Delitaya trilogy
Her cold stare, covered the loving heart
So trusting, so loving, not one she despised
Never hurt, innocent, pure, the vision of grace
Daughter of a goddess, the one who shall rise
Her assention cut short,
By love and by greed
Her mothers impatience,
Made her heart bleed
The one who was there,
To put her together
One with a crown
The one adorned with holy feathers
The crown in compitition
For the divine chair
Another goddess's descendant
The one who was there
Her beauty outshown
The brightest star
Somthing inside them
Knew who they are
To unite the two houses
To bring peace to their land
There must exist the unity
To outlast times sand
But the blindness of their mothers
Led to a war
The kingdoms were broken
And their love grew soar
They escaped in time,
But lost the bond
They grew empty inside
And forgot what was beyond
Somthing missing,
in both our renewed lives
Continuing the cycle,
Retelling the lies
As the dust settles
On that cloudy dawn
She is seen there
Standing amid the fallen
Her noble pose
As she bleeds inside
Preparing for the life
She will gain when she died
I closed my eyes to her
That fateful day
When I lost myself
And ran away
Traveling forever,
I remember me
The forgotten life
Of who I used to be
This once royal warrior
Slain for love
Who sacrificed her heart
For her people above
Her destiny unfulfilled
Now given to me
For I am delitaya!
Or that's who I used to be...
The name I haven’t spoken in years
Has finally come back.
It haunts me again
Shines on all I lack
This new journey
Continuing our crusade
Foreseen ages ago
The night I was betrayed
The night the coldness descended
Over my shattered world
Knowing what I must loose again
To gain what has unfurled
Is it still there?
The strength of agianti
I lost it with you
When I entered the sea
I can no longer feel you,
I’ve been gone too long
The battle that I started
All the things I did wrong
Where is the wise queen?
Who was to bring peace
Imaging from the funeral embers
A beautifuly deceiving beast
Dusk falls on the ill-fated fool
Sacrifices her life for reasons unclear
Her once noble cause, now empties and raped
Her cavalry dead, or retreated in fear
She stands alone, broken and defeated
One with nothing left to loose
To embrace the second sword thrust herself unto the dagger
Is this what she’ll choose?
The past guardian of her original being,
Is now enemy to her. She has no home
The one which was destroyed
Is no longer welcoming her return
The humanity she was to embrace,
Has rejected her abused vessel
She grows hallow, lifeless inhuman
In the one vision of pure grace she fell
Broken she attempts to regain herself
Seeking the love she let herself loose before
Too many illnesses plague her mortal body
She starts to question what she is fighting for
Her hope is lost, her love is abused
She is falling into a deep despair
Is this the end of the mighty queen?
Is her destruction due to love so rare?
I had a dream that you returned,
I had a dream that I learned,
The world's not fucked,
That I am what
Caused the world to burn
Weep blood for love gone stale
My mission here, I always fail
Now I bear your cross
And mine I’ve lost
Somewhere along the trail
Fork in the road
There is no right turn
One way I’ll fall
The other I’ll burn
Cold statues
Of angels and shrines
As my heart rots,
Your beauty shines.
Never let go of my bleeding wrists,
Every lie further insists
The chain that bonds
Me, no one responds
To the bondage in which I twist
I won’t make it to the end to see
The destruction of earth, of my lunacy
Empty pain,
Which in me reigns
For mercy i constantly plea
I don’t want to become who I’m supposed to be
I wished your love would set me free
But I don’t know what move to make
The hole in my vein was my only escape
In you, I will never reach the key
Loved you so much,
Gave you my soul,
And lost grasp of you
If only I hadn’t sold my self control
They never warned
It would last an eternity
Let me out of bondage
I know now You’ll never free me
I have a habit of shattering my own dreams
Chorus:
You try to hide it
The secrets I confided
But you can not fight it
You’re too misguided
I can fight
But I’ll never win
I pay the price
For both our sin
I’ll loose myself
But it’s OK
I’ll learn to love you
Some other way
Preconceptions
Torn apart
Expectations
Taken to heart
My reputation
Is an art
This deception
Will tear us apart
Chorus
Counting madly
The hours pass
No one to hold
Laying on the broken glass
Nothing new
Nothing to hold
Everything is gone
We’ve grown too old
Behind closed doors
All the atrocities
I wanted more,
Done onto me
The room at the end of the hall
Where the candle burned itself out
The lie I’m entombed in
Shackled by self doubt
Refrain 1:
Trapped inside
The human zoo
You cant save me
I cant save you
Refrain 2:
Save me from my wretched skin
Decaying outside dead within
Save me from my wretched skin
Decaying outside dead within
The impure virgin sees what she's done
Masturbating with a loaded gun
One false move ends all her fun
She pushed too hard (she’s not the only one)
Follow the happy trail into paradise
Pucker up or pay the price
If you’re good, we’ll do it twice
But if your not you’re on thin ice
What do I have to do to entice you?
