Data 12: A Desperate Teleportation Daria approached Usagi. "Usagi, are you feeling OK now?," she asked. "I think so," replied Usagi. "Why?" Daria answered, "I need to get back to Lawndale right away. Things are getting out of hand there, and I'm the only one who can fix it up." "I do have a new power that I was given recently," replied Usagi; "it's the Moon Teleportation Power. That might get you there quickly." "Usagi," Luna warned, "you're still not completely recovered from your injuries. You need to get some rest." "Right now, Daria's family might be in danger, and we've got to help her," Usagi said. "Besides, we don't know if Ami survived the crash or not. We could at least see if she's all right." Luna by now realized that it was useless to argue with Usagi when she was determined to do it her way. "Very well," Luna said, "but don't overdo it. You lost a lot of energy when you were shot down." Gen. Torymura overhead what was said. "If you're going to go back, don't stay too long, since Yoriko could be back at any moment." "We won't be gone long. You have my word," Daria said. Usagi got up and grabbed her old Moon Scepter with the Silver Imperium Crystal in it. "Grab onto the handle of the scepter with me," Usagi said. "Once I say 'MOON TELEPORTATION ACTIVATION!,' we'll simultaneously be sent over to where you want to go. The Silver Imperium Crystal will read your thoughts and take you to your destination." "Wouldn't it be just easier to use the three sliders Scotty always used on the transporter on 'Star Trek'?," Daria replied. "Daria, please spare me your flippant attitude right now!," said Usagi in disgust. Usagi and Daria grabbed onto the Moon Scepter. It began to glow. Usagi got an image in her mind as to where Daria needed to go. "All right, here goes nothing!," Usagi said. "MOON TELEPORTATION ACTIVATION!" Almost at once, it seemed that Usagi and Daria vanished in a beam of light. "Good luck, Usako, Daria," Mamoru said to himself. "I think you will need it." ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- Almost instantaneously, Usagi and Daria arrived in Lawndale. "So this is Lawndale," Usagi said. "Yep, it's my little slice of Hell," Daria said. "Why is everything so quiet?," Usagi wanted to know. Suddenly, two Lawndale Militia soldiers saw them. "KILL THEM!," one of the soldiers screamed. The other soldier fired his AK-47 at them. "Not exactly the kind of welcome you usually get here," Daria stated, "but right now, my best advice to you is to run like Hell." They both did. The soldiers pursued them. Suddenly, someone jumped out of nowhere and threw a grenade at them, blowing them up to pieces. "Take that, bastards! See you in Hell!," the young lady screeched. She looked rather bizarre with her heavy eyeliner and was obviously drunk. "Who are you?," Usagi asked. "That's Andrea, our resident Goth girl. You know, she's into Marilyn Manson and all that," Daria replied. "Hey, Daria," asked Andrea, "when did you join the Navy? And who's the ponytailed wuss with you?" "I beg your pardon," Usagi said. "I didn't join they Navy, Andrea," Daria said. "It's supposed to be a Japanese schoolgirl's uniform, except that this is a superheroine's outfit. Andrea, this is Sailor Moon, and I'm supposed to be Sailor Mercury. I came over here to stop the Lawndale Militia from destroying our town." "Well," Andrea said, "Mr. DeMartino has organized a resistance unit and we're fighting back. Not only that, those two dolts Beavis and Butt-Head went after your sister." "They did?," asked Daria. "Luckily, Ms. Barch and Ami rescued her," replied Andrea. "When you said Ami," Sailor Moon said, "did you mean Mizuno Ami? She's a friend of mine. She's kind of short with short black hair in a bob cut." "Yeah," admitted Andrea, "that's what she looks like." "Where is she?," Sailor Moon asked her. "She's over at Daria's place," replied Andrea. "She went with her parents, Trent and Jane Lane, Jesse Moreno and Ms. Barch to protect Quinn in case Beavis and Butt-Head attack again." "We're there, dude," Daria said. "Huh?," Sailor Moon asked. "That's a phrase I picked up from those two," Daria added. They left right away for Daria's house. ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- Quinn was in the shower at her house. For the first time, she was real worried for her sister.She didn't know if she was all right. "If she makes out all right from all this, I promise I won't deny that she's my sister ever again," she was saying to herself. Unknown to her, though, was at that very moment, Beavis and Butt- Head were pulling right up to her house. They got out of the sheriff's cruiser that they had commandeered. They got out and kicked in the door. "WHERE'S QUINN?," Butt-Head roared. Ms. Barch heard what was going on, and took her rifle, firing at them. "Get out and stay out!," she yelled. However, Beavis leapt right back inside and sprayed her with Mace. She was sent yelping in agony. "Get out of our way, bitch," Beavis roared. Everyone else heard what was going on and raced to the door. Butt-Head was running up the stairs with Jake pursuing him. "Hey, you! Get out out my house right now!," Jake yelled. Butt-Head took the billy club that he had taken from the front seat of the sheriff's cruiser and hit Jake over the head with it. Jake fell backwards down the stairs. "JAKE!," Helen screamed. Butt-Head went to the bathroom and kicked in the door. Quinn saw what had happened and screamed "NO! GET AWAY FROM ME!" "WE'RE GONNA SCORE WITH YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU BITCH!," Butt-Head yelled as he dragged her by the hair downstairs. He flung her on the couch. Beavis maced Jake and Helen, sending them screaming in agony with Ms. Barch. Ami, Jane, Trent and Jesse all ran over to the living room. "Hold it right where you are!," Ami screamed. "After we're done porking Quinn, we're gonna pork you, Jane, and Ms. Barch," Beavis said. He then dropped his shorts. Quinn screamed, "SOMEONE HELP ME!" Beavis was about to drop his briefs when someone yelled, "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, BASTARDS!" Beavis and Butt-Head turned around and saw Sailor Moon, Daria and Andrea standing in the front doorway. Sailor Moon began her introductory speech: "I am the pretty soldier Eternal Sailor Moon, champion of love and justice! In place of the Moon, I will punish you!" Butt-Head stood there speechless for a second. Then he said, "WHOA! Beavis, look who's here!" Beavis saw who it was, then they began their chant of "DIARRHEA, CHA-CHA-CHA! DIARRHEA, CHA-CHA-CHA! DIARRHEA, CHA-CHA-CHA!" It went on for five minutes. "How dare you interrupt me when I'm giving my introductory speech!," Sailor Moon said. "Sailor Moon, those two are Beavis and Butt-Head," Daria said. "I know those two from when I used to live in Highland. They're two stupid, trouble-making jerks. They make the students at Lawndale High look good. I'll take care of this." Daria went up to them and said, "Beavis and Butt-Head, if you rape my sister, I swear to God I will not rest until I hunt you down, rip your heatrs out, cook them on a skillet and make you eat them." Beavis said, "Fuck you, Diarrhea!" and dropped his briefs."I've got a king-sized stiffie!" "With you, you need an electron microscope to see it!," Daria said, then grabbed Beavis by the scruff of his neck and flung him across the room. Butt-Head ran up to Sailor Moon, ripped her seirafuku blouse in half and had her in a chokehold. "You're going to let us go with Quinn or I'll kill Sailor Moon here!" Ami knew that her best friend was in danger. But what could she do? Beavis got up, grabbed Quinn violently from the couch and was taking her down the hallway. Jane grabbed a nearby fire poker and ran down the hall. She hit Beavis over the head with it. Quinn ran away, screaming. "RUN, QUINN!," Jane yelled. Quinn ran down the street, not caring that she was stark raving naked. "You'll pay for that, you bitch!," Beavis said, slapping Jane across the face. Helen was the first to recover from her macing. She got up and ran towards Beavis. "Get out of my house now!," she yelled. Beavis responded by slapping her across the face. For Daria, this was too much. She ran up to Beavis and kicked him and Butt-Head in the testicles. They were sent howling. Sailor Moon broke free. "SAILOR MOON KICK!," she yelled. She kicked them in the testicles as well. For good measure, Andrea kicked them in the testicles herself. Trent and Jesse sucker punched them from behind. Ami then grabbed a vase and broke it over Beavis' head. He turned around and hit her. Jake and Ms. Barch got up now. Ms. Barch knew she had to act quickly. Beavis got spastic and then went "AAAAAAAAAAAA! I AM THE GREAT CORNHULIO! YOU HAVE MADE ME ANGRY!" He and Butt-Head ran to the kitchen and grabbed knives, and ran, now completely deranged, right toward Daria. "DARIA! NO! THEY'LL KILL YOU!," Trent said. Beavis grabbed Daria by the collar of her seirafuku and was