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Articles

I tend to write a lot. Here are some of the articles I have written. All of which are relevent, or have been relevent to me at one time. So enjoy.
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Prep to Goth

7th Feburary 2006
Prep
I never actively chose what I wore as a child, my family used to buy me and my sister matching outfits. Oh how we hated them, I swear they were torture. We always looked the same, the only difference was height and hair colour. So when we could choose what we wanted to wear the seperation was complete and permenant. My sister chose trousers and T-Shirts and I chose to wear colours, skirts, dresses and the type of clothes my friends wore but my sister didn't.
When I moved up to highschool we had a uniform. But I began caring about names. My trainers had to be Nike or Adidas, not because they were better, but because of the name. My PE clothes were all named. Looking back it was a bit stupid.
Then came the make-up. The same style. We never experimented, but even our make-up had to be named. Rimmel this, Max factor that. You couldn't pop down to the market and get the exact same thing for half the price.
We all listened to the same music, not because we liked it, but because it was chart music and the rest of the girls had to didn't they? So we were damned to listen to crap music and act like it was the shit when it was just shit.
The attitude you needed was to bitch about people and be able to hold your own. It was nothing but a bickering pack of girls. We all thought we were all that, we were so grown up. But we never were. We were never happy.

Then slowly I began to change. My religion was no longer Christian. I was Pagan. I began to teach the few friends I had what it was and some of them became pagan too. We joined a coven and for the first time I felt happy. I wasn't prep here. I had my own mind. I was encouraged to actually think.
Well our High Priestess was sent to a home and I took over temporarily. And that's about the time things took a bad turn. See, my nan nan died, my uncle died and my great grandma died. I suffered from manic depression. Then our RE teacher found out about us. She encouraged the school to kill us, an encouragement some people acted upon. An event that will forever burn in my memory and haunt me.
Is it any wonder then, that by the end of the year, and highschool when a boy from school died that I was a wreck? He wasn't my friend, but he was part of one of my groups, I saw and talked to him a lot and that crushed me.
Copywrite Altus Presencia

Goth
Well, I started college the same preppy wreck I left highschool. The only difference was, I was now even more terrified of being different. But college soon had me on that one. They found out I was pagan and ok one boy did try to push me, but he was almost thrown out and my class was so supportive I began to get my courage back. I had left my coven and my class was now filling that part of my life. They encouraged me to be outspoken, loud, individual and to think.
Slowly but surely I started growing into myself. I changed my hair colour. I went cosmic blue, which is black but with a hint of blue. The group loved it and I was confident. I developed my own style, my own look and even my own way of applying make-up, which will constantly and forever change.
So here I was, developing my own style, my own taste in music, allowed to be me with no repremands, no hordes about to strike... And you know what? I had friends, wonderful friends whom I can never repay for their kindness. I was happy. Suffering from manic depression, but still, I was happy at times.
As I went through college I began to be more me. And that just happened to be what is labled as gothic. But I also stopped taking medication and found the strength to work through my depression. I'm still not over it and want to die over the smallest things, but that passes. Usually without anyone noticing.
I couldn't be better now. I have the most amazing boyfriend.
I have my own sense of self
I'm confident
I'm happy