YAY! SOMEONE LOVES ME!!!!
NEW HATEMAIL!!! 10/13/06
Much in the vein of the Elitist goths hate me page, this is here as a little example.
The Gothic Toybox list of hatemail can be counted on one hand, or rather, 2 fingers.
I moderate the posts I get in my guestbook before they go up in case some inconsiderate moron decides to preach hatred and stupidity, etc in there, because - that's just fucking rude and no one cares to read that shit. You don't crash someone's wedding and throw roast beef in the bride's face - likewise, you don't fuck with my guestbook. :)
So, to make an example of said asshats, I am posting my current lovenote, but also with my feedback.
Here's the person's comments. My comments in blue.
Your name please...... Biatch
Well, that about sums up the fact that you're presence is on this page, now doesn't it?
Is that a disembodied head floating behind you? Fuck YOU
I see that a simple yes or no is not complicated enough for you. No need to get all defensive about a disembodied head. It's not like
I put it there. Or, maybe I did. It doesn't really matter. In either case, you must learn to love the disembodied head and stop
blaming it and me for your general disatisfaction with life, and need to boost your petulant little ego by putting a misplaced
Fuck You on a webpage which you apparently do NOT understand the premise of. I think you just need a BIIIIIIG HUUUUUG.
There. Isn't that better??!!
Comments: your thing about turning goth is so fucken stupid. im "gothic" and i reckon ur all a bunch of losers who can kiss my ass
So, you're "gothic" TM? My, they expect such a licensing fee fpr that title these days. I'm not sure I can believe you unless you have the proper ID. I am also very sorry that you are still living under the pretense that you must label yourself like a jar of jam, but eventually, I imagine that you will grow out of it. So, not only are you offended by the fact that I have a sense of humor (which is the problem with most people who are "Gothic" TM, you apparently think that I am a "bunch of losers who can kiss my ass". Wow, how did you know about all the other people in my head? AMAZING! You must also be "Psychic" TM. As for the ass kissing, no thanks, I'll pass. I'm sure you'll find someone else far more willing to spring your friendly proposition on.
You know, really, I'm quite disappointed with your criticism. You tell me I suck, but you don't give me any solid reason WHY. If you're going to tell me my website is stupid, then you need to be more constructive with your reasoning, such as "Your website is bad because the coding is voraciously misshapen, the color scheme makes babies cry, and frankly the content does not fulfill the initial purpose of which you set out to achieve. The wording is lacking in clarity and meaning and i am failing to grasp your constant use of the word "SPLEEN".
Favorite band? my chemical romance
AHA! Now I see where the problem is. You need to stop listening to that kind of stuff. It makes you feel all hurty inside.
Favorite foot? my right one
Why is it that people love to put nasty comments on here and then still answer some of my other questions properly?
What is that thing next to you?! A BIRD CAGE...AND A GUN...WANNA SCREW WIT ME ILL KILL U
Yeah, you really gotta lay off the EMO. Or whatever it is you're taking.
First of all, let me remind you that you are writing in what is called a GUESTBOOK, meaning that you are a GUEST on MY page. If someone was a GUEST in YOUR house and took a nice smelly DUMP on your shoes as soon as they stepped in, they wouldn't be much of a guest, now would they?
As you are a GUEST, that means that you don't HAVE to come here, you were not necessarily even asked to come, and your behaviour by signing in such a manner is rude as well as disrespectful. When I visit the houses of people as guest, I do not make unsolicitied threats or rude comments and neither does most of the rest of the population.
My point being: I did not ask you to come here. If you do not like it, then leave. Any more comments such as your from you or anyone else will be reported to Angelfire without fail.
Mind your manners.
