I'm sure we've all seen them... Those goddamned Empire Carpet commercials. Of all the commercials I have ever seen in my life (which, I admit, isn't that many...) every single Empire Carpet one has been by far the most excruciating to endure... And they just keep getting worse. They actually call that stuff acting? Dear god. What's more? Who HONESTLY can say they care that much about carpet? The people on those commercials are just so enthustiastic about getting their new carpet, installed the next day... They act as though carpet is the best thing since sliced cheese. Is it? Is anyone else out there as excited about "shopping at home for carpet" as those people in the commercials are? If so, I'm very, very frightened by you.

I want to be annoyed some more!
Home, James!