Do we have to use a device too?
Delighted children
Mouths open on their knees
Eyes full of wonder
Pleasure drowns out their sweet pleas
Suicidal mentors
Preaching life
Go home each night
And play with a knife
Noble politicians
Moral anti-strife
Behind closed doors
Beats his wife
The product of society
The child of American values
Everyone burns their own fuse
Then complain about it in the news
Shallow people
Rewarded for their deceptions
But there are always
Some exceptions
The ones de-masked
Shown for who they are
Are shunned and shamed
Then run to the bar
Trapped in the room with no doors
Hidden away on misty moors
Transported to oceans of the dead
Bathed in light, so cold and red
Blankets of rain shield my face
Enveloped snow covered grace
When we reach the end of time
This will be our biggest crime
Riding the snow flakes to where ever it will take
Carried off by the wind
To our celestial sea
I want to escape
From this eternal night
Lying, dying with you
My dying rose
Covered in snow
The last winged unicorn
My sweet angel
The final leaf
In a winters storm
Blown about the tempestuous winds
Frost bites its courageous side
As she struggles to stay alive
Wishes in the realm of the dead
The fantasies of a dying girl
Prayers of the fallen
It still stands
Majestic and fragile
It won’t let go
It refuses to die
We stand-alone
Hanging perilously on the edge
Being pushed and pulled
Being killed
I will not apologize
I will not let go
I will conquer
I will live
The beauty of god
No eye shall see,
Because everyone's drowning
In humanity’s sea
Not god, but man
Created in his image
Externally human
Ruled by internal rage
The search, the sight
Our final flight
When we lost our wings
And were taught to fight
I put you away
Never wanted to see you again
Feared what you did to me
Feared all the pain
The side of me I hide from the world,
The side you’ve never seen
The side I hide from myself
The person I used to be
A good reason to die,
An even better reason to live
Although my body’s bound to earth
My spirit’s free
From everything, this world holds dear,
The atrocities, all the hypocrisy
Everything it loves and fears
Trapped but not part of this world,
Living in a lost reality of fate
We the only residents,
Looking for an escape
I am who you are afraid to be
The seemingly unleashed freak
The only free one among you
The only one who tries to seek
The one who sees the truth,
You are nothing but puppets
And can not feel love
What I have been seeking
Only exists above
In loosing my humanity,
I’ve gained a gift
One I can not use
Until I seal the rift
That I created
In loving one of you,
Cuz I see myself in her
One of the few
One of my people
One who left home
To retain my life
To protect the throne.
Somthing I can’t touch
For fear of loosing myself in this shit,
Since I’ve lost my soul to you,
Just fuck it.
The world I live in,
Is not one that exists
I constructed it for escape
Because I can not live in your world
I don’t belong; I don’t fit in,
But now my world is dying
And I must go with it
Your world brings me pain
Because I can’t be with you in it
In my world, we are one
Joined forever, I want to stay with you
I watch myself in your world
Walking around, a vacant shell
Through my eyes, I see what’s not really there
Because what is inside me, I can not hold
It spills into others, then destroys them
And I am left with the guilt, I choose not to feel
But with loving you, my emotions returned
And I can not take all the pain I’ve refused to feel
Because I’ve always been shut off from the world
Being alone was all I could do.
As long as I didn’t love anyone, I couldn’t hurt anyone
And I couldn’t be hurt. I saved their lives by not living mine
I’ve closed my eyes, been bound to my delusional world
I can never escape it. Because I use it to escape reality
I no longer belong in either,
I wish we could create a new world
Where we are really together
Where there is no need for pain
Where love rules over. But I know that will never happen
I don’t deserve it. And even if you choose to do this for me
It wouldn’t be out of love. You’d do this to help me get better.
Your heart wouldn’t be in the right place
But in my world it is, and we are
So, you will leave me
As my mind kills me
And we will never be together
I hope you find a new love.
