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It's 3 am in DUNCAN, SC. A fog of newports lingers over the lake as three, strong men sit bt it. The men are Bigg Wafer, B Moore, and Tiny Bob. Bigg Wafer throws a rock into the water and the lake catches on fire. The three firends stand up and watch as a figure rises out of the water. It's a baby, thats on fire. The baby roars as the boys scream like girls. They run but the baby shoots a fire ball at Tiny Bob and it kills him.

B- Lets drag him back.

Bigg- No!

Tiny Bob- (who came back to life from the curse of the ghost baby) Asshole.

The baby shoot fire balls until the men get away. They stop one mile short of Wafer Ass Mega


They decide to do a marine corps run with Bigg caling the cadance. He sings about three seconds b4 Tiny and B fall out and have to walk the rest of the way. Finally they get there and smoke outside of Wafer Ass Mega


When the smokes are done, they walk in. Its all dark and B doesn't like it. He turns on the light, and there by himself, is... JOE WARD!! Bigg imeadatly attcks him and they fight for five minutes. Then they stop cause Joe Ward has to piss. When he comes back they fight for five more minutes until he stops and talks to the men.

Joe Ward- We have to stop the Ghost baby.

Three Guys- K.

They set up base in Wafer Ass Mega


Bigg walks around with his 240 Golf, while Tiny Bob and B, sport M-16 A2s. Joe Ward carries an AT-4. They all sit there and wait for something to happen in Camp Wafer Ass Mega


Stephanie walks by and as the men start to tell her to come in and get away from the ghost baby, a rock falls on her head. Then Terry comes from behind her and laughs his ass off. Then Stephanie rolls off the rock to fuss at Terry. Terry farts, and another rock falls on Steph.

And then... The peasants rejoice.

Time ticks by as the men, now joined by Terry and a flattened Stephanie stand guard. Terry carries a boulder launching whim and Stephanie has her flaming bowl of Purkle Head "h" Cereal. Terry nearly jumps out of his skin as a mouse runs by, and B laughs at him cuz its only Mista Jangles. The mouse runs up and sits on Bigg Wafer's shoulder. It then proceeds to shit on him. Wafer throws the mouse across the room and blows it away.

All is quiet, too quiet, only the sound of Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers, a Wafer Ass Mega


specialty, can be heard cooking on the grill. The glass doors swing open, and the men ready their weapons.

Bigg Wafer says: "Fire on my command, men." They wait... and wait... and wait...

Three days later the door closes again, and they all breathe a sigh of relief. A black pontiac then crashes thru the glass doors, and Wayen Campbell Delacroix steps out.

Wayne Campbell Delacroix: "I need to get on Bubbajunk and email Buggy. His address is Its @"

They all commence to laughter, but then Terry screams as Mr. Jangles runs by again, cuz thats the curse of the ghost baby, to never die and stay dead.

Tiny sees an opportunity and jumps on the back of Mr. Jangles. He rides him all the way around the arcade, knocking over Megatouch Maxx's, Gauntlett Legends, Area 51, and Midway Allstars. Then they go down the stairs and Mr. Jangles dives out a window...

Well, at the end of B's story, the peasants do rejoice. Then everyone goes to sleep for 134 minutes. During so, David Reed comes out and farts on Joe Ward. He says Oscar. He is then mysteriously pedigreed my Lukewarm John Davis. A rock falls on steph and everyone wakes up. Wafer picks up the megatocuh max and as he inserts, tree fiddy, Bibby comes out of the game. He picks up wafer and proceeds to stick his head in the celing fan. Thomas gets mad and throws the 240G to B. B says this

When I see Bibby

He's going to say.

how'd u get here boy.

it just one day

and I'll reply with my 240 golf

"Shut up b###h, im going to break you off"

wafer starts running in place and repeats everyline. brandon then shoots up Bibby who passes gas and dies. He wakes up and says Wafer Ass Mega.


The Percy Whitmore lands on the rock that landed on Steph. He gets up, sees Mister jangles and does a little dance. The u see him pissin in his pants. Then he gets B fired from Master's Mark. Then The Rock lands on Percy Whitmore that land on the rock that landed on Steph. The whole times, Terry laughs his ass off. Then he he catches Hepititus R and dies, then comes back to life. Then Tiny jumps out of a window randomly, and Wafer espically finds this funny. So B does a naked random backflip and says: Oh Jesus. The Jesus tells him to shut up, so he does. Meanwhile, back at the caddy shack, Eddie Lee, aka Chief, gets out of boot camp and marries the ghost baby. but they get divorced and Chief gets half the baby's powers and a restraining order. And custody of the kids. So to that a fat man drinks three gallons of wine and the peaseant rejoice. SCORE

The ghost baby settles over the group at Wafer Ass Mega WAM!

Time suddenly decides to stand still for no reason whatsoever. Wafer camp mills around doing random pointless stupid shit, and then they all look at one another and begin laughing. They suddenly stop and do the sign of Yevon.

Thats when the blitzballs filled with rocks fall on Stephanie.

Everyone dies for reasons unknown and Unsolved Mysteries shows up. They film the outside of Wafer Ass Mega


and then leave.

The peasants rejoice a little too early in the story and B kills them all. They come back to life.

Suddenly Dusty walks thru the drive thru window (thats right) and begins doing his own rendition of Death Ass and Queers by Slipknot.

The Ghost Baby fixes everyone a classic triple, and then fills up megatouch maxx's with quarters. Wafer and B play PhotoHunt for three and a half years, but that's when they lose cuz they missed one picture where a woman was constipated in one pic but not the other.

Sgt. Diehl walks in and synapses his ass over to Midway B-Ball where he takes on the all star team of Lara Croft and King Kong.

Steph: Monkeeeeeeeey!!!!!

Then a statue of a monkey falls on her. Just before she dies she utters...

Steph: Monkee....

Then wafer pisses on her

Bigg: I'm currently cookin up some turds to go with it. Be out to ya by tomarrah!

Then Gunney Major First Sgt Captain in Chief Spaz shows up begging for stir fried hot dogs. Ichy cooks them on the grill at Wafer Ass Mega


then Bigg wafer begins to pour ranch dressing all over the food, his fries, his drink, Terry, and Turkey Hunter. The ghost baby laughs and suddenly Bigg Wafer is in a pool of Ranch Dressing and drowns in it.

And the peasants rejoice.


I's tired boss, dog tired.

And the peasants all take a power quick shit trick and rejoice again.

Well then Jackie Chan gets a straw and eats out the old lady from murder she wrote with it after he covers her with Wafer ranch dressing. Terry licks his lip but he tripped, fell, and landed on his dick. Everyone, espically Triple H laughs bacause the penis flies through the air an pockes Brandon in the eye. Brandon yeal out:

I got Terry Goober in my eye!

Then Tiny says: Heh.

So Stephanie crawls out from everything that landed on her just to have a tomato hit her on the left nipple. She likes it and screws the tomato. B gets jealous and screws tiny. Who says: Eh.

Then Bibby does a drop kick to terry who moves out of the way sending Bibby throug a table at Brandon ass mega


Then worlds collide and B does the Ichy dance. Everyone does thier dance except wafer. Even immel does his dance. Yes, The Immel dance. Then Forrest Gump rubns through on his marathon and looks at Steph and says Shit happens. Steph gets mad and fiddles with his testicle. The a rock lands on Steph so Forrest keeps running. The Joe Ward says: GETONOUTTAHERA

in one big word when he sees a dog come up to Wafer Ass Mega


Stephanie starts b###hin at B b/c all the rocks keep landing on her. He blames it on terry, starts to cry and locks himself in the bathroom. Wafer farts, but not in frnt of Steph. Then an ugly baby named Harley comes out and is beat as the peasants rejoice. B?

Steph: why is everybody always picking on me? The ghost baby comes out of the bathroom and steps on Wafer's big toe. Wafer gets pissed and starts shooting at random places. The lights go out and the ghost baby knocks everyone out.

Two minutes later everyone wakes up to find themselves in an abondoned house. They walk to the kitchen and see a big glowing light on the table.

