The Iliad

The Iliad is the prequel to The Odyssey, taking place at the end of the Trojan War. It opens after nine years of the war, in an argument between two head honchos in the Greek army, Agamemnon and Achilles.

When dividing captives, etc. after taking over a city, Agamemnon takes a girl named Chryseis into his posession. She happens to be the daughter of Chryses, one of Appolo's priests. Chryses isn't happy with this turn of events, so niether is Apollo. Achilles sides with Apollo and demands Chryseis back. Agamemnon refuses, though he does offer to trade Chryseis for Briseis, a girl taken by Achilles amidst the dividing. Achilles agrees to the trade but decides that, because he has to compromise, he will no longer take part in the war. So there.

As Achilles has established a rather good reputation as an unbeatable killing machine, his leaving is not a good thing for the Greeks. Everything goes pretty much downhill from there. This is mostly due to Achilles's mother pulling some strings for him, to let the Trojans win, to get back at Agamemnon. A bit like cutting off the nose to spite the face, but what do I know?

Meanwhile, a Trojan named Hector is rising in power on the battlefield. Many smaller skirmishes occur, all of which include detailed accounts of spears penetrating multiple armor and body parts. These all add up to the point where Achilles is still officially "not in the war," and so sends his best friend, Patroclus, to do his dirty work.

This eventually ends up with Patroclus "begging" to go into battle dressed as Achilles (he's still "not in the war," remember?) because the mere sight of Achilles's armor will apparently send the Trojan army to making a fast retreat with their tails between their legs. Achilles agrees to this very probable scenario, and so Patroclus sets off.

Amazingly, the Greeks are right to assume the Trojans are so gullible. However, Hector uses his acute deduction abilities, figures out who "Achilles" really is, and promptly puts a spear through his gut. The real Achilles is absolutely shocked that anyone would dare venture near enough to his armor to murder the wearer, and flies into a rage, vowing to kill Hector for what he's done.

Again, mother dearest pulls some strings, and Achilles is outfitted in a batman-esque form-fitting (they make sure to mention this) practically indestructable suit of armor, and thus sets off to carry out his plan ot finish off Hector. They play a few games of ring-around-the-city before Achilles catches up to Hector and, though both chuck their spears and multiple rocks at each other, Achilles is of course the only one who hits his mark.

Hector dies begging for his body to be left alone for his parents, siblings, and wife. Achilles ignores Hector's last pleas and drags the body around town from the back of his chariot.

The murder of Patroclus avenged, his funeral is held, followed by games and displays of strength, which immediately proceed to the burial of their much-mourned friend.

Later, Hermes diguises himself as a human and moves Achilles to tears with a speech asking to give Hector's family the benefit of a proper funeral and burial. Achilles agrees, and all is right with the world. Then they all live happily ever after, the end.