Staring out the window the plane Nick shifted nervously in his seat as Howie smiled. He hated flying. The countless plane rides over the years had done little, if any to calm his fear. Most of them, like everything else in his life had went by like a blur. He couldn't remember half of the people he had met over the years, couldn't remember half of the cities they had played in. Their were so many people from Lou, to countless others that had used him, used the group. In a business this brutal he could only count on the simple things. Things like the hand that reached out to re-assure him that the flight would be over soon. That he would be ok. Yes it was the simple things, like friendship and love. Love now their was something he had never exepected. He hadn't planned it. But there it was. One day he looked at his best friend and and suddenly he knew he was in love. When they were together they could think of nothing else but how much they wanted each other. They had sex just about everywhere. From the bus, to their dressing rooms, to even doing it in an equiptment closet once. It seemed they could never get enough. And for those few brief moments It was as if time stopped and all that really mattered in their crazy lives was the two of them together. Their naked bodies moving in rhytyhm as if they were some well oiled machine. Howie had taught his soul to take a chance he never thought he would take again. They had wanted so much to share their love with the world but they couldn't because of the secret that forced them to lie, to the fans, to their friends. Even to their families. The secret that they were gay. God, the press had, had enough of a field day with him getting drunk. It had been three days and they were still reporting on his escepade. He had even made national news. And all because he was now Nick Carter, supposed bad boy. Why was it whenever someone from Nsync or from The Backstreet boys was supposedly seen drunk the media, the fans. Would act like it was the start of a downfall. He didn't ask to be a role model. Yes to a certain extent he did have a obligation to try and act responsibly but he also had a right to live his life as he saw fit. Three days, and half the world had come out of the woodwork to claim their two seconds of fame. One girl claimed to have been there and said he had been crying. Then, their was the infamous girl who claimed he was showing off his junk. And of course he couldn't forget the girl who had claimed he was rather well endowed.

"Wouldn't she like too know" Nick thought smiling.

Of course it hadn't ended with all the people who claimed to have been there. Or not even with all the people who claimed to know someone of someone who worked for him. No, their were the fans. The biggest critics of all. It didn't matter what media thought or believed. It was what the fans thought that counted and he knew exactly what they thought. He was doing way too much partying, they said. He needed to get away from his friends. They were a bad influence on him. He needed help. He had gone off the deep end. What did they know. His friends, his love for Howie. They were the only thing that kept him sane. He had to think what they would say if they knew he was gay. He had always suspected Carson new. After all the guy had refered to his manhood as, little Howie. Little Howie. He had about shit in his pants when he heard the words from Carson's mouth. You see little Howie was a secret code. Whenever they wanted to slip away for a XX(Little Romp)XX. They would refer to each other as little Howie and little Nick. It seemed to fit, after all their manhood did in a way belong to each other.

"Your smiling, that's good" said Howie.

"Huh? Oh, I was just thinking" said Nick.

"About what."

"About what I would like too..."

"Nick can I talk with you for a second" said Kevin leaning over the seat.

"Sure" replied Nick reluctantly as Howie quickly let go of his hand hoping that Kevin hadn't noticed. Nervously follwing Kevin back to his seat. He took in a deep breath. He knew this talk was inevtiable. Kevin had been quiet most of the morning. As if he were waiting to find the right words to say to him.

"So, what's up" said Nick taking the seat next to Kevin.

"I think we need to talk about last night."

"Your going to beat the crap out of me aren't you" said Nick.

"What? No, I'm not going to beat anything out of you" said Kevin.

"That's what everyone on the web is saying."

"I'm sure everyone on the web is saying a lot of things. Look, just tell me, what happened" said Kevin.

"I went to Pop City with a few friends. We danced, we had a few beers. We were having a good time. I had a few more beers. I started to get a little drunk. Some girl asked me to dance. I blew her off. That's when she called me a fag. She said I must be gay if I didn't want to dance with her. Then she proceeded to tell me that I didn't belong there. I belonged in a gay bar" said Nick.

"That's when the shouting started" said Kevin.

"Yeah, I told her to screw it and gave her the finger."

"Nick" said Kevin glaring.

"Hey she deserved it, she said I was gay. Come on, the girl was attacking my manhood. How would you like it if someone attacked your manhood" said Nick.

"What happened after that."

"The police asked me to leave" replied Nick.

"And that's when you refused."

"I was drunk, I wasn't going to listen to anybody. Police or otherwise" said Nick.

"So their was no..."

"What, waving around of my junk. I may have been drunk but I'm not stupid enough to do something like that" said Nick.

"You sure about that, little Howie" said AJ smiling.

"You saw that" said Nick frowning.

"As did all of America" said AJ.

"Who's little Howie?" asked Brian.

"Don't tell me you didn't see it" said AJ.

"See what" said Brian growing impatient.

"Carson referred to Nick's manhood as little Howie on TRL today."

"Little Howie, he said that" said Brian.

"Yeah."

"God, that's. Oh man, I would have loved to have seen that" said Brian laughing.

"It wasn't funny" snapped Nick.

"I'm sorry" said Brian.

"That's it. I've had enough. I'm going back to my seat" said Nick.

"Come on, we're sorry. We didn't mean it, really" said AJ trying not to laugh.

"Sure you did. That's why I'm going to sit with Howie. You see Howie was nice. Howie loves me" said Nick.

"I think after today we all know what Howie loves" said AJ smiling.