Ghost Baby: You are all under my control!!! HAHAHAHA. I command you in the name of Lucifer to shed the blood of the innocent.

And the peasants rejoice.

Im not Ichy but Im taking over dammit! So anyways, after everything has gone down like a porn star, B comes out of the bathroom with tears in his eyes, piss on his pants, and a turd in his hands and starts to yell for his mommy.

B - The lil bugga fell off mom-a-me!

Wafer looks around before laughing, then letting out a fart that sets off a boulder that lands on everyone except Terry just so they can catch up to his deaths, as The Ghost Baby comes by and summons Sin to mutalate them all, Terry included, which sends everyone into overdrive.

Wafer does the hokey pokey, and B turns around, thats what its all about! Terry then pulls a sword out, apparently from his ass, and cuts The Ghost Baby's head off, when in actuality it was Ghost Baby's sex loving sister, Sex Baby, who was trying to ride everyone of this forsaken curse, as Steph starts to b###h about killing it, Terry drops a boulder on her ass, Conner walks by with a mop stuck up his ass as Lobster walks by saying "Sit on this!"

Bill Clinton comes by smoking a joint saying he didnt inhale as Monica Lewensky tries to keep up giving him a hummer. Osama Bin Laden runs in screaming "Jihad!" over and over until Wafer and B do an inverted testicular backflip body twist through a table as a goat walks by with Tiny humping it. B and Wafer move out of the way as Steph tries to get a shot in, only to have yet another boulder labeled 24323.....and three quarters land on her and Bin Laden ending the feverous struggle that partook inside Wafer Ass Mega.


Dusty comes inside, whether he was outside or not isnt really known, but he comes inside, grabs the shotgun for Turkey Hunt, and mows everyone down and yell outloud.

Dusty - Hail to the king baby!

Boulders fly around making sure everyone is dead, as a round of frosts are made, compliments of Mista Jangles. Everyone runs and eats, thinking of what has happened.

Hark, what light doth light window break...or something. Tis the peasants, and they now rejoice!....or so they thought. It was only Tiny, B, and Wafer letting out a fart conjunctively, as Vanilla Ice walks through fighting Eminem, before the two make up, and Vanilla bends over as Eminem rams him back out. Everyone looks at each other, shakes their heads, as they continue eating their frosts inside of Wafer Ass Mega.


So anyways, Selena and Chandra Desdemosa, rights reserved by Worldwide Online Wrestling and all affiliates, walk through the doors as Wafer, B, and Terry all stop and stare, Tiny staring at his hand doing Jedi mantras. Wafer and B try to go after them, followed by Steph for who know what the hell for when a boulder lands on them.

Terry - This boulder launching comes in handy!

Terry runs off with Selena and Chandra to have a beloved love affair in the lower level of Wafer Ass Mega


Camp style, where the truckers go, apparently, as Terry comes back sweaty and eyes blaring as Wafer and B give him a high five, showing anger is never persistant in the world of The Ghost Baby.

A noise chims out, whether it was the sheer happiness Selena and Chandra felt, or a bunch of redneck peasants.....the only thing that matters is, the peasants....they shall rejoice!

Then, out of nowhere, Wafer Ass Mega...


if filled with bats.

Tiny-Holy shit man, this is bat country.

Tiny and Dusty run to the Area 51 Arcade and pick up the two guns. They get a real serious look on their faces and start mowing down all the bats. After they are all killed they come back to life as rats so dusty runs to the Time Crisis machines and yanks off the Machine Gun and starts blasting them all to hell. After they all die they collect as one and form a giant big foot named Bigg Cracker.

Dusty- Damnit, hey Tiny, let's finish this suckah.

Tiny and Dusty run up to it and fart on it and then Dusty pulls out one nut, not both but just one and chases it out the door and then an ice cream truck falls on Stephanie.

Terry-Oops, sorry, wrong button. Let me try this one.

A dog named Sam falls on Stephanie and terry throws the gadet and it break and dozens of rocks begin falling onto her head.

Brandon-Stop that damn machine, this is insanity

Dusty- you shut your ####ing cock sucker

Then, out of nowhere the Ghost Baby shows up with an army of little Ghost midget minions and they attach the group. Luckily, most of them get caught under the falling rocks. Dusty, Tiny, Thomas, Brandon and Terry are now left to defend the fort. Brandon grabs a stuffed animal and starts beating them down. Terry pulls out a rocket launcer and starts firing away only to find out the ammo was replaced with silly string. Thomas and Dusty start farting and that clears most of them out while Tiny sits back smoking. Then, all five men get in a line and charge at the midget minions and kill them all in a barage of farting with Dusty in the middle with one nut hanging out. But before all the midgets die...they all Touch dusty's butt and then die. Then the peasants rejoice at the sight of his butt.

All is well in the town of, dun-dun-Duncan! Terry rapes the little boys, B eats the asfault, the rocks fall upon the chosen one, Tiny says, "Eh", Eddie eats doughnuts by the truckloads, Wafer smokes rock, Bibby, well, Bibby does somethings not even I shall talk about. All is well until the helion, Misha,

MISHA! comes in witn the ghost baby.


Wafer- Your a girl

B- Why am I a girl

tiny- dunno

Terry drops in with his new invention. The Steph/monkey flatener 3479. He presses the "Purkle" button and the biggest rock on the face of the earth falls on steph. Ok, so maybe it was a piece of gravel thrown up by a passing Cam-a-row, but it was still a rock. At the site of the ghost baby, everyone kills them selves for the hell of it, except Joe Ward, who isnt a team player. He just beats off in front of the police academy. So they go to Wafer Ass Mega


to set up for the expected war. Except Terry goes to boot camp to be a marine. so why terry cries and does push ups all day, every one else drops rocks on steph until she does the unimaginable. She eats Mister jangles.

Wayne Campbell Delicrioux- Yeppers.

WTF? anyway, terry cuts her open with a pink platic spoon and saves mister jangles from the cereal pit in her stomach.

Reader- Hey I thought terry was in boot camp.

Me- Shut up, its my story.

Reader- but its stupid

Me- oh yeah?

So Dusty chases the reader around with one nut as Terry puts on a dress. There was no reason for this, but B finds it sexy. So B chases Terry with 3/4 of a nut. so while people are chasing other people wiht thier nuts, wafer slaps Misha

(chior boys) Misha

with a piece of steak. Then Misha eats it because she loves meat. Then the ghost baby gets mad b/c he hasnt done anything yet so he chops off your head.

You- Hey!

Me- Sit on a mop

you- okay

When I realize how much of a sick #### you are, Tiny says


and a goat humps dusty. Then Darren slaps me for posting this trash on his OOC board. Then we all shun the stupid ass champ because he called me big wafer and ended the ghost baby saga. I give him a book called "how to ####in roleplay, you moron" later realizing that he cannot read. He tries to teach himself, but ends up masterbauting to the pretty words. Then the six o'clock news comes on.. and the peasants rejoice

So as you, the reader laughs his ass off at the funny story, Poe wanders in and yells

Poe: Faggot faggot. Faggot faggot. Faggot faggot.

Reader: if he yells why are there no !!'s?

Me: Didn't you learn from Bigg Wafer?

Reader: Who's Big Wafer?

Me: Oh you bastard...

So Lopez aka Uncle Billboard steps into Wafer Ass Mega


And looks at you the reader who is beginning to think this story is cheesy as hell and says:

Billboard: It ain't easy bein' cheesy...

B rolls his eyes at the corniness of Uncle Billboard and then Tiny pulls out a blunt, smokes it and then its on to the forties, mmmhmmm. Then he gets some liquor in a plastic bottle, but plastic bottles suck. Then he horks all over himself.

Reader: What is hork?

Me: You dumbass.

Reader: Hork is you dumbass?

Me pulls out a sword and shoots the reader.

Darren is getting pretty sick of all this and brings in his buddy Cheapshots to regulate. So Cheapshots begins to do a really messed up version of the Wafer Dance.

Cheapy: I'm the Big Wafer. I'm going to do the wafer squeeze cuz i'm the mutha####in man.

