TO: Zeta Reticuli Command and Control Center

FROM: Chüd, Güüg, Rü-D and Spüg

SUBJECT: Status Report

BACKGROUND: Phase One of Operation Imminent Domain (Codename: L.D. 50) was launched August 29, 2000.

GOAL: To supervise and ensure the successful cross breeding between Zeta and humans subjects to create a hybrid army. The resultant offspring will be trained to participate in Phase Two of Operation Imminent Domain.

TEAM: Four shape-shifting Zeta operatives (Codename: Mudvayne) were assigned by Zeta Reticuli Command and Control to implement the covert operation.

Chüd: chosen for his empathy ability with human youth, knack for starting volatile situations and his displays of breakdancing prowess.
Spüg: chosen for his mastery of verbal obfuscation, willingness to escalate volatile situations and deadly skill with hair-pick.
Rü-D: chosen for his ability to tolerate drunken behavior, ability to avoid volatile situations and his double-jointed digits.
Güüg: chosen as team leader for his dedication to order, ability to finish volatile situations and double-talking jive.

STRATEGY: Epic Records, an Earth-bound corporation, unwittingly aided The Cause by helping distribute the Zeta message around the globe by releasing a collection of Zeta waltzes written by Mudvayne titled "L.D. 50." The music was sonically engineered to open listeners' minds to telepathic probes thus allowing Mudvayne to establish a mental link-the first step in crossbreeding-with more than 500,000 Earthlings. (The second, and final crossbreeding step is still classified.)

During an 18-month tour of music festivals around the globe, Mudvayne personally supervised training of the Hybrid Army.

RESULT: Phase One of Operation Imminent Domain deemed an unconditional success.

NEW MISSION: Phase Two of Operation Imminent Domain (Codename: The End of All Things to Come) launched November 19.

GOAL: To save humanity from itself. Mudvayne will lead the Hybrid Army in the destruction of all greed-headed and doom-mongering Earthlings who are consumed by Service to Self and grant salvation only to Earthlings who demonstrate Service to Others.

STRATEGY: Drawing power from their umlauts of righteousness and evading capture using ancient shape-shifting techniques, Mudvayne will lead the Hybrid Army to Final Victory. The start of Phase Two will be signaled by the release of a new collection of Zeta waltzes called, "The End of All Things to Come."

All Hail Zeta.

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