People who listen to the music that you claim to and are "gothic" TM, are usually too weepy or full of ennui to make such comments, let alone own fire arms. I'm not sure where exactly the bird cage comes into the picture, is that before or after the gun? No thanks, once again I'm not in the mood to kiss ass or screw. But my, you do sound so very tough on the other end of that keyboard. I think we have some excess anger that we direct at people who have not wronged us in any way, shape or form. A shame that. If you came here with something to prove, you have failed. You have failed to realize what kind of site this is, you have failed to grasp what someone who doesn't take themselves seriously is like, and you have failed to inspire either fear or hatred in me. In fact, I feel for you. I feel for anyone who has the time and lack of self worth to come to a website like mine or any other, and put down people who they don't even know and will never see, simply because they need to hurt someone because of an unrelated problem or issue. It's apparent that things are not going your way, and for that I am truly sorry.
Busting in here, however, and being all high and mighty about something that has no relevance is not the answer. I'm sure I'm not the only person that you've hit with nasty comments, and I undoubtedly will not be the last. Why is it, might I ask, that people who don't like what I put up here, like to come here and read it? Why are you even wasting your time and energy - enough time and energy to post on a MODERATED website where your comments aren't going to be viewed unless i'm commenting/ridiculing them? Why? As with the others who have visited, have the decency to read my mission statement.
New question! What flavor is periwinkle? WTF IS THAT
Have you never owned a box of 64 crayola crayons? MY! no WONDER you're so angry. I suggest you purchase one straightaway! it will make you feel SOO much better. I LOVE YOU!!!! (HUGS)
URL: I dont know
Well, neither do I! What a coincidence. :) We must be soul mates.
Any comments?: I think you just may be a poser,
Oh honestly. What is it with the influx of people judging my character based on something as shallow as a website? I don't go around , bored on the net and leaving baseless comments in other people's guestbooks. I'm rather tired of the same old stuff about "You're not a real goth, you're fake, you try too hard to be weird, blah blah blah. Give it a rest! What you see up here is a portion of who I am, and most of it is not to be taken seriously. It's a shrine to the dark eccentric side of me, if you must.
anyone who lables themself as anything...ANYTHING...
but human is certainly trying to brag.
Well, see, I've tried calling myself human, but that never seems to work. People give me these funny looks. Guess I'm not fooling anyone. It doesn't help when my antennae are sticking out. I agree with the notion that labels are worthless in that many people pigeonhole themselves into them wrongfully. YOU ARE PREACHING TO THE CHOIR. Ahem. It seems that you are another one of those poor souls, however, who has fallen victim to my ruse of taking myself and the almighty dogma of GOTH seriously. Haha, I snicker.
Thats really poserish..um,
if you want to be considered goth,
just walk around but dont say anything...
Uh...huh. right then. I beg your pardon, but...aren't you refering to mimes? The two can easily mistaken for one another I suppose.
geez ..whatever, I was bored
Yes, I see that. Do you think you could possibly rot your brain on bleepy bloopy binky online games instead of leaving silly comments in my guestbook and taking me too seriously? Oh yeah. And use more moist towellettes. So there.
OK. First of all, I'd like to say I'm of mixed feelings about this one. It could be the product of one of two things. (A.) The typical sad ass humorless Goth who wants to belittle my "treatment" of the subculture and defend Gothdom for all time by putting forth weak comments and arguments....OR (B) it could be someone who is trying to see if they can get into my hatemail page by trying my brand of humor and throwing it back at me. While I sincerely would rather have option 2 instead of the usual stale excuse, I am left only to ponder. (deep sigh).
Your name please...... Anonymous One
Why hello Mr. or Mrs. One. Lovely day, don't you think? Can I call you Anon? Or is that too informal?
Favorite color? Purple And Black
Silly, I only asked for ONE color. You're not allowed two, especially not purple and black - unless you're Romell. I'm pretty sure Razed in Black has those colors trademarked. ;)
Is that a disembodied head floating behind you? Yes, and it's my only friend...
Well, that explains it then. How much emotional bonding and support can one get from a disembodied head? It's obvious your needs are not being met to their fullest. I suggest you get a puppy. With a body attached to it.
Comments: This site is pathetic - "goth" is not JUST all black and using black toothpaste is not "goth"...it's people like you who give real Goths a bad name...And not ALL Goths are depressed or suicidal or "sorrowful"...they're peole who are different and experience all emotions...this is a terrible site.
