Lunar Landing
By wormfoot

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PLOT: Darien and a feline Luna decide to have fun while Serena and Artemis are not around. Do I need to elaborate?
LENGTH: 517 words
RATING: M/Hentai

COMMENTS: Q: What's worse than a trollfic author? A: Four trollfic authors. Yes, you heard me. This, uh, gem was done by an account comprised of four authors. Granted, it's uncertain if all four authors actually worked on this, but even so, the possibility of a trollfic CLAMP (or a badfic CLAMP, depending on your point of view) is frightening at best and a reason to check out of the land of the living early at worst. It makes you wonder what an epic would look like under these guys...

Anyhow, this is a trollfic, no doubt about it, and not just because Darien - yes, this is a dub fic - likes to stroke him some black pussy(cat).The other signs indicating foul are simply too hard to ignore. Aside from the uncomfortable pairing and the suggestive title (or maybe not suggestive enough - "Cat Screwing" may have been more appropriate), and as a warning it is a tad more uncomfortable than Artemis' Lover (especially for Luna) we have the author(s)' note proclaiming this oneshot to be a beautiful, wonderful story - even as you notice two lines down that Luna is coming onto Darien. We have similies comparing sex with illegal immigration done in a way that John Waters wouldn't touch with a sixty foot pole. We have a laundry list of Gray's Anatomy terms, which readily calls to mind Gillian von Karmann and her boring explicitness. And then we have Darien sticking his dinglehopper into Luna's ear, of all places to stick it (is it really that small?! WOW!) and waxing her private parts.

Perhaps the only mercy of this fic is the underlying moral: Don't have sex with a cat, because your penis will stab her in the heart and kill her upon climax. (Wait a minute...) That and the author(s) knows you're a pervert, as the author's note at the end suggests. Not sure which one I would prefer, to be honest, but one thing is for certain: I hope this is the last multi-author trollfic I see, because who knows what may happen next?

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