My Parents

I won't kid you. I'm not exactly fond of them. That's why I've devoted a page to making fun of them. For those who don't know, I live in the world's ass. (Also known as Eastern Kentucky) A great deal of people here are very intolerant of everything other than what they believe. This includes my parents. My parents hate the way I dress, the music I listen to, and they absolutley LOATHE my point of view. I try to be accepting to people of all ethnicities, religions, and sexual orientations. They don't. This leads to plenty of arguments. Our last argument was about drag queens. I said they make every situation ten times better. They said drag queens were going to Hell. The argument ended with me screaming, "BIGGOTS!" and slamming a door in their faces. (So I'm a drama queen...)Now that I think of it, I don't think they know what biggot means. I think a great deal of the reason I dress the way I do is just to hear their idiodic complaints. I remember one day a while back when I had red lipstick on. Daddy wouldn't let me out of the house, because he said it was too dark. -So I washed it off and put on even darker purple lipstick just to piss him off. He didn't say anything. I don't think he even noticed. The next day he told me not to wear purple, so I put the red on. He didn't say a thing to me about it. I live for little escapades like this. I get in far more arguments with woman (For those who don't know, I call my mother Woman. Mother is a term of endearment. I'd be living a lie to call her "Mother" I could probably just call her by name, but It's much more amusing to hear her reaction to being called "woman")than daddy, but the arguments with daddy are much more entertaining, so I'll focus on those. Though it's not intentional, Daddy is freakin' hilarious when he's angry. His bald spot gets all red, and he starts stuttering. -And when he does get a sentence out, he sounds like someone from Nazi Germany. (Not sure why.) What's funniest is when he uses words that he doesn't actually know the meaning of. I remember one time, he told me to be more conservative. I knew he didn't know what conservative means, but I couldn't help but say what I said. (Which was, "Kiss my liberal ass.")Daddy got soooooooooo angry. I think it was because he didn't know the meaning of liberal, either. I had the hardest time not laughing. (Don't you hate it when you're trying not to laugh at someone and failing horribly? This happens to me all the freakin' time!) Anyways, I just thought I'd devote a page to making fun of my parents. They need it. I'll end it with some quotes from Daddy.