live. That is- everything we know is a fantasy, a dream that we’re constantly living- but how can I be freed? My dance is beautiful where theirs was not. They are nothing insects. Laughter bubbles- the poor little insect has fainted. There is only one who appreciates my dance enough to be seduced by it. I know he is. “So you can’t see me, no not at all.” That’s me, unheard, practically unseen unless I want to be. And frankly- oops pardon the pun- I wouldn’t want to be seen unless it’s part of a big bang. This is a nice post, one could get friendly with it. Dear Riff Raff, I always thought he was the more controlled out of the two of us- but what the hell is he doing with that doughnut? Hey, it’s me or the doughnut, baby! “In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention Well secluded- I see all.” Oh yes. You’d be surprised at all I see. Not only all but more. I’ve seen things in the worlds I go to that would make those pathetic creatures more than faint. His turn now- “With a bit of the mind flip.” If I take time to understand these words they have the most effect, and of course time is what we have, God knows we’ve been biding it for long enough. I strike up a seductive pose with the pillar- “You’re into the time slip-” This is practised, we’ve been singing this together for longer than I can remember, our voices will never be out of sync with each other- “And nothing can ever be the same.” When was it that things became so that they could never be the same? Would I have wanted something else? Would I have wanted what this fainting couple who shake in the doorway like little plants have. A love outside of family? They cannot love as we can- we’ve got it so simple really- not that anyone will ever appreciate this. My turn- “You’re spaced out on sensation” Like I said, this isn’t a pop song at all, it’s an in depth erotic drama, whatever, who gives a shit, just go with it- “Like your under sedation!” Sedation, yeah, that registers- calm down girl or you’ll give the game away. Why do those idiots have to join in and ruin our chorus. Our dance is so much more stylish than theirs. It’s individual which theirs is not- whilst not being individual- sometimes I wonder if I’m made up of one entity which is me or the two entities which are both of us. That horrible little girl is going to sing now- this is a profanity to our sacred song- so I’m not going to listen- look forward, he’s looking at you as usual, drown in the eyes that surround you, take you in and seduce you- bastard- did he ever give me any choice but to love him? - nobody else seems to register in my mind unless for amusement value. The sheep are singing again. Admittedly so are we, but our dance is still different- symbolic- confrontational almost- oh help, oh help, she’s going to tap dance. I look at Riff to see if I’m the only one trying not to laugh. Of course I’m not. Ha ha! The steps spoiled the poor little brat’s flow! Don’t you spit at me you bitch! I can ignore her. The dance is over now, everyone is staring at those two little intruders. They’re way out of their league here. They mumble something I have so interest in catching. I think it unease’s them the way we snarl at them. The so- called master is coming. I have to act- if I didn’t know that there was always one who could read my every true thought I’d go insane with my acting. Oh yes good one, he’s here. Has to make an entrance doesn’t he? Has to upstage everyone. I dare to glance behind me. Yes Riff’s as unimpressed as I am- you wouldn’t guess how much a raised eyebrow can imply, suggest, etc. So we have to put up this show- not only pretend to be his fawning followers but the most fawning of them all. That throne should not be his, it should be ours. There was a time when all of this was ours, we had the place to ourselves. Moments were not snatched but constant. Time truly meant nothing as the little brat said. Now even standing in Frank’s presence is a drag. How dare he look at my brother like that? He’s mine you bastard. I’d growl if I wasn’t smiling. Not that smiling is an entire façade- you either laugh or cry and I prefer to laugh. Oh thank god for that, he’s gone. Now we can have fun with- what were their names- Brad and Janet- yeah figures. Not that we take so much delight in undressing other people. It’s the power that counts. This guy has a strange shirt. I’m trying to concentrate on the fact that Riff is leering at me again but that little bitch is squeaking in my earlobe- “Slowly slowly it’s too nice a job to rush!” Her implausibly high voice intrudes upon my thought processes- and indeed my thought processes were about to go to far more interesting areas. The guy is mumbling again- he says far too much and of too little value. Hey, he