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Scooby-Due

South

A Savage Garden Production

Starring:

Ray Kowalski

As:

Ray

Benton Fraser

As:

Ben

Francesca Veccio

As:

Frannie

Margaret Thatcher

As:

Meg

And

Diefenbaker

As:

Diefenbaker

The Case of The Missing Mountie

Created, Written, Produced and Directed

By:

Lover in the Savage Garden

It was a dark and stormy night in the Northwest Territories. Buck Frobisher, a respected Mountie, was working late tracking a poacher. Buck had tracked him into a dark forest, a mile away from any civilization.

"Tarnation!" Buck mumbled. The trail he had been following disappeared. Buck looked around. He couldn't see anything in the heavy snow. Suddenly, Buck saw a light ahead!

"Hello?" Buck called. No one answered. Buck walked towards the light.
"Hello?" He called again. Still no answer. Then, Buck saw the source of the light. It was a man. But he was transparent! He was dressed in clothes from the late 1800's, and looked very ragged and worn. He turned and saw Buck. The Mountie turned to run, but the world went black.

"Hey guys!" Ray said as the Mountie Machine bounced along a worn road. "Like, are we almost there yet?"

"Not yet Ray." Ben said.

"What's the matter Ray?" Frannie asked. "Hungry?"

"Like, yeah!" Ray said. "I'm starving. Diefenbaker ate all my food."

"You should've put a padlock on your picnic basket." Ben said. Out of nowhere, there was laughter.

"It's so nice of your Dad to let us use his cabin!" Frannie exclaimed, putting her hand on Ben's arm for no good reason.

"It sure is!" Ben agreed.

"We should have been there by now." Meg said. "I think you took a wrong turn somewhere."

"Really? It's so hard to see in all this snow." Ben said, peering out the windshield. Suddenly, there was an explosive sound and the Mountie Machine bounced.

"Yikes!" Ray exclaimed.

"What ras rat?" Diefenbaker asked.

"It was the tire." Meg said. "And we don't have a spare."

"We don't?" Ray sounded surprised.

"We never do." Meg reminded him.

"Like, you're right." Ray said, and they all laughed.

"Well, it looks like we'll have to wait until someone finds us." Ben said.

"But who'll be out in this storm?" Frannie asked.

"Yeah. And we have, like, no food!" Ray wailed.

"Rorry." Dief said, hiding his head in his paws.

"Don't panic." Ben said. "I'm sure we'll be fine." Suddenly there was a knock at the window.

"Are you folks okay?" Someone asked. A flashlight was shone into the Mountie Machine.

"We have a flat tire." Ben said.

"It's a nasty night to be having car trouble. I can drive you over to the Moose and Caribou Trading post. You can wait there for the storm to die down. Then you can call for a pick-up truck."

"Gee, thanks!" Ben said. "Come on guys."

"I'm Trevor McGee." The man said. He was wearing a furry coat and a fur hat.

"Hi Mr. McGee. I'm Ben, This is Frannie, Meg, Ray and that's Diefenbaker." Ben said, making the introductions.

"Nice to meet you." Mr. McGee said as they piled onto his snow-mobile. "Say, what are you kids doing out here, anyway?"

"We're heading up to my dad's cabin." Ben told him. They rode for a little ways before they saw the lights of the trading post through the snow. They hopped off the snow-mobile and went into the trading post.

"Golly!" Frannie exclaimed, looking around. There was a big room with animal trophies on the wall, skin rugs on the floor, and a big stone fireplace on the back wall. Stairs led up to the second floor where a balcony overlooked the main room. There were more trophies on the upstairs wall.

"This is the Moose and Caribou." Mr. McGee said. "A little rustic, but it's warm and dry. Oh, this here is Koniwatua." Mr. McGee said, indicating an Indian man coming towards them. "Koniwatua is an Inuit trader. He comes once a week with furs. He got stuck here when the snow hit."

"It is good thing I did." Koniwatua said.

"Like, what do you mean?" Ray asked.

"In storms like this, the ghost walks." Koniwatua told them.

