I'm Sway. This is my page, and I'm the original Burning Angel. My friends and I created the Lair for people like us, who are somewhat innocent looking in their "day to day" lives, but are demons when we have the chance. Most people would never picture us "like that". We've been gothic, glam vamps, tattooed, pierced, had every hair color under the rainbow, but unfortunately, most of us have finally conformed back into society's boring standards. Today, instead of college students, we are a mix of a psychiatrist, assistant / tech person, government employees, aestetician, and mothers.
Sometimes, I miss the old days, when we could use our self expression on our hair and bodies as we chose, not as the corporate world dictated. But I guess that's part of growing up and becoming a professional career junkie. ~grins... but the weekends are still for us "freaks"...
I'm currently redoing the Lair entirely. The old Lair, which some of you might know, is really outdated. Some of the other Angels have tried to keep it up, but it's been sporatic. Surprise, surprise...I don't have pink hair anymore... yes... a tragedy... I know. So, with the changes in my own life, I decided to write a new Sway's thoughts page about the submissive life. To our readers, I hope you enjoy... and I'm sorry it's taken me (and the rest of the Angels) so long to get this place updated.
We'll get more tattoo, piercing, and other occult links up as soon as we find some good pages that we all agree on!
My views of the D/s relationship are far from the industry standard in BDSM. I am not full time submissive. I do enjoy being Dominant sometimes. However, I don't like being called a "bottom". Submissive is just a better term.
I do not immediately show my submissive side to my partner. It is something that I wait until I know I can put my trust in them to handle. There is truly nothing better than to give my submissive trust to the one I love, and knowing that I will be physically, mentally, and emotional fine in their hands.
We all have both dominant and submissive sides, it just truly depends on how much you show it to the world, and your partner. Some people are scared, nervous about what their partner will think of them. Especially with Dominants, as in this lovely strange world we've created, most are scared that their partner will think they are trying to hurt them. There is some pain with love. There is a big line between light - full S&M and abuse. People who have not experienced D/s and BDSM relationships do not understand that difference. They think that people who enjoy BDSM are abused, warped, etc. Truth is, they just don't get it, because they are too scared to try it. Being a "freak" isn't that bad... give it a try.
It's amazing still to me, knowing when his hands are pulling my hair, grabbing my body, around my neck that I know I am safe, even though there is the chance that it could hurt me. It doesn't even cross my mind. Love needs trust, as does D/s. Honestly, if you don't have the trust in love, what do you really have?
Switch it up in life. Be who you are, who you want to be, who you need to be. But most importantly, TALK with your partner !! Most people in relationships *think* they can talk about sex, but when it comes down to it, they feel embarrassed, or they are nervous about hurting the other person's feelings. Honesty is the key. It seems that more and more relationships are breaking up due to sexual issues. Now whether or not the couple admits to it is a different story. I'm a firm believer that some talking could solve most of those issues. Open up, speak your mind. Your partner isn't a mind reader, nor can they automatically know what you like and what you need. Guide them, discuss it...do what you have to do. But the important thing is... just do it. It's essential to both partners' happiness that they are sexually satisfied. Otherwise, the fear and doubt start trickling in. With women, it's usually internalized and they blame it on themselves. With men, I've personally noticed the same trending. Then the feelings of resentment and hurt start up, and then it just keeps snowballing from there. END it before it starts. Start the conversation in bed, after sex, during sex, whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. Do not be embarrassed to talk about sex, or what you like. If you are having sex with this person, you kind of owe it to them to give them some hints along the way about satisfying you.
