yoshi's homepage
anthony's homepage
home
31st dec 2000. .........................................................................................................................................hmm well this is the first ever entry in here so i'm not sure what to tell and what to keep private so i guess i'll jus see how much room i use and tell nearly everything jus now... ok firstly my love life is so hard to wrap my head around now - i was with this totally great guy(tarry "yoshi" norager) and then for some unknown reason i went and fucked it all up and he moved on while i was left here to feel very sorry for myself..i still love him with all my heart and i'd do anything to get him back but i know that he doesn't want me so there's not really much i can do about that, i guess the only natural thing to do is for me to move on..i know that he and i were only together for like 6 weeks but it jus all felt so right and i trust him with more than my life..i've never felt so close to anyone before.. so now there's anthony..he's been a total sweetie since we first met online and i've become very close to him too..i love him so much but i'm not so sure i love him as much as i love tarry (yes i still love him..nothing i can do to stop that..i don't care if he doesn't love me cos i'll always feel like this and i know he'll always hold my heart) i know it sounds terrible..i don't think it's all coming out how i mean it to sound..i jus can't really find all the words i want to use and how to sort them.......ok so where was i? oh yeah..well like i say i'd kill to get my love back but i'm really also in love with my anthony baby and i don't know what to do...if he knew i still felt like this i'm sure he'd never talk to me again..and i know that tarry doesn't feel the same way about me ..we hardly even talk anymore and i miss the conversations we used to have..he could always make me laugh..damn i sound obssessed don't i?!?!?! oh well..maybe i should shut up and go to bed considering it's after 4am and i haven't slept a wink yet..ok well i'll add some more in tomorrow if i get a chance - it's new year's eve already!! i have to go back to work on the 3rd and i don't wanna! :o( but the money's cool cos i jus got a kind of promotion lol tell you bout that another time when i can keep my eyes open without the toothpicks .... .... ok i love you bu-biiii :o). ..................................................it's still new year's eve (the last entry was written at about 2am so and now it's 3pm - yeah yeah i slept late lol but that's what you get when you go to bad at 5am!!!! ok so i've kinda skimmed over what i wrote this morning and i have no idea what was going on in my head..i mean everything i said but i think i was a lil too tired and merry to get it all to sound like how it is in my head... ok ummm well my best friend jus got back from his road trip to tennessee so i'm totally stoked he's back..i really missed ya stan!! :o(...it'd been about a week since we last talked..in fact i'm talking to him on icq at this second - i don't think his trip went to well cos he doesn't wanna talk about it so ima not bug him.....hmm what else..oh yeah i'm going out tonight - got a few parties that i promised i'd make an appearance at so ima have a hella lotta fun!! and prolly end up crawling over my front doorstep at all hours only to find more people there! i'm looking forward to it!!!! well i reckon that this should be enuff to tide you's over you voyeristic pagans you...LOL!!! talk later..oh yeah if you see me on yahoo then IM me and we'll chat (warm_and_luscious)..jus let me know how you found me if i'm not in chat somewhere lol...bu-biiiiiiii :o)