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These are no longer the times for men of men.
I look far and wide across humanity and see its weakness, its simple desire of ease and careless action. No longer do I see bright shinning stars among the darkness of values weakened by the wish to simply get by with as little strife as possible. And I weep for the future.
This time drains us that would be different, those of us that understand to achieve much we must risk much. Know then to that I am no better than any other, for I also have corrupted my values to achieve some goals, and I have indeed lost much. I am as weak as the weakest, and as strong as the strongest, but so much older in that I can see my time has long since passed.
When my challenge came, I faced it, not because I chose to, but because it was thrust upon me. When it came to the point of choice between my own evil and good, I chose my good, and in that millionth of a moment, saw all of the divinity of creation, and was singly at one with every moment and molecule of all being and time. And now I weep when I look out across the great spans of man. Weep to know that no longer are Gods or Heros of man venerated except when it is convenient or easy to do so.
I weep for the future as there no longer is a place for those that face insurmountable odds, and will give everything to do what they believe is right.
Indeed my armour is old and rusty from unuse, my horse tired and lacking of stamina. But still I would stand against the very sands of time for the two reasons I have left, even though it would leave them in a world of man that compromises their very cores in order just to get by doing the least they can. Though I am old, rusty and tired, I yet stand,
and still I weep.
Kenneth A. Steenrod
March 05, 2011
Thoughts of a Medieval Lord:
It occurs to me that civilization is a word used to describe what happens when a group of people create something called laws to allow the to steal from others without fear of physical retaliation.
For instance, a guild can, by rite of law, now continue to take gold from my treasury even though the contract has been torn asunder and no further goods or services received, simply because I have not signed a second contract revoking the right to take the gold outlined in the first contract.
Such is no more than common thievery committed by this guild hiding behind their laws.
And by this same law of the land, I may no longer smite down these thieves, lest I myself be deemed lawless for protecting my holdings from nothing more than common thieves.
To this I say bring back anarchy. Give us a little barbarism that we may strike down the evil of this world and rip them screaming and clawing from behind their laws to deliver upon them the justice and punishment they so richly deserve.
Kenneth A. Steenrod
Nov. 20, 2009
When I saw you walk up the stairs at the party, a year and a half after we first met, a surge of energy ran through me like a bolt of lightning. When our eyes met, your soul seemed to light up, and I know my smile betrayed my elation to see you again.
I watched you as much as I could, enjoying the bounce in your step and the grace of your movements, and it looked like even your eyes would smile every time you caught me looking.
Often a lock of your beautiful hair would fall in front of one of your eyes, seeming for a moment to show a light hearted flirtation as if you were peering delicately from behind a bed curtain saying "Can you catch me?".
Then as I was struggling to come up with a subtle way to get your phone number, you solved the dilemma as if on cue by wickedly mentioning that I had failed to call you back that year and a half ago. It was almost as if you were reading my every thought.
And then it became time to leave. As I put on my jacket and misaligned the clasps, you came over and straightened them, standing very close in front of me. With your slender fingers opening and closing the clasps as I looked down, the beauty of your soul consumed me. Not a word needed to be said by you, and in that moment I became compelled to know everything about you, down to even your smallest desire. The hug that then came, I can do no justice here. As we stepped even closer, my arms went around your waist and yours went around my neck and chest, I was suddenly adrift in an exquisite sea of your essence. The scent of your hair was a hundred fold sweeter than the finest pastries I have ever known. As I pressed my cheek against yours and felt the softness of your hair on my face, I was overwhelmed with the desire to kiss you, which I could no more fight than I could stop the racing of my heart.
With people around us, and not wishing to thrust an unrequited desire upon you, I merely whispered in your ear "Thank you" and promised that you would indeed see me again. I thanked you for giving me the chance to know you better in the few days left before you started a new journey in your life.
I find myself giddy an unbelievably happy at the thought of spending time with you during these precious few days we have left. And this surprises me. I am not the least bit saddened by your immanent departure, but am instead glad to grow and blossom this relationship as far as you wish to. I can not believe that I am driven so hard to know your every nuance, every joy and every sadness about you even though it can not last. For me, the true sadness of all this would be failing to become everything we possibly could before you go.When I look at you, it is as if you float above the ground. Every thought I have of you, in every memory of you, you are an angelic body floating some inches above the surface. This is how you looked as I arrived at your home two days later. Even though the sun had gone down hours before, your beauty shown with a radiance greater than a thousand suns as you glided towards me. I was awed by the perfectness you represent to my desires. Always everything I need you to be at the exact moment I need it.
As I set across the table from you at dinner I kept getting lost in your eyes. I found myself falling into the depths of your soul as if it were a great warm sea of sweet chocolate. I could feel the electricity growing with each of our touches as the evening progressed. When you laid your head on my shoulder my heart almost exploded, you could have asked me for the world then and I would have given it to you. Later in the evening when you put your hand upon my leg, I knew that you had forever touched my soul. There was only that moment there with you, listening to your voice and your laugh, watching you smile and falling into your eyes. That moment need not have gone a second further, it was already the most perfect evening I can ever remember having.
As impossible as it sounds, you made it even better when we parted. As we stood there and gave our goodbye hugs, I completely forgot the chill of the next day's early morning air. I remember only the warmth of our bodies pressed tightly against each other, the passionate tension of wanting it to go further and yet holding back. And then the kisses. They were warm, soft and delicate at the same instant as being fierce, passionate and consuming. They filled me with such a desire to know you even more deeply, to hold your hair in my hands, to make every nerve in your body dance and pulse with pleasure and fulfill your deepest desires and needs.
And then we parted.
Copyright December 2008
A few writings that I have sent to various Ladys over the last few years
Greetings Dearest Lady:
It is simply by being yourself that all of your qualities easily show, and raise my thoughts of you to ever higher levels. It is perhaps good that you like to read so much, for if all of the endearing qualities I have seen in you thus far where to be listed here, they could easily fill a novel, volume after volume. Herein I shall list only a few, in the order as I remember them occurring. But, please know that I do not mean to embarrass you, only to show you through the honesty and openness of my writings, a small window into my soul. This small window through which you have, with perfect aim, let your arrow fly. When first we met, your eyes took hold of mine, and I felt as if a rope had been cast through my chest and encircled my very being. In the interest of brevity, I shall leave my thoughts of your exquisite features for another time. And then you spoke, and it was as if a chorus of angels had landed on my shoulders and were singing a gossamer tune. The more we chatted, the more I came to know your intelligence and resolve, so much so that I believe there is nothing you can not accomplish, if you desire it. Following closely on the heals of this was your great kindness and compassion, indeed your heart is big enough to love the entire world. Contrary to what you wrote about being a bumbler, I witnessed your natural grace and poise with every step you took, and every motion you made. When we dance it will feel as though we are on the air, and each movement will be like fluid silk. I am sure that when you ride there will never have been a Lady who will have presented as regal a picture as you will. But enough of my ramblings for now. I do not wish to bore you with this continued gilding of your qualities, so yes, share with me your eccentricities that I may bask in them and compare them to mine.
Greetings Most Shinning Example of Grace:
.................................................... Now let me say how impressed by your writings I am, although, from that first day at Valor, I would have said it impossible that you could build on the foundation of perfection you displayed. Now, however, with an unseen ease, you have shown me the amazing error of that thought. With every sentence, nay, with almost every word you have sent, I have seen an increasing beauty, confidence, and honor, marked and measured by none, equaled by few. Kind Lady you have flown so far above a line I thought would never be breached, you have bested me in the most pleasing way possible. For this I give you my service for as long as you shall have it, you need but to ask. I shall endeavor to be worthy of your continued attentions, and pray that I am able to preform above the high water mark you have set. I will wait with great anticipation ........................, that I may again be in the company of so great a Lady. If it pleases you, I will e-mail you from time to time, as the muses see fit to grant me with the words to sing praise of your beauty and grace.
Greetings Most Humble Lady:
Does a rose with its delicate petals and soft sent deserve the rain or the sun? Nay it does not as it is merely a part of nature, and we simply comment on the beauty of its creation. I have seen gold pulled from the ground, where it lay buried for hundreds of years, but it retained its luster. A diamond in the rough, although cloudy, easily shines it beauty through, so the cutter and polisher can create a work of art from it. I do hope you do not think I was commenting merely on your outer beauty, though you are so amazing even in that respect. In truth, that was what immediately turned my head to you, but in our conversation, and our missives I have come to realize your inner beauty is as great, or even stronger than what people first see. This, like the rose, makes you stand out above all others, and like gold, will never tarnish or dull, and like the diamond, it truly a priceless work of art to behold.Please though, do not hold me in so high a regard, as one who was commanded to wear the black baldric of error should not be. As Lady Victoria and Lord Gunner can attest, I have made mistakes along the way. If it is your wish, please ask of them the tales about myself, for they do so tell them very well.In parting, know that whenever i brush the soft petals of a rose against my cheek, I shall be reminded of you.
Greetings Most Cherished Lady:
Strange? Oh I think not, for is it strange if you are around those that feel the same way you do? Nay that would then be normal. Isn't it a bit uncanny how much we seem to believe in the same things? Its just that there are so few of us left, and are so far apart, it is very uncommon to run into a kindred spirit. It is not old to have reached a wisdom that often only comes later in life, it shows great introspection. You have reached through thought what most have to learn with life's painful lessons. You know you keep showing me that your compassion is boundless, I hope to be able to live up to your example. It may be a good thing you skipped the dangerous part, I think I made up for both of us and then some. Someday I will tell you the stories of some of the emergencies I have been on. I was known for going to deep to fast, so yes I have been to hells gate more than ounce, and didn't mind the view, LOL. You will not have less in this life because of your dreams and goals, you will be more the rich because of it. I will promise you that, and help you fulfill it if you would like. I agree with you that family, and the happiness thereof, must always come before work, as without a happy family, why would one need to work? I take great pains now to make sure my family, and whoever I invite into it, is happy, indeed, little else matters.
Kind And Dearest Lady:
You have awed me. I can not describe how humbled I am that you have bared your soul to me this way. In all honesty, I feel not worthy of such and honor. I respect you in yet a new way. I find it difficult at best to stand in your aura, my greatest test having been done years ago. The alters I have been lain upon recently, pale in comparison to yours. So many could learn so much from you. I find myself without words, kneeling before you in amazement, a boulder on my chest, and in my throat. I have already felt things with you that I have not felt in years, and I should tell you that I conduct myself no different within or without of the SCA, for my beliefs, feelings, and goals are always a constant. This is not a game for me, but a way to remember. And to you, I will owe you nothing less than complete honesty and openness, as you touched me more deeply this night than I can ever recall.
Most Kind and Cherished Lady:
Following you will find the reply I promised you, although giventhe lateness of the hour, I doubt you will see this until your return. You know I was immediately attracted to your beauty, and hopelesslyadrift in a sea of admiration because of your wit and charm, and that myadmiration for you has increased exponentially since we first met.Instead, you might like to read here about how those first impressionsgave guidance and form to my aspirations for the day. The first time I saw you, you were sitting .................................... My first thought was "here is a Lilly thatsits far above the briers that we all are, I wonder who she calls herlord?" (because I thought it impossible that you could be single. Then Isaw your brother, who I thought was your boyfriend, and thought "luckyfellow, she must be younger than I thought, ....................................", ............. However, I could not stop wondering aboutyou and stealing glances of you. Although I have never, and will neverattempt to become involved with a woman who is in a relationship, I knewI needed to find out more about you. That was when I introduced myselfto you. By the way, ............................... I cant seem toremember spending much time or talking with anyone other than you. With every word we shared, I simply wanted to sit with you and get toknow you better. It was as if I had been parched for years, and you werethe water I needed to survive. I was, and still am, surprised that you seem not to mind my attention,there were many more eligible gentlemen around. Many questions were running through my mind, most of which you havesince answered with ease. I remember hoping that you liked children, andthat you were not afraid of animals. I was glad of the fact that youhave goals set for yourself and that you strive to obtain them. Withevery sentence that delicately floated my direction, I realized I wantedto spend more time with you, but dared not, so as not to overwhelm you.My greatest desire was to ask you and your brother to stay, andvolunteer to take you both home, but what i knew of you already told methat would not have been honorable or wise, and if you would haveagreed, then you may not have been who I was hoping you were.............................................. Ever yours,
Most Cherished Lady:
I have noticed that our relationship seems to have a course of its own planned, and I am delightfully caught up in all of this like the ancient mariner wound in the rigging waiting for the torrent to pass. I am sure you know you have given me more purpose than ever I thought possible. I also can not wait for the Faire so that I may see you again. Incidentally, my children are also looking forward to meeting you for the first time. Surely the dress will look beautiful upon you, for it is not the dress that compliments you, but your beauty that compliments it. Kind Lady, for wont of hearing you but speak again, I would go to any lengths. To hear you sing would be like ascending to heaven. Oddly enough, Saturday I had the idea to start looking for the ideal poem to recite to you. It would seem we have very similar ideas................................. Ever yours,
Most Cherished Lady:
I have been very guarded of my emotions for many years. Because I was a husband and a father, I knew I must love my wife no matter what the circumstances. I held everything she said as the strongest of truths, even though real life told me it could not be possible. I hid from myself all the contradictory evidence so that I could save her when she was in trouble, and thereby gain the self worth that, as a husband, I needed. This time, I have seen the cycle for what it is, and I have broken that ring. Now, things are different. Now, I am told, I wear my heart to much on my sleeve, but is there really such a thing? I am now more than open and honest about things, as I am sure you have seen. My relationships with my family, children, and friends are most definitely the better because of it. I think it may even be this openness that has allowed me to see how much pain I had been in for so long, even though I never knew I was feeling it. I know there are some that may take advantage of my openness, but what of it? They would not disgrace me for being what I am, only bring dishonor upon themselves for showing their true colours. If you wish, you will know everything about me, the good and the bad. I know your soul well enough to know that you would never purposely use this to your advantage. Like you, I can not see the future, but accept what comes, and only effect it in so much as my desires allow it. And yes you are right, there are many more things to be considered between us before a more significant relationship could develop, things pen and ink can not really reveal. The only promise I will ever ask of you is that you be honest and open with yourself, and through that, honest and open with me. I take great pleasure in sharing my thoughts with you, even in this letter I have expressed to myself a more clearer picture of things than I previously knew. Before I said that you were the water I so desperately needed to survive, I think it may be more of you are the ambrosia I need to cure my mortal wounds. I am sure life will still throw me stones from time to time, but that is all part of it. There are still songs I can not hear, and stories I can not tell without the flood gates breaking. But I happily accept this because it makes all of my life that much richer. What comes with us will come, be it from your desires or mine, or even neither of ours, but to know you makes me richer than can be measured by any rod or scale. Ever yours,
Most Cherished Lady:
It occurs to me that my first missive of the evening may have been a bit to curt. I am very prone to taking the reigns of a situation and steering it through to it best conclusion. Part of my training I suppose, the part where I learned to make decisions with no emotional involvement. This is something I am learning to change. I can easily see where you may have felt less important because of the wording I used, and my dealing with that situation first. This was never my intention, but indeed my actions were wrong. Irregardless of outside influences, you had my attention first, and I owed you all of that before I started to deal with the situation at hand. I erred by not telling you first what was going on, and then again by not asking if you would like to help in any way. If you have chanced to read the e-mail I sent ............................ you already know a bit more about it, but the details are these; there are only two Ladies that run the Faire, one of which has been hospitalized with no chance to be out by the time the faire arrives. The other Lady feels that she is incapable of dealing with the whole thing on her own. Is there anything you would like to assist with? Mostly, it will be management issues that need dealt with. However, if you would rather do something else for the day with my children and I, please let me know, as you are the most significant factor in my keeping this faire afloat in the first place. Ever yours,
Most Cherished Lady:
Most everyone knows that the sun and moon rise and set every day and night, but did you know that they may not do so until they have first kissed the beauty of your delicate cheeks? Since you have given me license to question you as I will, I have two more questions (besides the last question about being my Queen). First, do you think our distance apart will have any bearing on our relationship? If we were to ride it by horse, twould be a 7 day journey just to arrive. Second, and of a significantly more delicate nature, how important to you is the compatibility of man and woman in their chambers? I do not ask this of a physical nature, although that is as important, but of the nature of the desire for pleasure. Please, do not answer this last question it you feel uncomfortable in the slightest way. Feeling a bit Pukish this morning, LOL. Ever yours,
Most Cherished Lady:
Nay, surely I am not the first? Hast thou been chaste in a nunnery before we met? (I know you haven't, but it sounded neat). I would like to recite another for you sometime in the future as well. Courtly love was an intricate process that built up expectations for both parties, in the purest sense. And yes you are right, it seems much easier to arrive at the same place between a man and a women the way things are now, but where is the passion in that? The act of love is about so much more than just the physical act itself. People are now more versed in what makes them feel good physically than they used to be, but what of the mental side of it? Is it not as stimulating to be as passionate before a couple enters the chambers, as it is during? That is what courtly love is about, its the continual increasing of the passion and closeness of a couple through actions, deeds and words, to a tumultuous crescendo. Then when the chambers are entered by the pair, well then, that is magic in and of itself. Perhaps that is why so many relationships fail in this day and age. It is much easier to not tackle the mental side of it and be satisfied with only the physical. But I ask you, is that true satisfaction?................................................................... By the way, I loved the way you answered my questions. Oddly enough, I received the e-mail twice, and ounce was enough to make a significant impact on me. It would seem that sometime you and I have some interesting private discussions to consider, here I tease you just a bit, but only a little bit... .............................................................................................................................................. This evening I will leave you with this thought, so perhaps it will make your evening slumber all the better for it. I have never before seen a Lady as lovely as you, both in body and soul. Though we have only written these missives to and fro, I am seeing now that I was sorely mistaken in my devises and thoughts on companionship and love. Indeed, until I met you, I really never knew what it was to drink so deeply of another's being, I have never known how deeply I could be filled until your simple actions gave me to overflow. Ever yours,
Most Cherished Lady:
Oh sweet Lady, could I build for you the world we desire, it would be full of such fancies. Pray thee then thy thoughts of living in a keep? Of sitting at head table in your own hall? Or of sitting in the Lord's and Lady's box upon the tourney field? All it is that attracts me to you is just that, you. As long as you are yourself, I will dolt heavily upon you. I also greatly enjoy your missives. Indeed, it seems that every moment is increasingly given to pleasant thoughts of you. I often think of evening walks with you. You and I strolling leisurely thru the park, arm in arm, your head upon my shoulder. Such is the whim of but one of my fantasies for you. You may never know how grateful I am for your attentions, for I lack the skill to accurately describe it here. Suffice it to say that my evenings, nay, all the hours of a day, are always wrapped in warmth and love when I have heard from you. Ever yours,
Most Cherished Lady:
I would not accept an apologia from you Kind Lady, as there is no need for one. One should only apologize for offenses given, either intentional or not, never for matters of life. Our lives are a journey of learning, up to and beyond the grave. As such we should never regret or lament them, but understand and accept them. Ever yours,
Most Cherished Lady:
Have I yet told you this day how wonderful you are? Since this is my first missive of the day, I have not. Then I must be sadly lacking in my duties. Please forgive me, as I can think of nothing to compare your beauty to, for it is of unequaled measure. Likewise your wit and charm so beguiled me that I can find no equal. Shall I compare the delicacy of your features to a feather from the wing of Pegasus? I think not, as you are truly softer, and of greater strength. Dare I even to think that King Solomon, with his infinite wisdom, would pale in comparison beside you and yours. Theses are but a few of my thoughts for the day, sweet Lady. Ever Yours,
Greetings Delicate Lady:
.......................................................................................... Now to the most difficult of your questions first. I chose my motto some years ago, in reference to my ex wife. It was meant to show my feelings of forgiveness towards her because my love was so great I could ultimately forgive any of her transgressions. However, now after the fact, I have had much time for some serious soul searching and realized some significant factors about the relationship. Primarily that the relationship was a very unhealthy one for everyone involved, as it was very codependent. You see, I actually needed her to make mistakes in the relationship so I could rescue her, and she needed me to rescue her because she often picked physically or mentally abusive guys to have affairs with. As you can see this was not a good situation for either of us. But this is not a mistake I will be making again in the future. I have broken the repetitiveness of that cycle and will never return to it. You may ask why I still use the motto? Well that is a much simpler explanation. Now it says to me that someday love will again fill my life, and will conquer my lonely heart.
Most Cherished Lady:
Well now, I see it may be my turn to let you see a bit more about me, things you probably have already had glimpses of. I am not really sure of all the things I am looking for, but I do know a few, for instance, someone who could care for my children as much as I do, is perhaps at the top of things. Then I would have to say someone who is compassionate, caring, loyal, honest, and open, and with values close to mine. Someone capable, confident and secure in their person, with a worldly knowledge, honor, respect, and dignity. All things I have seen in you, and yes, the swiftness of these thoughts surprised me as well. I do not think it was anything you consciously did, because I don't think it was anything you could have consciously done, because then it would not have been so real to me, if that makes any sense. It has been just by being yourself that I have seen so much in you. I am glad that you are so flattered. I intend to do much more in detailed writing for you as I have much more I want to share with you.
Most Cherished Lady:
Ah Kind Lady, how ever shall I entertain you with this mere black on white? Well then I shall start by answering your questions, and then see what builds from there. My tent will be a blue and white medieval round, most likely set up on top of the hill, not to far from the entrance. During the faire, I will be be making sure there are different fighting activities going on to keep people interested. ..................................................................... At least one time, if not twice, throughout the day, I will do some live steal demos. This I am doing because it is generally very graceful and people like to see it, and also because its a romantic addition to what we do, so I do it for you. .......................Ah, and now the part where I attempt to reassure myself. I am also very much looking forward to meeting your family as well, and will make every effort not to misstep in any way. If you, or they, would like, I can arrange a chaperon, so that we will not be alone at any given time.Now for the entertainment. Hmm, a funny light hearted tale perhaps? If I have already told you this tale, please forgive me for wasting your time.Two years gone now, I was camped with Crystal Mynes at Lillies War. As evenings often go at war, I had consumed enough liquid by about the twelfth evening hour to need a relief. As you may well know, the place to do this is nearly a quarter hour walk away from the encampment. Having made my way, a bit staggeringly, up the hill, and having felt pleasantly relieved, I was met by a train of people heading back down towards the encampment. The first lantern bearer passed, as did many people, singing and shouting all the way, and then the end lantern bearer. As I stood there, the end lantern bearer called out to me "Hail Lord, do I not know thee? Art thou not Lord Kenneth (For then I was know as Kenneth The Dark)?". I answered that I was and he strongly suggested I join them all for they were on their way to a party. So I did. As we were walking towards the encampment, I noticed by the lantern light that there were sundry articles of clothing on the ground along they way. Surprisingly, I thought nothing of it, so engrossed in conversation with the lantern bearer I was. We all were very near the encampment gates, and I noticed Lord Gunner standing there watching me, and laughing very heartily. This I thought a bit odd, but still made nothing of it. Here I chanced to ask the lantern bearer where we were headed and what we would be doing. And he replied "Why Lord Kenneth, do you not know? We are headed to the beach for much merriment and skinny dipping." Much dismayed by this, I thanked him for his company, and turned into the Crystal Mynes encampment, to see Lord Gunner laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.How was that for a trivial entertainment?Ever yours,
Most Cherished Lady:
Would it be cliche to say I have never met anyone like you before? I am sure you hear that often enough, but it is so true. Before you, I had never had hopes of meeting someone with so many things in common with myself. I see something of your subtleties in everything that crosses my path. I can sense your delicateness in the gentle breeze, and the beauty of your voice in the singing of the birds. You truly are a Lady of special merit, and I am blessed to have met you and spent this time in your grace. Let no one ever tell you that you are less, dear Lady, as you are very special to me.Ever Yours,
Most Cherished Lady:
Let me this day praise you in your ability to be truthful and forthright. Your devotion to the truth is as exhilarating as a crisp breeze through the Alps. This, perhaps above all others, puts you in a league far above all others. When I see your forthrightness and openness, I see in you strength greater than the biggest mountain, and deeper than the deepest sea. Many people in this world would live so much better if the would but grace your shadow, for you are the Sun and the Moon that all others should be judged by.Ever Yours,
Most Cherished Lady:
Dear Lady, I can not begin to describe how amazing your compassion is. Last evening meant so much to both of my girls, and because of that, also to me. The house this morning was as if it was a new spring day, and I know I have only you to thank for that. You must know that you will have a very hard time of ever being shed of me now. You continue to surprise me with your unmeasurable kindness and compassion. Never before have I met anyone like you, and I am sure I never will again. I find myself wishing that tonight was not fighter practice, and even considering canceling it just so we may talk with you again this evening. Perhaps everyone will be gone by a reasonable enough hour that I may still find you.Ever Yours,
Most cherished Lady:
This morning I find myself thinking of a missive you sent from a few days ago. As on Weekends I like to lounge in the warmth of my bed until the very last second (usually my girls will come in and we will have a family talk) I remembered your fondness of the same. Take what I am about to say with gentleness, as it is not meant in a "nasty" manner, which I think you know, but want to be sure. I have now the feeling of longing for the closeness of a Lady here with me. It is the early morning cuddling and nuzzling that i miss. The closeness of two in love. Not the act or deed, but the holding and hugging when two first wake up. I hope that you know the contentment I speak of, as I can think of little else this morning. For some reason I woke with these waves of emotion, pure and simple, this morning. I wish to share with you the compassion and caring feelings of my arms around you, my face in the back of your neck, enjoying the scent of your hair and the feeling of it on my face. Thoughts of your soft skin against mine, and the electricity of the movement of each of us against each other as we slowly wake from slumber. These are the thoughts I wish to share with you this morning.Again, please be aware, these are feeling from my heart, not meant to be of a sexual nature. As I know you are aware, I do not feel we should discuss such things yet, except in the broadest of terms. That discussion, or exploration, may yet come at some later date.Ever yours,
Most cherished Lady:
I begin this day with the realization that I am ever more asking you to make a hard decision. This is really something I would never have meant for you to do. If I see at any time that I am causing you stress or pain, then I will immediately discuss this with you. It may well be that we decide this can not be, in which case I promise you I would not broach the issue to you again. This does not mean my feelings for you can be shut down, I am sure they will go on for a long time, simply as a matter of fact. This I could live with, because I would be sure it would be the best for you. Now then, I am very much looking forward to meeting all of your family, and plan to give them the respect and accordance that is due them as relation to such an exquisite Lady. I do wish them to know that I will answer any questions they would like to ask me, honestly and openly, no matter how delicate they may be. I am completely confident in my desire of you, and revel in the telling of my wishes for us to anyone who inquires.I hope that this missive has in some small way put you at ease, or at least helped abate what I think might be a growing concern inside you Dear Lady.I Remain Ever Yours,
Most cherished Lady:
Kind Lady, although I relish the idea of alone time for us, ..................................................... However,.......................... I will make sure we have a hotel room as there will be much celebration after our new Prince and Princess have been selected. But, as I know you are aware, if even the room has no use, it will be fine also, as I will abstain so that you may enjoy the merriment of the evening as you should for your first crown tourney. Incidentally, I have a bottle of mead given me by the King of Trimaris's personal brewer for my displays of honor, and have been looking for a special reason to uncork it. I believe this may be it.Also, if my dalliances with you ever tread areas you wish not to go, please tell me. I hope you always remember your comfort in this is my greatest concern.I Remain Ever Yours,
Most cherished Lady:
With this short missive I want to tell you that I can not pass a day without telling you of your importance to me. You are as the sun upon my face, the wind in my hair, and the comfort of my bed.I miss you.I Remain Ever Yours,
Most cherished Lady:
Just because I know how nice you feel when I tell you how beautiful I think you are, I will say it here. I know of nothing that your beauty can be compared to, as you far outshine anything I have ever seen or known. Perhaps the finite spark of life in all it glory may come close, but still you are even above that by an immeasurable amount. And it is not just your outward beauty I speak of here, but who you are as a person as well. I have never before met such a gentle soul as yours, and I am sure I never will again. These are the thoughts of you that grace my day, and the hope of sharing time with you again soon.I Remain Ever Yours,
Most cherished Lady:
I wondered this morning if perhaps you had never met a man with a will as strong as yours. Perhaps it is just that you have never had someone match you emotionally and physically. Hmmm, I wonder if it is just a bit of taming you are in need of? That puts me in the thought of something Shakespearean. Could it be your youth and need of more worldly knowledge betraying you?I hope you know that I am more than capable of taming you in any way that may be necessary. I have not, until you, met a Lady that could match me in so many areas, but I am confident in my ability to overcome you.Of course you know I am at least half heartedly teasing you, but it would be nice to see your cheeks flush at least one time, and see the fire in your eyes that this missive might for just a second cause. It is, after all, the thought of your passion that consumes me.I Remain Ever Yours,
Most cherished Lady:
I am more and more surprised by our growing emotions for each other. Well ok, that's not entirely true, I am not surprised by mine for you, but I am surprised by the fact that your affection for me also seems to get deeper each time we chat. My thoughts are more and more consumed by fantasies of us walking hand in hand, or arms entwined, or your head on my shoulder, and many others to numerous to go into here. Do you know of how i wish to spend all of eternity with you? Our lives one. Our passion and love unequaled. These are the things that give me purpose in you. That i hope you may also one day know in me.I would love to begin a morning by waking up and seeing your beautiful face laying gently the a pillow beside me. Seeing the contentment, satisfaction, and fulfillment on your face as you slept and knowing I was in some small part responsible for it, would be more than enough to carry me through any day, no matter what the day brought. How may I better sing of your virtues? No way that I know of, but to tell you this that you mean to me.I Remain Ever Yours,
Most cherished Lady:
Most adored Lady. As you may remember, my children and I will be having dinner with my parents Sunday at noon. Almost as soon as i told you that last night, I started thinking how nice it would be if you also were there. Since we are waiting until tomorrow to make a few significant decisions about the fluidity of our relationship, be it friend or attempt for more, I would like to ask you to accompany us to my parent's house Sunday. I do wish to qualify this request thusly;First, It may be that after a day together, we may decide that we have indeed broached the height of our relationship, and if that is the case, this request would be a bit much.Second, even if we do decide to take this to a higher level, you may not feel comfortable with such a request.I know you are often surprised by my level of commitment to you. I have never met anyone like you before, and I know I never will again. So dear Lady, how do I tell you more about my feelings for you and who you are? Alas I am at a lack for words to express this for you. I think I can only show you now. I hold so great a wish for tomorrow, that things go better than the best they can. To have you beside me for our walk through eternity would be a far greater dream than I feel worthy of asking. And yet this is what I seek.I leave you with this, know that I have so much more I want to say to you, and to share with you, but my respect for you is as equally as great, so until the time you desire to know these things of me, I will not burden you with them.I Remain Ever Yours,
Most cherished Lady:
I can not but think how similar your beauty is to this crisp morning. In as much as taking in a breath of chilled air clears the site and enlivens the soul, so do you. In as much as this new day brings freshness and a new edge to the world, so do you. How better can I show you thus?Ever Yours,
Most cherished Lady:
As the fresh rain falls gently upon my face, a feeling so long forgotten, I am reminded of how refreshing your beauty is, and how dear the comforting your friendship is. It seems this day that the long drought here is over, but not because of the rain. It is because I have chanced to meet you.Ever Yours,
Most Wonderful Lady:
So, you would like a erotic letter? Well let me know what you think.When I saw you beside me, all I could do was think about taking you in my arms, drinking in your heady aroma, taking my hands and putting them in your hair, pulling your lips onto mine.And that was just for the moment. I thought of taking you in my arms and carrying you to a place we could be very alone. When we got there, perhaps some dark corner, kissing you on your cheeks, nose, lips, chin and neck. Running my hands up and down your back, pulling your body tightly against mine, feeling the heat of our passion growing between us. I look deeply into your eyes, seeing that you already know what I so greatly desire.With us still dressed, I lift you and you put your legs around my waist, kissing you deeply, tongues dancing and twisting over and around each other, our bodies grinding against each other.you move your hands under my shirt, dragging your nails across my back, as i put my hand up under yours and feel the most beautiful breasts I have ever felt. Massaging them, feeling your nipples grow harder between my fingers, my mouth watering with anticipation..............................
copyright April 2008