Alrighty then, if you've done this simply to get yourself on my hatemail page, then BRAVO monsieur. Fait Accompli. Granted, your comments are very trite, even for someone who may being doing this in humor, but I applaud your attempt all the same.
Here's the part where I scold you about trying to lecture me on "GOTH".
I see you are a member of the secret coalition of "REAL GOTHS" (TM) who find me a powerful international threat to their spookiness, as if I alone have the power of grayskull and can bring forth the downfall of their mopey empire by shooting sunshine and flowers out my ass (TM). You haven't told me anything I don't know already. I KNOW goth isn't all black. Sometimes it's chatreuse. Sometimes it's blue. Depends on your latitude, really.
How would you know if using black toothpaste isn't GOTH? Have you tried any?
Yes yes, I am SO giving real goths a bad name. I'll admit it. I am the world BIGGEST poseur. I use Switchblade Symphony CDs for drink coasters. I faked all those cemetery pictures on my photo page. They were all made out of necco wafers. My entire wardrobe is beige. BEIGE BEIGE BEIGE. And I like to SMILE. :) :) :) :)
I really do hope you were kidding, but I can't expect you to be because, like it or not, humorless, clueless GAWTHS do in fact decide that it is their duty to make themselves feel better and denounce my website as heathen to the predominant culture. (There's irony). From what I can tell, you haven't even gotten your ankles wet in my site, as most of your problems seem to be with my "How to be Goth in 12 steps" page.
I am fully aware that not all GOTHS are sad and drowning in tears. Some of them are perky. And psychotic. Sometimes caffeinated. More than they should be. boing.
However, something new that you so astutely pointed out to me, is that Goths are peole. (Which of course is very much like people, but without that extraneous P). AND, not only THAT, but they are DIFFERENT and express ALL emotions.
What exactly are Goths different from? Cheese? Handbags? Kuala Lampur? I'll be up all night thinking about this one. Now, wait wait wait. And, GOTHS express ALL emotions? I....mistakenly thought that maybe...humans...did that. Is everyone else restricted to a handfull of emotions then? That explains why I'm always so cranky. Hmmmmm.
I'm truly sorry my site is so terrible. I'd like to apologize to all the "real goths" (TM) out there...I..I've ruined your superficial label...and (sniffle) I'm a really bad person (sniffle sniffle) for trying to make you laugh.....it was all a communist plot. I can't live with myself anymore....I'm so very fake. (sob) I'm going to go back to Abercrombie and Fitch, where I belong. (wailing) Please forgive me.....
Favorite band?: Any Death Metal/Heavy Metal
You have trouble answering in specifics, I see.
Favorite foot?: Favorite Foot? My right one.
WRONG ANSWER!!!! Sorry. You have to repeat the course all over again.
What is that thing next to you?! Why do you care?
Because, my child, I love thee. After all, you're the one whose only friend is a disembodied head. I worry about you. Call me.
Why are oranges the only fruit named after a color? I've always wondered that. : Don't wonder...understand.
Oooooooh. That's so deep I'm getting the bends. But, what do you want me to understand? TELL ME!! I MUST KNOW!!! Teach me and uplift me from this lowly mortal plane with your obscure wisdom!!!!
Your name please...... Senovia
Such a pretty name, what a shame.
Favorite color? pink
Am I supposed to be disturbed by this? Why is it that when I get hatemail, people's favorite colors are pink and white? Oooooooh, pink. Scary. Never mind that I have hot pink nails at the moment, and I have a habit of wearing black and hot pink frequently. There's nothing wrong with pink. I like it. Shame for you though, as you state that you want nothing in common with me later on in your post. :)
Is that a disembodied head floating behind you? nothing
.....nothing? I don't mean to call the grammar police, but if you meant to say NO, you missed.
