Along time ago I had a soul
Now there's nothing but a void
It's hard and im starting to loose control
My innocence has been destroyed
My heart aches, literally aches, with pain
I searched the world for something
But everywhere I go its all the same
There is nothing
I don't want to die alone
I don't want to die alone
I'd sell my soul for someone to love
If only for a moment
I can't stop all these tears
They keep raining from my bloodshot eyes
Im so full of desperation so full of fear
All I can do is cry
I try to sleep
to dream of something
I dont want sex
or money
or power
I just want what everyone else takes for granted:
LOVE
I'm so fucking sick of being by myself
I feel like a prisoner
Rotting alone in his cell
I once was a flower but i guess my beauty just withered away
Now I dont know what i am just that i feel so much pain
Why do I feel this way?
What the fuck have I done to deserve this?
I just want something!
Im sick of living just to die!
Laughter seems trivial
Guess because I havent experienced it in so long...
How can a child so young
have a heart that feels so old?
How can something that should be pure
have a soul so goddam cold?
My hands they shake they tremble
they yearn to touch
to feel
I cant fucking take this!
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Why does everything have to make me feel this way?
I didnt ask for this
I never asked to be born
Even the trees look sad today
The sky is grey and theres no sunshine
Just me in an empty house
wishing I didnt feel so numb
Because numbness is the worst form of pain
I know, ive been through them all
First comes sadness
Then agony
then Hell
and after all the bullshit that no one deserves
You become numb
and it doesnt get worse than that
I dont wanna kill myself
i just wanna end the pain
Im scared of so many things
But most of all
Im afraid of dying alone
But I fear thats whats happening
I cant stop it
thats just the way it is
AND I HATE GOD SO FUCKING MUCH
for making it that way
I hate myself so fucking much too
and i really dont know why
Im too apathetic to find out
fuck it all, fuck everything
everything i am or ever wanted to be
its useless
Im just a fucked up loser
and thats all i'll ever be
I dont want to die alone
I dont want to die alone
I dont want to die alone
I dont want to die alone
But thats just what I am doing...