Pining
I don't know what to tell you; The reader. Frankly and honestly I could care less what you think. I didn't ask you to live my life, and I would never do so. What I have done for you; The reader; Is given you my heart and soul, everything that I was and ever will be in these pages. If you don't like it than stop reading, but don't tell me to "Take it easy", or "Everything's gonna be ok.."..because it wont. I am not asking for your symapthy or empathy. All that I do ask is that you be gentle..You- The reader; Keep in mind that you and I are different people, and have different ways of dealing with things..Remember that when you are reading. Don't hate me because I have the balls to write about, what people have thought about for so long. I am not scared and I have nothing to hide. Don't hate me because of this, but don't evny me for it either.. We all are humans- We all have feelings. Some cry. Some write. Some sing. Yeah we all have our ways..We all live and breathe; Well some of us do anyway..
When you bleed just to know your alive...
Page 2
From the depts of my soul
There is a darkside to the human soul that is filled with conflict and torment.
It is a side of the human soul that few people are brave enough to explore--Me
I sit here on the phone listening to
you
Your voice once bright and vivid now fades
Into the distance
Into my memory
**New pages and poetry have been added**
***New Pics and Pages Added***
Senseless dreams
Blanketed in the soft lining of the unconcious
Battling with the fantasies of a lifetime and the
cold
lust of fear
From the heated conversations with the darkened
mind;
rise a million reruns
Once extinct, the memories now are reawakened from
a
desperate past
Like fingerprints, these memories will always be a
part of the nocturnal soul
A countdown to reality, though the credits never
roll
Needing a solitary space for mind to hide
Where the only decision is to live or let die
Night time drills and eyes full of madness
These dreams cause an unwillingness to rest
Don't close your eyes
The evil waiting behing the tiny crevices in your
iris
Is the fate you must face when laying down to sleep
Fighting the unconcious with every breath
Begging to be in the safety of your own thoughts
I am Death.
I am a mystery that has yet to be solved.
My face is unknown.
I am hidded within the darkness.
I am blackened, opaque between good and evil.
Souless and grave....
I am a bullet to your head and a knife to your
throat.
I am suicide, muder, homiced.
I have no hope.
I am cocaine, heroine, and crack.
I am the sting in your nose.
The powdered nothingness in your mouth.
I am the alcohol in you liver.
The drunkenness in your sway.
The disheveled voices in you mind.
The sour taste in your throat.
I am the drug in your veins.
The addictin for more.
The hallucinations behind your eyes.
I am a manipulator of fear.
I deliver nightmares to those who sleep.
I am insomnia.
Frustration, agony, and pain.
I am a theif of friends and families.
Taking innocent victims at random.
I am the blood that pours endlessly from severed
veins.
I am the paralysis that strikes suddenly,
The car that crashes violently,
And the illness that threatens slowly.
I can be peaceful,
Like a gently traveling wave.
I can be rude and decietful,
It is said that I appear on unlucky days.
I am the enemy that has the gun,
The disease that holds you still,
The memories that give no will.
Somtimes I will fade,
Maybe disapear,
Sometimes I will disgrace youf or years.
I never comprimise,
I take what it mine,
I give in to no lies.
For I am even the lie that will exit your mouth.
I am bold and boastful of courage.
I am destined to fulfill my role of character.
I am frightening, horrid, and cursed upon.
Everyone has and will run into me.
I am the demons that visit on Halloween.
I am the little girl's scream.
I am the dreams that decompose in your head.
Take you to your death,
No need to leave your bed.
Taste the bittersweet wine from the white of my
neck.
The golden red syrup raging in the intwined vessels
within my wrist.
Bless me with your eternal kisses.
Trace my eyes with yours
And my body's flesh with your fingers.
Envelop me in you icy coldness and give my
justification.
Let me be your goddess.
Be my dark angel.
My lover.
I will suffice only if your body's life trickles
into
mine.
Devour my blood.
I long for your bite.
Angel With Torn Wings
Stark black, the color of your wings, omniscent
Dark Angel.
The intense emerald of your thick eyes entices me.
The pale glow of your undead skin reveals the
bluest
veins underneath, and I watch as your river of
blood
flows to every corner of your soul.
Dark red tresses fall to your waste,
cascading down around you like a shimmering a cape.
I am the shadow wunder your nightmarish wings.
The one who hides, the bird without flight.
Oh, My Angel.
Your fantastic fairytale beauty makes my heart
almost
brittle to the touch.
When will I ever be like you?
Graceful.
Creature of the night and its intimate gestures.
Taste my sweetness, let me into your world.
No longer do I wish to be a shadow.
Your wings will set me free.
Your fangs will bring about my awakening.
I love thee, omniscent one.
Sorrow encases what once was....
I breathe deep, the headache does not fade.
With every second I spend in my Dark Angel's arms,
With every bite of her searching teeth....
I become addicted....
Cataclysm: In my heart and in my blood.....
The desires for her ghost-like body and her painful
kisses are out to destroy me.
Sometimes there is no cure except the
knowing.....This
may be one of those times.
And as I make shallow love to myself, I fantasize
for
her lurking fingers in the darkness.
I am a shadow underneath her opaque wings.