Chalice of Equus 2008

In writing this tale of this event day, I hope to give the outside world a small glimpse of an average SCA event, and to hopefully show by example how much fun one can have with a little more involvement from members already in.

Well, for me the event really started the Friday evening before. After a long and tedious day at work (you see I am one of those entrepreneur types that really cant work well for anyone else) I ran by the grocery store to pick up a couple bags of fruit that I had promised to donate to the lunch tavern. For those of you that don't know, an SCA tavern is generally a buffet with items provided by the members of the hosting group. Most taverns are donation, meaning that you make whatever monetary donation you wish, and then take what food you think is fair recompense.

Now, as I was walking around the store, looking for a couple good bags of fruit, I was struck by the contrast between my stark singleness, and the happiness of most all the couples I saw. This feeling is a fairly frequent occurrence of late, so I didn't put much store it, except for acknowledging the ever present tightness in my chest and throat from the sadness of it.

Having made my purchase I loaded the bags in the car and continued on my way home. I live some miles from town, so it gave me time to plan the things I needed to lay out for the event. I was to read some Shakespeare aloud, so i knew I would lay out one of my books with the garb I decided on, my checkbook, and a few other miscellaneous odds and ends.

When I arrived home, and was unloading stuff from the car, I heard the ever alarming hiss of a punctured tire. Looking at my cell, the time was 6:27 on a Friday evening. I had my oldest call Wal-Mart to find out their hours, 7 to 7, weekdays and Saturday. I thought; “great, the only place still open and they close at 7:00, not enough time to mount the spare and get back in town to have the leaking tire patched. Well I do have my daughters car that she is not driving, just a few things to check over and I can use that.”

I was greeted inside the house by my two beautiful and wonderful daughters. Such things as that always make my heart swell with pride and joy when I see my children. When I told my girls how things were going, my teenage daughter reminded me that I had promised her she could go to the movies with her friend that night. I said to her: “Ok sweetheart, we can do this. Since you need to be learning how to take care of the cars you will be driving, we will start now.” So back out the door my two daughters and I went, keys to the car and our small shop in hand. We started checking the tire pressure, all four needed a little, then moved to the fluids. Everything was going good right up to the point where we checked the belts. The main v belt was twisted around on the crank pulley and even though it was fairly new, it was pretty badly worn. I had my oldest start up the engine so I could see if it would just flip back down into the groove, but of course it did not. Oddly enough, this was the same point we saw that the car might not even have enough gas in it to make it to town. So we had one car that had a flat and only the factory donut tire with not enough time to change it, and another that needed some small work, no parts stores open, and maybe not enough gas to make it to town. Quickest bet for at least getting my daughter to town was fixing her car, so I trotted into my shop and grabbed my wrenches. A few minutes later, I had the belt on straight and in all the grooves correctly, my daughter started it again, and the belt stayed where it was supposed to.

My daughters movie was to start at 7:20, so all three of us went back in the house and started eating our supper as quickly as possible. At 7:05 my youngest had to put what was left of her supper in the fridge for later, and out the door we went, fingers crossed, hoping that there was enough gas to make it to the gas station.

We made it to town and pulled into the gas station, my oldest and I got out and walked to the back of the car so I could show her where to put the gas in, and quickly realized I had never put this years sticker on the tag. Oh well, back roads to the theater were we sat and waited for my eldest's friend to show up, who was, of course, late.

While sitting in the theater parking lot, we decided that during the movie, I would go home and find the tag and tax sticker for her car, take the tire off of my car and throw it in the trunk of her car. That way I could get up early Saturday morning and be waiting on the door step when Wal-Mart opened to get the tire patched.

My daughter's friend finally showed up at about 7:35, and off home my youngest and I went. As soon as I let my youngest back in the house so she could finish her supper, I began looking for the tag sticker, which should have been in the glove box of my car. With great anxiety, I realized that the sticker I had purchased way back in October was not there, and my chances of finding it now were pretty damn slim. But then a glimmer of hope, perhaps the console box, and yes, sigh of relief, they were there. Now at least my daughters car would be legal to drive, if only for emergencies, until I could get another new belt at the parts store.

The tire came off of my car easily and I stowed it in her trunk, then went in the house to relax a bit. No sooner had the door closed behind me, than my cell phone chimed with a text. "Kaun, do you have any lanterns?" Answered that one. Ding, another text from someone else. "Kaun, what time will site open?" Answered that one. Ding, Ding, "Thanks." Now a call, "Kaun, can we borrow some feast gear?" And my reply, "Of course, you just have to ask." Ring, another call, "Daddy the show is over are you going to come pick us up?" Now, feeling like a total heel because time gotten away from me, I answered; "Crap sweetie is it already over? I am sorry, we will be right there." Where does the time always seem to go? My youngest and I hop back in the emergency car, now legal, and run back into town and pick up my oldest to bring her home.

Ah, home for the evening. Now I turn to laying out my garb and getting together the things to bring to the event. A quick check of my e-mail reveals a note from Duchess Cadfael. "Lord Kaun... please convey my regrets... that I shall not be in attendance,.... and would you please approach their Majesties early on in the day to let them know it's you and see what their needs are..." Although there was not enough time left in the evening to reply to her e-mail, I decide to do as she bid, because it is always great fun. All things considered, it was a pretty smooth evening, and I managed to get to bed about 11:30 that night.

Growl, groan and moan, 5:30 in the morning comes way to early for a hobby. Dragging myself to the kitchen, I ate some breakfast, then off to the bathroom to shave and shower. By about 6:40, I have given my daughters morning hugs and kisses, and I was out the door and on my way to get the tire patched. By 7:10, Wal-Mart TLE opens up and gets started on my tire. For about the next thirty minutes I wonder around the store, pick up some breath mints, then head back to see if they have my tire done. Almost done anyway. A few minutes later I am on my way home again. Once home, I get the tire put back on my car, everything loaded in my car for the event, and even manage to get dressed in my garb. I give my girls more kisses and hugs and by 8:15 I am on the road to the event in Oswego Kansas.

By 8:40 I am standing at the table trolling in. To troll in means that I am paying my site and evening feast fees, filling out the paperwork and signing my name to whatever waivers may be required. Chatting with Lady Teagen, the event steward, I learn the layout of the site, and the approximate schedule for the event. Fighting and archery were to begin around 9:00 and equestrian was to begin around 10:00.

Leaving troll I decide to go for a walk about and find some of my friends. There was a thin mist falling with chilly but not overly cold temperatures, the sky was a light gray. Looking around the site, very few people had yet ventured from their tents and it was already almost 9:00. Running into many friends here and there, I finally came across Master Alan, the fighter Marshal for the event. A fighter Marshal is the SCA safety officer who's role includes making sure that all fighters armour passes minimum safety standards, and that their abilities with the weapons they use also meet a minimum standard. A fighter Marshal for an event will also set up the tournaments for the event, and authorize new fighters in weapons systems. After some pleasant small talk, Master Alan told me that the fighting had been pushed back to about 10:30ish, or at their Majesties discretion, and that the location for it had changed due to the mist. SCA schedules are often given in a standard time with an "ish" tacked on the end. This “ish” means that the scheduled task may start then, or sometime later, depending on the participants desire.

Since it was just a wee bit chilly, I decided to walk back up to my car to retrieve my cloak, then return back to chat with Master Alan more. Heading back with cloak on, I run across Her Ladyship Aethelthritha setting up for her classes, and inquired if she would like any help. "Why yes Kaun, if you could please help me turn on the lights, I would really appreciate it." So I quickly scampered over the locked show building gate (as the fair board had neglected to give anyone the keys to the padlocks) and locate the two main breaker boxes. I then flipped the breakers on for the lights. Her Ladyship Aethelthritha thanked me, and I set out to find some gates that could be opened so people could get in and out easier. Unfortunately, I only managed to find 3 gates that I could get open.

On my way back around to Master Alan, I came across Lady Rhiannon, who also had no lights in the horse barn, and since I had just seen that breaker in one of the main boxes, I volunteered to get power to the horse barn as well. As soon as I had flipped the main breaker for the horse barn they were turning lights on and plugging in extension cords, so I continued on my journey.

Master Alan was helping to set up the arrow net across the field from the tents, and when I walked up, he asked me to retrieve the rope and stakes from his mini van parked not far away. At this point in the day, the wind was picking up a bit, and the mist was coming down a little heavier, so it was decided to scout a new undercover location for the archery shoot. The group of people helping with the archery had grown a bit to include Master Alan, Master Kazimierz, Master Lief, Lord Gunner and myself. This small group headed to the main building where I had been a short while ago, and located a suitable place for the archery shoot. All having decided on the location, Master Alan turned to me and requested that I retrieve the arrow net and target from across the event site and put it up at the new location. This I did post haste.

Having completed this last task, I was on my way out of the building when I ran across Lady Johanna, who had a favor to ask of me. In the eves of the horse barn was a large exhaust fan, that was now running, and since it was so cool, could I try to figure out how to shut it off. After a little looking I located the breaker box in the opposite eve of the horse barn, and after climbing up and flipping every breaker, finally found the right one and, much to everyones delight, got the fan shut down.

Walking back up the road with Lady Johanna, I ran into Lord Troy, our regional fighter Marshal, who's first words to me were; “Kaun, where is your armour?” And I replied; “Well Troy, its about 30 miles from here.” To which he then said: “Now you know we have had several discussions about this.” And in truth he was right, but I knew I would be relied on heavily for the event that day, plus I had yet to offer my services to their Majesties. Lord Troy just grinned at me and asked where the fighting was to be held and when it was to start. I told him that I would find Master Alan and ask where the fighting was going to be, and since it had been rescheduled to start at 10:30, and it was now near eleven, it would probably start very soon. Fortunately Master Alan was not to far away, and he had decided that the fighting was to take place in the very building where I had been doing so much work. So while he was setting up the list table and dragging out armour, he asked me to set up two nine foot by nine foot squares for the spear tourney, which I heartily did. Sitting happily on the bleachers was Lady Victoria and Lord Gunner, whom I had not seen since Coronation some six days ago. With a flash I remembered that, only a day or two earlier, I had found an amethyst necklace my ex-wife, Lady Angelique, had made for Lady Victoria some three years ago. I told Lady Victoria of the find and asked if she would like to have it. She seemed quite pleased, so I retrieved it from the trunk of my car and happily presented it to Lady Victoria on behalf of Lady Angelique.

Having nothing to do for a brief few minutes, I walked up the road to the bathrooms and took a much needed pit stop. On my way back, Master Alan asked me to get the box of loner arrows and extra bows from his mini van on the other side of the site, as the archery shoot was going to start soon. I jogged there and back, presenting the bows and arrows to Master Kazimierz, who was Marshaling the arrow shoot. Master Kazimierz asked if I would mind heralding the archery shoot for them by going all around site and announcing that it was about to start. Of course I enthusiastically agreed. I walked out to where the fighting and classes were going on and bellowed out my best “o yea o yea” and made the announcement. I did this all over the site, and when I got back up near Troll to make the announcement I noticed Mistress Rigela was setting up for lunch tavern. Suddenly remembering I had not yet given her the bags of fruit I had brought, I quickly made the announcement and went back to my car, got the bags of fruit, and took them back to Mistress Rigela, who was very grateful to have them.

