"What are we watching?" asked JC.

"Stupid chick flick" said Chris.

"It's not stupid" said Justin.

"What girl goes 20 some years of her life without being kissed. Look at Joey, he had his first kiss at 5" said Chris.

"4" replied Joey correcting him.

Listening as Justin and Chris playfully went back and forth as a smile crossed JC's face. Their was so much to absorb, so many things he wanted to remember about this time. He had to wonder what things might have been like if he was straight. Would he be married, have children. Their were so many things he would never know, so many things he would never... "God, I can't do this, I have to stop thinking this way" JC thought to himself.

"Cut it out Joey" said Justin as the popcorn fell to the floor.

"What, I'm not doing anything" said Joey smiling.

"Looks like the movie put JC to sleep" said Lance.

"I'm not asleep, I'm just resting my eyes" said JC smiling.

"Very funny. Hold the popcorn will you, while I go get a soda" said Chris.

"Bring me one" said Justin.

"You've got legs, get your own soda" said Chris.

"Your annoying, you know that" said Justin.

"Anyone want anymore pizza" said Joey opening the box.

"I'll pass" said Lance.

"I'm not hungry, you finish it" said JC.

"I'm worried about JC. Did you notice he didn't much of anything yesterday either" said Justin leaning on the counter.

"Yeah, I noticed. You know he's been getting a lot of headaches lately too" said Chris.

Three months is a long time, you know we're all pretty exhausted" said Joey.

"I don't know, he's been so distant too, it's not like JC," said Justin.

"I'm sure he would tell us if their was something wrong" said Joey.

"I suppose" replied Justin.

"What time did Johnny say the wardrobe fitting was?" asked JC.

"Eight" replied Lance.

"I think I'm gonna split and get some sleep" said Joey.

"You want us to help you clean up?" asked Lance.

"No, I got it, you guys go ahead. I'm gonna turn in pretty soon" said JC.

Watching as they pulled out of the drive JC breathed a sigh of relief. It had become increasingly harder to hide things from them and he was sure they we're starting to suspect something. "God how much longer can Ikeep this up. "He had to tell them, but how would he find the strength. How could he help them accept things when he could barely accept things himself."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~ ~

Rolling over JC opened his eyes and attempted to focus. "Could it really be 8 o'clock." It seemed like only hours since he had fallen asleep. He wanted nothing more than to lay in bed today but he couldn't. They were starting promotion for the new album in a few weeks. Their were talk shows, interviews and today they had to meet with their stylist for a fitting. Changing into a t-shirt and jeans he sighed as he groggily made his way to the kitchen in search of coffee. Opening the cabinet he frowned. "Had they really been gone that long" he thought to himself as he stared at the almost bare cabinet.

"JC you up" called Chris from the hallway.

"Yeah, in here" replied JC.

"Man, you look like hell" said Chris.

"Tell me you brought coffee" said JC.

"Umm... no, was I supposed too" said Chris.

"I have to have coffee" said JC.

"So we'll stop at Starbucks on the way. Come on, I'll drive" said Chris.

"I'll drive, I've got enough stress already without getting in a car with you" said JC.

"What is it with everyone and my driving. I'm a good driver" said Chris.

"What does your mom say about your driving" said JC.

"That I drive like a monkey on too much caffeine" said Chris.

"I rest my case" said JC.

Turning into the drive thru JC pulled up to the intercom. "Give me a Mocha Latte. You want anything" said JC turning to Chris.

"No" replied Chris.

"Will that be all."

"That's it" replied JC.

"That will be $4.56, please drive thru."

"What is this cd?" asked Chris.

"Alice Deejay" replied JC fumbling for change.

"Thank you and have a nice day."

Pulling into traffic JC turned on his signal. He wasn't looking forward to a wardrobe fitting today.

"Hey you two" said Justin smiling.

"Are we late?" asked Chris.

"No, I don't think Johnny's even here yet" said Justin.

"JC had to stop for coffee" said Chris.

"You know you should buy a Starbucks, with a Starbuck's and Lance's Krispy Kreme we'd have it made" said Joey smiling.

"I hope she dosen't put me in anything orange. Those orange pants in our last shoot made me look like a blimp" said Joey.

"You are a blimp" said Chris smiling.

"Hey, watch it" said Joey.

Entering the small changing area JC eyed the clothes layed out for him. "Damn it " said JC as he felt his hand graze the table.

"Everything ok?" asked Justin as he poked his head in the doorway.

"Yeah, I just nicked my finger on the table" replied JC.

"Your bleeding pretty good there, you must have cut it on a vein, here, tie this around it" said Justin handing him a handkerchief.

It's ok, really" said JC.

"How are you going to tie that with one hand, let me help you" said Justin.

"No, you can't" said JC quickly jerking his hand away.

"Man, would you let me help you" said Justin. "No, just stay away" said JC as he breezed past Justin.

"I heard shouting, what's going on?" asked Lance appearing in the doorway half dressed.

"JC cut his finger. He was bleeding I offered to help him and he just freaked and ran out" said Justin.

"You know how he gets around blood and needles" said Lance.

"How could I have been so stupid. Why wasn't I watching what I was doing. God if Justin had..."

"If I had what" said Justin approaching

"Umm... nothing, look I'm sorry I snapped at you. You know I can be a baby

when it comes to blood and needles" said JC.

"Hey, it's ok. Has it stopped bleeding" said Justin.

"All better" said JC holding up his finger.

"Johnny is here" said Justin.

"I'll be there in a second, I need to make a quick phone call. Watching as Justin ventured out of site JC nervously dialed the number.

"Dr. Eaton's office."

"I need to speak to Dr. Eaton" said JC.

"I'm sorry, she's with a patient, I can take a message and have her call you back."

"There's no message, could you just have her call me, she has my number" said JC.

"And what is your name?"

"JC Chasez."

"I'll give her the message."