Disclaimer. I no own, you no sue? Deal! A/N: Yes People, it's the chapter you've been dreading; The Alice in Wonderland Spoof!...What?...Were you expecting the Wizard of Oz? PUH-leeeze. Someone much more talented than I spoofed that and I would forever taint their work if I dared so much as think that. So no. It's Alice in Wonderland. Sorry for the let-down, I'm evil like that. Nyah. ::: Ch 17- Setsuna in Crackland:::: Setsuna cheered her companions as they began to eradicate the Chibi's, minus one Fire Senshi, but, well, who could blame the poor girl after what she had been through. "Ah! They're, like, destroying my army!" Micheal Jackson whined. Pinky Mc--oh forget it--Mamoru sighed loudly. "If they're being such a bother, why not just send them to another dimension." He pointed at Setsuna. "Her too." Micheal Jackson gasped, squealed, and clapped his hands. "That's a great idea!" Mamoru smiled because no one had ever praised his ideas before. "I'm so glad I thought of it!" His smile fell. "Jerk." He grumbled. "Galagodoola! Michigaboola!" Micheal Jackson sang in a horrendous shrill cry, bringing out a magic wand from nowhere and finished with, "Bibbidy, Bobbitdy BOO!!!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" Screamed the Senshi as the portal that had appeared at M.J.'s command began to pull them in. Setsuna shrieked also as she was pulled from her bonds and into the portal. "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------- Setsuna groaned and noticed that she was propped against a strong tree, dressed in a Victorian style dress, and had a book on her lap. "I'm late! I'm late! For my very important date! Oh, but what else is new!?" whined a familiar voice. "Usagi-chan!?" gasped Setsuna. Usagi bursted from the bushes, dressed in a French Maid's outfit. Her human ears had been replaced by two flufy bunny ears that were the color of her hair and a pocket watch hung from her belt. As she ran past, Setsuna noticed the cottony white tail that poofed from the back of her outfit. "Usagi-chan!" Setsuna called. "No time to say hello! Good-bye I'm late I'm late I'm late! Oh, Queen-ko's gonna kill me!" Usagi whimpered as she leaped across another group of bushes. Setsuna followed her bunny-eared princess and nearly screamed as Usagi jumped through a hole. Worried, she followed her princess. Then, that's when she noticed her tiiiiiny miscalculation. "OH SHIT!! I FORGOT THE ROOOOOOOOPEEEEE!!!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------- Setsuna groaned and awoke, cursing silently at the familiarality of her strange situation. "Usagi-chan?" she cried. "I'm late! I'm--is that all I'm going to say!? Jeez, I could use a bit of originality here!!" came Usagi's dim cry. "I have to catch up with her!" Setsuna vowed, getting up and once again giving chase. Soon, she found herself in a room that was...wel l...bizzare. Several pieces of furnature that were supposed to be on the ground were on the ceiling, a teddy bear was floating around in the air, and a spiky haired bruntette weilding a giant key-shaped weapon, a duck with a magic wand, and a doglike humanoid with a sheild getting trounced by an even odder creature that juggled burning sticks and sported an emblem that looked like a black heart with thorns surrounding it. "Wack! Sowa!" The duck cried in a hard to understand lisp as the spiky haired brunette was thrown back by the creature's fire. "Ahyuck! Donald, look out!" screamed the humanoid dog-man as he threw his shield and used it like a deadly frisbie. It hit the creature's face, knocking it back. "Thanks Goofy!" the duck gasped. Setsuna blinked as she noticed that all four of them were...tiny. The boy and his animal companions were about the size of her thumb, while the creature was probably about the size of her palm. Deciding to give the boy a hand, Setsuna reached down and plucked the juggling creature by its head and feet, the squishing it between her palms. She pulled them back and watched with amusment as the creature became a living acordian, before exploding into a black cloud and releasing a red object that floated out into the sky. She brushed off her hands with satisfaction, and turned her attention to the shocked trio. "Whoa..." gasped the boy, Sora, in awe. "Wack!? Who da heck awe you!?" raged Donald. "Ahyuck, thanks a bunch giant green haired lady!" Goofy cheered. "You're quite welcome." Setsuna