and Frank would be perfect together! She’s not much better either. The helpless little insects scramble for their clothes; their so easy to push around, so how can I help but to bully them a bit- “Come along the master doesn’t like to be kept waiting.” Not that I give a shit what the master does or doesn’t like as I’ve made perfectly clear to him in the past. Oh yes. But it’s good to see how frightened and apprehensive the cowering little things look- I’ve got to rub it in- “Shift it!” Well they’re finally getting their butts moving so we can all squeeze into the lift- hey this could be fun. Wait a moment brother dearest don’t look at that little slut of a Columbia like that! Where the fuck did you get that bottle of whatever the hell it is from and why didn’t you tell me? We could have been on the brink of insanity together- oh well, not like we haven’t been there before- yeah! Smash that bottle- rub it in! The little blonde thing is funnier than I thought she was, I think she’s talking to me- “Is he- er- Frank I mean- is he your husband?” Don’t make me laugh- oh you have. But isn’t it nice to have a big brother to answer for you when you’re laughing too much to answer for yourself? “The master is not yet married, nor do I believe he ever will be, we are simply his servants” Oh ho that’s a good one, build up the false impression. Gee this lift is getting stuffy. Aha what have we here? Frank and his unoriginal stooges with neither fashion sense or suspenders are prepared for the big event of the night. This is the point where I shut up and put on part of the show. But believe me baby it’s only on the outside that I intend to shut up. The girl’s got more guts than the geek has- they’re both quite cute in the animal sort of way. There goes Frank on a spiel- “Magenta, Columbia- go and assist Riff Raff.” Assist him? Oh yeah, I do that all the time. What Frank doesn’t know. Only he would have the audacity to call my brother by that derogatory name. Inward snarl. Now he’s pretending he’s the centre of attention, spoilt brat. Not that he isn’t just that. I mean I wouldn’t say I had that honour. Oh but I will Frankie boy just you wait. The more you make me hate you the easier it will be. “Everything is in readiness master.” How we hate to attach that “Master” to the end of every line. He doesn’t even notice, only I do that, but I notice everything. Here we go, the point where he makes his big speech that just cries out for people to yawn at- soon darling, soon you’ll be able to let him know how boring he is. Now I just have to mumble “An accident” in his ear when the time is right. I’ll give him an accident! We know where the laser guns are kept- when the moment is right… Here it comes, bore of the evening. Poor Riff- I only have to stand here and look hideous in this appalling white sheet- he has turn the switches behind the creation of a pointless creation- “Rocky!” Gasps the unending bore. This is where I get another undressing job- well there has to be something to perk up the evening. Ouch! BASTARD! How dare you kick the one I love? I could kill him. Calm baby, calm- is that my mind or his telling me that. Well not only is this creation a bad cliché but he can’t sing either. Still at least while Frank’s making a fool of himself over his new toy we can dance away regardless. Oops, duty calls. “He’s a credit to your genius master.” The sad thing is that he doesn’t even realise how totally sarcastic we’re being. Go magenta, ham it up- “A triumph of your will.” Oh Columbia dear I think I’ll die laughing- for the first time the girl said the right thing! But this block’s not even “OK”- another one who’s perfect for Frank. Oh shit, the freak’s got an opening to sing again. Well all of that went right over my head- not in the sense that I’m thick you understand- more the sense that frank is. I’m just a victim here. Ha ha! That girl is going to burst my ear drums one of these days- “EDDIE!” Pardon me if I look unimpressed by the juvenile delinquent’s big entrance. If he had half a brain he’d sing so much better than he does- the thing is half a brain is exactly what he has. Still it puts me- me being Riff and I of course- in the background again. There’s a difference between being showy and being showy. Our show won’t come to he end, but believe me it will be done with so much more style than this lot have. The thing about Frank and everybody else here is that they can lead the lifestyle’s they do, sleep with whoever the hell they like and think they’re living life to the full when they will never know what love means or even passion out of the lust sense. These are the thoughts, the pieces of knowledge that would place us far above them all however much lower we appear. And the thing about being