When I was a boy of 17,
ungainly, dull and tall,
as green as any gosling,
but I thought I knew it all.
I went to school at Mickle High;
I chopped up wood and chored.
I worked for Zacheous Mickle,
to pay him for my board.
One day, Fineous Finney,
another boy at school,
about as big as I,
and about as big a fool,
just hinted in a private way,
t'would be a right-smart feature,
to go in school that day,
and up and trick the teacher.
So it recess we all planned it,
we scampered in pell-mell,
I ran against the waterpail
on purpose, and I fell.
That scrawny little teacher
bounded from his chair.
He grabbed me by the coat collar,
and held me in the air.
He switched me with his ruler,
till my pants were nearly dry.
He switched me and he switched me,
till I thought that I would die.
Big Fineous Finney
was just too scared to laugh;
he let the teacher lick me
till I bellered like a calf,
And all the other boys
with scared and fightened looks
sat shaking in their very boots
with noses in their books.
Where is that scrawny little teacher,
who gave me such a scare?
He's still as sickly looking,
and he sitting over there,,,
But he taught me one great lesson,
by that flogging in the school,
that a braggart and a bully
is a coward and a fool.