You! Yes you! Look down. Look at your legs. What are you wearing? Pants! Somehow the cavemans loincloth turned into the "poofy pants" of the rennasainse era, then changing into modern day jeans. Believe it or not, there are only three steps in the evolution to modernday pants. But, fellow citizens, we have forgotten the true purpose of pants; to cover our "special areas". Thats good and all, but isnt that the point of undergarmets? I mean really, whats the use of pants when youve got on some boxers underneath em? To have your car keys fall out onto the parkinglot blacktop to be forever lost, to have your fly wide open while speaking infront of your corporation scarring you for life and having sales drop because people are too busy laughing at you, or is it that you actually enjoy the rattle of the remaining three orange Tic-Tacs in that hard plastic box? What is mans fasination with pants? Only one thing could lead the masses into infatuation with something so careless and self destructive; evil. Yes my friends, pants are as evil as Hitler, Lonestar Steakhouse, even Louie Anderson naked in the middle of a smowstorm. Romans 12:2 says "Do not conform to the ways of this world..." and the world has obviously conformed to pant-wearing. What the heck is a pant and why is a pair only one item? I tell you why; its Satan trying to confuse us with those awful mind tricks of his. Blast that devil! But what about the shame that God has given us? Well, I never said I was pro-nudist, just "anti-pantular". Im all about the boxers and what-not. Plus pants cost money, then you gotta get belts for your pants which can sometimes break. Think of all the money one could save without those purchases. Thats a whole lot of stinkin' money. One could buy a new car with that cash easily, or you could have frozen waffles for breakfast every morning!!! How sweet is that? Ill tell you, its very sweet. What? Youre still wearing pants? Foreshame...