"G-g-g-ghost?" Ray and Dief exclaimed.

"Oh, it's just a bit of Yukon folklore, that's all." Mr. McGee said.

"Tell that to Buck Frobisher!" Koniwatua said.

"Who's Buck Frobisher?" Meg asked.

"He's a Mountie who was tracking a poacher through here. He's been missing for three days." Mr. McGee informed them.

"Like, yow! I bet the ghost got him!" Ray said.

"Yes." Koniwatua agreed. "It is said, on cold winter nights, when the snow blows hard and strong, the ghost of Sir John Franklin walks the Northwest Territories, searching for the Northwest Passage. All who see him are lost!"

"Like Buck Frobisher." Frannie added.

"Well guys, it looks like we have a mystery on our hands." Ben said.

"Like, I was afraid you were gonna say that!" Ray groaned.

Since it was night, Ben, Frannie, Meg, Ray and Dief were given rooms for the night. For some bizarre reason, Ben got a room all to himself while the rest of the group was forced to double up. Ben, Frannie and Meg fell asleep immediately. They wanted to be up bright and early to start solving this mystery. But Diefenbaker and Ray were having no such luck.

"So what do you make of this ghost thing?" Ray asked Dief.

"Ri ron't know." Dief barked.

"Well I don't like it. Flat tires, Mounties disappearing, ghosts." Ray turned over in bed.

"Rey!" Dief snapped, trying to retrieve the covers.

"Oh for crying out loud, you're an arctic wolf!" Ray whined, reluctantly giving Dief some of the covers. Suddenly, there was a scratching at the window.

"Like, what was that?" Ray asked, tensing up.

"Ri ron't know!' Dief whined, ducking under the covers.

"Like, one of us should look." Ray said.

"Rot me!" Dief protested, shaking his head.

"Like, not me either!" Ray said. "We'll both look."

"Rine." Dief said.

"Okay. On the count of three. One…Two…Three!" Ray and Dief threw back the covers and looked at the window. A large tree was blowing back and forth, scratching against the window.

"Like, it was a tree." Ray said, laughing.

"Rah. A ree." Dief agreed.

"We should get some sleep." Ray said. Suddenly, lightening flashed and a ghostly image appeared at the window. It was a man in tattered nineteenth century clothing. And he was completely transparent.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Dief and Ray yelled, leaping out of bed and running out into the hall.

"What's the matter?" Frannie asked, as she and Meg came out into the hall to see what the commotion was about.

"Ray? Diefenbaker?" Ben said, joining the girls in the hall. But Dief and Ray just kept running. Obviously, they didn't hear Meg, Frannie and Ben.

"I wonder what got into them?" Frannie said.

"Oh, I know what got into them." Meg said, grouchily. "They're trying to get out of this stupid thing."

"Oh, relax!" Frannie snapped. "It won't be too long. We're doing a TV show, not a movie!"

"Girls, please." Ben said. "I think it would be prudent to go and see if we can find Ray and Diefenbaker."

"Fine." Meg said.

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea." Frannie cooed, taking Ben's arm again.

"Yes, well…" Ben trailed off.

"I warned you!" Koniwatua said, walking down the hall. "The ghost is awake!"

"Golly." Meg said, completely dead pan. Frannie shot her a look.

"Don't worry about us." Ben said, smiling. "We're fully capable of taking care of ourselves."

"Hmm." Koniwatua grunted. "You will be sorry."

"That guy is creepy." Frannie said as Koniwatua stalked back to his room.

"I agree." Ben said.

"Hmm." Meg grunted.

"Well, let's go find Ray and Dief." Frannie said, pulling Ben down the hall.

"Like where are we?" Ray asked. "And why the hell do I have to keep saying like?"

"Ri ron't know." Dief said.

"Well, it looks like we're in one of the old rooms. It's all dusty." Ray said, sneezing.

"Rah." Dief agreed. The room they were in was most certainly dusty. It was also filled with all sorts of boxes and some furs.

