Their's a man in me who's lost his way, and he searches for his pride. He's confused by what he's told to be, cause he knows what he feels inside. He is troubled by the changing times, and he fears his dreams have died. Their's a man that's waited, hoping to be liberated. Their's a man in me who I want to save, revive his dignity, free from his cage, and release the man in me who cries for the day he will be let out.

Glancing up from his book, Nick stared aimlessly out the window. Today would be the hardest day in his life. For in a few hours, he would tell his parents he was gay. If anyone had told him a year ago his life would be where it was, he wouldn't have believed them. He knew from as early as he could remember that he was different; he loved men. Sometimes he had to ask himself how that was possible. How could be attracted to men? He didn't know, all he knew is how he felt.

When they had first gone out on tour, he had dated Jenny. Everyone thought they were very much in love, that they would someday marry. But it was all an act. He never loved her... at least the way you should love someone. He had only hurt her; used her as a cover to mask how how he really felt. It had been the same with Mandy. He was worried someone would find out. He liked her, maybe on some level even loved her, but once again, he had used her too. Mandy had felt a distance in their relationship from the beginning and eventually began to question him. "Was there something wrong with her?" He had assured her that there wasn't, but Mandy couldn't help but wonder 'if it wasn't her, then what, was the journal entry she found true, was he really gay?" He shuddered as he thought back to the day Mandy confronted him. She had gotten straight to the point. "Nick are you gay?" She had asked. Nick had sat hanging his head in silence. How could he hurt her, what would she think of him if he told her. "I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, we were only supposed to date too keep..." Nick had said. "So it's true?" Asked Mandy. "Yes," Nick had replied in almost a whisper. "I wish you had told me" Mandy said, just as quietly. "You think I'm a freak don't you? Nick had asked. "I could never think that," Mandy replied. "Please, you can't tell anyone," Nick had pleaded. They had gone their separate ways, using their careers as the reason for their breakup. It hadn't been easy, sneaking girls up to his hotel room. Making it appear he was straight.

The grueling months of touring had been one of the few things that kept him going, that, and Howie. He was his closest friend in the world and the man he loved with all his heart. "Anything that forces you to sacrifice who you are, is wrong," Howie always said. He knew he was right; he was sacrificing who he was, but how could he tell them? He could hardly look in his mother's eyes as she talked about the grandchildren he would one day give her. How could he give her grandchildren, how could he marry someone knowing he could never truly love them? Nick dreamed often about the day that he would tell his family. In his dreams he pictured them happy for him. his mind however, was a different story. He could see things so clearly, and they were always the same. His mom would shake her head wondering what had happened to the boy she raised. His father would sit staring, his silence speaking volumes. The guys had openly embraced him when he had told them he was gay. Well, Brian hadn't exactly embraced him. He accepted it but being very religious he viewed it as some terrible sin. Perhaps it was, Nick didn't know. All he knew was how he felt and how happy Howie made him.