Out of nowhere Mark stops masturbating with the blinds open and runs in.

Mark: hey thats my line and its BIGG wafer you shithead!

But Craven hits them both in the back of the head with a muffin pan.

Craven: Who's the mutha####in man now?

Mark: Not the muffins!

Tyler Durden: You're not your ####in khakis.

Eddie: When did Tyler Durden get here?

Sgt. Diehl: Shut up, b###h tits.

Tiny: Eh.

Ms. Devlin: You are too loud.

Jean: I love wafer!

Steph: Me too.

Jean: Shut up Step on me.

Jean drops a boulder on Aprils head, who tries to balance it but drops it on Steph's head.

And the peasants rejoice.

As soon as the peasants are done rejoicing for the thousandth time the Ghost Baby goes into seizures. It's hair starts glowing and it is now levitating off of the groung and shaking. The baby is now growing in size. Dusty, Brandon, Terry, Tiny, Misha, and Bigg Wafer are staring at it. Steph is trying to see but her sight is blocked by the big ass rock on her head.


Brandon- SNOOGENS b###h

Dusty- b###h, don't be using my line.

Dusty then proceeds to drop kicking Brandon into a porta potty and then Dusty and Wafer pull out the Porta Potty tag team titles and start pounding on the porta potty and then send it careening down the stairs to the lower level of Wafer Ass Mega...


Dusty- I warned him didn't I Tiny.

Tiny- Yep.

The Ghost Baby then walks up and b###h smacks Dusty through a mountain which appeared out of nowhere in a remote location because Wafer Ass Mega..


has been moved to some unknown location.

Dusty- Ohhh, my pancreas.

Misha- Is Dusty ok.

Wafer- Yeah, he's hardcore, he'll live.

Dusty- Volkswagon.

Tiny- Cool.

Misha- No it isn't

Dusty- Damn Ghost Baby. You're mine.

Dusty then starts shaking his muscles. The ground beneath him starts shaking. Dirt and rocks start to lift from the ground by some unknown force and one of these lifted rocks fall on Steph. Dusty's hair starts to glow a neon Blue and his eyes are black now and grows fangs. His body is engulfed in the same blue colored aura. He roars and the grounds is broken apart with a massive whirlwind around him.

Misha, Terry, Wafer, and a shit covered Brandon- Whoa, he's went Psycho Saiya-Jin.

Dusty- Oh hell yeah, Now I'm gettin' all meta-####in'-physical up in 'dis b###h now mutah ####ahs. Now, can you dig dat succckkkkaaaa.

Terry- Shit, just what we need, a Dusty that is controlled by Booker T.

The Super Ghost Baby picks up the internet machine that is in Wafer Ass Mega...


and holds it above it's head. Dusty begins speeding towards the baby and the baby throws the internet machine at hime, then the baby explodes.

Misha- What in the hell just happened.

Dusty- That's what happens when you break the rules.

Misha- What rule was that?

Dusty- He pressed "Kay" on the keyboard.

Misha- Ohhhhhh, I see now. Who's dumb enough to break the rules now.

Everyone looks at Richard Gazinya. Just then, there is a rattling sound in the broom closet and everyone turns to it and creep to it. They encircle it and Dusty Flings it open and Ghost Baby is back to normal size and runs out while kicking people in the shin. Brandon and Dusty look at each other and grab hack saws out from behind the brooms in the closet and go into the arcade. They go into the arcade and starting sawing and after an hour, they realized that they were actually just punching a baboon.

Baboon- What are you doing?

Brandon- What are you doing. Go away.

Baboon- Why, are you prejudice against baboons or something.

Brandon- No, I'm just busy. Dusty, shut him up.

Dusty chases the baboon out with his one testicle showing then he goes back to work. After 47 seconds pass they call everyone into the arcade.

Dusty- Ladies and gentlmen, that being you poor bastards that have been curse, we are proud to present to you.......A nativity play about The Ark.

Just then, a rock falls on the background scene smashing it and ruining the play.

Brandon_ Damnit Terry, you missed and ruined everything.

Terry- Sorry, let me fix that for you.

A rock then falls on Steph's head.

Terry- There you go.

Just then, the entire second battlion Transvestite brigade parachutes outside of Wafer Ass Mega...



The war begins and both sides are firing away and not long after wards a space ships lands on the transvestite soldiers killing them all.

Tiny- eh cool.

Brandon- What the hell is that.

Dusty- It's a space ship.

Wafer- Well no shit Steven.

Brandon- Steven point.

Dusty- I'm going to communicate with it.

Dusty runs up to the space ship and jumps on the front of it and tries looking through the windshield.

Dusty- It doesn't look like anyone's in here.

Just then, aliens jump out wearing Richard Simmons shirts and have afro wigs on.


And the peasants reluctantly rejoice.

So suddenly time fast rewinds back to the middle ages as an old Monty Python Movie seems to be taking place....The Quest for Holy Grail Terry is King Arthur, Wafer is Sir Lancelot, Ichy (as he will be refered to for the remander of the saga) is Sir Galahad, B-Pac is Sir Robin, Tiny is Sir Not Appearing In This Movie but we will find a spot for him somewhere, and Dusty is Sir Not Appearing In This Movie's brother, but we will still find someone to gracefully touch his butt.

So anyways, one day the crowd was walking along the pathway towards Wafer Ass Mega.


Better knonw as Camelot, being as Terry had lost it in a bet to Wafer in which they wanted to see who could spin, pat their head, rub their belly, and fart all in the same motion. Terry hit the button on his launcher and kiled the man that follows him with coconuts, and being so lost the bet. But in any case, the group comes upon a pathway in which it splits up. Soooo....Terry takes the middle path, Wafer the left, Ichy the right, B-Pac turns around running away, and while Dusty and Tiny both say "Eh", touch each others butts, and sit there.

Wafer walks along the pathway until finding a letter. He looks around for a moment

Wafer - Itsa bloody note, it is!

Note - I know Im a bloody note, now read me you fool!

All this being said in old english with men following around with coconuts, as it just wouldnt be the same, now would it? Anyways, Wafer sees this as an opportunity to #### someone up, so he pulls out his blade and goes to charge when his horse, Bob the coconut banger, falls over from a sudden heat stroke in the middle of winter and dies. Wafer frowns for a moment.

Wafer - Poor Billy.

Bob the coconut banger - My name was Bob you dumb ass!

Wafer - Sorry.

A boulder then lands on Bob, Wafer shrugs it off and starts to decend upon the masses, killing all sorts of shrubbery and plants along the way, even killing a squirrel with monster sized nuts that Wafer made into ear rings.

Wafer - Cute huh?

Person peeing on a bush - Get on with it!

Wafer then charges into the castle, kills everyone in site, rapes a donkey, then leaves without a tinge of blood on his drapery.

Wafer - You're not fully clean unless your Zest fully clean!

Terry - Shut up you dumbass

Terry on his journey still, finds the dark black knight blocking his passage.

Terry - Get the #### out the way you dumb bastad

Black Knight - Yo wha you jus say nigga?

Terry - I said get the crap out me way, you filthy varmin!

Terry suddenly grew a pireate accent for a moment, but all is well.

Black Knight - Pull out ya gat an' come get it. Can you dig it, sucka!!!!

Terry and the black knight pull out their swords, the gat version, and go at it like two monkey with their heads chopped off. Boulders drop everywhere as to catch up with the 1.3 minutes rule as the two duke it out. Terry chops his legs off, and laughs at him.

Terry - You got no legs!

Black knight - Tis a flesh wound, you honkey!

The black knight suddenly grows new legs, as the curse of the Ghost Baby sets in.

Terry - Damn that Ghost baby.

Forrest Gump - LT. DAN! You got new legs!

The black knight beheads Gump boy, as Terry then beheads him, followed by a sheer beating, as Terry decides this isnt gonna work out that great.

Terry - Fred, the coconut beater, lets get the hell outta here!

Fred - Righty-O

Stephanie - Righty-O

Terry - Didnt I say to stay outta this woman!

Terry drops a boulder on her head as he gallops away.

