In dreams I see myself flying
Closer to the sun and I'm climbing
Tried to touch the sun
But the brightness burned my eyes
Unconscious or am I conscious?
Fell from the sky like a star
Sometimes I feel as though I'm frozen in Heaven

And I saw my own face in the dark and loneliness
And I saw my own face like a spark frozen in Heaven
-Fear Factory, Invisible Wounds

I am depressed. Lonely. Suicidal. Confused. Angry. Abused. Abandoned. Destroyed. In love. Hurting. Scared. Paranoid. Demented. Clueless. Lost. Desperate. hopefulless. Isolated. Anti-social. Stupid. Aggresive. Short-tempered. Worried. Pessimistic. Withdrawn. Addicted. Insane. Moody. Unsure. Mopey. Foresaken. Strange. Freaky. Morbid. Tense. Stressed. Unstable. Vulnerable. Weak. Violent. Bipolar. Betrayed. Heartbroken. Psychotic. Somber.

Companions: Jon, Tasha, Melody

Friends: Laura, Tony, Sara, Becky, Brian, Carissa

"Friends": Kirsten, Megan, Kathy
^People who makes me feel like shit alot^
Acquaintances whom seem better than my "friends" most times: Andrea, Kaitlynn, Samantha, Sarah (not the bad one), Morgan, Rachel, Kate (Katie?)

I have no contact with my acquaintances.
My "friends", I prefer not to speak to. Or see. Ever.
My friends are okay people, but not ones I can get close to. Just people to call when I'm bored for a few minutes.
My companions are the only people who I am open with. Whom I love dearly. Whom I barely can talk to because non are available much anymore (Tasha, hurry up and come back home! I need someone to talk to!). But I still love them. Jon probably much more..No offense, guys. But I have my reasons.

I love writing, be it dreams, poetry, short stories, journal entries, etc..
I love music. I love Dimmu Borgir, System of a Down, Amorphis, Deadsy, Static-X, Psychotica, Mudvayne, Adema, Rob Zombie, Powerman 5000, Papa Roach, Disturbed, Godsmack, Psycho Realm, Kovenant, Marilyn Manson, Howling Syn, Goo Goo Dolls, Orgy, Korn, Random Noise Generator, Rammstein, Red hot Chili Peppers, Eminem, AFI, and probably many other bands I cannot think of right now.
I like reading. I don't do much now because I'm either too lazy, or the book will put my mind into another frenzy about life not being the way it is in the book. I fear the images fantasy and sci-fi put into my head.
I like jewelry. I love rings mostly. And necklaces. Then bracelets. No toe rings or ankle bracelets.
I'm obsessed with Frank (The Rescusers Down Under), Daron Malakian (System of a Down), Gerard Butler (Dracula 2000), rings, buying cd's, and most importantly, Jon. I do love him too.

I hate: Myself. Everything about myself, almost. My fake friends. My parents, most of the time. Phil. Sweat. Dry feet. Wet socks. The toilet that always overflows. The lilac bush outside my bedroom window. My bad luck. My slow computer. Worms and leeches. People who make me hold worms and leeches. The fact that a boy I used to like got hit and killed by a car. Drunk drivers. Hospitals. People who honk at me when I go for late night walks. The cops. Time.

I have aim, and msn messanger. But you'll have to beg before I give that information out.

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