Having not yet completed the task that Duchess Cadfael asked me to, I headed back down to the fighting, knowing that their Majesties would be there to watch. The fighting had not yet started, and their Majesties were not yet upon their thrones, but I did hear familiar voices calling my name. It was Lady Aislin and Lord Herrick, the feast stewards for the evening feast. Lord Herrick and Lady Aislinn had set up several cookers near the archery and fighting area. All through the day fine meats were being cooked, grilled and smoked. The flavorful scents of what was to be an amazing evening feast permeated the site all day, and left many a tongue wagging and mouth watering. I stood and chatted with them for a bit, and another familiar face turned up. This one belonged to Lord Wolfstag of the Border Reiver clan. We all chatted a bit longer, when I noticed his Majesty was now sitting upon his throne and the fighting was about to start. I excused myself from my old friends and made my way to his Majesty. I walked to some little distance away, and bowing, asked his Majesty if I may approach. His Majesty indicated that I could, and still bowing I moved to kneel on the pillow in front of his Majesties throne. I spoke thus: “Your Majesty, I bear news from Duchess Cadfael, shall I give it now, or wait until Her Majesty is also present?" The King inquired; "Is the news for myself alone or for both of us?" To which I answered; "It is for both of your Majesties." The King then said that I should wait until the Queen was also present, then approach again. With his Majesties permission, I bowed and took my leave.

While waiting I was privileged to see a slightly tense moment in the spear tourney. His Lordship Udutai received a resounding buffet to the helm, with his helm actually coming off and landing some few feet away. Shortly after, her Ladyship Dorcas asked me to check and see whether his Lordship Udutai was withdrawing from the tourney or not. His Lordship Udutai said that his chin strap was broken, and he was not able to repair it, so yes he was withdrawing from the tourney.

On my way back to give her Ladyship Dorcas the news, I noticed that Her Majesty was also now on her throne. Again I walked to some little distance from their Majesties, and bowing, asked if I may approach. His Majesty indicated that I could, and still bowing I moved to kneel on the pillow in front of their Majesties thrones. The King said to the Queen; "This is the gentleman that has news from Duchess Cadfael." With that I spoke; "Greetings Your Majesties. Her Excellency Duchess Cadfael wishes me to convey her most heartfelt regrets that she can not be in attendance this day, and that I am to offer you my servitude for the day." Their majesties seemed pleased, and asked if I would mind heralding for them in a short while. I said that I would do what ever they requested of me. With their Majesties leave, I was again bowing to move some distance away when the Queen asked my name. After some little thought, as I was not expecting the question, I replied; "Your Majesty, I have been known by three names, Kenneth, Kaun, or Donatien, most often by Kaun." Grinning, his Majesty said; "There is another name for gentles of many names, that name is Bob." Smiling back, I simply said "As your Majesty wishes."

I moved a few feet from Their Majesties side and stood my post, waiting for anything they should ask of me. It did not take long, as a little while later their Majesties decided that they wished to view the equestrian activities, so off we went. I must say it was quite a good feeling being in an official position for their Majesties for the first time ever. With as much respect and dignity as I could manage, I tried to make sure that the Ladies with us were always ahead of me, and they were immediately behind their Majesties. I had such a large swelling of pride and honor to be allowed to appear last in this very distinguished line. In short order we reached the equestrian field, where their Majesties were a little disappointed by the lack of spectators. His Majesty turned to me and said; "Well it seems we will not be needing your services right now, who shall we call for if we need your services in the near future?" Again, bowing, I replied; "I will answer to whatever Your Majesty wishes to call me, so long as I know that it is myself your Majesty calls upon." With their Majesties leave, I departed their company and made my way back up the site main road for a quick lunch.

At the tavern many fine foods were laid out on several tables. The foods were truly a fine testimonial to the skills of our local shire members. I again ran into Lady Johanna, who informed me it had been decided that I was to be waiting head table at feast that evening. This would be my second time serving head table for a feast, the first was for then Queen, Duchess Cadfael, and since I had so much fun last time, I was glad to do so again.

The weather forecast for the day was to have been a high of 59 degrees, slightly overcast, and only about a 30% chance for rain. It was interesting to note that so far, instead of getting warmer, the temperature had actually dropped. Having parked my car near tavern, I decided to retrieve a hat that Master Alan had made for me some time ago. As I walked to my car, I remembered that I also had a loner tunic in the trunk that a visitor had asked me to return to the shire gold key almost a year ago, so I grabbed that to. Finding Lady Johanna again at lunch tavern, I finally returned the tunic, and apologized for the lateness of its return. While standing there chatting with Lady Johanna, Lord Fredrick came up, with a concerned look on his face, while talking on a cell phone. "Kaun", he said, "can you please give these good gentles directions on how to get here, I think they are lost." With that Fredrick handed me the cell phone and I introduced myself and asked who I was addressing. It turned out to be close friends of mine, Lady Skye, her sister Effy, and Skye's husband Kevin. After a few minutes on the phone I managed to get them straightened out and back on their way to the event.

Taking a goodly sampling of the foods from tavern, I ate and chatted with new friends. After a few minutes, Effy happily found me, and asked what was going on where at the event. We discussed things, and then decided to walk back down and watch the spear tourney for a while. Effy and I set in the bleachers, pointing out fighters we new and enjoying many fine displays of gallantry and excellent technique.

A short while later, Lady Skye and Kevin joined us as we watched the fighters in a bear pit fight. A bear pit is when the fighters all stand in a circle, one of them takes the center, and then fights with every fighter around the circle one at a time. After the fighter in the center has fought with every fighter, one other takes his place in the center, and the fight continues until every fighter in the circle has been in the center, or until everyone is exhausted. There was some good fighting to watch, and it was also interesting to listen to all the fighters discuss techniques and shots after words. Lady Skye is an avid equestrian, and even though she was very under the weather, she at least wanted to watch the equestrian activities a little. We all walked up to the equestrian area, and sat in the bleachers to watch for a bit. I was impressed to see that Her Majesty was still riding, and all were doing well at the contests. Since the tavern was just across from the equestrian area, Effy and I decided to visit it again and pick up some nibbleys to tide us over until feast. We piked up a few things and headed back down to the fighting area.

By about 3:30 in the afternoon the fighting, equestrian, and archery were pretty much all done and Lady Skye and Kevin had rejoined us at the fighting area. Given that Lady Skye was not doing well, we all agreed it was time for them all to go home. We exchanged our parting farewells, and home they went.

Lady Johanna happened to be walking by so I caught her up and asked if the main building for the feast had been opened up yet, and what the schedule was for court and feast. She said that the fair board inspector was to be there by 5:30, and we would have it from there. Lady Johanna also asked if I would see when feast cooking would be ready, and coordinate the timing of the feast with their Majesties wishes for court. I sought out Lord Herrick, and he assured me that feast would be done cooking promptly at 7:00. I then found Baroness Dejaniera, and she said that their Majesties court would run from 30 to 45 minutes, and that they would like to have court set up in the same room as feast, but separate from it, perhaps by dividing the room in half. Then, discussing all this with Lady Johanna, we realized that we would not actually have the building open until almost 6:00, so that gave us only about 15 minutes to set everything up for court and feast. I knew that with only 15 minutes to set everything up, I would need some strong backs and hard workers, so I sought out Lars and Adam. I told them that they needed to be at the feast building promptly at 6:00, and ready to "bust ass" as we only had a few minutes to get it all set up and ready to go. Both kind gentlemen warily agreed, so the crew was set.
For the next couple hours, everyone milled around chatting with old and new friends, listening to funny and thrilling stories of the day and times past. At about 5:45, I started to make my way up to the feast building with Lars and Adam close behind. Shortly before 6:00 Lady Johanna opened up the feast building, and with the help of many fine gentles, we had the court and feast areas ready to go by about 6:10. I was well pleased by the help and collaboration of all involved, it could not have run more smoothly. Lady Johanna told me that Lord Herrick was in need of a couple strong backs to transport his cookers from down by the fighting area up to the feast hall as quickly as possible. I turned to Lars and Adam and suggested that this was an ideal task for them. Adam handed me the leash to their dog Princess, and off they ran.

A few moments later Baroness Dejaniera found me and asked if anyone was going to announce around the site that court was about to begin. I said not to worry, that I would do it right away, and started out the door with Princess pulling me a bit faster than I had originally intended. I made it about half way down the road to the fighting area when I ran into Lord Fredrick. He volunteered to take over the announcing so I could return to the feast hall. Entering the building I was surprised to see almost everyone of the chairs for court already filled, so, with Princess in tow, I grabbed out a few more. After setting up another eight or nine, I decided it was time to sit down and relax a bit. It felt really, really good to set in a soft chair for a few moments. Master Alan was acting as herald for their Majesties court, and he announced that we should all now stand and make way for their most royal Majesties of Calontir. The acoustics of the hall were really quite good, so it was very easy to hear every word Master Alan deeply brought forth.

It was a short processional, with their Majesties, a couple guards, herald and an attendant marching towards the thrones. After their Majesties were seated upon their thrones, we were all bid to take our ease and court started with announcements and calling forth for award presentations. Now generally in court, it is fairly difficult to hear the words of the Monarchs to those receiving the awards. Not so for this court, even sitting in the very last row as I was, each word spoken by our great King and Queen could be easily heard even above the small talk that so often accompanies court. The presentations were made for the tourney winners of the event, and a few awards were made. I must confess that to this point I was only marginally paying attention, as I was taking full advantage of being bale to just sit still and do nothing for a bit, as I knew waiting head table, I would not get a chance to sit down again for the next few hours.

So when Master Allan let fall a very long pause, my ears perked up and the entire hall fell silent, as if we had all just felt the dramatic stillness before a huge deadly battle. Then, when he was sure he had every ones attention, with a deeper and louder voice than I have ever heard Master Alan use before, he said "Their Majesties command to come into their presence, " and here another long pause for dramatic effect, then with a loud, grinning sneer, "Lord Bob." I would swear at that exact same moment I heard everyone inhale sharply with surprise, and I thought "oh surely not." I waited for a few moments to see if anyone would stand up, but when no one did, I knew it was myself that had been called upon. I stood, and with all the honor and humility I could muster, and approached the thrones. Again I knelt upon the pillow before her Majesties throne, and the King stated; "Earlier in the day, we asked your name. You gave us three. Then when we asked how we should call you, you said that you would answer to whatever we wished to call you. We have chosen Bob." I replied; "If it pleases your Majesties, I am greatly happy with that." Then the Queen spoke; "It has come to our attention that for many years you have helped and trained people both inside and outside your shire with armour and leather work, and many other things. For your efforts we award you this." The Queen then stood with a necklace in hand, and Master Alan read aloud from the scroll; "Files and Tongs, Crucibles, and Hammers,......and so this 29th day of March....in our shire of Bois d' Arc did Isabeau, gracious inspiration for Anton, King proven in battle, make Kaun Steinraudarson a member of the order of the Leather Mallet......." When master Alan had finished reading, the Queen placed the necklace with the symbol of the leather mallet around my neck and handed me the scroll. Being shocked and humbled beyond words, I thanked their majesties, bowed and returned to my seat. As I walked to my seat several gentles said "Way to go,,, Lord BOB!" There I sat, mostly stunned and trying to recover, until Master Alan announced; "There being no further business, this concludes the court of their Majesties of Calontir." We all stood and bowed as the Royal procession passed by, and Master Alan shouted; "Long live the King!" And we all echoed it, then "Long live the Queen!" and again we all echoed this. And at last he said "Long live the sovereign lands of Calontir!" to which we all shouted in unison; "Calontir!"