smiled. "Now, did any of you see a girl with bunny ears and buns run by here by any chance?" "Oh sure!" Sora grinned. "But, uh, can you help us up to the table please Miss?" Setsuna chuckled and held out her palm, wating until Sora, Donald, and Goofy had climed aboard before lifting them up to the table. The brunette, with a bit of diffuculty, lifted a blue bottle and allowed his companions and himself to take a drink. In the blink of an eye, they had reverted back to their normal sizes. "I dold you not to lissen to dat creepy blonde catgiwl ting!!" Donald screamed. Sora blinked at Goofy, who translated it into, "I told you not to listen to that blonde catgirl thing!" Sora scoffed and cleaned out his left ear with his pinky. "You say you're looking for the bunny chick?" Setsuna nodded and asked, "And, can you tell me more about the blonde catgirl?" Sora grinned and rested his hands behind his head. "Sure! After the way you took out that Heartless and saved our butts, I'll help you out anyway I can." He cleared his throat and said, "The bunny girl ran through that door." He said, motioning to the small doorway with his head. "As for the catgirl--" "She's been dothing but twoble!" fumed Donald. "Fiwst, she makes us find dese sdupid boxes of cwap, den she ditches us again and dells us to light da fiwe, which weleased da Heawtless!! Wack!! If I evew get by hans on dat no good wed bow wearin--" "Er--I think what Donald's saying," Goofy translated, " Is, 'She's been nothing but trouble! First, she makes us find these stupid boxes of crap, then she ditches us aagain and tells us to light the fire, which released the Heartless! If I ever get my hands on that red bow wearin--'" "Wait!" Setsuna gasped. "My friend Minako wears a red bow! I wonder..." "You're looking for your friends too?" Sora asked. At Setsuna's nod, he raised an eyebrow and asked with more suspicion, "Did any of them open a door to darkness that destroyed your world, seperated you from each other, and is constantly being a jacka--" "No, no." Setsuna answered quickly. "Well." Sora sighed. "I guess you're the lucky one then.Tell ya what; you help me out with this one question, and I'll help you look for your friends. Just as long as they're on this world." "Sowa!! We don't have time to be goofing off!!" Donald screamed. Sora casually flicked his bill to send him sprawling. Setsuna nodded and offered her hand. "My name's Setsuna." "I'm Sora." Sora grinned, gripping Setsuna's hand in a friendly handshake. "That's Goofy." The dog-man chuckled and kissed the back of her hand in a gentlemanly kiss. "Pleasure ta meet ya Miss Setsuna." "And Mr. McGrumpy- Puss over there is Donald." "Waaah! Sowa! I dold you not to call be dat!!" Which roughly translated to, 'Waaah! Sora! I told you not to call me that!' "So, what's your question Sora?" "Have you seen a bishonen with silver hair and a girl with red hair around?" "No Sora." Setsuna admitted sadly. "But I'm completely new to this place, so I couldn't tell you." Sora sighed. "I've checked everywhere on this world. Man." He brigthened up as he remembered his part of the deal. "Okay then! Let's find your friends Setsuna! Are they on this world?" Setsuna had no idea what Sora meant by, 'this world', but she knew, without a doubt, that if Usagi and Minako were here, Ami, Rei, and Makoto were here. Ami to make sure Minako didn't break anything, and Rei and Makoto to watch over their respective others. Where Haruka, Michiru, and Hotaru were, however, was a different matter. "Yes, I'm sure most of them are here." Setsuna answered with a small smile. Sora grinned back. "Well, lets get going! C'mon guys!" Sora shouted. He grabbed a red bottle and passed it around to each of them, instructing them to drink. In a few moments, Setsuna found herself shrinking. "Well," she whispered. "That's one hell of an acid trip." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Faster slaves, or it will be off with your heads!! Hahaha! I've always wanted to say that!" cackled a familiar voice. Setsuna gasped. "Rei-chan!?" Sora shook his head. "If what I heard is true, then that's the Queen of Hearts; evil bitch lemme tell you." "Yup." Added Goofy. "She's one bad egg alright." "She twied to kill us!!" hissed Donald. Setsuna peeked through the hedges and got the shock of her life. Rei, dressed in a tight, red leather outfit that reminded her of that chick from Kill Bill, sat upon a wooden throne, twirling a scepter about the size of a ruler that had a red heart at the tip in her hand. A cute, miniature crown sat, albeit crooked, on her head, a ruby heart in the center. The raven-haired girl in question was laughing diabolically as a fat woman with a messy bun and a shaking rabbit were scrubbing at the grass with a brush. "Waita minute!" Sora whispered. "That's not the Queen of Hearts!" He pointed to the fat woman who was sobbing. "That is!" "And that's my friend Rei!" Setsuna finished as she pointed at the leather clad girl. "But wait," Sora scratched his head. "I thought you told me that Rei was traumatized beyond repair..." Due to the fact that Sora was helping her, Setsuna had told him about the adventures the Senshi and herself had went through, minus the part about them being Sailor Senshi of course. "I don't know--wait, what's she doing?" Rei smiled and scrathed Usagi behind one floppy bunny ear. "Man, is it good to be Queen." the viloet eyed girl sighed in pleasure. Usagi purred and tilted her head a bit to the left. She looked at the grey sky, then to her--threated-- subjects, and her gaze rested on the duo scrubbing the grass. The fat one had tried to hurt her Usagi-chan! That would simply not do! Suddenly, a strange gleam filled her eyes and she yanked Usagi up and to her chest, holding her there in a possesive grasp. No one would ever hurt her Usako again! "That is why, I shall spread my empire!" Rei growled to no one in particular. "I shall make everyone my servants, that way, they shall never try to hurt Usagi again! I shall rule with an iron fist!" She slammed her clenched fist on the wood o f the throne for emphasis. "What are you talking about Rei-chan?" Usagi murmured, loving it as Rei scratched that one place she herself could never reach on the back of her ear. "My dear Usako, I speak of," She stood up and posed, cueing the group of red heart cards to activate the fan, making a dramitic wind blow while the black spades created fake thunder and lightning. "WORLD DOMINATION!!!" Setsuna face-palmed. "Oh dear Lord." she groaned. Sora raised an eyebrow. "Setsuna? Um, are all your friends this...unique?" "No no, just Rei. Wait, scratch that. Yes, all of them are...except Mako-chan and Hotaru-chan." Usagi blinked in confusion. "But Rei-ko, that would be mean!" Rei hugged the bunny-girl closer. "I know Usako, but this is the only way I can protect you...plus, wouldn't it be great if me, you and the other girls were living in luxury? I wouldn't forget my friends! Why, I'll even see if I can hire someone to watch over the Gates of Time for Setsuna-san!" Setsuna teared up at her friend's generousity. "Awww." "And there shall be uniforms!" Rei continued, smirking evily. "All the men shall wear long sleeved shirts and pants, while the women shall wear...TINY MINISKIRTS!!!!" A spotlight shone on the now phsycopathic Fire Senshi and a few cards chimed in a chorus that sounded like angel's singing. Usagi squealed and hugged her girlfriend. "I shall follow you to the end my love!!" Sora blushed. "You...uh...never told me that they...er..." Setsuna chuckled. "Swung that way?" "I don't mind, it's just," Sora pointedly looked away from the embracing heros- gone-bad. "Give me a bit of warning next time." "Okay. Then all my friends, except Minako I think, swing that way." There was a dull thump as Sora hit the ground in a dead faint, a small trail of blood trickiling from his nose. Rei knew that only one thing would complete her now evil persona. She needed something..."Aha!" she cried in turumph. With a flick of her wrist, she hand placed her pinky near the corner of her mouth. Now it was complete! "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!" she laughed. "Twidle-Dee! Twidle-Dum!" At her call, Hotaru and, to Setsuna's shock, Chibi-usa stepped from the forest entrance. "Thankyou for signing back on!" Hotaru, or Twidle-Dee, smiled warmly to her grumbling pink-haired compadre. "I'm only doing this for you." Chibi-usa, or Twidle-Dum, pouted. "Perfect!" Rei grinned as she snatched up Hotaru. "I shall call you...Mini-Me!!" Hotaru blinked her violet eyes and blew a raven strand of hair from her face. Where on Earth did Rei get the idea that they looked alike? "Hey!" Twidle-Dum souttered in anger. "Give her back!!" Rei hugged a startled Hotaru to chest and cried out, "NEVAH!!! She is my Mini-Me!!" "Well, we know where Rei, Usagi, Chibi-usa, and Hotaru are." Setsuna whispered to Donald and Goofy, who had an unconcious Sora on his back. She looked back to see Chibi-usa and Rei in a heated argument over who got Hotaru, and Usagi sat there with a glum expression on her face because her ears were no longer being scratched. "Doubtful that they'll be moving anytime soon. Let's go find the others." With that, Setsuna led the gang into the forest. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "So, we've checked every nook and cranny of this forest, and we still can't find anything!" Sora moaned in dissapointment. "SETSUNA-CHAAN!!!" squealed a disembodied voice from the trees. Setsuna looked around, then found herself the recipient of a glomp attack, sending her spiraling down to the floor as a familiar blonde dressed in orange happily clung to her neck. "Setsuna-chan!" Minako purred, rubbing her head underneath Setsuna's chin, her cat ears twiching and her fluffy tail curling in delight. "I'm so glad you're okay!" Setsuna blushed, but wrapped her arms around her friend's waist. The now kittified girl blinked and looked up to a very flustered Sora, Donald, and Goofy. "Hey, aren't you the dumbasses I played a trick on a few hours ago?" Donald roared something foul and vulgar and would have obliterated poor Minako if not for Sora and Goofy holding him back. Setsuna turned to her blonde friend. "Do you know where the rest of our little team are?" "I don't know where Ami, Makoto, and Haruka are, but not Michiru." Minako answered. She had guessed Setsuna had snuck throgh the royal courtyard and seen Rei and Usagi, and since Chibi-usa and Hotaru lived near it, couldn't be that far. "Great. Sora," The brunette lifted his head. "I can take care of it from here. Go find your friends now. Thanks for all your help." Setsuna said with a small smile. Sora grinned and said, "You're welcome Setsuna! I hope I get to see your world next time!" With that, he hauled the still raging Donald onto his back and walked away. Goofy saluted the duo. "Happy trails!" He turned and ran to catch up with Sora and Donald. Setsuna stood and helped her orange-clad compadre to her feet and they began to walk to where Minako knew where Ami, Makoto, and Haruka were, not noticing that their hands were still joined. "Minako-chan?" "Huh?" "Why are you dressed like Naruto?" "Spur of the moment thing." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Welcome to a very happy Un-birthday!" Makoto said with a huge and somewhat maniacal grin on her face as she fixed her giant hat. "Care for a cup of tea? Ami-chan! Quickly, we have guests!!" "We do?" Squeaked Haruka as she poked her head out of a small teapot, her mouse ears twitching. "Yes! It's none other than our dear friends Minako and Setsuna!" "Wonderful!" squealed Ami and she took three kettels from the stove and began to simultaniously poor them into cups. Setsuna and Minako shared a glance. "Er, Haruka-chan? Where's Michiru?" "I'm right here!" Then, Michiru fluttered down on a pair of beautiful shimmering butterfly wings, smelling faintly of exotic smokes. "Can we go get the rest of our group?" Setsuna said as she checked her watch. "We're kinda short on time here." "Alright then!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FLY MY PRETTIES!!! FLY!!!" Cackled Rei as she put her pinky up near her mouth again. "Rei-ko!" hissed Usagi. "We're not doing the Wizard of Oz remember!" "Oh yeah. My bad." Rei cleared her throat and cackled, "MARCH MY CARD WARRIORS!!!" "You mean you're a Yu-Gi-Oh player too Rei-chan!?" Hotaru gasped. "What? No! I mean--oh forget it. It's not worth it anymore. I've lost the mood." Just then, Setsuna and the gang busted through the forest. "Rei-chan, it's time to go!" Setsuna announced, feeling very cool as she posed. "Okay." Rei shrugged. "And I don't care if you fight back--say wha?" "I'm ready to leave." She grabbed her crown and chucked it at the former Queen of Hearts' head. She sauntered to the entrance to the Bizarre Room. When no one but Usagi followed her, she looked back a tossed over her shoulder, "Well, are you guys comin or what!? I ain't got all day!" The gang shared looks of confusion. "I thought she wanted to rule the world with an iron fist?" Hotaru asked. "I guess she changed her mind." A pause. "Works for me." :::::::: TBC ::::::::::::::::