THE EVIL PETTING ZOO
@ EVIL SKULL CITY
Welcome to the Evil Petting Zoo, we hope you enjoy your stay. We've gathered together some of the nastiest life forms that you will encounter in Rage of Mages 2. But don't you worry, they are all quite docile and comfy behind bars in our PERFECTLY SAFE cages. This is your opportunity to reach out and touch some of these amazing specimens of pure, hero-hating evil. Don't be shy, just reach your hands right in between those bars and maybe give a tug at a tuft of hair, a razor-sharp horn, or some decaying flesh. Remember, its all PERFECTLY SAFE and you have absolutely nothing to worry about. We want you to enjoy yourself and learn more about these fascinating specimens of death-dealing mayhem. Stay as long as you want and maybe next time you stop by - bring the kids, because its all PERFECTLY SAFE.
Oh and remember, please DO feed the animals - with yourself!
THE EVIL SKELETON
If you don't know what a skeleton is then I wonder where you were during health class. These boneheaded beasts are raised by a Necromancer from a fully decayed corpse. Their weapons of choice are broadswords or scimitars and that is the focus of the magic power used to resurrect them. Without their swords they only have weak magic to hold them together and its really pretty funny when you tug on them and they come apart into a large pile, almost like pickup sticks…go ahead pull his finger. Now where did I put that big, sharp, magic sword? OH, Ya, There it is, I put it up your ass. Ha! Ha! Ha!
THE BIG BAD WOLF
Although the Druids have tamed some wolves, this particular specimen has had no such conditioning. As such it has progressed from simply being angry at its capture and caging, to a kind of seething hysteria towards any living being that it might associate with its current circumstances. Of course this overwhelming hatred is in no way related to those "Evil Petting Zoo Staff" uniforms we asked you to wear for your tour. Remember this is a petting zoo - look and DO touch.
THE LAZY LIZARD
Not your everyday commercially exploited, animatronic, scaly creature; this species of lizard has a serious bite. Not content to just laze in the swamp beneath the stars, snapping up insects and spouting pithy one-liners, they've been known to jump from their perches in the forest surrounding Yases and devour unwary travelers. See if you can grab our caged friend's long, forked tongue which he can flick almost a yard. Feel its slimy, sandpaper like texture…for as long as you can still feel that is. Don't Let His Name Fool You.
Similar to a skeleton, but with plenty of rank, disgusting meat on its bone, the zombie is a favorite when the noontime hour rolls around here at the Evil Petting Zoo. Hungry patrons need only yank off a piece of decaying flesh and slap it on the handy grill we've provided for a quick and delicious lunch. The Zombies' strength is in numbers which is why we gladly allow you to eat as much as you like, there's plenty more where that came from. Don't believe the rumors that zombie flesh is full of potent poisons and vicious parasites…bon appetite!
THE EVIL NECRO
While not strictly a creature of the wild, the Necromancer is so Evil that we just had to have one for our premier exhibit. A master of the arcane arts, he is equally adept at raising the dead as he is at destroying the living. The one we have behind bars is so dangerous that even our most experienced Zookeepers are afraid to go near his cage. That's not to say you shouldn't walk right up to him and yell, "Nah-nah, Nah-nah, you're behind bars and I'm not." He really loves it when people do that...REALLY.
~~~ Your Visitor No# This Month ~~~