"Hey, look at this." Ray said, picking up a bear hide. "Kinda freaky, huh?"

"Uh-hu." Dief agreed.

"Hey." Ray exclaimed, bending down. "What's this?" Ray picked up a small scrap of paper.

"Rat is it?" Dief asked, looking at it.

"Uh, it's ripped so some of the words are torn off. It says: 'ship…10…8:00 p.m.' Huh." Ray said. "That's weird. What's it doing in here?"

"Ri ron't know." Dief said.

"Well, I guess it's a clue or something." Ray shrugged, and shoved the paper in his pocket. "At least we got away from that creepy ghost."

"Rah." Dief agreed. Suddenly, a light appeared behind them. They turned, and saw the ghost of John Franklin standing behind them.

"Not again." Ray groaned, looking desperately for a way out.

"Leave this place!" The ghost cried menacingly.

"Like, we would if we could!" Ray cried, stumbling backwards. "Okay. Enough of this. I'm gonna kick you in the head." Ray said. But before he could make good on his threat, his hand hit a carving of an old Inuit, and a wall panel slid open. Dief grabbed Ray and ran through it, not looking back.

"Gee." Frannie said, looking around. "I wonder where they went."

"I'm not quite sure." Ben said. "I was sure they came down this way."

"Obviously they didn't." Meg groaned.

"Hmm." Ben said.

"Oh no!" Frannie cried, grabbing Ben's arm. "It's the ghost!"

"Oh dear." Ben said, as the three backed away. The ghost raised its arms threateningly and advanced on them.

"We're gonna die!" Frannie yelped.

"This is the last time I participate in any thing remotely similar to this." Meg said.

"Well, it's obviously not a real ghost." Ben explained. "It's most likely the poacher that Buck Frobisher was trapping. He's using this ghost ruse to scare away anyone who might apprehend him." The ghost stopped, and stared at Ben.

"Oh, now don't pout. It was really quite obvious." Ben said.

"Ben!" Frannie hissed. "You're not supposed to say anything yet!"

"I'm not? But I did figure it out…"

"I know, I know. But we have to run into a room and barricade ourselves in. Then, the wall will start to move. We'll think it's the ghost, but it'll really be Ray and Dief. Then we'll find a clue and you'll get an idea. After that, we'll devise some incredibly complex plan to catch the quote unquote 'ghost' using Ray and Dief as bait. But they won't want to do it, so we'll have to bribe them. Then they'll do it. But the plan'll get screwed up, probably by me, but we'll catch the ghost anyway. You'll tell this long involved story about how that one little clue we found gave the whole thing away. Then you can unmask him as the poacher. But not now." Frannie explained.

"Really?" Ben asked.

"Trust me. I grew up on Scooby-Doo. That's what happened in every single episode." Frannie said.

"Oh. Well. Right then. Oh no, it's a ghost!" Ben said. "Is that better?"

"Much." Frannie said. "Now lets run for it!" The gang the proceeded to run back down the corridor in the opposite direction, the ghost hot on their heels. As Frannie predicted, they ran into a room and slammed the door behind them.

"I want to go home." Meg said. "And I want to get out of this stupid orange sweater!"

"What is wrong with you?" Frannie demanded.

"I beg your pardon?"

"All you've done so far is complain! God! Get into it! I don't see you trying to help solve this mystery." Frannie said.

"You aren't much help either." Meg snapped.

"I'm not supposed to be! I'm just supposed to follow Ben around and state the obvious and look pretty! That's it!" Frannie threw up her arms in aggravation.

"Please." Ben said, trying to calm down the two women. "Let's try to get along. A man is missing, if you would remember. And there is a ghost on the loose. Meg, you're being a real sport about this, and we appreciate it. Frannie, you shouldn't belittle yourself that way."

"Really?" Frannie cooed. Meg said nothing. Suddenly, the wall began to move. Frannie grabbed Ben, and Meg groaned.

"It's only Ray and Diefenbaker." Ben said. Frannie groaned and slapped her forehead. "Oh, sorry." Ben apologized.

