19. FINAL SHOWDOWN! and chapter Disc: I no own, you no sue!? Deal! A/N: The upcoming song that you will hear is Lady Chitose’s "Usalicious" because it kicks so much $$ and deserves to be cameoed. Go to her deviantArt site and read it. NOW!! And it pwns Kakashi. Because it’s that awesome. :: Ch-18 The Final Showdown! (And chapter!!!) ::: Once the Senshi made it back to the Bizarre Room, a portal opened in front of them. "We should go in pairs." Ami suggested, immediately latching onto Makoto’s arm. The Senshi nodded in agreement; safety in numbers. They paired up with their respective others and hopped in, two by two. When Minako and Setsuna were left, the green haired woman turned to her orange clad companion. "Well, shall we?" The Senshi of Time said with a small smile. Minako returned it and leaned up to place a small kiss on the now blushing woman’s cheek. "For luck!" Minako explained. Setsuna giggled quietly, and together, they jumped through the portal. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "And then I was like, no way, and he was like, yes way, and then I said, Oh really!? And he goes, ya really!" Mamoru hid his face in his hands and cursed the day he had agreed to sign onto the "Help a poor Convict re-form himself" program. After he had, life went from tolerable-angst to this-sucks-ass. It wasn’t his fault dammit! The court order had ordered him to become M.J.’s lacky. And, obviously, his BFF. Damn. "Uh-huh." He grunted as Micheal launched into a whole different story that was about him shouting out text-talk and such. Double damn. Suddenly, a portal ripped through and the Senshi tumbled out, dressed in their Senshi uniforms. "Like, Double-u Tee Eef!?" Micheal Jackson shrieked. Sailor Moon stood and dusted off her skirt, before striking a pose and proudly flashing the peace sign. "Nothing defeats the Sailor Senshi!" She laughed. "Except youma." Venus added. "Except youma..." "...Oh, and Deathbusters." Sailor Venus added again. "...And Deathbusters..." "Oh, can’t forget about evil, possessed versions of Senshi. And possessed Senshi altogether. And Galaxia-" "They get the point already!" Sailor Moon snarled. Sailor Venus eeped and hid behind Sailor Pluto for protection. "How dare you creeps, like, survive my evil dimension-portal...thingy!" Our evil villain declared. "I guess this calls for my badass villain theme -song!" "Like Sepiroth’s?" Mars asked. "Exactly!" "But none are as kickass as Sephy-sama’s." Sailor Mars huffed. At The Senshi’s confused glances, the no-longer-traumatized-miko blanched and sputtered, "Look, I’m gay but I’m not blind! I know a perfectly hot bishiounen when I see one!? "Anyway!" Micheal yelled, wanting to get the attention back on him. "Here it is! My theme song! Quake in fear bitchez!" As the girly-voiced man pressed play, a familiar sounding tune began to beat through the speakers. "Is that...Fergilicious?" "Listen up ya'll, 'cause this is it." Rei’s slurred voice spoke through the speakers. "The girl that I'm bangin' is de-li-cious!" A gunshot rang out in the midst of the music, as well as the resounding thump of a body. Usagi’s voice, equally slurred, came on next. "Usalicious definition make the Senshi’s nose bleed. They want pleasure so they get it from episode 200...." "I do not!" Sailor Mercury shouted, looking back and forth with frantic eyes as a blush exploded on her face. Neptune turned to Uranus. "No snappy comeback dear?" "Too easy." "You can see me, you can’t touch me. I ain’t cheesy, I ain’t queasy. I got reasons why I eat dessert and no not that you pervert!" After a few more minutes of Usagi, obviously drunk, rapping about all the girls in the world wanting to...er--...you know, Rei, drunk as well, finished the song with, "T to the A, to the S T E Y - hun, you're tasty. T to the A, to the S T E Y - hun, you're tasty T to the A, to the S T E Y - hun, you're tasty. T to the A, to the, to the...." When the song ended, the silence was deafening. The Senshi, mouths agape, stared stunned at their leader and her girlfriend. They were too afraid to ask them... "What the hell was that!?" Sailor Jupiter, the bravest stammered in disbelief. "I rather liked it." Chibi Moon smiled. Neptune turned to Uranus again. "What? No comeback?" "I don’t even wanna go there." "Dammit!" Sailor Mars cursed. "I knew it was a bad idea to let Chitose keep that copy!" "You see," Sailor Moon began to explain. "It was one night, about a year ago, and I got Rei drunk enough to go to a karaoke bar with me. So, we get in, I get wasted, and this nice looking kid come up. Says her name’s Chitose, and she’d pay us to sing." "So you sang." Pluto nodded. "Yep. Thing is, we were so totally wasted, we didn’t notice when Chitose re-wrote the lyrics for us. She still probably has that copy..." "What about the gunshot we heard?" "I think she saw someone trying to make a move on her Akane-chan..." "Ooooooh....." "Well!?" M.J. laughed. "Do you like it!? I even have the music video!" Sailor Moon and Mars turned and fixed him with a frightened look. " Huh?" "Oh, you didn’t know? It’s all over MySpace!" "She didn’t..." As Micheal pressed a button, a flatscreen TV came down with a metallic whine. It flicked on, and the music video for "Usalicious" played. Needless to say, it scarred the Senshi almost as much as the song itself did. "That’s it." Mars said as she turned to the exit. "I’m gonna kill her." "No Rei-chan!" The Senshi screamed as they launched themselves at our unlucky heroine. Mars made an odd choking sound as the combined weight of her peers dragged her to the ground. "Lemme go! I just wanna get in one good Fire Soul!" Mars whined. "Just one!" "We have to get rid of him first!" Mercury grunted. "Yeah! Don’t you wanna get revenge for almost getting molested by that creepy ninja chick!?" Sailor Jupiter added. Sailor Mars blinked, then leaped to her feet. "You!" she snarled, pointing at Micheal Jackson. "You’re goin down!" Micheal Jackson summoned his army of Chibis. "Bring it!" "Oh, it’s already been broughted!" Sailor Moon fired back. With that, the Senshi and the Chibis attacked with the force of one thousand suns! Or, something like that. It was incredible; many Chibis were gifted with inhuman powers like, lasers and that kinda futuristic crap. Anyway, the battle would have been serious and climactic... Had it not been for "Usalicious" continuously playing in the background. "Why won’t it end!?" Sailor Saturn screamed when the drunken Usagi began to go into detail about stealing someone’s girl, and Rei commenting on how she was...tasty. Poor Saturn had to go to therapy sometime later. "Take this!" Jupiter slammed her fist into a Rhino Setsuna’s stomach. The Chibi fell to the ground, dead. "Ha! And stay down bitch!" Seeing another squad coming, Sailor Jupiter back flipped over them, then rushed headfirst into the group again. She lashed out with lightning covered fists, making the poor non-electric-proof Chibis explode upon impact. Once they were all dead, Jupiter threw her head back and roared, "WHO ELSE WANTS SOME!" She launched into a bout of insane laughter as she catapulted into another pack of enemies. "She scares me." Chibi Moon whimpered as she clutched to her raven- haired GF. "Let’s hide somewhere." Sailor Saturn suggested, equally disturbed as her pink-haired compadre. "You think you have won have you!?" Micheal Jackson snarled. "Well think again! I have brought with me the evilest of the evil! Allow me to introduce my ULTIMATE EBIL FORCE OF DoOoOoOoOoOoM!!!" Suddenly, The door opened and out came.... THE DUB VERSIONS OF THE SAILOR SENSHI!!!! (DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN!!!!) "No!" Sailor