When their Majesties had retired, I announced; “Would all those staying for feast please take your chairs to your tables, and could all the servers please meet me in the kitchen.” In short order it was decided that I would wait head table, and the retinue table, Lord Fredrick would announce the removes and fill in as needed, Lady Miriam would take two tables, and the other servers would get one table each. There were four removes to the feast. A remove is basically a regular meal course. The first remove was fruit, hard boiled eggs, cheese, and breads. The second was breads, butters, smoked sausages, and venison stew. The third remove was garlic infused chicken on a bed of wild rices. And the fourth remove was rum balls, sweet lemon nut and sweet blueberry nut breads. All of the cooking was done by Lord Herrick and Lady Aislinn's family, and was truly exquisite. Adam had made quite a bit of mead and gave one bottle to every table. Lord Herrick had even managed to spirit away a bottle of maple whiskey from far northern lands beyond our Kingdom, and made a gift of four glasses of it to the head table. There was much merry making and revelry throughout the hall, and it was not long before mini food launching cross bows came out. Bread balls and bottle corks were flying between tables with great crossing arcs.

After the last remove had been served, their majesties called forth all the serving and kitchen staff so all present could thank them for an amazing meal. Shortly after, his Lordship Udutai volunteered to wash feast dishes for everyone, which I announced, and a long line quickly formed. Interestingly, sometime during feast, the wind had died down and the temperature had increased to a much higher degree than it had attained all day, even though the sun was long since down. Slowly people started filing out of the hall, saying their good byes and heading home, or heading off to a nearby fire lit post revel. A few stayed with the kitchen crew to help us clean up and put the hall back in order. There was a little singing, much cleaning, and a great deal of food left in the hall. I suggested to his Majesty, who was on his way to the post revel, that perhaps it would be a good idea to set up a table at the revel and take the remaining food there for everyone to continue enjoying. He thought it was a very good idea.

I drafted one of Lady Johanna's sons and we began hauling a picnic table down the long road all the way around to the revel site. After several stops to rest, we finally made it. At the revel I requested addition help from Lord Fredrick and Lars to carry back the platters of food. Between all four of us, we managed to get all the food down to the revel site in only four trips. Having carried the last platter of food down to the revel, I stood there watching the hypnotic sway of the belly dancers hips as the dumbecks set the primal rhythm. When the dancing was done, I sat down to join the singing at the circle around the fire, and was plied with mead from more than one person. Knowing that I had a trip home to make yet, as I was very much missing my daughters, I only very lightly partook of the mead, but very heartily enjoyed much of the remaining foods.

Everywhere one looked there was smiling, laughing, and singing. Truly it is impossible to feel the closeness and camaraderie of a Kingdom as great as ours, unless one has been a part of it. The stories told inspired each listener to greater heroism and honor. The songs that were sung pull at the strings of your heart, as we relived the finest examples of love, courtship, and battle.

Alas, as with all good things, this to had to end. Late in the evening, I said my goodbyes, and started my journey back home. For the entire long drive home, I could not help but feel the warmth and contentment in my heart for such a wonderful day, and for so many new friends, and the companionship of many old ones. I arrived home around 1:30 in the morning, quietly went into my oldest daughters bedroom, gave her a hug and kiss and told her daddy missed her, then did the same for my youngest. A few moments later I was out of my garb, and snuggled down into my own warm bed, drifting off to sleep with thoughts of the pleasant contentment of the day lazily drifting through my deepening slumber.


