I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.
I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
My reality check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience.
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
The more garbage you put up with, the more garbage you are going to get.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
If you run into someone you hate put it in reverse and hit them again.
Nice guys finish last? I was the nicest one in my P.E. class.
Kill all the teachers pets
leave none to stand
dont feed the super model
shes better than you
remember the Titans
you never have to think of them again in your life
my hand hurts when I do this
then dont do that
Im a nerd
I eat spare time
I fell
Im accident prone
Im not an outcast
Oh, yeah I am...never mind
gatorade:
not at all like nose spray
please do not eat this new product
does anyone really know what time it is?
does anyone really care?
1+1=2 2+2=4 4+4=8 8+8=16 16+16=32
and so on
its lonely at the top
yeah, if your at the bottum
leave me alone
ok
Will you go out with me?
Ive got no clue who you are so...I think not