As we join our Master of stupidity he is Hard at work looking for the Master sword!
Old Man: "Did you find the Evil slaying tool yet?"
Link: "Not yet." Trips over a sword.*  "Hey!  This must be the Master Sword, despite the fact that it's nothing like it!"
Old Man: "Well thats because you haven't even entered the forest yet!"
Link: "...Oh."  *Enters forest.*
Old Man: "Impossible child"
*Meanwhile in the forest*
Link: "I'm possible!"
Moblin: "BLAH!"
Link: "...I'm getting used to that.  What do you want?"
Moblin: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE FOREST OF LOSTLESSNESS!?"
Link: "You mean the Lost Woods?  Looking for the blade of evil's bane."
Moblin: "Who-ja-what-a-wa?"
Wolfos: "AWOO!"
Link: "Give me the Master Sword or I'll stab you with the wooden sword!"
Wolfos: "Why shold we?" *Attack link*
Link: *Hits the Wolfos on the head.*
Wolfos: "Ow..." *swipes at link*
Link: *Jumps out of way.*  "Ha!  You'll have to try harder than tha..."  *Looks down.*  "AHHHHH!  I'M BLEEDING!"  *Runs around in circles.*
Moblin and Wolfos: "-.-;;;"   
Triforce peices: "You moron we're giving you courage!!!"
Link: "You're still inanimate objects!"
Triforce peices: "... So?"
Link: "So that means you can't talk!  Only the completed Triforce can talk, and that's only because it's transmitting messages of the gods, like a radio!"
Moblin: "BLAH!" *throws a rock at link"
Triforce peices: "Oh fine" *they shut up*
Link: "Wha?  Ow!"  *Rubs head.* *Pulls a computer keyboard out of nowhere and smashes it over the Wolfos' head.*
Moblin: "blah blah?!"   
 Wolfos: "Ouchies" *dies*   
 Moblin: "You'll pay dearly for that!!!" *runs away*
Link: "I won a battle!  I get sixteen experience points!"
Rock: "No you don't..."
Link: *Stabs rock.*
Rock: "Ha HA! it'll take more than that to kill me!"
Link: "Hey, this reminds me of a comic I read once..."  *Throws the rock in a river.*
Rock: "I'll get blub you blub blub...  "
*later*
Link: *Looks around.*  "Where's that Master Sword?!?"
Moblin: "BLAH! turn around and see what I have in store for you!!"
Link: *Turns around.*  "Yes?"
Moblin: *in a mech* "BLAH!"
Link: "You said there was a store!"
Moblin: "Are you that dumb!?"
Link: "I think the answer to that is obvious!"
Moblin: "Right... Moron..." *begins to shoot at link*
Link: "Umm..."  *Throws a rock at the Moblin.*
Moblin: "Didn't you throw that rock in the river? oh well..." *shoots the rock*
Link: "That wasn't the same rock!  Well...  There's one thing that never fails me!"  *Takes out the fork, which is, incidentally, one of the Triumph Forks, then stabs the mech."
Moblin: "Darn..." *the mech explodes* "Looks like team moblins blasting off agaaaaaaaaaain..."
Link: "...That was strange."
*ping*
Link: "Where's that old man?"
Old man: *sneaks up behind link* "BLAH!"
Link: "Ah!  Old man!  I need your help..."
Old man: "What? Your not scared?"
Link: "It doesn't matter...  I need help finding the Master Sword...  Could you get Omochao to help me?"
Old man: "WHAT!? YOUR ASKING FOR HELP FROM OMOCHAO?!"
Omochao: "Hi! there!"
Link: "Actually, I wanted to throw him as far as he could go.  He'd probably head towards the Master Sword."  *Grabs the Omochao.*
Omochao: "I like being held!"
Link: *Throws Omochao.*
Omochao: "WHEEEEE!!!" *hits a tree and explodes*
Link: "Aw...  Well, that didn't help."
Old Man: "I told you Omochaos not helpful..."
Link: "Well...  Do you have any ideas on finding the Master Sword?”