Mars gasped. "It...It can’t be!!: "Oh, but it can bitch!" Dub Mars snarled out crabbily. "And it is!" "Deh horror!" Sailor Moon sobbed. Sailor Pluto rolled her eyes and aimed her staff at the group of American Sailor Scouts. "Dead Scream." She droned. As the purple ball of death neared the Sailor Scouts, Dub Jupiter summed up their last thoughts. "Oh fuck." Ka-DEATH!!! Micheal Jackson stared at the smoldering pile of ashes that had once been the Sailor Scouts. "Well this sucks." Pinky McTutu griped dryly. "H-how can this be!?" M.J. screamed as the last of his once fearful Chibi Army was eradicated. "Silly crossdressers!" The Senshi scolded as one with a big grin on their faces. "Bad guy endings are for angsty, serious stories!" "Not crackfics." Mamoru concluded with a surprisingly sagely nod of his head. "Wow he’s not that dumb after all." Uranus murmured to Pluto, who rolled her ruby eyes. "I heard that!" "I’ll get you for this!" Micheal Jackson whined as he hopped on his flying tricycle. "Mark my words Senshi! I shall have my reveeeenge!" As he flew into the sky, leaving behind the relieved, tutu-clad Mamoru, Sailor Pluto turned to Sailor Moon. "Care to do the honors?" "Glad to. MOON TIARA ACTION!" the spinning disk of light zoomed towards Micheal Jackson. "Damn schoolgirls with magic powers." The villain grumbled under his breath, completely unaware of deadly Frisbee coming at him. "That’s the last time I work in an anime crackfic!" Ka-BOOM!!! Micheal Jackson exploded into a big ball of light. The only thing that remained of him was his nose. ::: In the village of Kohona....::: Hinata gulped and tried to figure out how to tell her feelings to the blonde haired Kyubbi container in front of her. "W-w-well you s-s-see N-Naruto-kun." She stammered. "I...I....I l-lo-" Unfortunatly, the Byakugan heiress was interrupted as an object hit her head and bounced to the ground. "Eh? What the hell is that?" Naruto asked, peering closer at the flesh colored lump. "I-I Think it’s s-s-someone’s..." "Oh my-is that a-that’s just sick man!" "EEEWWWW!!! And it touched my head!" "Don’t worry Hinata-chan, I’ll protect you!" "Just get it away!" "Hey guys, what’s with all the-" "Sakura-chan, don’t get too close-: "IS THAT A NOSE!?" "CHA! WHAT KIND OF SICK FREAK CUTS OFF HIS NOSE! CHA!!" "EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWWWW!!!" "Sakura-koi, why are you shou-" "INO-KOI! SAVE ME!" "OH MY GOD!! I think it’s moving!" "EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWWWWWW!!!" "Hinata-sama, Hiashi-sama wants to see-" "NEJI-NII-SAN!! RUN! SAVE YOURSELF!!!" "IS THAT A NOSE!?" "How troublesome." And thus, the Naruto gang was sadly introduced with M.J.’s plastic nose. The pain. ::::: BACK WITH THE SENSHI::::: "We did it!" Sailor Venus cheered as she glomped Pluto. "Woot!" Sailor Moon began her victory dance. "Highfives all around!" As each of the happy Senshi gave their leader an enthusiastic highfive, Venus flashed a bright smile as she undid her transformation. "Setsuna-chan," Minako began, blushing. "I, um...have something to tell you....I..uh....I think I....love you." The blonde looked down, avoiding Pluto’s surprised gaze. "Minako-chan...." Setusna breathed as she, too, undid her transformation. "I....think I love you too." Minako gasped and looked up with hopeful blue eyes. "R-really?" "Really really." Minaok grinned so wide, it was a surprise that her face didn’t crack. Sombering, they stared at each other, and began to lean in for a romantic kiss.. "Hey!" Rei shouted. "Aren’t we supposed to be having a MUSICAL ENDING!?!?" Minako jumped out of Setsuna’s arms and produced a microphone (From where, I really don’t think we want to know.) An all too familiar beat escaped the speakers as our favorite blonde Senshi began to sing, "Stirred by impulses that there's nothing I can do! That has begun for me now, feelings searching for you! Just like predictable movies and books are boring, when life is a little bit off it might be more fun! This warm feeling is c’est la vie! As long as I am me! C’est la vie!