Ichy is stranded in the castle of Zuet, where big boobed, ghetto booty girls live. All sorts of 'em too. Straight, bi, lezzies, the works. Ichy thanks his lucky stars for where he is, when suddenly they all die, leaving him with blue balls

Ichy - NOOO!!!!!!

Conner walks by with a mop up his ass still, as we come to an intermission to allow Ichy to relieve the blue balls.

Ichy - Thanks man!

During Intermission, Richard Simmons does aerobics and get it up his shooter from LT. Dan. Booker T does a spinner roonie. And Riverdance and Cats are acted out......

The intermission dies suddenly, as the show goes on, Ichy left sitting there with his wee willy wacker in his hands.

Ichy - Oh shit!

The dead arise, curse of the damn Ghost Baby, as Ichy looks around

Ichy - Sweet!

When just then Wafer comes barging in. Killing most of them all again, even Conner with the broom up his shooter.

Wafer - We have come to save you from grave peril!

Ichy - #### you dude, I wanna get laid!

Wafer - Laid? Shit, why didnt you say so. Now we gotta wait for them to get back to life.

They all do, and they feel like they have hit heaven, when alas only a boulder killed all the women again, with the spell of Mista Jangles on it, as they all turn into Mista Jangles, except for one, he becomes that one X-mas mouse that I remember reading about when I was little.....who the crap cares tho, right?

Wafer and Ichy - Damn that boulder launcher!

B-Pac, on the other hand, is now trudging bravely on his way when he meets up with a ghastly three headed giant.

B-Pac - Gadzooks!

Three Headed Giant who is really Dusty and Tiny tied together along side of the Ghost Baby in disguise as Godzilla.

Tiny - Ehy

Dusty - Where?

Godzilla - *farts* B-Pac points, and low and behold, there is a Gadzooks. So everyone goes on a shopping spree, until Tiny, Dusty, and Harry Potter, yeah the Ghost Baby is a quick one, decide to try and kill B-Pac, they do, but he continues to run, pissing his pants and crying in sheer horror!

B-Pac - MOMMA!!!!!

B-Pac's Mom - Im coming baby!

B-Pac's Mom gets a boulder dropped on her, its only necessary, as B-Pac continues to run, dripping urine all over the damn place.

Wafer and Ichy stop B-Pac from running, as B-Pac tries to tell them a donkey by the name of Jed peed on him. They nod in horror and disugst, or something like that, as they begins to head back to Wafer Ass Mega


Terry, on the other hand......has many more perils before-est him. As he continues on, he passes a horde of peasants, who rejoice!

Now that the group has rejoined they continue the journey set for them by none other than the Ghost Baby. Soon, they come upon the legendary knights who say:


B: Ric Flair?

Those who hear them seldom beat the man.

Knights who say woooooh!: You must appease us or we shall say WOOOOH! again!

Dusty: So?

Knights who say woooooh!: Woooooooh!

Terry: Oh knights who say WOoooooh!, what is it you wish?

Knights who.. #### it: A shrubbery!

Wafer: #### you...

Then shrubberies begin falling on the knights who say Woooooh and Steph killing them, only for them to come back to life. B-Pac runs away, Eddie farts, and Sgt. Diehl dances in Wafer Ass Mega


They continue on to the Bridge of Fire.

Jean: Holy Shit!

There the bridgekeeper Chad Harzy is dressed up like a hobo.

Chad Harzy: whoever shall pass this bridge shall answer me these questions 5!

Amber Jones (who is naked): 3 sir!

Chad Harzy: 3

Wafer: I pass gas I'm not afraid.

Chad Harzy falls into the gorge of eternal wiggity screaming until he hits the bottom and comes back to life.... yes he screamed until he came back to life. Then he joins the group.

Finally they mount the good ship lollipop and everyone takes a turn at Amber as Dusty wears her Bootyliscious panties. Then they get to the castle AAAAAARGH.

Darren pops his head up.

B: Oh shit i only f/ Tiny now he gets no points for this.

Darren: Thats not funny.

B: Sorry

B is so embarassed that he falls upon Tiny's shaft killing himself... only to come back to life.

Terry: Give us the grail!

Darren tosses out the holy grail-- the WOW Championship-- and they all scrap for it. After a long and grueling match inside a mill, higher power dies and Wicked D (A.K.A Dusty) shits on his grave and then rubs his nut on it. Mista Jangles emerges victorious as the new WoW Champion, Dick Gazinya b###hes and cries about it, and the peasants rejoice...

The first television to ever come on in Wafer Ass Mega


comes on. Every stops the copmotion. Terry runs out and takes it and drops it on stephanie's head.

KKK- Hey Terry you wanna be a klucker

Dusty of all people attacks the KKK. He kills eight of the, and there where only seven. The funny part is they had masks on so they never saw the Ghost baby. So they die.


As the chior boys parctice for Misha, Dusty finds out that he's missing his Oi. Steph says Oi, and 18 people and four moneys drop random items on her, the funniest being half full jar of mayonaise. Yes, Im an optimist, the mayo jar was half full.

Anyway, after a fat muddy man in Rwanda changes out of his pink poka-dotted thong, Brandon does a cartwheel and falls off the porch into a box and rolls down a hill. Dusty, who is still missing his Oi, jumps off the porch and hits the groud without rolling. To make every one laugh, he decides to pretend to roll down the hill. As he does this, everyone decides to go and take a piss.

After a green dog named Henry eats a pineapple, Brandon and Tiny start a vocabulary contest with Tiny winning with the word Eh. Steph crawls out of the pile of rubble and says that she has a "Head- H" and Wafer and Terry drop a Garfield o her. Then they jump on Garfield who works nicely as a trampoline. They are soon joined by many hot tomalies, and Wafer and Terry take them to the bathroom and:



Oh, yeah, there was a WAM in that part of the story.

Anyway, as Bill Clinton crawls out of his grave...

fat man in back- Uhhh... Clinton's not dead

I snap my fingers and Terry Drops Stephanie on a rock. Wait. He was supposed to kill the man, but lukily, 2pac shot him anyway.

As Fat Ed eats a goat Shirt, (WhAT?) Misha steps around the corner to tell 2pac to quit messing about. 2pac pulls out his Thuggish to Australlian translator and shoots Misha.

2pac's friend, meleek- Wat' dat ho say to u man?

2pac- Man, dat ho asked me polietly not to shoot people.

Meleek- Dat b###h

Wafer and dusty cant stand for this and they call Falco.

Daniel- Not Falco!

Me- Yes, Falco.

anyway falco comes and marries 2pac and they run away to live happily ever after... unti they get hit by a bus. Ice cream is good.

Tiny- MMM, hm

Brandon Yaks because he tried to eat Emmy. Emmy gets mad and elopes Wafer. Wafer yells score! Then he wakes up madder than hell. Then emmy accidentally steps on his toe ans syas "sorry"

Wafer- hey thats close enough SCORE!!

Wafer ass Mega


Caught you off guard didnt I? anyway Terry drops The Rock on steph and the rock doesnt find it that funny, but does laugh a little.

Ichabod- Is it.. SATAN?

What? shut up. Then out of nowhere, from the batpole, comes


But she sprains her ankle so it doesn't matter. The chior boys gather round Misha to see if she's okay covering her from sight, they all run screaming as dusty sits in the middle with a nut hanging out and a Misha costume on the ground.

Dusty- Ha hA!

Terry gets sick of seeing dusty's nut so he drops Rikishi on him

Pearl the reader- quit dropping stuff yuggin!

Terry- #### u pearl

Pearl- WAHHHH!!!

Terry- Shut up old batch- (slaps pearl)

Pearl and Terry look at each other and start making out.

Tiny- Crispy.

Wafer- I am awesome

Everyone nods thier head in agreement, even though dusty didnt want to. Tiny touches dusty's butt and and dusty feels better. Steph, who has been extra quiet b/c shes sick of al the damn rocks, has a rock fall on her head completly at random. It wasnt Terry, Wafer, Dusty, Misha, Tiny, Darren, Pearl, it wasnt anyone. It actually feel off a cliff and Stephanie just happened to be standing there.