Comments: I think you are an idiot! omg, you are the type of person that gives others bad names. You give real "goths" a bad image. And you don't notice how you are exactly like everyone you hate.you are narrow minded as hell!!!!!! look at the stupid shit you hate...people who mow their lawns with a flasnight....or maybe you're just trying to damn hard to be weird...i shouldn't worry though i know one day you'll grow out of your stupid phase, and realize you are not GOTHIC..at all. you're ugly..and i dont mean that in a superficial way.
Ah here we go. REAL "GOTHS". What kind of bad image do I give them? They don't need my help, if there are any REAL "GOTHS" with a bad name, they are doing it to themselves by being pretentious jerks. Is laughing at a subculture and seeing the funny side of it and it's flaws a bad thing? Hardly. Would you care to define REAL GOTHS for me and everyone else? I've been looking for a textbook definition.
Supposedly I am exactly like everyone I hate. Hmmmmm, so I am a Marilyn Manson worshipper, a Spice Girl, a black pile of snow that doesn't melt until July, Britney Spears, and Pretentious? Somehow I don't think it's physically possible to be all those things at once. As far as the flashlight lawn mowing - THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. It's a product of middle aged men living in suburban hell who are always yelling at the kids to get off their perfectly manicured lawn. All the stuff on my "hate list" are things that genuinely irk me, and I have every right to dislike them. Some are silly, some are stupid and trivial, sure. but some are also very valid.
I am narrow minded as hell! Aren't you sweet? Look dearie, you have no grounds for that, because you are basing your view on me almost entirely (from what I can tell) from ONE PAGE on my site, and you don't know me as a person. This is the first time, in fact ,that I have been accused of being narrow minded - EVER. I have all I can do to not laugh myself into a coma. And by saying I am just like everyone I hate - specifically the item of pretentious - you have even less right to make such a comment. I don't even have enough of a reputation or a big enough ego to be considered pretentious, let alone narrow minded by ANYONE. Why? Because I do my own thing and don't care what all the other "REAL GOTHS" do.
I'm trying to damn hard to be weird. AHAHHAHAAAAAHHAAAAAAHAHHAHAA.
That's faboo Senovia. I'm gonna tell all my friends about THAT one. I've never TRIED to be weird. There is no TRY, there is only DO. I wasn't trying when I wore hoopskirts to highschool. Wasn't trying when I covered a roommates bed entirely in fuzzy skulls. Also wasn't trying when a friend and I put towels on our heads and did a silly tribal dance to Head Like a Hole. Have you seen how truly fucked up the rest of my site is? Weird doesn't cover the half of it. Making such shallow guesses at my personality does little to improve your standing, my dear.
Oh, thanks for not worrying about my trivial little "GOTHIC" phase that has lasted for a good 8 years. I'm 28 and there seems to be no growing out of something that seems to be a distinct part of myself. I should have grown out of toys and stuffed animals aeons ago if you follow society's standards. How sweet of you to groundlessly label me as a poseur in a phase. Please can I be your valentine! (smooch!)
As far as realizing I'm not "GOTHIC" at all, I'm already over that. It's a silly label that isn't worth pigeonholeing oneself into. It's too limiting. If I was going to call myself GOTHIC, I would only be banging my head against the preconceived notions and hackneyed stereotypes and getting a load of shit for trying because there's always someone who knows EVERYTHING about goth.(you apparently) And as with God (or lack of God) as their witness they will TELL YOU what you are, because they are just that holy.(pretentious). Seems you know such a TREMENDOUS amount about what is goth and what isn't to be telling me that I'm in a phase and not "GOTHIC" at all. I don't give a flying rat's ass if people think I'm goth or not. I don't sit up crying at night about it, it's a fucking waste of my time. I like what I like, and if it falls into the category of goth, well woo-hoo.
Aww. I'm ugly. (tear)
No dear, I think that statement reflects more effectively on you, as you have chosen to attack me based on trivial information on a personal webpage of someone you have never even met. People who make such baseless judgements of others are the ones far more worthy of being deemed ugly. Ugly people start wars, hurt others, steal, lie, torment, etc. They don't make ridiculous satirical webpages for fun, to vent frustrations, and to provoke laughter. As is almost always the case with someone who is irate enough to actually slam me in my guestbook, YOU ARE TAKING THIS WAAAAY TOO SERIOUSLY.
