As we Join Link He just got a Triforce piece from a River Zora!

Link: "Now I have three pieces of the Triforce, and the next is at the bottom of the ocean!  But how do I get there?”
Old man: "Well you could tie a rock to your foot, and say did you find the digging tool yet?"
Link: "...Yes...  Say, are you Omochao in disguise?"
Old man: "No"
Link: "OK.  How will I breathe underwater?"
River Zora: "Oh here take this tunic this should help!" *Gives Link the Zora tunic*
Link: "Right."  *Picks up the tunic and it disappear, then the green tunic turns blue.* “Um...  Weird."
Old man: "Did you find the digging tool yet?"
  Link: "Yes!"  *Ties a rock to his foot using the Hookshot, then throws the rock into the ocean.*
Old man: "I was talking to the Zora"
River Zora: "No not yet, But I've been looking hard..."
Link: *Sinking.* “So bored...  How deep can this stupid ocean be!"
River Zora: "That old kooky man told me to help you!" 
Link: "Aren't River Zoras supposed to be evil?"
River zora: "What are you talking about? The authors jumped to conclusions. I'm a  just Zora..."
Link: "Why would Ganon have a good Zora defend a Triforce piece?"
Zora: "Ummm... I don't work for Ganon..."
Link: "Then what were you doing with that Triforce piece?"
Zora: "My Zoran tribe protected it and you should hit the bottom in 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1!"
Link: "Finally!  Now, where do I go?"
Zora: "Silly Hylian, You go to lord jaba-jaba!"
Link: "Jaba-Jaba?  Is that a descendent of Jabu Jabu?"
Zora: "... No I have a Speech Impediment"
Link: "Oh.  Say, where'd he go after Zora's Domain froze, anyway?"
Zora: "I dunno... Over there?" *Points to the Zoran City conveniently placed nearby...*
Link: "OK."  *Heads to Zoran City.*
Random Zora: Welcome! Welcome! Welcome to our World of toys!"
Zora: "good for you"
Link: "...This is horrible!  Ganon's already affected some people to make them seem like Omochao!"
Random Zora: "What’s an Omochao?"
Link: "The most horrible being in the universe...  Say, can I go see the big fish?"
Zora: "Say Link from now on you can call me Jack, and don't worry Omochao would explode before they reached the city!"
Random Zora: "follow me!"
*later at the lord Jabu jabu*
Link: "What do I have to do now?"
Jack: "Silly Hylian, Give him an offering then be sucked into him!"
Link: "...That seems like a bad idea."
Jack: "... Look you wanna save Hyrule or not?"
Link: "Hm...  Tough choice..."
Jack: "..."
Link: "Hm...  I dunno..."
Jack: "Come on choose, boy choose!"
Link: "...Fine."  *Throws a fish at Jabu Jabu.*
Jabu jabu: "uuuuwa!" * swallows Link and Jack*
Link: "OK, what now?"
Jack: "Simple silly Hylian, find the boss! But first have a beer!"
Link: "Well, step 1 seems easy enough...  But how am I going to find the boss?"
Jack: "wander around?" *gives Link a beer*
Link: *Takes one sip.* “WeeEEe!"  *Hic.* *Stumbles into one of those hole things.*
Jack: "WATCH OUT!! Oh wait he's already fallen, NEVER MIND!" *jumps in after Link*
Link: "UmmmmMMMMMMM...  WhERe tO NOw?  OH!"  *Runs towards a door like thing, but hits a wall.*
Octorok: "Hi! I'm here to kill you!"
Link: "HaaaA!  I'Ll BeAT yOU!  EaSILy!"  *Slashes at the Octorok, but is way off.*
Jack: "Moron Look at the one in the middle that’s the real one!"
Link: "OHHHhh!  ThE OnE in ThE mIDDle!"  *Hits self with hilt of sword.*
Jack: *sighs* *throws a rock at the Octorok Killing it*
Octorok: "GAK! wutu..." *dies*
Link: "WhOOa...” *Points at Jack.* “ThIS ClOCk gIVes REceIPts."
Jack: "This is sad I thought he could handle more than one sip..."
Link: "Is THiS thE DR. MaRIo pLAYinG COnTesT?"
Jack: "SNAP OUT OF IT MAN!" *slaps Link*
Link: "Huh?  Whoa, that was weird."
Jack: "yes very..." *puts away the camera he was using to tape it all...*
Link: "Anyway...  The boss must be...  This way!"  *Runs through the door.*
*Two hours later...*
Link: "Or...  Wait, maybe this way..."
Jack: "Why not try this door?" *Points to a door with the boss markings on it*
Link: "No way that could be the door..."
Jack: "LIAR!" *pushes Link through it* "Have fun!"
Link: "Whoa!"  *Falls down near the boss.*
Phantom Moblin: "MUAHAHAHAA!"