So, I send you out as I shut down
Never look back, just take the crown
Give it to the next, give it to the child
She will carry on my legacy
So, please let me drown
Or you can choose to save me
But in doing so you must agree
To stay with me, and take our cross
Love me and let me hold you
And be with me forever, if you can see.
i love you and i want to be with you
but if you know that i do
and that influences your feelings
then i will never know if you love me because you feel it
or if it's to comfort me as i die
I’ve lost control
I can feel myself falling
I wish I could hold you one more time
But it’s too late. I am gone
I want to jump
Trough the flames with you
See the truth in your stare
The flames dance (free as your garland adorned hair)
As we are entranced
They reflect in your eyes
The world around us dies
We are alone
Together at last
Waiting for so long
We can forget about our past
Our white gowns
Reflect in the moons light
The glow of the embers and fire
Warm us as we hold each other tight
All the pain and fear washes away
In our sweet embrace
Never felt this safe before
We are beyond grace
Standing by her altar
I can see the spirit
The third, the most powerful
Her godliness was inherited
The orbs of light
Shining into my soul
she unites the two
Who must rule it all
Her candles burned
As she spoke of fate
How I must join
With the one I hate
My mothers grudge
Against the other house
I must set aside
And my name I must renounce
We are to run away,
She told me
That he will unite our spirits
When we have learned to see.
We were made blind
And thrown into misery
And found each other
Now I see
But she can not
And I am lost
Waiting for the third
To melt the frost
That covers our hearts
And bond our souls
So we can end the feud
For which the bell tolls
I watched her smoke
Show the symbols i bear
Imprinted in my mind
To pure and so rare
We must unite the trinity
And ascend to our fate
Bathe in the naked light
Before she finds another mate
Waiting
Waiting for you
Regretingly, wait for you to fall
Pathetic, i wait for you to call
When you want me, i will be here
When you need me, I will be waiting
When you see me, I’ll show you who we are
I will catch you when you start your decent
I have fallen in this hole many times before
Praying, someone to save me, to weak to crawl
Waiting for you to call,
I’ll catch your when you fall
Cast a spell,
to release the shame
Cut my vein,
To release my pain
Waiting
Waiting for you
When you want me, i will be here
When you need me, I will be waiting
When you see me, I’ll show you who we are
I can’t watch her do this to herself,
End up in the grave i buried myself in
I have to save her, its to late for me
If only someone saved me, i will do that for her
Her beauty apparent to me,
I seem ugly to myself
Two angelically demonic sirens
Beauty on the outside,
Empty inside
Together, one, a person,
beyond all people,
the key to the balance,
the circle itself.
Waiting
Waiting for you
When you want me, i will be here
When you need me, I will be waiting
When you see me, I’ll show you who we are
It didn’t happen the way it has before
This time I had to loose so much more
I didn’t hear the glass break
I didn’t fell the room shake
I didn’t hear the devils hiss
As I felt his sweet kiss
Didn’t know that this was real
Didn’t know the pain I’d feel
Never survived its coming
This body’s too sick for it, it’s dying
I can’t support the devil’s child
Nor accept love tender and mild
Utterly hopeless to fight the conception
It is what I’m here for, to aid his deception
I will help to destroy the world
But I will never be happy
I never lived
I lie no more
I’m nothing but
The devils whore
I can smile. I can laugh
While the evils taking over me
All you do is sit and stare
As silent words, fill the air
Smile at me I smile at you
Turn your back; turn away
I am satisfied because I’ve lied
I know you’d never stay
All songs are poems
Some poems can be songs
The song you sing packs a sting
And torments when I’m wrong
Failing me, I’m failing you
Let me down in advance
Can never trust; it only rusts
We took the biggest chance
I can smile. I can laugh
While the evils taking over me
All you do is sit and stare
As silent words, fill the air
I can’t come back; I’m too far-gone
I don’t know who you are
Always knew that nothing’s true
Left me with invisible scars
Your attitude is so frustrating
This world we’ve built is obliterating
There’s nothing left but waiting
And constant abating
I wish you could see me now
On the grown crying but strong
You made me dizzie. You didn’t see me
And I didn’t see anything was wrong
I can smile. I can laugh
While the evils taking over me
All you do is sit and stare
As silent words, fill the air
The silence hangs
Me by the neck
You say nothing
Elle Mae
Turned night to day
To see if she’s still dead
Elle Mae
Fights today
Or at least that’s what she said
Elle Mae
She can not stay
Her world is falling down
Elle Mae
She has to pay
For all of those who frown
Elle Mae
Told me she may
Kill us all and end her pain
Elle Mae
She had to say
There’s so much more to gain
Elle Mae
Went her own way
Built up her confidence
Elle Mae
Those thoughts betray
Pleaded self defense
Elle Mae
Couldn’t stay away
She is now awake
Elle Mae
Was her, otay?