below everyone is that it gives you so much ammunition for feeling superior. But Frank’s sulking in a corner and the big guy’s centre stage, so we can slope of wordless into the freezer and do our own dance in their. Neither of us needs to speak, speech is unnecessary when two minds work as one. Not that I’m not an individual, I’m just an individual who’s entire being is dominated by another. Gee, I guess the freezer is the best place to be, cos God knows if the two of us are dancing together the air really needs to be cooled down. Ouch! Well that was chilling anyway, being thrown against the wall by a maniac with an ice pick. I’m missing Frank’s big scene ‘Cos Riff is looking at me again. Oh no baby, don’t give me that look, there ain’t nothing I can do to ease it here and now. Patience. Ewww, why do I always get the messy jobs? Not that blood isn’t sometimes a turn on but not when it involves Frank and a pair of rubber gloves. I don’t believe it, he’s going to sing again. I WANT TO GO HOME! But home is a long way away, and we have a whole night to get through. Ha, the little virgin’s under his spell, that doesn’t mean she ca sing to any effect though- permission to roll my eyes. No, I totally refuse to join the masses in a “Frank and Rocky ra ra ra!” I mean, grow up! Why a wedding anyway? It’s not Frank’s scene and certainly not mine. Perhaps I’m just being bitter and twisted- after all when you fall in love with your brother marriage isn’t really something you can aspire to. Thank God they’re all gone. I hope I never have to see any of those people again. Shame about Eddie, but hey nothing goes to waste in this place. By some marvellous stroke of luck Frank’s instructed Columbia to show the “Guests” or is the right word prisoners? To their rooms. So Riff and I get to release some of that voyeuristic intention- not that watching Miss Weis stumble into a bowl of water is entirely fulfilling- but it gets better now that Frank’s come in to join- yeah this is getting good- uh- huh- oh you spoil sport you turned it off when it was just getting to the good part! Clean the bloody floor yourself! I don’t know why we need the monitors. There’s electricity in the air, but it’s always been here so it’s no big deal- apart from it being a huge deal. Magenta Alright if you’re going to send me psychic messages, darling, they could be more original than my name- although there’s something about the way he thinks it that makes me want to melt into this broom. What am I saying? I don’t have feelings for this broom do I? Yes, now. He tells me my smile is evil; I think that’s meant as a good thing. Poor little Rocky- not that it’s Rocky I’m gazing at right at this moment. So what? I think my brother’s sexy! When will everyone stop getting at us about it and let It be. I suppose it would be a terrible thing to be accepted. I don’t need their acceptance when I have his. So whilst he’s snarling at rocky I’m snarling at him- I’m about to get quite jealous actually- he seems to be having rather too much fun dripping hot wax over the creature! Hot wax- hot wax! CALM DOWN girl! Chains clanking against the elevator shaft. Laughter, mine and my brother’s in perfect harmony. Songlike. The frightened grunts of the terrified creature. Myself- running to the shaft and laughing down it. My brother. Beside me now. Putting down the candlestick. Giving me that look that says blood is in the air. His hands. My hands. Our fingers just touching like two leaves thrown together in the breeze, moulded to the same stalk. There is something so sensual in this simple gesture we share; something that is between us and nobody will ever get between it. His eyes are intense, he would scare me if I did not know that the same look was in my own eyes. I love him, both unconditionally and otherwise if that was possible-although somehow the brother and the lover never became two separate entities in my mind. Does that make me twisted? What the hell. I am crushed, perfectly, controlled and taken over. It is a seduction that I relish. When did it happen? When did affection turn to passion? Friendship turn to ecstasy? When was the first time that the child hood companion and only one I ever had turn round for the first time and sink his teeth into my neck. This is so dangerous. If Frank found out… why does that not have the off putting effect that it should have? But nothing is as it should be. I should be working, something, anything but being here and thus, my mind blacking out in a red hot haze… Quite how I find myself in Columbia’s bedroom I’m not entirely sure. I can hear Columbia tapping down the corridor. We were in the main hall, and then in the shower- well who wouldn’t be obsessed with showers if they were stuck with hair like