copyright April 2008
Lone Man At Arms
The late night darkness barely concealed the wide open yard before me, dead brown grass scattered sparsely upon it. Alone in a yard was a gray stone obelisk that stood just over shoulder high. It had been there so long it was mostly covered by green and purple lichens.Off in the distance a crack of lightning shot across the horizon, and a low roll of thunder was heard. Slowly a cold breeze cut through the sleeves of my chain hauberk. I gazed sadly at the cross upon the obelisk and walked slowly towards it as though my sabatons were filled with the weight of ages.Barely a swords length from it, I stop and fall to my knees before it, the dirty white of my sir coat becoming even more spattered with the mud surrounding this ancient sacred place.Slowly my arms come up, my hands grasping each other tightly, until my thumbs are against my forehead.In my heart I feel such a vast emptiness that even the cold loneliness of this place can not be its equal. I kneel penitent before this monument, tears beginning to rise in the corners of my eyes, the silence of the place now swallowing me so completely that not even the wind in the dead trees can break its grip.Speaking, I hear the words as if they are not even my own, feeling as though there are great stones in my throat grinding over each other."Savior, I am lost on this quest. Long have I sought that which I swore an oath to find. Many have been the roads I have followed, hundreds are the fights I have fought. Never have I found the grail. In truth, I have seen it only fleetingly, to far to grasp, and indeed each time my heart sinks deeper with woe. Though I shall never quite this quest, I know not the next path to follow. Thank you for teaching me the humbleness and humility of humanity, I have learned much from you teachings of late. Now, my savior, I ask only this favor before I mount and retire from here. Please guide the next step of my palfrey’s hoof so that I may know the path to follow.I am ever your servant in this quest, and will continue until I have completed it, or darkness takes me."As I rise and turn towards my beautiful trust worthy mount, I see even the sadness of this place reflected in her eyes. I slowly put a foot in a stirrup, swing a leg over, and settle heavily into the saddle. Petting her on the neck, I encourage her to start our journey, without taking the rains ever in my hands.Our path is chosen, our journey set, may we see its completion with honor and glory.
Inspired
I was inspired to wright this for a Lady I know and admire, for she is a great deal stronger than I in the convictions and choices of her life, and her unwaivering fealty to those choices.
The Hug
When we hugged in the past, we could tell it was as friends. The differences now are small in physical nature, but mountainous in our expression of feeling for each other. Like when we used to hug I would not notice the sent of your hair and how goddess like it is, as I do now and how I can close my eyes for hours after and still have that increasable sent with me, or how soft it felt on my cheek, and how I can think of nothing in the world I have ever felt before that is as soft and silky. Now I turn my head towards you with my chin on the nape of your neck. Now I can feel the warmth radiating from your face to mine.When I hugged you before, my arms stayed just under yours, high around your back. Now they move lower, towards the small of your back, pulling you tighter to me than ever before. And when your arms pull me closer than ever before, so close it seems you are crushing your chest onto mine, that is an exquisite feeling. I love being able to feel every breath you take as we stand there crushing into each other. I love the way that void between your breasts seems to fill with an electric desire for me as we try to pull each other into ourselves.Now more of our bodies touch in our hugs. Now I feel everything, your stomach on mine, your hips against mine, your thighs against mine, even our knees and feet side by side. Now when my eyes are closed and we hug like this with so much more of our bodies touching, it is like we are becoming one in a great sea of warm velvet, perfectly silent with only you and I existing there.Our hugs now are only seconds longer than before, but they feel never ending. When I stand there holding you against me, time itself seems to stop, and I live an eternity in that moment. In that moment I want to take the time to know every hair on your body, every atom of your being.But then in to short a time we must stop, and when still hugging we lean our heads back and look into each others eyes, I see in yours the same desires and needs that I know you see in mine, that is the most amazing feeling of romantic love I have ever known.
For the Lady I seek
I had this thought this morning, and thought I would try to put it in a medieval setting.This story is for the chalice I seek. For the lady who embodies the love and compassion I quest for.I know of a beautiful stream, with a gentle waterfall. Its meandering course is always sunlit, so the waters at the fall are warm and refreshing. For many years the falls have been carving out the soft sandstone so that the walls are smooth and shining. Here is where I sometimes relax and bathe under the falls.This is one of those times. I am standing, feeling the warmth of the water flow over me, with my eyes closed. Then I hear it, the soft footsteps of my Lady, so gentle, so delicate, and so quiet. I turn and see you fully unclothed, as I am, stepping in to the water with me. I put my hand out and you reach for it, the warmth of that small touch overwhelming with its passion. Pulling you towards me, I hug you, holding my head close to your ear, drinking in the sent of your hair. Wrapping my arms around you I feel the rise and fall of your bosom against my chest as you breath deeply and the friction between our bodies begins to rise. I pull my head back and look deeply into your eyes, knowing your need for me is a great as mine for you. Kissing you then, feeling the fire of our desire, tongues thrusting back and forth, breath hot and wet, shared as one.Your arms around my neck, you look into my eyes, asking without a word, for that which I freely give only to you. I lift you just a bit, and place you so your back is against the smooth rock wall, feeling one of your legs slowly rise up around me. Then as I hold you there, suspended only by me, I feel your legs both around my waits, pulling our bodies even closer together. Your arms around my neck with your nails digging into my back.Our motions and bodies become perfectly intertwined as we strain to become only one, knowing only the single burning blaze of our combined spirit.Here at this point, we know we are truly one, for ever and always, our love perfect and unmatchable in passion and contentment.Here I will stop, as the rest of the story should only be known between my Lady love and myself.
Cloven Orange SCA style
This I wrote in reply to a cloven orange (an orange with clove buds placed decoratively in it) that was offered to me: Greetings Dear Lady:Of course I would accept such a wonderfully presented fruit. I lean in closely to drink deeply from the sent of your uplifted fruit, taking both of may hands and wrapping them gently around yours to pull you closer to me. At the top I see a bud of clove that seems to be straining for my attentions, so I slowly circle my tongue around it, delicately working it loose from its place of passion. As I pull the clove past my lips to catch it between my teeth, I catch a single sweet drop of juice from the fruit on my tongue. Shall I leave the succulent fruit in your hand to be offered to another? Or shall I take it, and offer it back to you, and watch your cheeks flush with anticipation of more to come?Just in case anyone thought I am not romantic enough.
Story of a fight long ago
New Comers Symposium July, 2004The tourney was late in the day, it was hot and humid. Several of us, being already limbered up and stoked from the combat class, were ready to play. Basil and i spared for a bit, and let me say, if you have never fought a left handed fighter with the speed of a cheetah, you should give it a try. As the King and many Dukes and Knights donned their armour, my thoughts again turned to being outclassed. LOL. But as they took our names, and his Majesty himself set up the opponent list for the warlords tourney, I became relaxed as I knew my fate. Low and behold, the first first two contestants were......(can anyone guess)....(remember the king set up the list)....... His Majesty and Lord Kenneth! As I took the field, it was announced that all chivalry would fight only single sword in the first round. This I thought (and still do) was an unfair advantage, so I asked the king if he would like a shield, to which he replied no, and told me that I would not give mine up either. But what was more surprising than that was the simultaneous double kill seconds into the match. We both got up and continued. The king is very good even without a shield. The sparing went thus, there were several blows from the King, all solid but deflected, and about half as many from myself, all either deflected, or missed the target when the King was no longer where I swung. Then the King at last threw one missed shot, and I planted my sword on his left cheek. Believe it or not, I finally overcame. Of this five round tourney, my team, including the King and several other fighters of great renown, won the second round, and were well on to winning the third also, when catastrophe struck. Our opponents where Killian, Valens, Medium Rory, and one or two others who I cannot remember (sorry). There team used two ploearms and three sword and shield, So I called that our team be split, one rouge fighter, myself and one other good Sir to cover our pole and engage and eliminate the other teams two, and the King to engage and eliminate Valens. This was all well and good, except that nothing ever really goes as planned in battle. We did eliminate both of their poles, then I became separated from my team. All of their sword and shields went after the King, so the rouge ran to give himsupport. This was the same second I saw Valens break off and head for the rearof my team's pole. As they were engaged I hastened to give support, although both pole and sword and shield were dispatched by Valens as I closed. As he turned to engage me, I planted a fairly solid blow on the side of his helm, but as often happens in battle, it was not quite solid enough, or perhaps slightly deflected, so the field of running and fighting began for myself and Valens. Many Many good blows where exchanged between both of us, some deflected or skipping, some not. As I planted for what would be our last exchange, I saw a very good swing headed for my left leg, which as you all know, is my weak spot. Now, I do not know what happened next, or indeed if I was even ever killed. All I know is that suddenly I was laying on the ground, my field of veiw being half green grass and the other half blue sky. I thought I had just tripped, looked around and saw that the King was legged, with my rouge fighter directly behind him giving him all the support he could, and Valens closing fast. Knowing they were in dire need of aid, I tried to stand to go to them, and quickly realized why I was on the ground. Apparently the hit had made contact. As my leg could now no longer support me. There are some really interesting ways a knee can bend that its not supposed to, none of which I ever wanted to feel. So to make this now overly long story short, I did not get to see the rest of the fighting, orevening court, as I was in the hospital. I will say that I was truly amazed bythe number of people that came to give support for me on the field. It is trulya testament to the goodness in the hearts of all in our Kingdom, to see (and beon the receiving end) of the mass of people that gathered around to help an injured person, and see that he got everything he needed. Indeed there where many more than I knew the names of. The Doctor said that my tib, fib and femur were fractured, and that acl was torn.
Strength in the Night
I was standing out side this evening, in the dark, and the lite freezing rain. Reflecting on how the low clouds and impenetrable silence of the dark made it seem as if I was standing in the middle of a great cathedral hall, made by God in nature. The cold rain fell slowly and steadily on my face, the chill of each drop hitting me like tiny boulders hurled by hundreds of miniature trebuchet hidden in the purple black of the night.Then, just beyond the front wall of the forest, I heard it, the unmistakable crack and thunder of a mighty tree succumbing to the weight of the ice and rain.From the crashing sound of thousands of branches twisting and shattering upon being bashed into the ground from their former lofty height, it seemed the entire tree must have split twain.And I thought, here was a mighty tree, what life it must have led, what adventures it must have endured at the hands of its master weather, to have fought year upon year upon year and reached this height of honor and strength, and then die this night in such a valiant struggle, surrounded by all it has ever known, and all the friends it has ever had.This, this is what life should be. To be the best for ourselves and those around us, to give shade and succor to those who seek us out, to shield our young ones against any harm until they can stand on their own, and then to match our last fight with the absolute best we are, and proudly know we have fulfilled the tasks we were put here for.And in that last fight, if we can give someone unknown to us that inspiration to see what I saw this night, then we have indeed led the lives of Kings.Thank you tree, I will weep for the loss of you, and be a better man for the sharing of your last few moments here.
My History In The SCA
I started in the SCA in February 2000, prior to that I had been to a couple of demos, and a renn faire or two, thanks to my parents. Made my first helm at about the age of 14. Received my Award of Arms at the last Kingdom CalonCon ever, in my shire of Bois d' Arc on November 9th, A.S. XXXVII (2002), given to me by King Chrystofer III Rex and Queen Margarette Regina. Received my Order of Torse at Seal Wars in the Shire of Spinning Winds, on October 25th, A.S. XXXVIII (2003) given me by King Joe Angus and Queen Phaedra. I have attended 3 Lilies wars. My name (Kaun Steinrøðarson) and device (Purpure, a Latin cross throughout and in chief two unicorn's heads erased respectant argent) were registered in March 2004. I was a warranted knight marshal for the Shire of Bois d' Arc for 7 years, and authorized in all weapons styles except 9 foot spear and pole arm. I was also Seneschal and Webmaster of our local group since August 2003 to the end of 2006, (Seneschal given to Lady Johanna August 2006) have been event steward for 4 Kingdom events (2 March Warden Tournaments and 2 Chalice of Equus Tournament), Marshal in Charge for 3 others, and assisted marshaling at several others. For the Bridgewater Renaissance Fair in 2004, 2005, and 2006, I was in charge of organizing, setting up, and supervising the SCA encampments on top of the hill, and the armoured combat during the dinner feasts, almost a full third of the fair for those years.I have taught Fencing (Foil) privately, and for a short time at a local community college, although this was some years ago. I am also involved in live steel demos.When participating in combat I have a 3/4 suit of plate armour that I wear, and when not, my garb is usually late period.My persona is loosely based on an individual of Viking decent from about 1250, coast of France (Normandy), the section given to the Viking raiders to protect against other Viking raiders. Participated in one crusade, I am sure this will be fleshed out a bit more in the future.At Kris Kinder of 2005, I made a small error of judgment, i.e. the following:"Greetings Your Most Gracious Majesties:I write you this day to redress a wrong I myself laid at the feet of Her Majesty of Northshield. A wrong perhaps perceived by few others, but a wrong never the less. As I set in Kris Kinder Court some days ago, I was immediately lost in a wave more powerful than those of the ocean that have shaped the cliffs of Normandy since time began. As Her Majesty of Northshield took her place beside you, I was overcome with her beauty, grace, and elegance. Nothing wrong with this, I am sure you say, but it was not until afterwords that I allowed my heart to overcome my knowledge. As Her Majesty of Northshield passed the group I was with, I became of the mind to catch her up and tell her so, right there in the hallway. This is indeed what I did, and this is where the injustice lies. First and foremost, I did not make my intentions known and ask permission to do so from Your Majesties of Calontir. As our most exalted Queen may remember, a few Winter War Maneuvers ago, when she was hard pressed by a few poleman, I gave my assistance. After which she inquired the reason I stepped in, as to whether it was her stature, to which I immediately replied no, or if I had noticed the spurs she wore, to which I also said no, or whether it was because she was a lady, to which I replied, yes, but only equally because she looked outnumbered, and I would have done the same for any lady. This is evidence enough of my inability to follow my head instead of my heart when Ladies are involved. Second, and perhaps a greater grievance, I did not also ask the permission of His Majesty of Northshield to speak thusly to his Queen. On all these counts I am guilty, and gladly submit myself to any disciplines Your Majesties may feel necessary. Perhaps Your Majesties will feel this letter is, in and of itself, atonement enough. But if not, I will be in attendance at the upcoming Queens Prize in the Shire of Crystal Mynes, and if you wish it, submit to your judgments then.Humbly,"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxTo which was replied:"Greetings to Lord Kaun Steinrøðarson from Kitadate-tenno, Sovereign of the Kingdom of Northshield,Atonement has no meaning unless it is both appropriate to the transgression,and teaches the transgressor to not commit such in the future.Therefore, We shall pronounce this to be your doom.Until such time as you are in the presence of Our Noble Cousins, Martino andAriel, Dread Sovereigns of the Falcon Throne of Calontir, at each festivalof our Society which you attend, you shall be charged to do the following:Item: You shall wear black prominently upon your person, to mark you as onewho has made an error, has confessed such, and seeks forgiveness andenlightenment. By doing so, you publicly announce your error.Item: You shall not speak to any Lady, save your own, should you have such,unless such