Link: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  *Runs around in circles.*
Triforce Pieces: "You idiot!  We're giving you courage!"
Link: "Hey, aren't you inanimate objects?"
Triforce Pieces: "Oh yeah..."
Phantom Moblin: "Prepare to Die! Butter smells good! Don't eat cheese!"
Link: "I must save the land from horrors like this!"  *Grabs the rock he tied to his foot, and throws it at the Moblin.*
Omochao: "Ow..."
Phantom Moblin: *disintigrates into many Omochao*
Link: "AHHHHHHH!"  *Starts stepping on the Omochao.*
All Omochao: "Hi!"
Link: *Picks up a nearby hammer and starts crushing the Omochao with it.*
All remaining Omochao: "STUPIDITY BEAM!" *Link gets hit by a beam that makes him dumber*
Link: "Noooooooooooooooooooo!  I've got too few IQ points to afford to lose more!"
Omochao: "... Oh... SMARTITITY BEAM!" *Shoots a beam at link that makes him like 10 IQ points smarter!*
Link: "...Whoa.  They're more stupid than I thought."  *Looks up and notices a huge rock being held up by a rope, then climbs a ladder to get on top of it, and cuts the rope.*
Omochao: "I told them that was a bad move..." *All the omochao get crushed...*
Link: "Yay!  Now, where's that Triforce piece?"
*Triforce piece falls slowly from the ceiling*
Ganon: "IT'S MINE!"
*2 hours later...*
Link: "Hi, Ganon.  It's still too high up to get, Check back in an hour or so.”
Ganon: "Wanna play go fish?"
Link: "Fish...  That reminds me...  Where'd that fish go?"
Jack: "I'm right here! And sure!"
Link: *Climbs up a ladder and grabs the Triforce piece while Ganon and Jack are distracted.*
Ganon: "I'll get you Foolish Hylian!" *runs off into the stomach*
Link: "OK, now where's that old man?"
Jack: "We're still in Jaba jaba ya know..."
Link: "...Oh, right."
*Later...*
Link: "OK, we're out, NOW where's that old man?"
Old man: *sneaks up behind link* "BLAH!"
Link: "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!  Why do people keep doing that?!?"
Old man: "So Jack can take your picture!"
Link: "Jack!  You..."
Jack: "I didn't do it!" *puts his camera away*
Old man: "Your next clue lies with in the forest in the west"
Link: "...Haven't I already been to that forest?"
Old man: "... No this is a different one"
Jack: "And I think I'll just go back to my people now!"
Old man: "thank you for looking after my Imbecile!"
Jack: "No problem just don't make me do it again!" *leaves*
Link: "Ooh!  That reminds me!  The Omochao raised my IQ 10 points!  Now I can do simple math problems!"
Old man: "good! What’s one plus one?"
Link: "I said simple!"
Old man: "that’s as simple as they get next to zero plus zero"
Link: "Ummm... Zero? No, wait, two!"
Old man: "zero plus zero is what now?"
Link: "Zero!  No, two!  Yeah, two."
Old man: "zero you idiot!"
Moblin: "BLAH!"
Link: *Stabs Moblin.* “OK, well, how do we get to the forest?"
Moblin: "Ouchies... And I just wanted to be your friend!" *dies*
Old man: "Just head west until you find your second forest there you will meet me!" *walks off*
Link: "OK."  *Heads east.*
*5 hours later...*
Moblin that link killed 5 hours earlier: "he said west not east"
Link: "AH!  A ghost! AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"  *Runs west as fast as he can.*
Moblin Ghost: *sniffle* "And I just wanted to be your friend..."
*10 hours later*
Old man: "So finally decided to show up eh?"
Link: "OK, bring it on!"
Old man: "Okay" *Hits link in the leg with his cane and then pins him to the ground*
Link: "...Ow..."
Old man: *starts to twist Link's right arm* "say uncle, SAY UNCLE!"
Link: "...But I'm not the Link who has an uncle..."
Old man: *twists even harder* "SAY UNCLE!"
Link: "ACK!  Uncle!  Uncle!"
Old man: *gets off of link* "had enough?"
Link: "Ow..."
Old man: "now we need to find the master sword and see if you’re Hylian enough to full it from its pedestal..."
Link: "Right!  Wait...  Where is the Master Sword?"
Old man: "What all did your father teach you?"
Link: "He taught me that if you stab something in the head, it'll most likely die."
Old man: "and?"
Link: "And...  That Ganon's evil?"
Old man: "and?"
Link: "And...  Not to hit myself with my sword?"
Old man: "Anything about the master sword?"
Link: "Well, he said that its magic used to make it so you had to be a certain age to use it...  That they moved it to somewhere in the northwestern Lost Woods?"
Old man: "Riiiiight, now how old are you then?"
Link: "Um...  I lost count somewhere around 3.  But the magic's gone now!"
To be continued...