Now Playing: Yu Yu Hakusho: By : Blackrose Kitsune
Topic: A Glass Rose
A Glass Rose
The Ties Which Bind Us
Part 1: Why?
Oh, this applies for the entire story... I don't own Yuu Yuu Hakusho, no matter how much I wish... Well I can dream at least...
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A glass rose,
An object of beauty
Admired for it's magnificence,
Yet resented for it's perfection
"Mother, I don't feel well" I tell her simply as I sit down at the kitchen table. I hate that I must lie to her, but it's the only way I know I can get out of having to go through another pointless school day.
"Shuichi," her voice is gentle, and her tone holds a note of concern, "you've missed four days of school in the last two weeks, that's not at all like you, are you sure you're alright?"
No mother, I'm not sure I'm alright. I don't know what it is that's come over me recently.
"Yes, mother" I reassure her, "it must just be the flu. It is autumn, and the weather has been disagreeable as of late."
She nods, "yes of course. Well alright then dear, you just go on up to your room and rest. I'll see you tonight after work."
Now it's my turn to nod.
She smiles and kisses me on the forehead, before standing up and walking out the door.
Leaving me alone to contemplate.
Why do I avoid school when I'm such an avid scholar?
I know why, but I don't wish to come to grips with it.
I'm tired of it.
All of it.
I don't belong at school, and they know it, all of them do. They don't want me there, and I don't want to be there either.
Maybe I'll do us all a favor.
Heh, if only Youko could see my weakness now.
Humans are such fickle creatures. Always admiring the things they want, yet envying those who have it.
I walk out the door, and to my prized possessions, the wild rose bush growing along the house, covering the white paneling in a marvelous scarlet tint.
The self-same rose bush that had been in such ill health when I was a child, barely able to manifest my powers. It had come a long way since then, from the black, shriveled buds, with hardly an ounce of life in them, to the rich, ruby red blooms holding themselves up proudly.
I suppose I grew with them. In body and soul, for they taught me a valuable lesson.
Life is fragile, terribly so, and without proper care and guidance, all things shall fall prey to the darkness.
Ironic, the great Youko learned life lessons from a shrub. What has he brought himself to?
I smile at the bush, but then I see it, and my smile turns into a concerned frown. A small bulb hanging limply off it's stem, somehow despite my gentle nurturing, it had succumbed to ill fate.
I approached it, cupping the fragile bloom in my hands, and closing my eyes. Within a moment the bloom glowed in a pale silver light, my energy feeding it, strengthening it.
I turned myself into a caring, human loving, half-breed.
Yes, that was right, the great Youko had fallen into his own trap by developing a bond with the ningens. I swore never to let it happen, but despite my wishes it did. I sighed.
Why?
I shook my head. Even I didn't know why anymore. I gave up on pondering that long ago. It was such a pointless question to begin with. It is all too apparent that I don't belong here, although I choose to live here. Here, among the very beings who have made my life hell.
Resentment.
I resent my choice, the choice to become human. After what it put me through, I've had enough. Humans despise me, I knew from the start they would, but I told myself to live with it. I did. And now I've had enough.
I want out.
Suddenly my mother's face appears in my mind. Her warm eyes, her gentle smile.
That's why I've stayed so long.
Shiori.
She's the reason I've stayed here.
She's the sole reason I didn't leave at 10 years of age as I had intended.
I was Shiori's second child.
Her first was a stillbirth. The child hadn't developed properly, and so, wasn't strong enough to sustain it's self. Shiori had suffered a great deal of pain in her first born’s death, and the doctor had told her that the chances of her having another hale and healthy child, where slim to none.
I suppose I'd have met that very same fate if it hadn't been for Youko's spirit living in me.
To this day, I still wonder if that's what granted me rebirth in the first place. Especially considering that Shiori had told me often times that she hadn't expected me to survive either. Not even the doctors expected me to be born healthy. Imagine their surprise.
I was her miracle.
I can't take that away from her...
No matter how badly I want out of it, I won't leave. I know I'm one of the woman's few sources of hope and happiness. Yes, of course, she had Hatanaka, and Shuuichi. She was happily married. But I was truly her only child, if I left, she would blame herself.
Humans are like that, they succumb to emotions far too easily.
And I should talk. I've readily become one of them.
I shake my head, yes, I've become one of them. One of the race, who's actions always seem to speak for themselves. Humans easily have the wildest, most irrational behaviors I have come to know. They live for the moment, with little to no regard for the consequences.
But, I don't suppose I can blame them. Their existence upon this green earth is terribly short. In the time I've lived with them, I can understand why they act as such.
Just to make the most out of the time they have been given.
Exactly like the rest of us.
Like us? Hardly that, they are far worse than we are.
Except... Humans are also some of the most vindictive beings I have come to know. They know many more ways to bring about pain and suffering, than they do when it comes to peace and joy.
So it comes as no surprise that they treat me as such. It's second nature to them.
I really have brought this all upon myself haven't I?, I muse. I knew from the start what to expect, and yet I still did it. It surprises me how naïve I've become in these past years.
Then I remember the bloom I was tending to, I had gotten so caught up in my thoughts I had almost forgotten about it. As I look down at the bulb in my hands I smile. It had become as healthy as it's companions on the bush, it's petals now radiating a vibrant, lively red. It would be just fine now. Feeling accomplished, I release the bud.
The roses are beautiful, one of the few things left in this life that are.
Perhaps humans aren't that horrible.
To bring about such beauty as this, they must have good intentions. For such pure beauty as this, there must be some good in their hearts, some form of intended good will.
Maybe there was hope for the them after all.
But amongst the ruby red blooms that were the roses, another thing strikes me.
The thorns.
Sharp, dangerous, thorns.
It seemed that even what grants beauty, must bring with it pain.
Maybe not.
~~~
A/n: Um... well this is the first part of A Glass Rose. Actually, my original intention for this piece was nothing like this to begin with. But, I had to force myself out of writers block, and I'm sure some of you at least know the results of forced writing, most times it's not a good result. So I had to write something. And this happened to be it. Please keep that in mind if you review, and with that in mind I will say now I love, absolutely adore, long reviews, critiques, even a flame if you must. It will get better, I'm hoping. Thanks and Ja ne.
~Blackrose Kitsune~