Shall I suffer eternal damnation for experiencing
madness and passion with the undead......
I welcome it with open veins.
Her eyes are of the purest fire, if I must
burn.....I
wish to burn within them
Lust into ashes.
Malice; an unguided tour through a plotting
mind,
Thoughts of care left behind.
Twisted motives in disguise,
Days grow weary, left without a will to rise.
Masked symptoms of insanity,
Such holds crazed games of vanity.
The tired heart beats the true meaning of love,
Wallowing through puddles of guilty blood.
Hidden driveways in the tortured brain,
Smelling the scents of insecticide and decay.
There is no deliverance from the paranoid,
There are no rational dreams or stories with
morals.
You're unanswered when seeking out solid truths
that
are drowning under a life of unbalanced lies.
Always misunderstood and sentenced to unquenchable
thirsts and bloodshot eyes.
Raging hate overwhelms the body and soul,
I can not shake the feeling of heading down a
darkened
and endless hole.
The blood is evil, thick, and red, like velvet,
wishing to run and escape.
As cold as the ice that pumps erratically in a
madman's uncaring heart.
You have been lost and found in a mind that can't
be
rid of malice, and it's tearing this world apart.
At stale dusk,
making out your figure through opaque fog,
you're so visible despite.
Never imposed upon.
I have a longing and wistful eye.
A vaulting eagerness for your presence about me.
I pray you're never distant,
for I adore you to the extreme.
You give me sanctuary from all circumstance and
anguish.
I am without panic in your embrace.
To my sight, you posses no flaws.
Fire envelops your hazel eyes and I desire to stay
behind them.
I enjoy it when you smile and laugh.
You wrap me in bliss.
And at dawn,
making out your features through tired eyes,
I realize that I live to wake in your warmth
Everyday I'm
Emptiness spreading
Darkness not forgiving
My insides desecrating
As shadows of loneliness
Swarm around
Darkness bound
Death peering through dead eyes
Every day
I get a little closer
It gets a little easier
To turn anger to hate
And abandon my mental state
Let the pain bleed through my soul
As the seeds of life
Fall into the black abyss
Never to regenerate
Every day
I realize more and more
All which I held so close
The song
The night
The seduction
Are temporary distractions
Dismal unsatisfactions
Programmed reactions
Then one day
The day you finally find me
It will be true irony
That all you see
Is a rotting corpse
Of what used to be
The soul of a princess
Soars the blackened skies
Searching for a fairy tale
Beneath the mounting lies
The heart of a princess
Sails along the darkest sea
Showering you with feelings
Of peace and serenity
Her scent is like forbidden secrets
Like dark things better left unsaid
Searching for her prince
Finding demons instead
She's bravely drank the poison
Often disguised as wine
Tasting the bitterness of death
And surviving it just fine
The princess holds great power
As many are aware
Some cannot control themselves
As they're forced to stop and stare
Her beauty is like darkness
Dominating your sight
Her touch is an addiction
Flaming fingers of delight
In the dark recesses of your mind
Surrender to the dream
Allow the princess to guide you
Taking you to the extreme
She'll help the stars fulfill your wishes
Lighting up the blackest night
She'll bring happiness you deserve
Don't let her out of your sight
When love sings to me
When I hear the melodies
I can live on that song
For a hundred centuries
When love touches me
I come alive once more
The wild waves of passion
Makes my insides almost sore
When love whispers my name
My heart breaks down the wall
Pushing away any doubts
And I begin to fall
But when the love song fades
Silence summons tears
Loneliness brings the silent sound
My dying soul now hears
When love's touch becomes numb
It takes a lot of time
To live with repeating memories
And put it all behind
When love forgets your name
Leaving you alone once again
The wall is built much stronger
And darkness is your only friend
For whatever reason
Someone finds you
Someone holds you
Someone wants you
Someone loves you
Sweet invitations
Dark sensations
Fierce temptations
Probing examinations
Intimate relations
Stimulating pulsations
Aware of the dangers
You let yourself fall
Let yourself need
Let yourself trust
Your mind is stolen
Your heart is taken
All the while drowning
In a black sea of fantasy
Then the music changes
Laughter melts into searing tears
Every touch leaves a scar
No longer speaking the same language
No longer hearing the same words
No longer wanting the same things
The final confrontation
To a blackened destination
Leaves complete devastation
Abundant aggravation
An inconsolable revelation
Without justification
For whatever reason
Someone loses
Someone lets go
Someone wants something else
Someone is no longer in love
Someone walks away
"Black Star"
Radiohead
I get home from work and you're still
standing
in your dressing gown
Well what am I to do?
I know all the things around your head and what
they
do to you
What are we coming to?
What are we gonna do?
Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky
Blame it on the satellite that beams me home
The troubled words of a troubled mind I try to
understand what is eating you
I try to stay awake but its 58 hours since that I
last
slept with you
What are we coming to?
I just don't know anymore
Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky
Blame it on the satellite that beams me home
I get on the train and I just stand about now that
I
don't think of you
I keep falling over I keep passing out when I see a
face like you
What am I coming to?
I'm gonna melt down
Blame it on the black star
Blame it on the falling sky
Blame it on the satellite that beams me home
This is killing me
This is killing me
© Rage Of Angels 2002
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