Today is the actual opening of the show.  There's actually not a lot going on other than a few half-day tutorials and general registration and exhibitor set-up.

    After a few minutes working email and following up on customer stuff I'm off to get registered and see if I can cause a little trouble at the show hall.  Actually, I was hoping to take the LPI Certification Test they're offering.  Following a tasty breakfast of pineapple danish and coffee I head off the the Moscone Convention Center a convenient 10 blocks away.  I figger I got the Muni Pass so I hop on the #30 - that bus goes everywhere.

    Interesting note - they serve breakfast in little kitchens on the 5th, 6th, and 7th floors from 7 to 10 every day.  I am on 7, and the kitchen is about 10 feet away.  I got there at about 7:00:30, and there was already a guy in there with the tray from under his ice bucket / glasses in the room (as opposed to using the little 10x12 trays they have in the kitchen area for that purpose).  On this tray he has 4 cups of coffee, 4 glasses of OJ, and at least 1/2 of the pastry that was placed there about 30 seconds ago.  He then starts to go for the fruit.  I debate on asking him if I should hand him an empty trash can to cart off the fruit as well as the food for the rest of the floor, but I opt instead to simply head down to the 6th floor where the breakfast hasn't been raped yet.  People suck.

    I am really liking these electric busses.  They whip from 0 to 10 to 0  as they blast from stop to stop, the drivers really not caring if little old ladies are hanging on to anything or not.  Fortunately, there are lots of other people to fall against so I'm sure broken hips are few and far between.  I am equally amazed that people will not get off at "Stop A" opting instead to immediately ring for "Stop B" even though it's 20 feet from "Stop A".  But then, I also don't get people that get on an elevator and go up / down one flight when the stairs are 5 feet away.  Whatever - People suck.

    Registration is fairly uneventful - they have desks and mazes cordoned off with plastic chains that would service 10,000 people simultaneously and there's like 5 people milling about trying to register.  Apparently, there's a vast, untapped resource waiting to work conventions in SFO - the elderly.  It reminds me of another show I did (San Jose?) where all of the security guards were in their 80s.  But, everyone was nice & cheery - it was like having Grandma run your trade show.

    I got yet another book bag I'll probably fill with junk and stuff in the basement.  Better still - it has AMDs logo embroidered on one entire side of it, certain doom.  There are a couple nice pens though - when you go to clip it in your pocket it automagically retracts to keep you from ruining your pocket protector.  Neet-o.

    Turns out the LPI tests don't start until tomorrow, and then they are only given at 10:00 and 2:00 so one way or another you are doomed to miss some classes.  No wonder not many people take advantage of the offer.  It would make too much sense to have them today when there aren't that many good sessions taking place - better to have them when the really good classes are going on.

    So now I have a half day to waste.  Using my powers of grace and charm I lie my way onto the show floor.  Set-up is going full swing and crap is all over the place.  I stop by the H-P booth to see if anyone I'm supposed to meet is there, but the demos aren't even out of the boxes.  IBM is in similar shape, but they do have a zSeries box open and the guys are working Linux images on it - cool.  Should be an awesome demo - if I had .75 mil I'd throw one in the basement.

    What I really wanted to see was the Microsoft booth.  It was uninspiring, little more than a 10x20 where I'm sure they'll do little more than pass out propaganda.  I did grab a great photo.  I noticed how close the booth was to a door - quick escape if things get ugly?  But my guess us that they'll get ignored and nothing more - they certainly don't look like they have anything of value to offer the Linux community.

    I decide to head back to the hotel (walk) and work a little more email and such.  I also grab a power nap.

    I head back to the show, again hoping on the #30 for a quick bout of whiplash.  Some A-hole blows a light (in an SUV - surprise!) and nearly smashes the front of the bus.  The driver takes the last 1/4 mile to my stop at .0005 MPH.  I am momentarily tempted to just shove the rear doors open and bolt.  Oh - I also gave up my seat to a lady with a hat that looked like a giant black velvet muffin.

