Disclaimer. I no own, you no sue? Deal :: Ch 2- The first Chibi: Pirate-Setsuna! (dundun-you get the idea!) :: Sailor Mars checked her watch. "The new narrarator shoulde be here riiiiight abooooout...NOW!" Nothing happened. Mars blinked and checked her watch again. "Okaaaaaayyyyyy. Riiiiiiiiiiiighhhtttttt...NOW!" Still nothing. "Oh, what the crap?!" the fire maiden grumbled. -- Door opens-- Here I am! Sorry I'm late you guys! "Oh, that's okay!"Sailor Moon said smiling sweetly. Aw! You guys are so understanding! Now, if the script reads correctly, we left off where you meet the figure standing on the cherry tree-- "Who ISN'T George Washington, Abe Lincoln, Teddy Rosevelt, OR Thomas Jefferson." Sailor Mars said to Sailor Venus. The blonde-haired Senshi opened her mouth, but was cut off by Sailor Jupiter. "And it's not Micheal Jackson either." Venus pouted and closed her mouth. Anyway, the fugure on top of the cherry tree leaped from its resting place and floated to the ground. "Ye thought ye could escape me did ye?" the figure growled. The Senshi blinked. "Say whaaaaaaaaat?" "You scurvy dogs kept me waitin' for three weeks!" Wow. You guys must've ran really slowly. Sailor Mercury grimaced. "You mean we haven't BATHED in THREE WEEKS!?!?" Sailor Jupiter leaned to Sailor Venus, took a small whiff, then passed out. "So THAT'S what that stench was!" Sailor Mars breathed. "Honestly I just thought that Sailor Moon stepped in a big pile of dog crap." "HEY!" the moon hime cried out. "I may be a klutz, but I'm not stupid!" She lifted up her boot and looked at the bottom. "Well what do ya know," she said. "I DID step in a pile of dog crap." She giggled and knocked on her head. "I am such a DUH DUH DUHHHHH!" "Guys!" Sailor Mercury cried. "Makoto's passed out!" Sailor Venus ran to the fallen Senshi's side, whipped out a stick, and started poking her with it. "Excuse me?!" Mercuiry shrieked. "What on EARTH are you doing!?" Sailor Venus gazed at her blue-haired friend with a look that said, "What do you THINK I'm doing?" "What do you THINK I'm doing?" Venus asked. "I'm poking her with a stick!" "How does that help?!?!" Venus blinked. "You know," she murmured, "I'm not really sure. But I know one way!" The Senshi of Love raised the stick in the air...and slammed it down on Sailor Jupiter's head. "MINAKO!!" Sailor Mercury screamed as Sailor Venus smacked her friend with a stick. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!?" Venus paused to rest the slightly bloody stick on her shoulder. "Relax," the blonde said confidently. "I'm a certified doctor." "NO YOU'RE NOT!!!" "...Oh well." And she continued to wack the prone Senshi with the stick. Meanwhile... The old dusty town was empty, all of its residents hiding in their houses to escape from the gunfire that was sure to come. Two warriors, hard-hearted and cold, faced off. One, a girl, long raven hair hidden underneath her cow-boy hat. Stone-like lavender eyes gazed at her opponent. A tumble weed rolled by. "Oh Rei!" The Southern-belle Usagi cried, holding her clenched hands to her heart. "Oh sug' do be careful!" she pleaded in a horrible Western accent. Rei lifted the bridge of her cow-boy hat wuth her thumb. "Don't worry darlin'" she said in an equally horrible Western accent. " I'll be alright--" BANG!! Rei gasped in pain, clutching her chest. Her body made a dull thump as it hit the ground. Usagi screamed and ran to her love's side. "Oh Rei! Oh, you foolish fool!" Usagi sobbed, cradiling the dying warrior's head in her lap. Rei's breath was shaky, laboured. She wouldn't last much longer. "U-Usa--" she said hoarsly, "D-did I win?" Usagi sniffed and held back more sobs. "Yes sug'. "she answered, voice shaky. "You beat'em good." "Arrg," Figure-that-was-on-top-of-the-cherry-tree-but-is-now-on-the-ground said. "How be it that ye have Western accents whilst I be havon' this corny pirate accent?" "Shut-up!" Usagi yelled in her normal accent. "You're a pirate! You don't get another accent!" "Oh." the figure said. It grinned like a fool before it began to sing. "Fifteen barrels on a dead man's chest, Yo-ho-ho, And a bottle a' rum!" It yelped in pain as a glass bottle of beer hit its head. "I'm TRYING to have a romantic moment here!" Usagi yelled. "Stupid pirates," she grumbled as she turned to the dying Rei. "I always did like ninjas better." Rei, having heard her comment, weakly gasped out, "Except for J-Jhonny Depp! He makes such a sexy pirate!" Usagi nodded her agreement. "Too True." Rei coughed savagly, the violent jolts shaking her body. "L-love," she gasped out, "answer me, t-three questions." "Anythin'!" Usagi answered, Western accent back in place. "W-Wh-Where have a-all the cow-boys gone?" Rei asked. Usagi blinked. "You know," she said, Western accent completely abandoned. "I have no idea. Texas maybe?" "D-do you kn-know the Muffin Man?" Rei asked, her eyes dimming somewhat. Usagi blinked again. "Well no duh", she answered. "We all know the Muffin Man. We met him in chapter one remember?" "Oh yeah. My bad." Rei coughed again. "O-one more thing..." she reached up and gently cupped Usagi's cheek. "Could you get me a sandwhich? I'm hungry." Usagi blinked. "Say whaaaaaaaaat?" She watched, astonished as Rei stood up, dusted of her jeans, and strode away. "...WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?!??!?!?" Meanwhile meanwhile... "THIS IS INSANE!" Mercury cried as Sailor Venus nearly broke her stick with the amount of force she was using to wack Sailor Jupiter's head. Venus paused in her wacking. "You're right," she whispered. "This is insane. I shouldn't be wacking her with a stick." As Venus threw the stick away, Mercury sighed in relief. "I'm glad you-OH MY GOD!!" Sailor Venus had picked up a steel chair. "A chair works better anyways!" She then continued to wack the still prone senshi with the steel chair. Sailors Moon and Mars approached them cautiously, afraid to get close the Sailor Venus. "Guys," Mars began, even as the maniacl pirate person leaped toward them. "Bad guy's here." The pirate figure walked close enough for the Senshi to see ot. It turned out to be... "SETSUNA??!?!?!?!" They all screamed. Sailor Jupiter snapped awake, "What's wr-" She accidentaly slammed her tender head on the steel chair that laid in Sailor Venus' hands. "Night night..." she dhe passed out again. It was indeed Setsuna, but something was wrong. A red bandana covered the top of her green hair and an eyepatch covered her let eye. A white poofy shirt covered her torso, and brown trouser pants hugged her legs. Though something was a little bit off... "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyy!" Sailor Venus started, "SHE'S SO SMALL!!" Indeed, this pirate version of Setsuna...only came up to about the Senshi's waist. (DN DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!) Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile... Back at Setsuna's room, the stoic woman was almost finished ixing the Gates of Time. "There!" she panted as she slapped the last piece of gum onto the final piece of the Gates. "I'm done!" She reached up, and , ever so gently, stuck the piece with the other 599,999,999 pieces. "It took Me two chapters, 17 hours and ten million stick os gum, put I'm fininshed!" The Gates rumbled once, twice, thrice, fwice-- "OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!" Setsuna wailed as the Gates tumbled down. "It's not fair!" she sobbed as she held a piece. "IT'S NOT FAIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" :: TO BE CONTINUED:::