-Computer Programming



-About Me


     These are all opinions or stories that I wrote. This includes most of what I consider my best work, some of what I consider my decent work, and none of my worst. Keep in mind these aren't necessarily the real titles, just something I made up to refer to them by.
     These are now all .rtf (rich text format), now that I thought to make them that way- less download time for same results.


  • 99-00 1: Millennium This wasn't a great way to start my Edsman career. Decent, but no better. Now, I don't care when people have their parties as long as I get to say to my class (hopefully as valedictorian) that we are the first graduating class of the new millennium. Plus I always liked 2001: A Space Odyssey.
  • 99-00 2: School Song I had a good point that the Alma Mater kills rallies and spirit, but I should have suggested coming up with a new song, or something else- upon further reflection, the words in the front of the student handbook are terrible, and would probably be worse than even the Alma Mater.
  • 99-00 3: Mars Orbiter This was okay.
  • 99-00 4: Getting Smarter This was good. The last paragraph wasn't great, but the rest was good.
  • 99-00 5: Going Down the Drain This was pretty good. Of course, it did nothing.
  • 99-00 6: Cafeteria Ripoff This one was pretty good. I think my facts may have been off (because I never bought food from them anymore), but they weren't far off. Prices were still higher in the cafeteria the year after I wrote this.
  • 99-00 7: Inspiration This was great, and funny too. There's a Calvin and Hobbes where Calvin says that the proper mood for inspiration is last-minute panic; that's what this is all about.
  • 99-00 8: Dress Code This one was fine.
  • 00-01 1: College Process I am so fed up with college mail... (unpublished)
  • 00-01 2: Oil Release A piece I wrote about the inane release of oil from the U.S. strategic oil reserve (unpublished).
  • 00-01 3: Christmas This is a piece I wrote about the increasing commercialization of Christmas. I thought it was pretty good at the time, but haven't read it since.
  • 00-01 4: Farewell My farewell article.


  • On the Decline and Fall of Saturday Morning Cartoons (a.k.a. Kill the Power Rangers) A humorous (but only slightly truth-stretching) article I wrote for English class.
  • Bureaucracy I guess the American majority had done or was believing something particularly stupid when I wrote this. Sometimes I get cynical when that happens.
  • Under Pressure Another essay for English, on peer pressure.
  • Error 404: URL Not Found No, that's not a real error message, just a poem about frustration caused by the Internet.
  • A Christmas Caroldy The meaning of the title's pretty obvious... I thought it was pretty funny.
  • Email Mixup This one wasn't so good. The events were funny, but I may not have gotten it across.
  • Cogito, Ergo Sum? One of my attempts at a short story. I thought it was all right. Kind of deep though, be ready.
  • Mifepristone (RU-486) I've given up describing this piece. I originally wrote it kind of for the newspaper.
  • Damn Yankees, they keep on winning.
  • Hindsight My latest attempt at a short story. Unlike some of my other work, I generally don't have a good idea of how well these turn out. My teacher liked it, though.
  • Lament of a Copy Editor I've now finished my time as copy editor for my high school newspaper, the Edsman. It's been an exercise in frustration, often. We never get enough articles in on time, and some of the material I get is too bad to be described with words. (Although I tried to in this.) By the way, it's a poem.
  • A Little Box This poem describes some of the frustration that has come my way from checking one little box on the PSAT. I should note that a couple good things have happened from checking that (and similar) boxes, but 99% of the results were just junk.
  • St. Edward 2001 Valedictorian Speech This was the speech I gave at graduation.

Want to get in touch with me? My email is falcon112358@lycos.com.
Carl Staab, © 2001

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