"Perhaps we should barricade the door." Meg supplied.

"Good idea." Ben said, pushing his weight against the door. Frannie and Meg joined him.

"There's something pushing on the door." They heard a voice say.

"It's Ray." Ben said, and stepped away from the wall. Frannie and Meg did likewise.

"Hey guys." Ray said as he and Diefenbaker entered the room.

"What happened to you?" Frannie asked.

"We were running from the ghost and we ended up in a secret passage. Oh, and we found this." Ray said, pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket. He handed it to Ben.

" 'ship…10…8:00 p.m.' Hmm." Ben said.

"Do you know what it means." Ray asked.

"Well, I have an idea." Ben said. "But we'll have to catch the ghost."

"Uh, Ben, how do you catch a ghost. I mean, it's a ghost." Ray said.

"Hmm." Ben said, smiling.

"I don't like it when you do that, Benny." Ray said.

"Hmm. Well, I have a plan to catch the ghost." Ben said. "But, it requires everyone's participation."

"Alright." Meg said. "What do we have to do?"

"Well, it's really quite simple. We just have to corner the ghost. With five against one, we obviously have the upper hand." Ben said.

"No Ben." Frannie said. "What did I tell you earlier?"

"Oh. Yes. Incredibly complex plan. Alright. First we'll lure the ghost into…hmm. I'll need a small, out of the way room." Ben trailed off, thinking.

"Well, Dief and I found one. It's at the other end of the passage." Ray told Ben.

"Good. You and Dief lure the ghost into it, and Frannie, Meg and I will take care of the rest." Ben said.

"No. No way no how!" Ray said.

"Oh, really Ray, it won't be dangerous." Ben said.

"Not dangerous? Not dangerous. Benny, you want me to play chicken with a ghost. An honest to goodness, see-through, wailing ghost. And you're trying to tell me it won't be dangerous?" Ray laughed humorlessly. "No." He said simply.

"Ray…" Ben said. Frannie held up her hand. She was suddenly holding a box.

"Would you do it for a…" Frannie paused, reading the box. She gave Ben a weird look, shrugged, and continued. "…Diefenbaker snack?"

"A what?" Ray asked.

"A Diefenbaker snack." Frannie repeated, holding out the box. It had a picture of Diefenbaker on it.

"You're bribing me with doggy treats?" Ray asked.

"Yea." Frannie said. Ray stared at her blankly.

"Ri'll do it." Diefenbaker said.

"Good." Frannie said, smiling. "You get a Diefenbaker Snack."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of." Meg said. "It isn't even alliterated."

"Did I ask you? No." Frannie snapped.

"Can we get on with this? Please?" Ray asked.

"Sure." Frannie said. "As soon as you agree to be bait."

"Oh, for crying out loud. Fine." Ray sighed in defeat. "Do I still get a doggy treat?"

"Sure." Frannie said, giving him a Snack.

"Okay, then what?" Ray asked.

"Well, there will be a large box suspended from the ceiling somehow. When the ghost runs under it, Meg and I will drop it on him. Frannie will let us know when the ghost is coming." Ben explained.

"Okay." Ray agreed. "Let's go."

"Her ghost, ghost, ghost." Ray called. He and Dief were wandering through the Trading Post, looking for the ghost. So far they had had no luck. Ray opened a door, and found himself in the kitchen.

"Well, I didn't find the ghost, but I found food." Ray told Dief. "What'dya

say we eat?"

"Rah!" Dief agreed.

"You know, for a deaf wolf, you hear pretty good." Ray said, piling food on the counter. Dief said nothing.

"Okay, I'm in the mood for some pizza." Ray said. "And I think we've got enough stuff to make one. We've got some dough, some sauce, and some cheese. Hmm. I wonder if there's any pineapple…" Ray trailed off, rummaging through the cabinets. Suddenly, he heard Dief howl.

"What?" Ray asked, not looking up.

"Ra rost!" Dief said.

"Yeah, yeah. We'll look for the ghost after we eat." Ray said.

