Everything I Really Need to Know About Life I learned from Buffy

Again I need to pound this in that I didn't come up with this, & I'm making no money off of it. This came from the Buffy/ ANGEL Yearbook Fall 2000 issue.

Nobody deserves mime § Contrary to popular mythology, the world did not begin as paradise § Love makes you do the wacky § A vague disclaimer is no one's friend § The books live in the library § Not every thing is about kissing . . .some stuff is about groping § Ho-hos are a vital part of the cognitive process § Raiding an Englishman's fridge is like dating a nun - you're never going to get the good stuff § John Tesh is the devil § Spontaneous human combustion is rare and scientifically unexplainable § No one cool has Epstien-Barr § Apocalypse now is a gay romp § Its a little weird to date some one who tries to eat you once a month § Irony is kind of ironic § There are 7 annual minutes that guys don't want sex § Antonio Bandaris is not a vampire § Being in a band is a business-class ticket to cool, with complementary mojo after take-off § Thanksgiving is a sham . . .a sham with yams . . .a yam sham § All monkeys are french and wear pants § Looking at linoleum makes teenage boys think about sex § You don't sneak up during crime § Tact is just say not true stuff § Fairy tales are real § It is statistical impossibility for a sixteen year old to unplug the phone § The fun part of the Black Plague is that it originated form Europe as an early from of germ warfare § Generally speaking, when scary things get scared, not good § Seeing you mom Frenching a guy is a one-way ticket to therapyland § It's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not interlock § Being popular isn't just a right, its a responsibility § Guys will do anything to impress a girl § Country music is the music of pain § Even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments § You think you know . . .what's to come, what you are . . . you haven't even begun § Life is short § Carp deim - Seize the Fish § If you're loves bitch be man enough to admit it § Humans are Happy Meals with legs § When hunting vampires be sneakier § There quite a few American beers that are highly under rated § Eventually some nasty thing will get a taste of you § Mostly dead things are what they put in museums § Death is on your heels and sooner or later it's gonna catch you §

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