mine? Riff and I didn’t separate until in the corridor later. He wandered of to find Frank- the dutiful bit and I ended up borrowing Columbia’s hairdryer- not that she need one she hardly has any hair. But obviously Frank assumes a mere maid to below such luxuries. Columbia’s style is actually more or less my own. With the exception of that hideous black and white, huge poster of the delinquent on wheels I could live with most of this stuff. Wonder what her music taste is? She has an album cover by the lamp saying “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” Never heard of it. Sounds shite. Nothing startles Columbia, I’ll have to give her that. We’d have to call each other friends by default. She just smiles when she sees me and starts painting her toenails. Then she starts painting mine. Well okay- last time anyone offered to paint my toenails was- well Riff, yesterday, but there you go. That’s when we switch on the monitor to see what’s doing. Yee ha! Things are hotting up in the Janet Weis department! The little sweetie’s pulling the cute block of Rock, therefore called Rocky! Only she has to sing as she does it, dear innocent. What a patronising bitch I can be at times. It’s female company that brings it on though; blame Columbia. “I’d only ever kissed before” Says Miss Weiss. Why does that not surprise me? It surprises Columbia though- “You mean she’s-” She’s so innocent really- in the non- innocent sense. Great, a chance to flaunt my superior knowledge- “Uh huh.” I’m quite amazed by the change in dear Janet. Who would have known she had it in her? Not that I respect her more for it though, uh, uh, I don’t do respect; that’s for family members only. If Columbia doesn’t concentrate hard enough she’s going to smudge my toenails. Now get me straight- well okay straight is maybe a bad phrase- I wouldn’t call myself gay and I certainly don’t have any real feelings for Columbia- she’s just sort of their really- and well Janet’s antics are certainly putting the temperature up in here a bit. I’m not sure if I’m waving this hair dryer at Columbia as resistance or otherwise. I was fairly sure that I was heterosexual- unlike everybody else here- not that the truth of what Riff and I are makes anybody feel a whole lot better. But we do have, amongst our many unspoken agreements that we can sleep with who we like when we like as long as we know who we really belong to. Ho hum. But things are cooling and I have to go and prepare dinner. OUCH! On the way out of Columbia’s room I am seized by a pain like red hot pokers. Somebody somewhere is hurting my brother. I will not be seen with tears in my eyes. Revenge will be sweet. Dinner is remarkably easily prepared considering who it is. I can’t wait to see their faces when they find out- and then again when they find out we’ve hidden his remains under the table. I’d laugh- if I didn’t want to cry. When I said I wanted Frank to make me hate him I meant by hurting me, not my brother. Bastard. Calm. Relax. Oh God and I thought ringing bells for the servants was a thing of the past. Turns out it’s that little slut Columbia, being bored and wanting someone to talk to. Little bitch doesn’t she understand anything? I’m glad she doesn’t know me at all, like almost everyone. Maybe being known inside and out by one person makes up for the fact that nobody else you ever meet will understand anything about you. She’d be so shocked if she knew what we were capable of. I wonder if I’m really evil. If I am is it just me or is Riff evil too It would make sense that we both are. Maybe only he is. Maybe neither of us are. What is evil anyway? Who really gives a shit? Turns out, when I start thinking about it over a fag- little bitch doesn’t even want to talk she just gets lonely – there are only two things in the world that I have any feelings for- my brother and my home planet- so maybe the passion I have for these two makes up for my heartlessness towards everything and everyone else. Am I really heartless? I think too much- shut up girl! Oh look I dude on wheels just rolled through. Maybe it’s time to move butt. I could have ruined my big entrance onto Frank’s little reunion by laughing at the absurdity of it all. There they are, squeaking away- “Janet!- Dr Scott!- Janet!- Brad!