"Ro!" Dief protested. "Ra rost!" Ray turned around, and saw the ghost standing in the doorway.

"Oh. The ghost." Ray said. "Uh, he's blocking the door."

"Ri know." Dief said.

"Uh…hi." Ray said. "Um, want a sandwich?" The ghost raised its arms and started coming towards them. Ray shoved past it, and ran for the room. The ghost was hot on his heels.

"They're coming!" Frannie yelled back to Meg and Ben. "Get ready!"

"Okay!" Ben called back. A few minutes later Ray and Dief ran into the storage room, followed by the ghost. Ben dropped the box, and Sir John Franklin was captured.

"Hey." Ray said, skidding to a stop. "It worked."

"Well, of course it worked Ray." Ben said. "Why wouldn't it?"

"I don't know." Ray said shrugging. Suddenly, Mr. McGee came into the room.

"What's going on in here?" he asked.

"We caught the ghost." Meg said.

"Ghost? What ghost?" Mr. McGee asked.

"There was a ghost in the post." Ray said. "Get it? Ghost? Post?" When no one laughed, Ben went back to explaining.

"It isn't really a ghost." Ben said, lifting the box.

"It isn't?" Mr. McGee asked. "Then what is it?

"Three guesses." Ray said. "And the first two don't count." The ghost sat under the box, looking quite vexed, and not so glowy and transparent. And very much like Koniwatua.

"Koniwatua!" Mr. McGee exclaimed. "Why?"

"Koniwatua was the poacher. He was using the John Franklin legend to scare away anyone who might catch him. He was using the old storage room to hide his illegal furs, and shipping them out at night. We found a piece of a shipment order in one of the storage rooms. He used phosphorescent paint to make himself look preternatural. I believe you will find those furs over there to be illegal." Ben said, pointing to a stack of furs not covered in dust.

"I just can't believe it." Mr. McGee said. "Koniwatua, why did you do it?"

"To make lots of money!" Koniwatua spat. "And it would have worked, if not for you meddling kids!"

"Yeah, well, it didn't." Ray said.

"But what happened to Buck Frobisher?" Frannie asked. in all the confusion, the missing Mountie had been forgotten.

"Mm! Mm!" They heard coming from a trunk that until then hadn't been noticed.

"What's that?" Ray asked.

"My guess," Ben said, going over to the trunk. "Is that it is Buck Frobisher." Ben opened the trunk, and sure enough there was Buck, gagged and tied.

"Thanks!" Buck said, after Ben removed his gag. "I thought I was a goner."

"Don't mention it." Ben said. "And I believe you have an arrest to make."

"That I do, that I do." Buck said, climbing out of the trunk. "Koniwatua, you are hereby under arrest for the crime of poaching."

"Hey!" Ray said. "We solved the mystery just as the storm stopped."

"How very convenient." Ben said. "Shall we go?"

"Definitely!" Frannie said.

"Rah!" Dief agreed. The gang said their good-byes, and headed out to the Mountie Machine, which was magically repaired and waiting outside for them.

"Well, I for one am glad this whole thing is over." Ray said.

"Me too." Frannie agreed.

"Hmm." Ben said, turning the key in the ignition.

"What?" Ray asked in a panicky voice.

"It appears we're out of gas. It seems we'll have to stay another night at the trading post." Ben said.

"No!" Everyone said at once.

"Oh, it'll be fun. We can eat pemmican and I'll tell you all Inuit tales…hey? Where are you going?" Ben asked when he realized he was alone in the van with Diefenbaker. Ray, Frannie and Meg were running as fast as they could to the courtesy pay-phone outside the trading post. "Well. How do you like that? You know something?" Ben asked Dief. Dief didn't answer.

"One of these days they will come to appreciate the value of a good Inuit tale. You never know when they might come in handy. Oh look! There's gas in the tank." Ben turned the key, and put his foot on the accelerator. It looked like Frannie, Ray and Meg were going to learn to appreciate the value of a good Inuit tale a whole lot sooner that Ben had thought!

The End