going to plunge the knife into her heart when Ms. Barch took her rifle and blew his brains out. The brains were splattered all over the place. "YOU KILLED BEAVIS, YOU BITCH!," Butt-Head yelled and ran to her. Ms. Barch blew out his brains as well. Both bodies twitched for a few seconds, then stopped. It was all over. Daria ran down the street and caught up with Quinn. She was balled up in a fetal position, crying. "Quinn, it's over now," said Daria; "Ms. Barch killed Beavis and Butt-Head. They won't harm you anymore." Daria took Quinn in her arms, and hugger her, letting Quinn cry on her shoulder. It didn't matter if she was splattered with brains on her outfit. "Daria, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad that you showed up," Quinn sobbed. "I'm very lucky to have a big sister like you. I'll never deny that we're sisters ever again, even if I get drubbed out of the Fashion Club!" Quinn broke down and cried. Daria patted her on the back. Daria smiled to herself. The others went up to her. "Daria, you're OK!," Trent said. "Trent, what's going on here?," asked Daria. Trent got closer to her and said: "It's terrible, Daria. The Lawndale Militia has taken over the town. They're trying the city government in a moot court. Then there was the plane crash, and we found Ami here. Then, of course, Beavis and Butt-Head tried to rape Quinn. It's all been so horrible. We're happy to have you back. And, Daria. . ." "Yes, Trent?," she aksed. Trent went up to her and said, "I love you. I always felt it, but until now I never had the courage to say it. After seeing you being willing to sacrifice your life to save your family, it has given me the courage to tell you how I feel."They then French kissed. "EW! They're kissing!," Quinn said. "AW, isn't that sweet?," Helen said. Jane just nodded her approval. She knew all along how those two felt for each other, and somehow she felt vindicated that she played a part as matchmaker in this affair. Jesse got a bit emotional. "It's all too beautiful, man!," he said. Sailor Moon went up to Ami and said, "Ami, thank Queen Serenity that you're all right!" "I've had a rough go of it, that's for sure!," Ami replied. "I've called the county sheriff's department, since the police are incapacitated right now," Ms. Barch said. "The coroner is going to take those two scumbags away. I hate all men! They're all cheaters and scumbags!" "I'm not a scumbag or a cheater!," Jake said. "Who asked you, you man!," Ms. Barch roared. "What's been happening in Tokyo?," Ami said. "It's not all good," Usagi said grimly. "The NIRAA has stolen an experimental jet fighter called the Neo-Zero and has all but bombed Tokyo to rubble. Rei's grandfather died when they bombed Sendai Hill Shrine. Things are getting desperate over there. What about here?" "Well," Ami said, "you heard it from Trent. A right-wing militia group has seized control here. It's a war zone here." "Daria," Jane asked, "how did you get mixed up in all this?," Daria answereed her: "Ami asked me to take her place as Sailor Mercury when she got accepted for her pre-med studies in Germany. Then the Neo-Zero affair broke out, and I got involved in it big time. It hasn't been a bowl of cherries, to say the least." Daria then went to Sailor Moon and Ami. "I guess introductions are in order now. Sailor Moon, Ami, I want you to meet my parents Jake and Helen Morgendorffer, my sister Quinn, my best friend Jane Lane, her brother and my boyfriend Trent, his friend Jesse Moreno, my science teacher Janet Barch, and Andrea, our local Goth girl. Everyone, this is Sailor Moon, and her friend Mizuno Ami." Everyone shook hands with each other. "We've got our work cut out for us here and back in Japan!," Sailor Moon said. "We've got to free Lawndale, then stop the NIRAA back in Japan!" Everyone vowed that they'd help each other resolve both crises. They then set out to return to the Free Lawndaler's base camp. ----------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------- The jury had reached a verdict in the trial. They filed in. Anthony asked the foreman if they had reached a verdict. "We have, Your Honor," the foreman said. "We find all the defendants guilty of all the charges against them." "Very well," Anthony said. "You are all hereby sentenced to be executed by firing squad at the middle of Town Park at noon. This court is adjourned!" The guards dragged the guilty parties away to be executed. Unless something happened soon, all would be lost.