But killed her for my sake
Stepping through the mirror
Falling with the sands
Time is slipping away
With you
Pay me back in words
They display their worth
Find meaning in pointlessness
Find beauty in this hurt
It’s never deep enough
It’s never good enough
When I think it’s over
Another wave hits me
Starring into my own eyes every moment
I don’t want to acknowledge what I see
The eyes of pain, streaming guilt
But no remorse
The eyes of a tyrant, the eyes of a child
Innocence locked with atrociousness
Light trapped in darkness
Hatred wrapped in love
Blind I am, you stole my eyes
I sometimes drown in yours
Nevertheless, the past will forever haunt me
I can’t escape my tyranny
I stare at my eyes and they look back
Penetrating, sundering ...
Haunting and taunting
Vex me... hex me... leave me hear
As it wrecks me
Kill me or fill me
Never ever do it just to thrill me
You have reached the point
I strive so hard to be
I see your past is where I am
And you have no time for me
I love seeing you fall
As much as, I love you
So, I can catch up
You’re so far away, it’s true
I thought I knew
The real you
But the outside shit...
You keep changing it...
So, I follow your lead
To see what I created
Then you fall and I fall
Into fits of self hatred
I can smile at your misery
While feeding off my own
It gives my rage strength
Substitutes everything I’ve never known
I can feel the evil in me
You awakened it you created it
I’ve already merged with yours
Purity has become the wicked
Does anybody see?
Everything is dead
Could you ever see,
What’s in my head
Nobody
Nobody
Nobody
Nobody
Nobody
I’m alone
You can’t see
What’s taking me,
From you
And you just sit there
Smiling, not knowing
The battle I’m fighting
Against myself
I won’t fight for you
I’ve been killing me enough
Looking back
All I did, was hurt myself
It got me nowhere
I am nowhere
I am no one
The fine line
Between love and hate
Has been torn and rapped
And now the mere mention of your name,
The sight of your face,
Once sparked such tender love,
Now raises the rage in me,
Grows hate with so much intensity
Far outshines the ‘love’ I felt
All I did, was delude myself
I have to kill you
To free myself
I can’t keep living for you
I can’t die for this false cause
I’ve lost too much for you
I’ve given up everything
I killed us for the weakest thing
Killed everybody selfishly
And I don’t care
I will kill everybody
I have no remorse
I don’t care what I do
No one deserves to live
Especially us
Then I see you
This feeling sweeps over me
Like the waves of Neptune
And I can’t escape my fate
I can’t escape you.
She's never alone
She feels so isolated
Emptiness taunted by their whispers
The people she created
She can't trust herself
Can't trust her mind
It's taking her away
To a place lost to time
Her blood, her flame
The visions in her head
Spontaneous existence
Inevitably dead
Harbinger of feelings that she can not deny
Reprieved once more to constantly live within a lie
Would there be a difference if she should once more die?
Or would you go on (killing her) and never even cry...
Meaningless existence... mortality
Humanity’s whisper in cosmic wind
The god’s game, cursed us with reality
Eternal torture for we who have sinned.
Anarchy’s reign ov’re civilization
We have no impact on forever
Free spirits trapped in domestication
We’ll be free once more in death.... Or never.
Hopelessness conquered by loves divine kiss
Envied by treacherous heaven and hell
Both of which joined eternally by this
Till non-existent “time’s” end) bells shall knell.
Entombed in silence’s deadly embrace
Mortals shunned. Divinity’s disgrace.
Sweet oblivion, misery’s escape
Chasing illicit beauty forever
Seeking this love in the nights cold drape
Silence disturbed by a nervous quiver
Unadulterated love I do seek
I will never have, for I am filled
With pain and hatred, mount... and at its peak,
Is you... Standing alone... the torment stilled.
I would save myself for the sake of you
Yet inside me, self-destruction remains
The dead die again, I am too far-gone too
Your light shines on me, shadowing my pains
Cold tears shall drip down your angelic face
And frozen in a bloody cup for taste
My bitter lips on your sweet soft silken skin
Time does not exist, nothing here is real
My life is engulfed in shadows of sin
Consciousness a curse, know not what i feel.
Over powered by violent surge of rage
My body a prison, my mind is gone
Heart dying... till’ I’m saved from mortal cage
Awaiting (your love)... Armageddon’s dawn
So when we ascend to divinity
We regain ourselves; heal our mortal wounds
Through deaths veil become queen by right shall we
Entombed by the moon we shall be exhumed
Awaken YOU and let the angel rise
So we may leave this realm which we despise.
back to the depths of dispair
back to my temple
back to the other poems