-" "NO!" Rei screamed as she snatched the microphone away from Minako. "Do you have ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES THAT SONG HAS BEEN SPOOFED!? TOO MANY I TELL YOU!!" Minako snatched the mic back. "Then I guess you’ll like THIS!!" "Oops, I , did it again! I played with your heart! Got lost in the game! Oh baby baby-" BANG! The music came to a screeching halt as all the Senshi turned scared gazes to a furious Hotaru holding up a gun that was still pointed up, smoking. "If any of you," the lamp collector began in a deadly hiss. "ever sing one of her songs again, I will eat your souls." "And she can do it too." Chibi-usa griped, rubbing a hand over her heart as she remembered the feeling of Hotaru eating her soul. It wasn’t pleasant. "Okay, okay," Haruka began in a hushed voice. "We get it. You can put the gun away now Firefly." Hotaru smiled happily and the gun transformed back into Luna-P. "I have a suggestion." Michiru murmured. "Why not the song that kicks so much ass?" "The Internet is really really great!" Michiru chirped. "For Porn!" Haruka finished. "NO!!" The Senshi screamed at the helpless duo. "That song may kick ass, but it doesn’t pwn Kakashi-sama like one song I know of." Usagi said with a smirk. Yet another familiar song drifted from the speakers, and made all of the Inners crack a grin. "Finally I have made it here, I grasp onto love! The woman who rests in a light sleep, on your closed eyes I kissed you goodbye. In the garden of time, I left you behind-" "No." The Outers said. "What?" Makoto whined. "Why not?" "Because it doesn’t give all of us a chance." "I have one!" Rei declared. "I don’t know what’s worth fighting for, or why I have to scream! I don’t know why I instigate, and say what I don’t mean! I don’t know how I got this way, I know it’s not alright, so I’m breaking the habit! I’m breaking the habit-" "Boooooring." Ami droned. "No one wants to hear you sing about how emo you get sometimes Rei-chan." Makoto yawned. "Assholes!" came the hurt reply. "How about," "I like big butts-" "NO!!" "There are children here Haruka!" "I’ve, become so numb-" "NO EMO SONGS REI!!" "I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie wooooorld!-" "Usagi don’t you EVER SING THAT IN MY PRESCENCE!!" "Livin la vida loca!" "Minako-" "Cause in the end, it doesn’t even matter-" "Rei, for the last Goddamned time, STOP WITH THE EMONESS!!!" "Bite me!" "I just wanna fu-" "CHIBI-USA!!" "WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT!?" "Where do ya think!?" "Nobody’s listening-" "THAT’S IT REI! I’LL BEAT THE EMO OUT OF YOU IF I HAVE TO!!" "Bad enough she keeps singing Linkin Park songs." "Linkin Park’s cool! Shut-up!" "It’s Moon Revenge! Woooooo-" "Did we NOT just go through this Usagi!?" "My hump, my hump my hump my hump-" "AAGGH!!" "MINAKO!!" "Sowwy." "Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me-" "Haruka, you’re sleeping on the couch." "Michiiiiii! "Usalicious-" "USAGI!!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" Setsuna roared. All was quiet. The Senshi stared, flabbergasted at Setsuna’s outburst. "Because of your immaturity," Setsuna snarled. "None of you shall sing the ending song." "Awwwwww." "No fair!" "Instead, I will." "WHAT!?' "Why Setsuna!?" "Because the title has my FUCKING NAME ON IT!!!" Silence. "Oh yeah." "That makes sense, actually." Setsuna grabbed the mic and cleared her throat. "Where have all, the good girls gone and where are all the goddesses? Where’s the streetwise Hercules, to fight the rising odds? Isn’t there a white knight, upon