Lady first speak to you. By doing so, you remain courteous,without the ability to indulge in the same transgression.Item: Your conversation with any such Lady shall be entirely limited totopics on which she discourses first. By doing so, again, you remaincourteous, but cannot divert the conversation in such a manner as affectsthe Ladies negatively.Upon your next meeting Their Majesties, may Their reign be long and fruitfulfor Them and Their People, you shall attest to them that you have faithfullyfollowed the previous items, or not, whichever you have done. If you haveexecuted these faithfully, then may your Sovereigns find the forgiveness youcrave, and may you have learned to be better then that you are now.I remainKitadate-tenno"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAnd I sent this missive back:"Greetings Your Majesty:I thank you for this chance to study and increase my courtesy, honor, and humility. I shall, without fail, proudly preform every item Your Majesty listed, to the fullest extent possible. I look forward to the day that I can, with leave of Their Majesties of Calontir, personally thank Your Majesty for the honor and teaching bestowed upon me.Humbly,"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAnd then after Queens Prize of 2006 I sent:"Greetings Your Most Exalted Majesties:Having been an ardent student of your pronouncement upon me in regards to my transgression, I would like to offer you this account of my conduct since my last missive. First, in observance of your pronouncement, I have made and wore a black baldric not only to our Queens Prize event, but also to every Shire meeting, fighter practice, dance practice, and workday I have attended. In addition to this, I have recounted the tail, with every item Your Majesty of Northshield listed, to everyone who inquired, and to several, more than once. I have not spoken to any Lady unless first addressed, both in the SCA and in Modern-Era. When addressed by any Lady, or indeed anyone for that matter, I have treated every person with the utmost in courtesy and respect, and diligently continue to do so, as it feels the right and good thing to do. If Your Majesty of Northshield is pleased by the perseverance I have put forth, I will seek an audience with Their Majesties of Calontir at Coronation this March. However, I shall only seek this audience to remove the black baldric, as I believe that the items of; not speaking to a Lady until first spoken to, and limiting the conversation topics to an honorable nature, are excellent tools with which to increase my awareness of courtesy and respect.Thank you for your guidance in this matter."xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAnd his Majesty of Northshield replied:"Greetings to Lord Kaun Steinrøðarson from Kitadate-tenno, Sovereign of the Kingdom of Northshield,We hear your words, and are pleased that you have followed this path.Please seek your Sovereigns to relieve you of the burden of your baldric.If it happens that you attend that gathering hight Lilies this year, pleasepresent yourself to me if you find the time to do so.Kitadate-tenno"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxI then sent to Their Majesties of Calontir:"Greetings Your Most Royal Majesties and Exalted Chamberlain:I am writing you this day to request a meeting with Your Majesties of Calontir on the morning of the March coronation. As Your Majesties may be aware, I handled myself in a slightly dishonorable fashion in a conversation with Her Majesty of Northshield. With His Majesty of Northshield's guidance in this issue, I have increased my knowledge of honor and personal conduct to the point that His Majesty of Northshield has given me leave to ask for this meeting with Your Majesties of Calontir. At this meeting I will request of Your Majesties of Calontir that I be allowed to remove my black baldric, as wearing it was one of the items listed by His Majesty of Northshield.I humbly await your reply.Thank You,"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAnd Their Majesties replied:"Lord KaunWe would be happy to meet with you at some point in time, but the morning of coronation is not possible. We are trying to hold tightly to a schedule so Their Highnesses can have a full day to work with. We were hoping to have met you at Queen's Prize, but apparently our paths did not cross.We will be happy to meet with you after the coronation court, or if you feel it is important to speak with the sitting Crown, perhaps Their Highnesses will have time.Please let us know your preference on whom you wish to deal, and we will plan accordingly.Thank you,Martino & Ariel"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxGreetings Your Majesty:"First, my most heartfelt thanks for your rapid reply. And second, I offer my most sincerest apologies for not meeting with you at Queen's Prize. I was indeed there (one of the Shire of Bois d' Arc Dancers, the one in green and yellow shire colours with the black baldric) but felt that my own desire to discuss the issue with Your Majesties was not nearly as significant as the important burdens placed on Your Majesties by your offices that day. I thought it the wiser part of discretion to wait for another day. Here also, I feel discretion to be the wiser course, and will ask Your Majesties guidance in this matter of a meeting. I do feel that the issue would have greater importance to the Crown during whose reign it was committed, rather than that which may then be sitting. I will gladly accept Your Majesties suggestion as to who I should seek the meeting with, and when it should be.Humbly,"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxTo which was replied:"Lord Kaun,It makes sense for us to meet with you. Martino & I will be happy to meet with you after coronation court. Please come and find us so we may find a place to sit and talk.Thanks,Ariel"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxI sent back:"Greetings Your Majesty:It will be done as you have said.Thank you very much for your guidance."xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAnd for a tourney at the above Coronation: "A Coronation Passage of Arms Unto all those who profess a love of the arts of arms and the advancement of the ideals of Chivalry, are sent these words from Vaclav Semjaka, Prince of Calontir and Heir to Falcon Crown. As was the manner of our ancestors, We seek to advance the cause of Chivalry, and by Action of Arms to demonstrate Our Faithfulness and Love, both for Our fairest Lady, her Highness Xorazne, and truly for all the people of Calontir. To that end, and to ennoble by this great exercise all those who would answer this declaration, We declare and issue the following Challenge: On the 25th day of March, after that hour in which We ascend the Calon Throne, a Passage of Arms shall be held to advance Our most noble causes. We hereby challenge and charge all who would answer to assemble on Our tournament fields, accoutered in the usual way, but with exceptional splendor and heraldic panoply. We will then, upon the field of honor, become known to one another through words, that we might soon be better acquainted by the sword, in the manner of the Grand Tournaments of old. Know that all combat is to be contested solely for honor and renown, rather than for the base spirit of victory, and with weapons of peace, using only those which were used in Tournament by Our glorious ancestors. Further, as is truly fitting, reward and renown will be bestowed for those excelling upon the field by their appearance, by their manner, and through great feats of arms. We beseech all who hear these words to never imagine that We do this thing from pride or presumption, but for the Honor of Our lady, for the Love of Our people, and for the Glories of Chivalry. Vaclac Semjaka, Prince and HeirGood Knights, noble Lords, and gracious Ladies, the Challenge has been issued, and the Tournament is being prepared. Ready your harness and your fairest tournament raiment Call forth your households and arrange for the journey, leaving behind only those necessary to ensure the safety and well being of your estates. Such preux Tenans and Venans will be assembled as have rarely gathered before. And when they take up arms for Our noble causes, such glorious deeds may never again be seen from this day till the ending of the world. And when years from now, our children and grandchildren speak of this day, take care that you too can say, "I remember!"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxI sent:"Greetings Unto His Most Royal Highness, Vaclav Semjaka, Prince of Calontir and Heir to Falcon Crown: I, Lord Kaun Steinrøðarson, of the Shire of Bois d' Arc, in the Great Kingdom of Calontir, write you this day to make it known that I accept Your Highness's challenge to stand Venans and assemble on Your Highness's tournament fields. I shall do my best, both on and off the field, to display honor and courtesy to every person I meet, no matter their station or skill at arms.I shall be known by my arms, Purpure, a Latin cross throughout and in chief two unicorn's heads erased respectant argent, also by my accomplishments, Award of Arms, and Order of Torse, and by my offices, Seneschal, Knight Marshal, and Webmaster for the Shire of Bois d' Arc.For the honor of those who know me, I do most humbly and expectantly look forward to this splendid tournament on the grand day of Your Highness's coronation. In The Service Of Honor,Amor vincit omnia,Lord Kaun Steinrøðarson (Kenneth The Dark), AoA, CT,Seneschal Shire of Bois d' Arc,Kingdom of Calontir(Kenneth Steenrod)"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxTo which was replied:"Good and gentle Lord Kaun: Thank you for your missive. I am delighted to learn that you will be participating in what should be an excellent day of Chivalry and Honor. Best wishes to you upon the field! Semjaka"xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I am known by the names Kaun, Kaun Steinrøðarson, Kenneth The Dark, Kenneth, or Donatien, depending on who happens to be doing the shouting at the time, lol. More to come I am sure.
Things I Miss
Greetings All:I had a thought this evening, and wanted to get it down before it fell into adark, barely accessed region of my memory.I miss having someone to share the smiles and laughter and love of my childrenwith.I miss the warm, soft feeling of a Ladys hair in my face as I hold her.I miss the unique smell of that special Ladys skin, and the delicate way itfeels in my hands.I miss looking into my Ladys eyes and seeing that unrestrained, unspoiled, anduntempered love.I miss being able to have a complete conversation with my Lady, and neither ofus speaking one single word.I miss a Lady who is strongest were I am weakest.I miss being able to encourage my Lady in her dreams and desires.I miss being so very proud of my Lady for her accomplishments.I miss being able to rescue my Lady when she needs a knight in shinningarmour.But most of all I miss my Lady being my equal and my companion.I hope this was not to intrusive for anyone, I just felt I needed to say it.Thank you
My Outlook
I have been asked to explain my philosophy on life in a more detailed version than I usually give verbally, so here goes.Essentially, I live my life knowing that I am doing what is right by my interpretation. For instance, people frequently pose the questions to me "what if 'person x' does this?", or "what about what 'person x' did?". I understand that what was done, or will be done, by anyone may be very painful lessons for me, lessons which will show me that persons views in life. Likewise, there may be very happy lessons I learn from that person that show me their views in life. I think these questions boil down to "how can you be even more trusting and compassionate towards people when they have shown you their true colors?" To this I reply, am I any less of a person because of the events? Indeed, are they any less? I think not, for we are still the same people we were before the fortunate or unfortunate events occurred. As a matter of fact, am I not more wiser in the way of things, if I learn from the good and bad events I endure? If I limit my compassion for individuals because of events I have been through, am I not unfairly characterizing that person and not allowing myself to be as open as i actually am?This is not to say that I am an easy mark for anyone wanting to take advantage of me. I do have factors I look for in order to determine a persons honesty, and do adjust myself accordingly. I start out any interaction with any person with great compassion and openness, and allow that person to show me where I need to change my actions towards them. If that person does appear to be taking advantage of my kindness and compassion, it is only to the level that I will allow them to do so. If a persons gains from me what they want through deception, and yet I would have given it even without the deception, this does not reflect badly on me. I am still the same person, and would have done the same thing in either situation. The person that deceived me is still the same person also, but now I know of their ability to deceive, and will tailor my interactions with them accordingly.This is not to say that I "write people off" when I have seen their ability to deceive. Far from it actually, I still approach them with the same level of compassion and kindness I did before, but if they again attempt to deceive me, I politely excuse myself from the interaction. If there are no more attempts to deceive, then I share with them all my compassion and kindness holds.The key issues would be:Knowing what your level of giving to other peolpe is;Realizing that no matter what interactions occur between you and others, you will still be you no matter how others may look on you due to those interactions;Know yourself, so that you may be true to yourself, do not let anyone tell you who you are, but seek that knowledge within yourself. Remember, life is a constant state of change, the most significant of which is brought on by a rapid, and often violent, departure from your routine activities.
confused
Well here I am, just a bit confused. I thought you Ladies wanted a lasting relationship. A man who would co-exist with you, who wanted children, all the stuff like that. So why is it that the Ladies I have been with only want short term relationships or one night stands? I thought that the guy was the one that was only interested in getting in a girls panties, not the other way around. I can not explain what a disappointment it is to know that a Lady is not interested in an in depth relationship, but would love to spend the night with me. Don't get me wrong, I love sex. Very Very much so, but I am willing to wait for that. I believe the sex would be so much better with a foundation built up from a slow and loving relationship first.Anybody feel like explaining whats going on, and why I am beset with women that only want sex from me and no other relationship?
Thoughts on relationships
It has been suggested to me that perhaps I should put down and idea i have for everyone to read, as it may be something that helps others.So here goes. It is my impression that most of the relationships today break up simply because people are not willing to put the amount of work into them that was done years ago. Take for instance courtship. It used to be that a person would court another for weeks or months before the issue of sex was ever even broached. Of course there would be innuendos from time to time, but nothing major. in essence this meant that for the relationship to work, a great deal of work had to be put into it long before the two ever hopped into bed together. I am not saying there should not be sex simply for the feeling of it, because hey thats great to. A mind blowing, uninhibited romp is great now and again, but that is not what a relationship is made of. just because a person has the talent or technique to give the other the best orgasms they have ever had, does not mean that they will be great for all the rest of the time they are not in bed together. Now and days, everyone knows what it takes to make them feel good, and this is a much easier road to take than knowing what it takes emotionally to feel good, because guess what, it takes much less work. It takes a lot of time and effort to figure out what a person wants and needs emotionally, and in this day of instant gratification, no one seems to be willing to put in the extra time. So as an example, here is my approach to any relationship now. I have taken the time to decide on many key factors that a person must have for me to consider them as a possible partner. I do not pursue the physical side of the relationship until I have seen everything I am looking for in that other person. If that person does not meet all of the criteria, than I am well aware of the short comings well before we ever go any further, and I make the decision as to whether or not it would be worth it. If it takes months to decide if I will ever bed a lady, then so be it. The result for me is knowing that by the time we do make it to the bedroom, the lovemaking (because it is that, not just sex at that point) will be incredible because its as emotional as it is physical. Questions anyone? LOL
Thoughts in general
People never stop suprising me. Take for instance the other day a very attractive lady came in to where I work and struck up a conversation with me. That was great, and I was feeling very good about things (its kind of dificult for me to tell if someone is flirting with me, but this one definitly was), so of course I was very chipper, I mean after all, she said she used to be a model. Did my ego good. Then, one of the guys I work with who knew her told me who she was. Turns out she is married. Instant rage and anger on my part. If she would have been there still she would have regretted it. Why do you ladies do this? If you are not happy in the marriage, do not hide it and sneak around, that is lowerer than low. You should have enough respect for yourself and your spouse/partner not to do that kind of crap. I know because I have now been on both sides of it, the spouse that was cheated on and the guy a lady wanted to cheat with. UNACCEPTABLE!
Vow
While thou art in this world with me I will defend thy honor as thee ask it, to my dieing breath. Thou art my inspiration in every activity and action I take. I will dedicate every single beat of my heart to extolling the virtues of thy beauty and grace, and while it pleases thee, all the elements of my being shall be yours to keep and call on as thou see fit. This vow I make to thee. This vow I hold above all others, to live by until thou release me from this solemn promise.
By my hand this day.
Copyright 1985
All above by Kenneth A. Steenrod, Contact me here.
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