The Ultimate Life and The Outer Senshi
by Crossoverman

1 2 3 4 5
Beryl's Lullaby

PLOT: One day, Shadow met Amara, and they fell in love, but they had to part. Now comes the sequel, and they finally get together. Will their love be able to conquer the evil that threatens the world?
NEW CHARACTERS: Sailor Galaxia's mom, Cyber-Beryl, The "Original" Zoicite, various grunts from the Negaverse, Black Doom and Eggman, Keira aka Sailor Emo
LENGTH: 5571 words; Lullaby 254 words

COMMENTS: You know, it's not often that you get badifc that has any of the Outer Senshi as main characters. It really isn't. So when I find something with them that's potentially bad, I jump on that sucker and see if it's really as bad as it seems. And in this case, I'm both glad and sad that I did. Glad that I came upon it, and sad enough to pour an entire bottle of Triaminic and Codeine down my throat to end to agony - because it actually exists.

What we have here is someone who clearly worships Shadow the Hedgehog - to the detriment of Haruka/Amara, who in an ideal world is in many ways Shadow's equal. Somehow, meeting Shadow has turned Amara a weak and wimpy damsel in distress - and worse, she's made straight. By a hedgehog. Who becomes human for the sole purpose of giving Haruka a Sue child. No, there's no wish fulfillment (or, for that matter, bestiality) going on here. It's clear the author has a thing for this couple, and judging by some of the other stories he's put up, this type of canon-fucking is not uncommon with him.

Oh, and don't even get me started on the Zoicite/Shadow "subplot". Seriously, what the hell is the love child of Amy Lee, Marilyn Manson and half the members of Linkin Park doing here? That is not Zoicite and will never be the 'real' Zoicite. And if Beryl is the biological mother of both, those must have been some difficult births, considering all Ultimate Lifeforms are technically birthed full-grown. (I'm not even going to touch on "Beryl's Lullaby". I nearly peed my pants laughing at the idea that Beryl would actually sing a lullaby to anyone, let alone sing anything with lyrics like that ever.) This and all the other plotholes made by this story aren't really plotholes anymore - they're black holes that suck out the energy of the nearest revolving planetary mass. "Cyber-Beryl", anyone?

And let me close this by saying no one - but no one - is allowed to be more emo than Shadow the Hedgehog, let alone the glorified Gary Stu clone of a blatantly gay man (and a very stupid Stu at that). Ever. Nor is Shadow allowed to procreate. EVER. Otherwise the universe will collapse on itself. That's the fourth law of thermodynamics. Seriously, it's true, look it up.

A special thanks to MillerLITE for finding this. The noose with which to hang yourself with as a result of this fanfic is in the mail. Thank you! *tying own noose*

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