- Rocky!” Over and over! Change the channel guys! Here goes then, gee I love this gong. It vibrates. I didn’t just think that. “Master! Dinner is prepared! Bastards! Nobody appreciated my effort. This is where I stop smiling and start feeling like a freak. I can’t wait for this dinner. I slope off through the hole in the wall. Riff is standing there waiting for me. Shit! He does have this habit of surprising me around darkened corners- but there’s no time to start thinking those thoughts now- dinner- focus- dinner! We don’t speak, we don’t need to. But the look we share confirms anew our hate of Frank. It tells me not to waste time feeling hurt by anything he does to us. Strength. Dinner. It’s such a dark affair. Dark affair, hmm. Those seated around the table look like a lost selection of suspects from a bad crime novel. Only we know what we’re doing, so now we can flaunt this fact. And nobody can complain if I we do throw wine all over them because they’re scared. And because, really, they don’t have a hell of a lot of choice. It’s one of those set ups when we can’t help but to smile insanely at everything. They are genuine smiles, part in knowledge of the power we have, part in having it together again. This is the big moment. We could have laughed out loud but it would have spoiled the hilarious silence that settled round the table. “That’s a rather tender subject- another slice anyone?” Oh crack me up! They’re all so shocked- as though Eddie wasn’t quite as nutritious as any chicken- I tasted it, yum. But Columbia’s the most priceless of them all- “Excuse me” Bet she thinks she seems so sweet and heart broken. But what a scream! Go for it girl. Just as long as nobody gets the idea that I’m a nice girl. By now the poor little thing- I drip with sarcasm- will be crumpled up in her stylish bedroom sobbing her guts out. I didn’t realise the old fool could sing too. But this is good, if we can sing along we can subtly make Frank feel uneasy. I know we do. We give him such a look when the guy mentions his “Evil deed” it’s to die for if you’ll pardon the expression. Riff and I are on either side of Frank. We’re still too far apart this way. When did things change? There must have been a moment when he stopped looking at me with all the affection one might feel for their younger sister and the looks became lust. Whatever Columbia says- time means everything. But although I contemplate I don’t real care. I know nobody’s looking at us and that’s fine because we’re not looking at anybody which is why when the appalling song runs to a close I turn to snarl at him- in the sexiest possible way you understand. He has to keep me in control. I think he’s afraid I’ll give our game away by my lack of control. Or maybe he’s afraid I’m infectious. I’m glad I scare him sometimes. Pardon me while I die of laughter! This little crowd are a selection of typical reactions to the sight of a dead body! But they hadn’t expected that to be revealed half way through lunch! Oh dear, poor little Frank’s discovered his creation is turning bisexual! It’s the end of the world, as we know it people and aliens! The bitch is screaming and things are hotting up! Wheels are rolling and frank is freaking! One day I’ll have to control this manic laugh- but hey- Riff can control it for me- although you needn’t say “Shut up!” in quite that tone excuse me! You can’t control yourself so wonderfully either and don’t I know it! Maybe that’s it- maybe my laugh is too much of a turn on and we don’t have time to go there now! Sometimes I tell myself that I don’t see that what we do is so terribly wrong. Isis and Osiris were twins after all- and they got to be great Egyptian deities on their planet- their parents Nut and Geb were brother and sister too. I guess these things run in the family- ha ha! Whatever else I say, I think I probably am crazy. Oh dear, we’re in public again, maybe it’s time for serious face. Snort. Well here comes your running commentary straight- Ha!- from your passive observer- here we have the heroine miss Janet Weis squeaking about her feet being stuck to the floor. To the left ladies and gentlemen is er probably ex- fiancé Brad majors- similarly squeaking. A little to the forefront of this situation is boredom on wheels sprouting some pseudo scientific jargon, the only word of which I picked up was “Vibratory”- hey darling be careful how close behind me you stand I may do something rash- er- that thought was directed at Riff not Dr Scott, in case you were wondering out there. Continuing our commentary we have the boring bits in the background that is miss Columbia looking truly stylish in baggy pyjamas and funny ears and just behind her we have the Rocky- looking vaguely stylish in more or less nothing. Right where I’m focused is the lovely Miss Magenta, obviously the star of this show and her beloved sibling otherwise known as Riff Raff. In control- or thinking he’s in control- digression here- the thing is that everybody here thinks they have control of the situation. Dr Scott has plans, the geeks must have some hunch as to what the hell’s going on by now. Frank thinks they’re all wrong and he’s the only one who knows what he’s going- but there’s a big surprise coming up for you