Howie
I was on cloud nine - I had made it! I was in! I had actually been chosen as a part of that musical group. It didn’t even have a name yet, but luckily it did have two familiar faces - Alex the puppet kid and Nicky Carter, this little blonde kid that turned up at a lot of the same auditions Alex and I were at. Funny enough the three of us used to joke about starting a group together. It’s amazing how things work out.
Of course after that good there had to be some bad. My car wouldn’t start after the audition, so Jessie came and picked me up. My mother, after hearing the news, insisted she stay til dinner, which ended up being a huge deal because she scrounged up every family member we have in a fifty mile radius. It was fun, though. Jessica had to jet shortly after we ate, so I bowed out of the celebration and started walking for Georgie’s. I couldn’t wait to tell her my news, I'd wanted to all day. She was one of the few people that never thought my conviction about becoming a performer was at all odd. During the last two years that was more needed than she’d ever know.
I misjudged the weather because about two blocks from her house it started to sprinkle. I patted my hair self-consciously, knowing it was bound to puff out at any second. Strangely enough George was already outside, sitting on the large stone that had been on her front lawn as long as I could remember. “Hey you!” I called to her. She didn’t turn her head. “Georgie!” I tried again. She looked that time but said nothing. “Guess what?” I asked, breaking into a jog. “I made it!” She just stared at me. “I made it, into that group!” Nothing. I slowed down awkwardly. “What’s the matter?”
“I. Saw. You. With. Her.” Her tone was even but her eyes were shining. My pulse immediately started to race.
“What?” I said stupidly after a minute, knowing full well what she meant.
“I saw you this afternoon, when she brought you home. I saw all that.”
I was speechless. I was smart enough to know that there was nothing I could say that would change any of this, but after all the sweet-talking I had done lately I was totally unable to say anything that would gloss it over a little.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she finally asked.
“I...I don’t know what to say.”
She nodded and looked away, pushing her wet hair back from her face. I wanted to go take her in my arms and whisper apologies but I knew she’d never allow that now. She turned to face me again after a minute or two.
“Central turned me away for this semester.”
“What?! I thought--”
“Yeah, I did too. Now I can’t do anything for a semester. I lost my scholarship. I have no idea what I’m going to do.” She looked straight into my eyes. “This is all your fault and you can’t find anything to say.”
It was true, in a way, but suddenly I wanted to defend myself a little. “I’m really sorry, George...but is it fair to say all my fault?” The second the words were out I wanted them back in, but it was too late. She raised her eyebrows and laughed humorlessly.
“What part of this isn’t your fault? You told me to leave Ball State!”
“I didn’t tell you to leave...”
She rolled her eyes. “All but, you begged me to stay,” she said.
“You could have gone back if you wanted, it was your decision,” I muttered. What was my problem? She didn't need this, especially now.
“What?!” she exclaimed, standing.
“Never mind” was what I wanted to say. “You’re not exactly being fair,” was what what came out. She stepped closer.
“First of all, I think I’m being really fair, and secondly, you don’t really deserve fairness anyway!”
“George, please calm down...”
She stalked away, into the street. “No. No! I will not calm down. And I will not be fair. You haven’t been fair to me. How long have you been seeing her?” I said nothing. “Tell me!”
“It’s not important.”
“The hell it’s not!” she cried into what had become a downpour. “How long have you been playing me for the fool, Howard?”
“Look, Georgie, we need to be rational about this,” I told her, following her to the street.
“Why?”
“Because we do.” It was a horrible thing to say and I knew it. “Let’s talk about this.”
“No!”
“We’re not going to at least attempt to discuss this?” I asked incredulously. She shook her head.
“No!”
“Now you’re being unreasonable.” God, why couldn’t I just take total blame and shut up? George put her hands through her hair.
“Good. I don’t care. We’re through. Every definition of we - you and I - is now and forever wiped out.” She started to walk away but I grabbed her arm.
“I’m not accepting that,” I told her. “I don’t want to lose you.” She glared at me.
“I’ve spent too long caring about what you want, Howard.”
“George, please...”
She shook her head again. “No, that’s it. I can’t ever trust you again,” she said, her voice cracking.
“Georgie, you’re my best friend in this world. I need you.” Tears were building in the back of my throat too.
“You should have thought of that before you took advantage of me, of my feelings for you, just to get what you wanted.”
“That’s not true, I do care about you, Georgie,” I said softly. “I’m sorry.”
She pulled away from my grip. “I...I don’t care. I don’t want to talk to you ever again,” she almost whispered as the rain streamed off her. It was my turn to shake my head, wiping rain and tears from my face.
“You don’t want that.”
“I can’t handle anything else.” She started to walk away, then stopped and stuck her hand in her pocket. She then turned and threw something at me. “You earned it.” I looked down and saw a dollar bill laying in the street, rapidly being saturated. I looked back up at her in confusion. She smiled sadly. “I’m making good on my offer, for the first time. I told you I’d give you a dollar if you ever hurt me. There you go. Goodbye.” She walked back to the house.
“George! Please!”
Nothing.
“Georgie!”
She opened the door.
“George!”
And walked into the house.
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