Welcome to Chicago, Motherfucker...

I will openly admit that I drive way too fast.

I will also openly admit that the muffler on my car is rediculously loud. Barely legal with this state's 90dB law.
If I come up behind you on the freeway at 90 miles an hour in too low a gear, you know it damn well. You'd be able to hear me from half a mile away.

Do I have a slight tendancy to come up a little too close to your back bumper if you're a pussy ass bitch who seems to think it's OK to do 60 FUCKING MILES PER HOUR IN THE GODDAMN FAST LANE?
Yeah. I do.

Am I just a type A bitch?
Maybe.

Is this perhaps... Oh, I don't know... CHICAGO that I'm talking about here?
Damn right it is.

Yesterday morning around ten a.m. I'm heading home from school on 53, right outside Schaumburg. I'm doing my usual 90+ miles an hour. No problem for me, I've got a good radar detector. There are no tolls on this completely straight freeway (hence, it's free) so this isn't really too damn fast to be going. As I mentioned before, it's ten in the morning. Not too much traffic. I'm screaming up the road and all of a sudden this dipshit in a 70's Buick gets into the fast lane. It is a redneck gentleman of about 35. There are barely any other cars on the road so why the hell did he get into the fastlane, right infront of me? He's doing maybe 50 miles an hour, when the speed limit is 55. In the fast lane. It's the FAST lane, not the pussy ass bitch lane! Normally I'd just pass the individual's ass, but on this particular morning I hadn't had my coffee and wasn't too happy about this jackass forcing me to slow down by 40 miles an hour just so he could go for a little ride. I ride his ass for about two miles when he finally gets the fuck back over. I speed way up to go by, and what's he do? Right before I pass him I am given an obscene finger gesture by this gentleman. Just my luck, there is a speed sign right near by! I point to it and flip him right back off while mouthing some very unladylike things in his direction. He seemed shocked that a girl may do this. Well wake the fuck up buddy. In a way I was helping this redneck gentleman by so kindly showing him that the speed limit is 55, which by Chicago standards is already a joke in itself. If that man got on the Edens he'd be shot dead in a second.

Maybe for the better.

It'd save him the trouble of getting shot while on a drunken hunting trip with the rest of his redneck buddies.


Some of us like to go fast. This is why we purchase, hop up, and operate fast vehicles. Freeways are our playgrounds. We appreciate it when there are no douchebags there to ruin our fun. Thank you.

!Oh, so ya want more, bitch?
Go back home ya dirty cheese!