Frankie- the only ones here who know how this thing’s going to end are your loyal servants Riff Raff and Magenta at your service. And then there’s Columbia, maybe her big moment will come in a moment cause she sure ain’t got anything to do with this big scene. I have a particular fetish for the Medusa machine actually- Zap! And then they’re turned to stone! Love it! Zap again! And there goes the heroine! I’ll agree with the earthlings at this point though- Frank is indeed a hot dog- not that that’s the word I’d have used- oh no. At least hot dogs are edible and vaguely phallic if you think about it hard enough. Did I say hard enough? Shut up you twisted girl! I probably am deeply twisted somewhere, big deal! What did I say I must be psychic! Go Columbia! Shriek! Yell! Burst our helpless eardrums! Can I zap her Frank? Huh? Yay! I told you this machine gave me a buzz! If we knew how to play violins there’d be a sarcastic screaming sound coming from our direction. Frank’s going for the Oscars in tragedy! “And my children turn on me!” What is he on? We haven’t even started to turn on him yet! You don’t know what it means to be turned upon! That’s it I’ve had enough- screw control I’m going to freak and shut him up! Watch out guys this stage is mine! “I grow weary of this world!” This is certainly becoming true- hey get off my arm darling how can I remain stressed and freaky when you’re doing that- uh- hem- “When she we return to Transylvania- ha?” The “Ha” was purely for effect you understand, if you’re going to make a statement make a statement! I daresay Frank’s saying something now, but as I’m gazing behind me with yearning gaze No. 37 I don’t catch it, so “I ask for nothing- master” Seems like an effective sentence. Okay, if I needed anything else to tell me that Frank was a bastard and deserved to dies then “And you shall receive it- in abundance!” was it. And off storms the self styled hero of the piece. As though he were not only the big guy around here but a case for sympathy. Well look me in the eyes- do you see them watering? Ha! I admit I am a little pissed off though- nobody speaks to me like that! This whole place should be ours anyway! Hold my hand and we’re half way there. Thank God my brother is always here or I could go completely insane; okay so I go insane when he’s around frequently, but somehow I prefer our own insanity. Our dance is persona, close. All we get time for these days. Soon baby, soon. I’m fed up with waiting. I want to return to the days when time really meant nothing. When all we had was each other and our planet- when we didn’t have to be burdened with the lives of those who are mere insects to us. I hate them for producing nothing but coldness within me. For making me put on this show. For not letting me express my true evil nature- for, shut up! Was that my mind or his? I hate it when he does that- in the sense of hate that’s most like love of course. Everybody’s gone and we can run off to prepare. Basically this means getting changed and listening to Frank’s pretentious Floor Show until we can find just the right moment to strike. Well obviously the first part is the most fun. Not that I can say I particularly love Transsexual’s style of national dress- I wouldn’t wear it on any other occasion than this believe me. But it’ll make an effect- that and I allow myself to be dictated to by a member of the male species. The problem is that whenever I try to hate him it ends up in bed. Oh well. I’m having shit loads of trouble with this hairspray- oh thanks Riff- I’ll sort your hair out if you sort mine. Don’t we look like a couple of twats? Ah, right. Grab the guns and prepare for action! What do you mean I don’t get a gun? Oh I know we agreed that he could kill Frank, because after all I get enough satisfaction our of just watching them die. I dare say that’s sadistic to the worst extreme, but the best part about this whole night has been watching them all destroy each other- Eddie was the best, blood on ice, and Columbia screaming. Hmmm, okay so I’m getting excited at the prospect of the near future that doesn’t mean you can bite my neck- oh alright- hmm. Their music is appallingly mediocre, the dancing even worse, although I must admit I’m marginally impressed by the change in dear Janet- who would have thought it? And Brad- how did he manage to go all through this night without really changing in the slightest? Rocky- no, there are some “People” that just inspire no reaction whatsoever. And Columbia- I’m beginning to realise how incredibly human that girl is. Maybe she should die too. What the hell. Whatever will happen in the next few minutes will happen, I don’t give a shit as long as it’s dramatic and we get this place back to ourselves ‘cos God knows