Ghost Baby- Everyone die!!!

Everyone dies and comes back to life, damn Ghost baby. Mister Jangles poos on (insert random name here)'s shoe. They get mad. Then Wafer kicks Daniel in the balls and daniel goes home... in his car. Then every jumps up togther, does an about face, except B who ####s it up, then says together, Wafer! Ass! Mega!

WAM! (faintly u here boo-urns)

Wafer- wait did u say WAM! or Boo urns

Everyone- WAM! Mister Jangles- I was saying Boo-urns.

Well, after the big WAM! Terry drops a PC on Steph and the peasants rejoice.

So as B, Wafer, the 1984 Denver Broncos, and the rest of the gang continue their relentless war on Kelly... i mean the ghost baby, Chris Rock and Barry white along with En Vogue begin to sing Basketball Jones over the PA.

The Harlem Globetrotters come in swingin their arms left and right while snapping. Kid rock shows up to sing, but Dusty kills him, only for him to come back to life and sing Cowboy. The Globetrotters start breakdancing until Kid rock has a heart attack and dies...

Max Payne shows up but no one cares.

Suddenly, for no reason whatsoever, Wafer ass mega


is sucked into a wormhole... along with Robert ass mega


Somehow, they all end up in the cornfields of Iowa, and the red dragon (which is really a huge tractor) is being driven by Bibby in full cowboy get up. There is a sound of tapping as he beats on the hood of the tractor. Everyone stares in stupefied awe until finally someone figures out what he is doing.

VP James: He's rythmnizing it! B, Bigg Wafer, Tiny, and Dusty all run out to help him, but just as they are getting to it, Bibby turns his head up and does a very redneck


And runs over the four brawny sexy men. Immediately, the curse sets in and four cornstalks burst open and the men jump back out. Bibby looks so embarassed he cries.

Reader: oh my god a trashcan just flew by the window!

Me: you aren't paying attention are you?

Reader: sorry man

Then a red ford ltd drives up and out steps....

The entire master's mark staff.

Buggy the reader: Isn't that supposed to be Robert ass mega?


Me: ~points at Buggy and makes the yak sound. He then drops a car on Buggy~

Buggy: aren't you supposed to drop shit on Steph?

Me: #### off!

So Buggy ####s off, and its really really nasty. See what he does is take his potato gun and... ah nevermind.

So B is put to work pressing shirts, but Crystal brings back a load of 200 shirts just as he is finishing his 300th (supposed to be the last one) at 2:30 pm. He gets pissed and throws her on the hothead, closing it on her. The pain drives her to a heart attack, but the curse brings her back to life... under the hot head, which drives her to another heart attack... the cycle begins, and she is too stupid to put out her arm to lift the release bar. The cycle goes on and on and on

meanwhile tiny pays Amber Jones, who is 14 to give him a backrub.

marty walks in in sparkling robe.


suddenly, jay and silent bob appear and do their rendition of smoking blunts drinkin beers, and ICP joins them. They notice the master's mark sign and say aloud

ICP: eminem

Then big Baby sweets starts to introduce the gang...

sweets: This here is green willie. He sells fake gold

This is hazzad, a business man.

Hazzad: I work from the sweat of my brow to bring you this fruita-juicer, i don't give a #### what darren say, put the number on the board.


Sweets: YAyayaYAYAY i dont give a ####.

this here is Emmy.

Me: Hey emmy why don't you show us them big fat titties?

Emmy does such.

Me to readers: See how I hooked ya'll up, see I aint' have to do that, my ghost baby story is da shit!

Lil Poot: Sho you right son.

Big Stank: Yup.

And the peasants rejoice.

Everyone leaves Robert Ass Mega.


They hop on the tractor and go to Wafer Ass Mega.


B can't put his arms down, he's pressed enough shirts that now he just makes the motions at random. Wafer tries to grab Emmy's butt. Brittney punches B in the eye. Crystal drags Keesha into the hothead, they both are now having heart attacks, but both are too lazy to lift the arm.

Bibby: Die bitchhes!!


Lopez picks up his Michael Jackson album and throws it at Steph's head. It misses, but hits a light switch. A rock falls on Steph's head. Brittney looks at the Ghost Baby.

Ghost Baby stuffs a freezie Pop down her throat. She chokes to death. She comes back to life.

Brittney: Really?

Tiny: MMM, Eh.

B finally gets to turn the radio to the Planet. Bibby blows it up with a potato gun. One potato bounces off of Steph's head.

Paula Abdul sits in the corner and cries about her big thighs. Daniel does a solo to try out for American Idols. Ghost Baby kills him with a scream of torture.

Lopez: Oh my God, they killed Daniel.

Tiny: Sons of bitches. Eh.

Mr Jangles tries to run over B with a go cart. Bibby tries to warn B, but Tiny is on the computer, so Brandon never hears him.

Prince comes in singing Strawberry Beret. B is delighted, because that was his idea. Wafer marches in circles behind the counter of Wafer Ass Mega.


He is singing about Napalm, and kids. Sgt. Diehl went cross-eyed from staring at digital cammies too long. Steven forgets his glasses and tries to have sex with a phone pole outside.

And the peasants rejoice......

The jukebox at Wafer Ass Mega


comes on and plays track tree-fiddy. It sound like dis.

PFC Lawrence: I throw some candy on the ground, I watch all the children gather round. C-130, flying low, I watch all the children start to glow. Cuz, napalm sticks to kids Watch em sizzle watch em fizz. Napalm sticks to kids Napalm, Napalm sticks to kids


Then, Parris Island falls on Stephs head. B goes to help her but is attacked by sandfleas. Terry jumps up and down on Parris island b/c he likes to drop shit. Then comes out, from nowhere, DJ McWafer

DJ McWafer-Yo, Yo, My name is Wafer bone, and I be goin home.

Then comes out MC Ichbizzie

MC Ichbizzie- My name is Ichybone, and I smoke my shit alone.

Bibby stops, drops, and rolls b/c the bathroom is on fire. Then Terry drops a sand flea into the fire and blows up the bathroom.

Wayne Campbell Delicrioux- Yeppers.

Fat Man- HEY! Thats Wayne Campbell Delicrioux! He stole my car!

Wayne Campbell Delicrioux- I'll be leaving now.

Stephanie falls into a hole. Then Dusty drops the 'Kay' key on her.

Suddenly, Misha is caught...

Mish is caught...

Reader- What is she doin.


Reader's boyfriend- Hey u just smacked my girlfriend

2pac- (bang) I screw that hoe, come here baby

reader- Kay

Another reader- anyway, what did misha do?

She... She... Smoke near the dryer

Wafer, Steph, Terry, Dusty, B, Bibby, Tiny, Daniel, The Ghost Baby, the chior boys, Godzilla, Wayne Campbell Delicrioux, The readers, 2pac, Falco, Meleek, all the rocks on Stephs head, Lopez, Emmy, Keesha, Britney, Hazel (she on fur), Randy, Jenny, Brandy, Le-Roy, An empty gatorade bottle, Darren, Dusty's nut, Dusty touched butt, a fat man and a tie dye shirt, Lukewarm John Davis, LPE, and Trey Bailey- OH MY GOD, SHE'S SMOKING NEAR THE DRIER

Misha- what?

Wafer, Steph, Terry, Dusty, B, Bibby, Tiny, Daniel, The Ghost Baby, the chior boys, Godzilla, Wayne Campbell Delicrioux, The readers, 2pac, Falco, Meleek, all the rocks on Stephs head, Lopez, Emmy, Keesha, Britney, Hazel (she on fur), Randy, Jenny, Brandy, Le-Roy, An empty gatorade bottle, Darren, Dusty's nut, Dusty touched butt, a fat man and a tie dye shirt, Lukewarm John Davis, LPE, and Trey Bailey- NO ONE SMOKES NEAR THE DRYER

B- batch

Misha- Oh, quit messing about-

Wafer, Steph, Terry, Dusty, B, Bibby, Tiny, Daniel, The Ghost Baby, the chior boys, Godzilla, Wayne Campbell Delicrioux, The readers, Falco, Meleek, all the rocks on Stephs head, Lopez, Emmy, Keesha, Britney, Hazel (she on fur), Randy, Jenny, Brandy, Le-Roy, An empty gatorade bottle, Darren, Dusty's nut, Dusty touched butt, a fat man and a tie dye shirt, Lukewarm John Davis, LPE, and Trey Bailey- (look confused)

2pac- (pulls out australlian to thuggish translator)(shoots Misha)That hoe.