Favorite band? i rather not have anything in commonw/ u
I don't ask this question to find things in common with other people, I ask it so I and other people can see what kind of music my visitors are into. Music is a very important thing to me. Oh, and sorry, we have the like of PINK in common. And the fact that we both breathe air. Sorry to disappoint you hon.
Favorite foot? the one thats shoved up your ass
Wow, you've got a special foot for that? Gee, gotta get me one of them. (looks at ass)
I'm thinking your foot missed, by the way. Nothing back here.
What is that thing next to you?! another person who agrees with my post
(waves) Hello person who agrees with the post! It's good to have friends to bully others with. Yay! two people hate me at the same time. I'm sooo special. :)
Why are oranges the only fruit named after a color? I've always wondered that.
So that you can wonder some pseudo deep thought and put it as a question on your guest book..and be ...oo soo gothic.
Oooh. My tender feelings...I...can't...take...this...anymore...(sobbing)
The question about the oranges is supposed to be stupid and silly. I put it there to see what kind of things people will say. I have better things to do than pondering the zen of oranges. Are you accusing me of being gothic again? Please stop that. I keep trying to tell you people I'm not goth, and damn you, you won't listen.
Your name please...... jrton
You might want to do something about that name, it's lacking in vowels. Makes it hard for us english speaking folk to pronounce.
Favorite color? white
How original to be such a little rebel...piss off some goth you don't know by saying your favorite color is white.
I shiver! (Obviously you are unaware that I'm wearing PINK right now. Oooh! I said it! PINK!!)
how did you find my page: search engine
Ah.... this gives me a clue. Based on your attitude and the comments below, you seem like the angsty moronic teenage type who has NOTHING better to do than look up Goth webpages because Goths piss you off, and then leave rude and unwarranted comments in their guestbook. And trust me, Miss Cleo knows all. ;)
Is that a disembodied head floating behind you? no
Oh, not even a little? It might be, you never know.
Comments: I think you are a friekn' nerd you goth piece of shit I hope you die and rot in hell............- jrton-
Well, basically at this moment I should be emotionally crushed as you think I'm a nerd. Actually, nerd is a badge of pride where I come from. I aspire to be a geek, really. I just love basing my self esteem on other people's narrow minded opinions. Oh, and I'm a "goth" piece of shit. Does that mean I'm darker than the normal color of shit? Wow. I never thought ANYONE would take the label THAT far. I didn't know shit COULD be goth. Never mind how often I am decrying labels, especially Goth. perhaps I should reconsider based on my new level of status. Yes, I WILL die, you don't have to hope for it. It happens to everyone. Even you. As far as rotting in hell? That doesn't happen by merely being a piece of goth shit. that happens to lawyers and bad politicians, of which I am neither. Oh, and by the way, Jesus still loves you. Smile. :)
Favorite band? there was a band listed here that didn't copy over for some reason. Tell me, why would you go to the trouble to insult me and then list a favorite band anyhow?
What is that thing next to you?! hopefully your heart I just ripped out with a dull spoon you bastard
Speaking like Yoda you almost are. And quoting a line preowned by Alan Rickman as the Sheriff in Robin Hood. Ah...Alan Rickman. What a man. oh..ermm, anyway. My, you are an original fellow. What? You're only hopeful that you ripped out my heart? Did you miss? Are you blindly waving a spoon around in the dark? And aren't most spoons dull anyway? I mean, sometimes I sharpen mine, but that's only to keep the gnomes off my lawn.
So very sorry dear, but your hatred has no place here or in anyone else's guestbook.
So, as warriors once put the heads of the conquered on pikes to deter further attacks, here I spear this hatemail and toast it over the friendly campfire of my webpage, for soon it shall be wedged between the holy graham crackers and be so very tasty. Moral: attempting to ruin my day is quite a waste of time. Don't bother.
I Love you! :)