I’ve got an itch to scratch- see I respect Miss Weiss to the place where I’m quoting her- maybe she can live. It all comes down to power in the end. That’s behind everything we say and everything we do. Now we have power over all the five lives in that room and they poor innocent things, thinking themselves anything but innocent as they tumble into the swimming pool for a final orgy- they know nothing. I can’t say I hold with orgies myself. Call me old fashioned- although I can’t imagine anyone would but really you could almost say I stick to the one true love thing. Okay, so my one true love is my brother which I imagine is not only illegal, even on Transsexual- but also fairly twisted. But would choice did I ever really have even if I’d wanted one which I don’t think I did? But then I’ve never known anything else- but don’t start thinking that makes me remotely innocent- only Riff and I know where we go at nights- ah- hem! It’s not like I’ve ever had the option to turn to him with a “I just want to be friends” “I don’t think this is working out” “I don’t think my family approve”- Ha!- even if I’d wanted to. People would think sleeping with a friend is a problem- maybe they should try being us for one minute. Not that I have hang ups, I don’t have hang- ups. In fact it’s them in there that have them. This is a dream they’re living when they say that what they’re doing is the opposite. They’re not “Being it” at all. We’re the only ones who know what that means. But then we are superior to them in every way. Not to mention we’re a force, the two of us, one the will impress them, scare them- one that they with all their half hearted relationships and loves could not possibly think to break apart. Their dancing really is shit, but Frank looks so happy. Riff looks at me. I smile. He smiles. I nod. We go, this is it guys! My brother’s beloved voice tears the air in two “Frank N’ Furter, it’s all over/ your mission is a failure/ Your life style’s too extreme.” Not that we have any problems with extreme lifestyle you understand- we just prefer our nature of extremism to theirs. “I’m your new commander/ you now are my prisoner.” Yes! The power! I was intended for this moment- I know he gets the total limelight but it wouldn’t be the same without me. “We return to Transylvania” At last, I’ve waited so long to hear those words. The ecstasy of complete power and of dreams come true! “Prepare the transit beam.” Are you talking to me? Maybe you should prepare your own transit beam! But I could laugh. These are orders that I love to take. Maybe Frank will come up with something amusing- he’s thinking about it, thinking, thinking- He’s got it! “Wait!” he cries, but he is fallen, crushed, broken. We are judgement, the end, his reckoning. Perhaps we too should be judged, as we are after all far more evil than Frank. But no. Nothing can be crushed that comes as a partnership. You see the difference between the two sides in this showdown between my brother and frank is that nobody truly loves Frank. Oh dear, he wants to explain. I wouldn’t have dreamed he’d come up- I’ll give him coming up!- anything quite so dull! Doesn’t he even realise how much we’re humouring him?! Doesn’t he know that we’re allowing him this epitaph he sings for himself out of total malice? It’s like watching a spider try to run away on it’s last two legs, knowing that it’s going to be squashed. Well he better hurry up because- excuse m if I yawn- we just can’t wait to squash it. I’m sorry, I can’t help but voice my contempt of that pathetic attempt- “How sentimental” Don’t look so hurt oh fallen scum- I could do much worse, but I’ll leave that to my brother- “And also presumptuous of you.” He’s so scared now, backing, trembling, cowering, finished, destroyed, wrecked, cornered- And the there’s Riff and myself in control, callous, cruel, cold, powerful, one entity, victorious already, deadpan in the face of Frank’s despair- “You see, when I said we were to return to Transylvania, I referred only to Magenta and myself.” Yep, still turns me on when he says me name! Down girl! “You were to remain here- in spirit anyway.” Then there’s the earthlings, shocked out of their dream, cowering, apprehensive and unsure- so human again in other words- “My god that’s a laser.” I still think I should have got one too. Riff’s great when he does unemotional though- “Yes Dr Scott- a laser capable of emitting a beam of pure anti matter.” He could just as well be saying yes I do believe it is a jam doughnut. By the way when I though it’s great when he’s unemotional- that doesn’t mean that emotional wouldn’t be completely perfect either. LATER! What’s Frank’s crime? Don’t you get it? There doesn’t have to be a total crime- how about he’s a bastard