Mellek- Wat dat ho say Pac?

2pac- Man I gots no idea.

Misha comes back to life and sits on the middle cousin on the right side of the couch.

Wafer, Steph, Dusty, B, Bibby, Tiny, Daniel, The Ghost Baby, the chior boys, Godzilla, Wayne Campbell Delicrioux, The readers, 2pac, Falco, Meleek, all the rocks on Stephs head, Lopez, Emmy, Keesha, Britney, Hazel (she on fur), Randy, Jenny, Brandy, Le-Roy, An empty gatorade bottle, Darren, Dusty's nut, Dusty touched butt, a fat man and a tie dye shirt, Lukewarm John Davis, LPE, and Trey Bailey- You just don't learn do you?

Terry- (while everyone else is talking, drops Amber Jones on Misha's head.)

B- MMM, lesbian pedofile.

Steph- PURKLE!

Wafer, Espically Terry, Dusty, B, Bibby, Tiny, Daniel, The Ghost Baby, the chior boys, Godzilla, Wayne Campbell Delicrioux, The readers, 2pac, Falco, Meleek, all the rocks on Stephs head, Lopez, Emmy, Keesha, Britney, Hazel (she on fur), Randy, Jenny, Brandy, Le-Roy, An empty gatorade bottle, Darren, Dusty's nut, Dusty touched butt, a fat man and a tie dye shirt, Lukewarm John Davis, LPE, and Trey Bailey- (drops rocks and flower pots on Steph's head)

Steph- I gots a head-H

Wafer, Terry, Dusty, B, Bibby, Tiny, Daniel, The Ghost Baby, the chior boys, Godzilla, Wayne Campbell Delicrioux, The readers, 2pac, Falco, Meleek, all the rocks on Stephs head, Lopez, Emmy, Keesha, Britney, Hazel (she on fur), Randy, Jenny, Brandy, Le-Roy, An empty gatorade bottle, Darren, Dusty's nut, Dusty touched butt, a fat man and a tie dye shirt, Lukewarm John Davis, LPE, Trey Bailey, and Wafer again- (drop hanes her way on stephs head)

Tiny- Eh.

The URL to this page- Wafer Ass Mega

Wafer, Steph, Terry, Dusty, B, Bibby, Tiny, Daniel, The Ghost Baby, the chior boys, Godzilla, Wayne Campbell Delicrioux, The readers, 2pac, Falco, Meleek, all the rocks on Stephs head, Lopez, Emmy, Keesha, Britney, Hazel (she on fur), Randy, Jenny, Brandy, Le-Roy, An empty gatorade bottle, Darren, Dusty's nut, Dusty touched butt, a fat man and a tie dye shirt, Lukewarm John Davis, LPE, Trey Bailey, and Amber Jones- WAM!!

B-Stop pasting all those names!

Me- why?

B- Cuz, Im color gay

Me- Oh

Dusty- I ate a rabid racoon last night

Tiny- Yum Bibby- Boo-yah-yah

Emmy grabs Wafer's butt and the love affair begins, but not until 7.8 other hot girls get envolved as well. Then wafer goes UA and gets NJPed. BUT HE DOESNT CARE! Wafer Ass Mega!


The peaseants tire, yet still.. rejoice.

-------------------------------------Second Part-------------------------------------

On the the third Tuesday on the eighth month of the year of the big red Wallet, an assembly of the Wafer Ass Mega


Marines was held at headquarters. The General.. Wafer himslef walked with his Staff. Lt. Generals Ichabod, Smoke Dawg, Wicked D, Tiny, and Joe Ward. When General Wafer stopped in front of the army, everyone snapped to attention. Private Stephanie reported the Battalion.

Wafer! Private ARMY Batch reporting...

Stephanie is cut off short when a boulder drops on her head, being dropped from Lt. Gen Smoke Dawg.

Staff Private Bibby: Ha Ha

Gen Wafer looks to Lt. Gen Ichabod and asks him to spread the annual report.

Lt Gen Ichabod: Yes, this year was good. So far this year we have had over tree huned and fiddy million rocks dropped on Stephanie by Lt. Gen Smoke Dawg. Lt. Gen Wicked D has had 114 nuns, 74 munks, a fat girl named Susie and Sisqo all touch his butt. I have taken over Rwana with a Platoon bearing Slim Jims. But best of all Gen Wafer has beaten Lt. Gen Joe Ward in Royal Flash!

The crwod cheers and everyone is happy. Everyone but Joe Ward. Suddenly Joe Ward scream in anget and... and... destroys the megatouch max machine. Everyone starts to throw watermellons at him so he is forced to run for cover in the lyman lake. But Joe Ward had forgotten. Yes, he had forgotten...THAT HE CANT SWIM!

Reader- What a dumb ass
Me- Shut up freak.

So Joe Ward died. But he came back to life. But now, he was in the Ghost Baby navy. Joe Ward looked around at all the little Ghost Baby Seaman, and he liked it. The Ghost baby came to Joe Ward and they shook hands, causing the alliance of the meanest thing one earth and the oldest guy named joe we know.

Meanwhile, back at Wafer Ass Mega


Lt. Gen Terry calls game on and kickball resumes in the street. Stephanie strikes out... in kickball... so Terry drops a big rock on her head. Then Staff First Class Private Lukewarm John Davis runs into the street and tells everyone about Joe Ward. Gen Wafer clinches his fist and strikes Mark in the balls. Then Terry goes and kicks Afdars dog, damn right. So Ichabod takes up a Jr. Bacon and mounts his chicken and leads a small platoon of chicken riders into the heart of the Ghost baby kingdom, looking for what will come next from Joe Ward.

And the peasents rejoice.

As the fabled chicken riders cruise down Jordan Road in a motorcade of Gremlins...

Reader: If they are Chicken Riders, why are they driving Gremlins?
Me: You wanna write the story?
Reader: OK!!
Me: Shut up.

They pull into Lyman Lake and ready their truest weapons...

Meanwhile, at Wafer Ass Mega


General Wafer was playing Strip Canasta with Terri Runnels and losing quite fairly. Terri Runnels through down the final hand and Wafer removed his boxers to reveal... Another pair of boxers. Ms. Runnels tossed her cards away and left.

General Wafer: I outsmarted the dumb bitch. She'll probably be going to play with her Pomp Pomps now.

Private Stephanie: Monkey!

A rock falls on Steph's head as Lt. Gen. Smoke Dawg tries to look innocent.

Meanwhile back at Lyman Lake...


Reader: WTF?
Me: I can't believe you actually said WTF. Say what the fuck.

Reader: Its just going to get bleeped out!

Me throws the crazy eyes on the reader as "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" plays.

So Ichy and the chicken riders are watching the lake with their truest weapons as the navy slowly rises. There is Joe Ward, Dave Williams, Dave Thomas, Chris Farley, and you guessed it, the Ghost Baby. They are piloting this big fuck off ghost ship.

Ghost Baby: with this ghost ship I'll be able to expose the whole world to my curse. Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

At that moment, Ichabod uses his truest weapon to kill the Ghost Baby.

And the peasants re-->{? Reader: wait wait wait. I mean, good story and all, but thats it? Where's the rest?
Me: Dude, what the fuck. You are the reader. Shut the fuck up and read.
Reader: But you can't kill the Ghost Baby! The story must go on!
Me: Oh alright, shit.

Ichabod actually missed with his truest weapon.

Reader: What is the truest weapon anyway?
Me: You'll find out.

Meanwhile back at Wafer Ass Mega


Wicked D and Smoke Dawg have been rigging up this device. They decide to test it.