    I stop off at The Metreon (owned by Sony (and Microsoft I'm told but I can't find proof of that); where I saw the pre-release cut of Jay-n-Silent Bob last year!)  I stop in the Sony store to drool over the huge plasma TVs and NetMD recorders.  I grab lunch at The Buckhorn (it's what Arby's wishes it was) and head out to the lawn to lunch in the sun.  There's a nice park behind the Moscone that joins the Metreon, complete with tons of flowers, still pools and a huge waterfall that you can walk behind.  It's homeless heaven.  Lots of little birds come up to me as I eat (and I mean right up to the point where I'm tempted to flatten one just to see if I can).  I draw a metaphor to the homeless problem in SFO - they get so well taken care of that they don't want to work for survival like they should.
    In the Metreon there's a Sci-Fi store ("Things From Another World").  One of the things they have for sale is a life size replica of Robby the Robot from the all-time Sci-Fi classic "Forbidden Planet", replete with lights and sound.  Robby talks like Robby did in the move (cool!)  Robby makes the same spacey sound effects used in the movie (way cool!)  Robby blabbers advertisements for the mall.  Bummer.....  I snap a few photos, but sadly the camera is acting up again.  I will have to get back there and get some pictures again.....
    The Metron is a mall - but with an IMAX theater and actually good music playing really, really loud.

   Now it's time for my Beowulf Cluster class.  It cost me like $160, and is being given by Don Becker (founder of Scyld and author of much OpenSource software including about every network driver included in most distros)  so I have high expectations.
    I'm real early and get a seat in the first chair of the second row.  I set my crap on the second chair and go into the hall to use my cell (the room is conveniently a cellular black hole).  Upon my return 2 minutes later I am delighted to find that someone has set their crap on the chair only moments ago occupied by my ass.  So, out of 150 empty seats someone decides to sit next to me - and he was right behind me.  Making my displeasure extremely obvious I sit in chair #2, leaving him no choice but to sit next to me.  It takes him about 5 seconds to get uncomfortable and move up to the front row.  Eventually, the seat got filled, but by one of the few women at the show so I don't care.
    Apparently, the other attendees did not have the same tutorial description I had.  The one I had was something like "Beowulf Clusters".  The one that many in the room had was apparently "Ask Don Becker the most stupid, non-topical questions you can".  I'm totally serious - I could not believe the stupid questions people were asking, and in general it was like 3 people out of the whole room asking the questions.  One guy kept harping on using NIS/YP and Becker kept telling him it sucked for clusters.  Moron number 2 kept harping on multiple system images and multiple head nodes and parametric execution (somebody got buzz words off ZDNet!).  Moron number 3 could not fathom that the Scyld software was based on Red Hat but not updated like Red Hat.  Moron number 3 was to later make some lame comment about not using Red Hat kernels - it being totally obvious from his prior questions that he knew little about Linux period much less "rolling his own from kernel.org".  Morons 1 and 2 found this comment incredibly witty, while many others simply groaned at the continuing drag-ass pace of the "tutorial".  At one point some doofus in the front row (a late comer to boot) asked about a million node cluster.  And could he use a part of the million nodes to act as a game server.  That should give you an idea of the idiots in the room.  This last dork also left early, but was sure to take a copy of the free software (the old OLD Scyld stuff built on RH6.2).  I wonder if he'll get that million node quake farm up.
    But to defend the morons, Becker did an incredibly poor job of directing the tutorial.  He's a poor presenter.
    The class was supposed to run from 1:00 to 4:00.  At 4:50 I finally walked out.  I am sure that I will see the Scyld guys on the floor and learn more in 15 minutes than I did in the room full of suits.

    After that it was another walk back to the hotel, a few more hours working email, and then off to dinner with a couple Pioneer folks (Mark and Laura) at a little Italian place called Buca di Beppo (Joe's Big Basement).  It was family style with bowls of tasty pasta dishes coming in 2 sizes - 2 pounds and 3 pounds.  We had some rigatoni (red sauce) and some tortelini (cream sauce) dishes between the three of us, and Mark took home well over half of it.  I got my chocolate fix when the 3 of us decided to split a piece of cake.  Like the main course, it was huge - like 1/4 of a cake - so there was plenty to go around.  Another awesome meal in SFO!

    I debated walking back as Buca was right near the convention center, but it was chilly tonight so I took the ride back with Mark.  He lives over Knob Hill, but had a hard time finding Geary Street.  He went the wrong way on a one-way.  Now I don't feel so bad about my escapades on earlier trips.......

    Well, that's it for today's excitement.  Tune in tomorrow for more fun as it happens.....
 

More fun with Day Four..........