and we hate his guts?! So I’m in insensitive bitch mode- I’m a victim of circumstance, as soon as Frank is gone all impediments to my being a completely sensitive and wonderful person will be gone! So I can continue being a bitch with no excuse. What a wonderful sexy cliché- well sexy coming from who it comes from that is- “Now Frank N’ Furter your time is up. Say goodbye to all of this, and hello to oblivion!” Shoot out! Shoot out! yes I suppose guns do make phallic symbols! And believe me if anybody ever said that large guns was making up for other areas they were dead wrong- I’m not sure that anyone did ever say that anyway. Maybe I just have a phallic symbol obsession. How did Isis ever live when she found out that Osiris was remade somewhat- incomplete, shall we say? Anyway. I knew Columbia was far too human. What was she thinking screaming like that? That she could die in Frank’s place? Well she’s certainly welcome to die! Strange, I once almost thought I could like her. Poor Frank- and insensitive- a death falling from a curtain rail is really very inelegant and ruins the dramatic stylish death scene I was hoping for. Oh no maybe Rocky can pull one together. Frown. I didn’t realise the rock had feelings. Don’t think it bothers me to see him being killed. And this is elegant after all- climbing the Eiffel tower substitute! Chased by my own beloved maniac with a gun! And down he falls with a splash- literally- of true screen drama- even if it does take the piss. There is perfect silence. We both know that we want to laugh but that would completely ruin the effect. Have to make a show. Of course it’s the Brad that doesn’t realise this and breaks the silence. Look shut up humans this is our moment in the limelight- so I’ll put forward a lie that allows Riff the chance- “But I thought you liked them- they liked you.” Of course I didn’t think any such thing- but we couldn’t possibly reveal our true natures in front of these people could we? Or at least if we can it’s only those aspects that are bitter evil, and twisted- that is ninety per cent of what we are. He takes advantage of the acting opportunity beautifully- “THEY DIDN’T LIKE ME! THEY NEVER LIKED ME!” Er, I think you may have over acted a bit there. So let’s make up by advancing threateningly on they of such insignificance that cower in the corner where they belong. “Dr Scott- I am sorry about your nephew.” Of course, neither of us gave a shit about Eddie, but it helps to be charming now and then. Time to get rid of the waste of space I think- “You should leave now, we are about to beam this entire house back to the planet of-” Giving me that truly seductive smile- “Transsexual, in the galaxy of Transylvania.” He’s so cute when he whispers! “Go- now!” They’re gone they’re gone they’re gone! Now we’re alone and can laugh to great effect among the dead bodies of our enemies. We have won! This is where it turns out we have sensitive sides after all- yeah right. “Our noble mission is almost completed my most-” -snarl- “Beautiful sister.” I’d look a whole lot better without these vile clothes hey there’s an idea! And-um- mind what you do with your hand it’ll take the make-up off! Oh never mind. Sigh. “Soon we shall return to the moon drenched shores of our beloved planet.” Look, it’s not like you need to do seductive tone on me. Not that I mind of course. Still moon drenched shores is good- a typical romantic cliché from those who are really not in a position to be romantic. Oh goody, can I have some lime light? Seems so. Let me wax lyrical for a bit- please? I’ve been more or less silent for far too long- I want to sing, dance, scream- but definitely scream before the night is out. Here I go then- “Sweet Transsexual! Land of night-” He’s leering at me again! Don’t do that you’ll make me loose concentration! “To sing and dance once more to your dark refrain- to take that- step to the right!” “HA!” I love it when we talk in unison, it reminds me just how abnormally close we are. And always have been. Taking that step to the right, since I can remember. Always doing our own dance to other’s people’s tune and manipulating others into our own. “But it’s the pelvic thrust!” hey don’t do that thrust quite so vigorously or my control is going to drain altogether- “That really gets you insane!” Insane is definitely what we’re going- oh- grrrr. In return for not getting to kill Frank I do at least get the last word- “ON OUR WORLD! WE’LL DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!!!” That’s how it ends, in a victorious dance, in passion, ecstasy and ultimate fulfilment- before I go to far- I think now is the time to- blackout! And laugh, laugh into insanity!!!!! “HA HA HA!!!!”

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