Disclaimer: All the usual stuff. I donít own any of this, and Iím making no profit.
Summary: Rogue thinks about why Logan left. Movieverse.
Authorís Note: Iíve read so many stories where Rogue mopes around the mansion, wishing Logan would come back that I decided to take a slightly different approach to how Rogue feels at the end of the movie.
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By: Addie Logan
People say if you hear voices in your head, youíre crazy. I hear voices, but I donít think Iím crazy. If I am, the voices came before the insanity, not the other way around.
Wolverine. Logan. Heís one of the voices in my head. There are other voices there, too, like David, the first boy I kissed, or those truck drivers I met on the way to Canada that got a little too friendly, and Magnetoóbut Loganís in the loudest. Sometimes heís practically screaming. Itís in those times that I donít know where he ends and I begin. All his memories, his thoughts, are mine and I see the world the way he does.
The first time I ever saw him he was in a cage, fighting like no man Iíd ever seen. My mind can be like a cage to him, and sometimes, he fights to get out.
Thatís when the nightmares come, and suddenly, Iím screaming, too.
Other times, Loganís voice is quiet, almost ashamed that he let me know the pain he knows. He wanted to hide it all from me. Iím his precious, innocent MarieóI never needed to see his darker side. But Iíve seen it now. How could I not? Itís my darker side now, too.
Thereís one memoryóone thoughtóthat Logan wanted me to know the least. The last time we touched it was the only thought in his mind, and yet, I was never supposed to hear it. Even now the part of my mind that is more Logan than me tells me it isnít true.
But I know itís true.
I know why Logan ran.
I was dead in his arms, and he held me. He held me until he could ignite the single spark of life that was left in my body. He thought heíd lost me. He thought heíd lost the woman he loved.The woman he loved. I love you, Marie.
That was the last thought in Loganís mind before his world went dark and I could breathe again. He never wanted me to hear those words, but I did all the same. They were as clear in my mind as they mustíve been in his. And whether he allows himself to believe it or not, he knows I heard.
So he ran. He ran from me and the chance that someone might know all one can know about the Wolverineóand love him still. Itís funny when I think about it, how a man like him could be scared enough of me to run away.
I havenít told anyone that I know why Logan ranóthat it has nothing to do with what may or may not be up in Canada. And Iím sure the Professor either knows where Logan is or could find him easily, but Iíll never ask. As I lay awake at night, clutching Loganís dogtags like a rosary and praying to whatever deity will listen, I think maybe itís better that heís gone.
If was here, all heíd have to do would be look into my eyes, and heíd know.
His voice is loud and clear in my head. Sometimes, he shouts so loudly that I cease to become myself.
I want to run from the truth, too.