a fiery steed?" Usagi leaped onto a stunned Rei’s back. "Well, here’s my fiery steed! Does that make me a white knight?" Rei looked over her shoulder and glared at her girlfriend. "You. Couch. Week." "Dammit." "Late at night, I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need..." The soft, sad piano music changed into upbeat techno. "I need a hero! I’m looking out for a hero till the end of the night! She’s gotta be strong and she’s gotta be fast and she’s gotta be fresh from the fight-" Suddenly, the wall of the warehouse exploded, revealing the huge crowd of characters. "Did ya think the story would end without re-visiting all the cameoed characters?" Asked a grinning and slightly bruised Kagome as Sango and Ayame snuggled into her chest. "OH YEAH!!" declared Koolaid guy as he flashed the thumbs up. "Coco!" Coco chirped as she glomped Rei. Edwardo rushed over and swung Rei up in his arms as well. "I so happy to see you!" The purple beast sobbed. Wilt came over and hugged Rei, once Edwardo had finished. Mac and Bloo were still unconscious. Frankie also gave the raven-haired miko a hug. "Hi Setsuna!" Sora greeted with a grin. Donald Duck spotted Minako and, once again, roared something foul and vulgar as he prepared to leap towards the surprised blonde. Setsuna, however, opened a portal right in front of the enraged duck. Goofy whistled innocently and shoved him in. "Rei Hino! Usagi Tsukino!" Greeted the forty-looking Harry Potter as he opened his arms, expecting a hug. He didn’t get one. Hermione, on the other hand, was glomped by the ecstatic duo. The perfectly straight young woman struggled, then flashed a helpless look at the very handsome and muscular Ron. He rolled his eyes and peeled them off his friend. Jack and Rose, soaking wet, approached a laughing Makoto. Makoto took one look at the enraged pair and said the wrong thing. "Whoa, you guys survived?" Jack lifted his fist and punched Makoto in her jaw. As the brunette was sent spiraling to the ground, Rose kicked Ami in the shin. Ami yelped and began to hop on one foot. "Jerks!" they shouted as they exited the warehouse. Minako gasped. "Hey, it’s Samuel-motherfuckin-Jackson!" Samuel-motherfuckin- jackson took a look around at all the girls playing snugglebunny with another girl. "I’ve had it, with these motherfuckin lesbians in this motherfuckin warehouse!" Minako stormed over to the yelling man and kick him where-the-sun-don’t-shine. As he screamed in agony, Minako growled, "That’s for calling me a bitch!" "Haruka Tenoh!" Optimus Prime boomed as he lifted the warehouse roof off. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked, terrified, at the giant robot. He reached down to Haruka and returned a small leather wallet. "You dropped this." "Er......thanks-Hey! Where’s my money!?" the racer growled as she looked at the empty wallet that had once been full. Optimus gulped and ran away, screaming "CHEESE IT!!" Setsuna sighed as she looked at the microphone. So she didn’t get to sing a song. She sighed again in disappointment. "Hey," Minako whispered, hugging her girlfriend. "What’s wrong?" "I wanted to end this story with a bang!" The Time Guardian whined. Minako smiled and leaned down, pressing her lips against Setsuna’s in a sweet, loving kiss. "Okay," Setsuna giggled drunkenly, hyped up on love. "Never mind. I like this ending a lot better. Then, all the characters turned to the computer screen and screamed out, with their fists thrust in the air, "THE END!!!" ::::: THE END::::: A/N: ah...It’s finally done. Better watch out Chitose-chan; Mars is out for your blood. Lol. As such, I own none of the songs or characters mention in this story. Okay, That’s it.....it’s done.... You can go away now.... I said it’s over! WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE!? AAAAAH!! STALKERS!!!