Wicked D: Hey steph, come touch my butt.

Steph goes to touch it. Just as she does, a giant electromagnent pops out and attracks the metal ores in an asteroid and it slams into Stephanie. Then it farts on her.

Wicked and Smokey laugh.

Emmy does the belly dance of fame.

And the peasants rejoice and say: And then?

Reader: So what's the truest weapon?

Reader waits and waits an agonizingly long time for a response to his question.

Reader: And then?
Me: And then you shut the hell up. I'm still typing!

So Wicked D and Smoke Dawg are laughing at the asteroid that is still farting on when this ultra pale girl walks up to them.

Ultra Pale girl: Hey there big boys
Smoke Dawg: Dude....your like....pale!
Wicked D: Touch my butt.
The girl touches his Wicked D collapses from it. Smoke Dawg looks at her, as he realizes who it is..

Smoke Dawg: Crickey! Its the Ghost Baby's Older Sister! Remarkably hot....yet....deadly. Holy shit! Back you...back damn you!

Suddenly Wafer comes into the picture as he kicks Lucky in the head by accident. Suddenly, Karpal comes rushing in and throws poo towards the duo. They dodge as it nails Big Sister Ghost Baby in the face. Big Sister Ghost Baby gets pissed, as it reveals to actually be Ghost Baby!

Reader: What the fuck? I thought Ichabod was fighting the Ghost baby!
Me: You writing this shit? Hell no, shut the hell up, you stink!
Reader: I can actually cuss!
Me: You know damn right what you do! Shut up shut up shut up! No more cussing!
Reader: fuck you. Oh wait....nooooooooo!!!!

Karpal: Im going to kill you!
Ghost Baby: What you say?
Karpal: Just kidding! You kicked my dog!
Wafer and Smoke Dawg just shake their head, as they begin to walk away. Wicked D gets to his feet finally, as he follows them.

Smoke Dawg: You dead dumb fuck!
Wicked D: Dude....touch my butt!
Wafer: You still got that asteriod contraption electromagnet thing on it.

Reader: Yeah.....hes trying to trick them.
Me: Shut the hell up!
Reader: How come you can fucking cuss!

Me takes the reader and has them touch Wicked D's butt....Wicked D nods as the reader runs for his life as an asteroid chases him. The three shake their heads, as they walk away leaving the asteroid still farting on Stephanie who has yet another asteroid fall on her farting.

Reader: (in mid stride running) Help me! How did she get another asteroid when she didn't do anything?
Me: I'm telling the story, get to running you fat fuck!

We're now at the Local McDonalds as Joe Ward pulls up in a boat with the rest of the Ghost Baby Legion. He laughs as the girl gets on the drive thru window.

Girl: Can I Help you?
Joe Ward: Can I have a McPenis Fillet?
Girl: What did you say?
Joe Ward: Can I have a McPenis Fillet?
Girl: the other McDonalds down the road.
Joe Ward: What about a Chicken McTesticles?
Girl: Nope....go down the road to the other one.
Joe Ward: Sure you dont have this in some sort of combo?
Girl: No....the other one should have it. its suited to your needs.

Screw that scene, back to Ichabod who is still trying to take down the Ghost Baby with his truest weapon. What it is? Who the fuck knows. But he's using it and missing. The Ghost baby goes for a super inverted relocated kick....through a table. It misses and pulls a groin muscle.

Reader: (Still running from asteroid) Groin muscle? What the crap?
Me: Watch out you stupid idiot!

The reader finally gets nailed by the damn asteroid, it farts. Joe Ward gets his food and goes back to the base. Ichabod is still fighting the Ghost Baby who has secret teleporting abilities. Smoke Dawg, Wafer, and Wicked D are all going back to Wafer Ass Mega!!!


As Pluto lands on Stephanie...cause its like an asteroid. Me....Im with the peasants.....and they rejoice!

Smoke Dawg runs into the room...

Reader#2- What room?
Me- Shut up freak
Reader#2- I am awesome
Me.... Oh hell no. I'M WAFER, THAT'S MY LINE.

The entire Ghost Baby story stops as Wafer grabs this fucking reader. the reader is thrashed, pummeled, slashed, and bashed. The reader begins to cry and Wafer gets the Teenage Mutant Ninja Tutrtles to beat him some more. Then the Locknest munster comes and eats four of the readers toes.

Reader#2 Gimme my toes!
Locknest Munster- That'll be tree fitty bitch.

Wafer then reaches into reader #2's chest and pulls out his soul

Reader #2- MY SOUL!!!
Wicked D- Quiet you.

*Wicked D makes the man touch his but.. yeah then the asteroid thing* Wafer grabs the soul and puts on his cocky basterd shades. He Waferbombs it. He climbs to the top rope.

Announcer- Oh my god, Wafer is going for the 5-star frog splash!1

Wafer instead begins to piss on the soul

Announcer- Ewww

Anyway back to the story. Smoke Dawg walks into a room with his pants down and trips over a penis. Not just any penis, a Eddie Lee Penis, made in China, for all your Eddie Lee Penis needs. Well Smoke Dawg tries to get up and slips on some vomit and lands, butthole first, on the Eddie Lee penis. Then Triple X comes and kicks him in the face. While this is going on, Joe Ward and the Ghost Baby eat a burger at burger King. Joe Ward decides its time to try and take over Wafer ass Mega


and the ghost baby and Joe Ward kick laugh loud and wickedly. But then they get kicked out of the BK. So the ghost baby goes in and pisses in the balls of the playground.

Reader#3- that basterd

So The Ghost Baby Army and Joe Ward all stand in front of Wafer Ass Mega


for ten minutes.................naked

Reader#3- Ewww

Then they put on RWK armor and attack. B sees the attack in the distance and charges his chicken platoon. Gen Wafer sees the Ghost Baby navy as he stands on top of Wafer ass Mega


watching the start of this war. Smoke Dawg hits the pause button Me- WTF?
Wicked D- LOL
B- YOU ####ER!!!
Smoke Dawg- Sorry had to drop a rock on steph.

Terry drops some gravel from his diveway on top of Pluto. For the first time, Steph screams in pain




Marines stand ready as the Ghost Baby Navy charges. And the poesants rejoice

Suddenly the film breaks and a hotdog man, a drink man, a spoon woman, and an icecream cone dance across the screen.

Food people: Lets go out to the kitchen, lets go out to the kitchen, lets go out to the kitchen and have ourselves a snack

Reader #4: That was pointless

Reader #4 dies mysteriously, then comes back in Guam as Chris begins pummeling him with a meat mallet.

Hulk Hogan stands up in the back of a theatre and looks toward the projectionist.

Terry hogan: Can we get this going? I'm tired of this ghost baby story getting interrupted. These people came here to see this movie, now let the fans see it!

The theatre is full of peasants and they rejoice as Hogan rips off his shirt.

Reader #9: A theatre? I thought this was a reading story.
Reader #98: What happened to the other readers.
Hogan gets fed up and Hulkamania runs wild. I'll leave you to imagine that.

So the Navy rushes at the Wafer Ass Mega


Marines. The tension builds as they get closer and closer. The blink of an eye, the twitch of a lip, a bead of sweat runs down Wicked D's ass...

Then Chris, the roomate of B comes up and in the gayest voice ever says

"I want to be a Load Specialist on the C-140 in the air force"

everyone, the navy and the marines laugh at chris and he goes home and masturbates to dog porn.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the Gobi Desert, Staff Sgt. Diehl and Tiny are still wandering around looking for Jim Morrison and that wierd naked indian.

Staff Sgt. Diehl: Synapse your ass over that dune, Tiny

Tiny: Hot.

After the laughter is finished at Wafer Ass Mega


the Ghost Baby disappears, leaving its navy behind

Smoke Dawg: what a fucker.
Me: ok I lied. It didn't disappear.
So finally the troops clash. People fight all around. People are dying... and getting back up. Its war of the fuckin worlds here.

Then i flip of night of the living dead and decide to finish up my portion of the story.

And the peasants rejoice...

So both sides are fighting. The Wafer Ass Mega!!!


