...FoR THe CHiXXX...
WARNING: THIS IS LIKELY TO BE HIGHLY OFFENSIVE TO YOU IF YOU ARE OF THE MALE RACE. PROCEED WITH CAUTION, GENTLEMEN.
Also, I would appreciate that no one fires back at me calling me a stupid dyke. I have a boyfriend. He is male. I have for a long time now. Put that in yer pipe and smoke it.
This you see here is a small, VERY small portion of the six page long list about guys that Leesha and I have compiled over the last three years. Enjoy.
1. If a guy wears more makeup than you, RUN. It's ok if he's wearing it on halloween or to a party just to be funny. But on a daily basis? Be afraid.
2. If he makes jokes about guys hitting on him, you're dating him and you're female, he's probably a closet gay.
3. If he lies to you once, get to the bottom of it and let him know it. Lies to you twice? Time to reconsider him. Lies to you three times or more? Send him packing.
4. You smarter than him? Does he resent this, and let you know it? He's a dick, let 'im go.
5. Does he watch porn? If he SAYS no, you may want to consider that he may be lying. If he really DOESN'T... Don't sleep with him. He won't know what he's doing. Unless he's a manwhore. If that's the case, do I really need to say you shoulnd't be sleeping with his ass?
6. Does he have a homicidal ex girlfriend who is obsessed with him and will stop at nothing to get him back? Avoid being on cops; just don't get yerself involved.
7. Does he not have an electronic leash (a.k.a cellphone), even though he can afford one? Unless you trust him with your life, this is a little fishy.
8. Does he smoke weed? Many a boy doesn't know what they're doing whilst on weed and may cheat on you. Unless he's doing heroin instead, dump his ass.
9. Does he not respect your vast shoe collection? If not, then HE DOESN'T RESPECT YOU.
10. Does he not drive but expects you to cart his ass all over, and to places far away all the time when there is public transportation available to him? All this time spent in the car carting him around could be used for finding yourself a guy who appreciates you more than that!
11. Does he make jokes about cheating on you? He woulnd't be if that wasn't on his mind! And even if it weren't, he's still an insensitive prickhole!
12. Is he over the age of 20 and still not doing shit with himself? Or IS still shitting himself? Not worth your time, hotties.
Damn you! DAMNNN YOUUUU!