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Homo-protectus

Now, there is the ever celebrated, human of bars! Named for its uncany talent of protecting any and all women from even the most minute detail of discomfort. This is slightly misleading because most of the focus is spent on trying, and once in a great while, succeeding at pummeling any other male that so much as gazes at the famale one wished to pursue. In all reality, the protectus gets his posterior whomped veraciously into the bar floor. In very rare instances one of these males may be successful in its duty. This is usually accomplished by use of steroids or lage cars to make up for other short comings. Needless to say that the female is almost always left disappointed.They may be very easily identified by the scars of past pummlings that were sustained in this protector's life. Usually the most visible are the broken beer bottle shard scars. These may be found just below the jawline, near the jugulars.