Marines on one side and the Ghost Baby Navy on the other. Lethal forces such as Wicked D, Ichabod, Wafer, and Smoke Dawg...well, Smoke Dawg isn't all that lethal, he's just here because we felt sorry for him. Wicked D, Ichabod and Wafer were keeping the forces of the Navy at bay until something odd happens. Someone steps onto the battlefield....with an electromagnet attached to their ass like Wicked D has. Wicked D sees this and charges. He runs wildly and jumps at the person and smacks him in the face with his...ass magnet. They then duel off in an ass magnet contest. Meteors and asteroids cloud the sky now and hurrel down at them and beat them both senslessly. The imposter ass magnet fails and dies, but D's ass magnet falls off and D collapses on the ground. All the while, the battle ensues around them. Smoke Dawg, who is hiding behind and Elder Berry Bush runs to help D to safety.

Smoke Dawg: Dude, are you alright.
Wicked D: Pancreas.

Reader: Wait, I thought Wicked D was a real bad ass and couldn't be hurt. Wicked D: That's why it's called a STORY. *D smacks reader*

Smoke Dawg drags Wicked D into Wafer Ass Mega..


While Wafer and Ichabod fight the rest of the Ghost Baby Navy. Suddenly, as if by some stroke of God.......God appears on the battlefield.

God: People. Do not fight with anger. Fight with love, for you should all love each other.. Violence is not the answer.
Ghost Baby: You know, he's right. I've been trying to kill these guys for years. It's time I take a vacation. Ichabod: Yeah, you're right. I'm horny.
Wafer: Let's make a truce.
Smoke Dawg: Good Idea.

When the Ghost Baby and the WAFER ASS MEGA


Marines get close to hug. Ichabod, Smoke Dawg, Wafer, and Wicked D who ate a Senzu Bean and restored his energy pounce on the unsuspecting Ghost Baby and rip it's clothes off. The Ghost Baby runs off covering it's pale naked white ass. The soldiers laugh.

Wicked D: Thanks for the help God.

God raises a hand to to his face and pulls at it, removing a mask and revealing it's none other than.......................................................................................................................................................................................................*DRUM ROLL*.........................................................................................................................................................................................................................This is so suspensfull...............................................................................................................................................................

ME: Hey, who said you could cuss.
Reader: I'm sick of not cussing. You guys abuse me and treat me like shit. WHY?
ME: Well if you would keep your fucking mouth shut and just keep reading then this wouldn't happen....Besides, you don't have to read this anyways. You obviously like us since you are always getting your ass kicked yet you keep coming back to read the next installment of the Ghost Baby story.
Reader: Good point.
ME: Of course it is, now shut the fuck up and keep reading.

.........and God is revealed to be.................................WICKED D, with an Ichabod Head beside his, and a Wafer Head beside the Ichabod head, and a Smoke Dawg head protruding from the chest. The Wafer Ass Mega....


Marines gasp in horror at the site of yet a Stephanie head in place of where the crotch would be. Then, the sky is blackened and a rumble is heard as Mt. Kilamanjaro falls on the multi headed beast.

Ichabod: Smokey, that wasn't Stephanie though.
Smoke Dawg: It had a Stephanie head, that counts as being Stephanie. Right?
Wafer: I don't know.
Wicked D: Sure, why not....Makes sense.

The four warriors proceed to walk into Wafer Ass Mega.....


When they are all attacked from behind by one monstrous being...............

And the Peasants rejoiced in a mournful way.





Reader: What was the fucking monsterous being behind Smoke Dawg, Wafer, Ichabod, and Wicked D.
Me: If you shut your damn mouth, maybe I could get to is.

So the reader shuts his mouth as for approximately 13432 minutes.....the world watches a cat lick its butt. The reader thinks about speaking when Smoke Dawg drops a boulder on him, as Chris Conner walks by with a mop up his ass, when the Oakland Raider Cheer squad comes by, flashing the whole crowd, then this big fat, ugly, just rank guy walks by.

Guy: Hey big man lemme hold a dollar!
Me: Shut the fuck up Im trying to tell a story here!
Smoke Dawg: Seriously, get on with it.
Ichy: Get On with it!
Baltimore Raven Cheer Squad: Get on with it!
Another reader: What the dookie? I thought they were from Oakland.
I drop a boulder on that other reader because dammit you are supposed to be watching this not reading, you stupid fucks! So....I get on with it with the Balitmore Raven Cheer Squad.....

Oh yeah, back to the there they were....four crusaders looking at the biggest challenge of all.....ICE!

Wafer: ICE? Thats what was behind us? Man, thats fucking wack!

Wicked D: ICE. ICE. Hey, if you say ICE with a yankee accent it sounds kinda like ASS.!

Ichy: ICE....what a joke!

Smoke Dawg: No people....this is ICE....the same guy that.....wait.....fuck that.

Conner comes back by with a mop on up his ass still, dropping to his knees giving ICE twenty bjs. Smoke Dawg and crew are just all "Ewww what the fuck!?!" and they fight to see who will get to push the damn rock button. Suddenly, in the middle of Wafer Ass Mega!


A semi just plows through the two queers, seemingly not hurting anything else in site.

Smoke Dawg: What the fuck is up with that?
Wafer: I dunno.

So here comes the Ghost Baby Navy again, when the four just sit back, pulling out the guns from various games like Turkey Hunt, AREA 51, Time Crisis, and other such video games...and plow through the Ghost Baby Navy.

Over here in bum fuck Egypt

Reader: Bum fuck Egypt?
Me: Problems?
Me: Shut the hell up!

So like I was saying, over here Ghost Baby is just walking around, because some how it got away from the battle its navy is losing. The Croc Hunter comes into the deal tho....

Croc Hunter: Crikey....heres the Ghost Baby, what a specimen this here is. It is a massively feared creature as it has the power to kill you and bring you back to life. I dont know what thats all about, but I heard when you tease it, it gets mad. Hmm.....look at it shine in the sun, the damn lil bugger has pale skin like a nut sac, its pretty pathetic if you ask me. Lets poke at it an laugh!

He pokes and laughs, the Ghost baby does its thing killing him off, only to have him return to continue. The Ghost baby just says fuck it to itself, and pees all over him, dissolving him into a large puddle of......something.

Wafer, Smoke Dawg, Wicked D, and Ichy are all watching this in a nice lounge at Wafer Ass Mega!


As the peasants come in....sit down....touch D's butt, get hit by farting asteroids....then rejoice as sand fleas fly at Wafer Ass Mega!


CODE EARL!! CODE EARL!!The sandfleas fly through the air toward the Wafer Ass Mega


Marines... but halfway they all fall dead and fall to the floor.

Ghost Baby: fuckin curse

Meanwhile, in the Gobi Desert:

Staff Sgt. Diehl: Hey Tiny, what do you think caused the Ghost Baby?
Tiny: Gwemwins
Staff Sgt. Diehl: Gwemwins? What the fuck is a Gwemwin?
Tiny: Monsters
Staff Sgt. Diehl: Oh you mean those creatures that live at the center of the earth like on Looney Tunes?
Trey Spaz Bailey: I can do one handed pull ups.
Staff Sgt. Diehl does the jack off motion while looking at Trey with a look of making fun of him. Reader 12: When did Spaz get in the desert?

Me stares at Reader 12

Reader 12: Sorry!

So it begins to rain at Wafer Ass Mega


LPE: The cars are getting wet.

The Navy decides to do their second wave attack, but are cut short when everyone suddenly decides to have vegemite burgers. Then they all realize they are not vegans and instead eat juicy steaks. A very very very fuckin hot model walks by in scanty leather.

Strict Vegan Reader: Hey thats not right! I'll be aroused by that, but I won't like it!!

Someone calls a Code Random

Wafer ignites a fart.

Ichabod does a handstand.

Smoke Dawg does the Tiny Wiggle.

Chris throws cards in the air.

Stephanie juggles three asteroids.

Tiny buries his head in the sand.

Wicked D does a naked moonsault through a flaming hoop.

The peasants spit on a statue of Jebediah Springfield and then rejoice...and then?