Old Man: "Well... I could give you this plot device that would help you... But, that would be too easy..."
Link: "That doesn't help."
Old Man: "Well it is a plot device..."
Link: "I want it!  I don't care if it's too easy!"
Old Man: "What?! Stop changing your mind!!"
Link: "I need that Master Sword!"
Old Man: "Okay fine" *looks around then hands Link a rock*
Link: "What am I supposed to do with this?"
Old Man: "Don't ask me"
Link: "Omochao was more helpful..."
Old Man: "... He just rammed into a tree you call that 'More helpful' ?”
Link: "Yes!"
Old Man: "..." *Smacks link on the head with his cane*
Link: "Ouch!"  *Throws the rock at the old man.*
Old Man: "..." *steps to the side then hits link on the head again*
Link: "STOP THAT!"  *Takes the old man's cane away.*
Old Man: "Noo..." *falls to the ground grasping his back* "Ouchies..."
Link: *Throws it back and walks off in a random direction.*
Old Man: *takes his cane* "Leave now or i'll make my Torches Shoot fire at you!"
Link: "What torches?  We're in the middle of the forest!"
Old Man: "HA!" *the torches begin to shoot fire at link*
Link: "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  *Runs into a nearby room.*
*3 hours later...*
Old Man: "are you Going to stay in here forever?"
Link: "Maybe..."
Old Man: "Look I know where the master sword is just follow me..."
*58 hours later*
Link: "Hold on just a few more minutes, I'm playing EarthBound Zero!"
*Door opens revealing a room full of NES games.*
Old Man: *Slaps link* "You that this is time to play vidio games?! The future of the land rests on your shoulders!!!"
Link: "But I don't wanna go back out there..."
Old Man: *drags Link by the ear*
*58 hours later*
Old Man: "Here we are!"
Link: "Hurray!  Wait, why is the Master Sword just laying on the ground?"
Old Man: "thats not it! over there!!!" * points to a huge staircase that you can barly see the top of*
*4 days later*
Link: *Sleeping.*
Old Man: *distantly* "keep going link your more that half way there!!"
Link: "H...  Wha?"  *Yawn.*  "OK..."  *Continues walking.*
*1 week later*
Link: "Is this the top yet?"
Old Man: "yeees!"
Link: "Yay!  Where's the Master Sword?"
Old man: "I'll show you!"
*a few weeks later*
Link: "This is taking too long..."
Old man: * reaches link* "o... Okay... here... It is...* pushes a door open*
Link: *Enters door.*
Kino Makoto: "O-O LINK-SAMA?!"
Link: "Huh?"
Kino Makoto: *Huggles Link*
Link: "Um...  Old man, I think you gave me the wrong directions..."
Old Man: "No They were Right"
Link: "Then where's that Master Sword?"
Kino Makoto: "OH! right here o-o I love MOO!!"
Link: "Thanks!"  *Takes the Master Sword.*  "Now to go back to that room and play video games..."
Old Man: "Uh oh he was too young..."
*link and Kino get stuck in time for 7 years*
*7 years later*
Link: "Huh?  Agh...  Feels like I've been stuck here for 7 years..."
Kino Makoto: "I LOVE MOO!"
Link: "O...K..."  *Begins to walk down the stairs.*
Kino Makoto: " o•o wait link-sama!" *chases after him*
Link: "But I need to beat Ganon...  Say, I wonder if that old man's still alive..."
Kino Makoto: "I wouldn't hold your breath, look there..." *point to a coarpse*
Link: "Hm...  Now there's no one to tell me what to do!" *Runs to the room.*
Kino Makoto: "Wait I CAN HELP!"
Link: "Help what?"
Kino Makoto: "You with your quest oh great LINK-SAMA!" *drools*
Link: "But I don't wanna go on a quest..."
Kino Makoto: "... Hey I was the One who created that story 'Adventures with Omochao' I can help destroy them!"
Link: "But I wanna play EB0..."
Kino Makoto: "OKAY!! What ever you say Link-Sama! *-*"   *drools*
Link: *Enters room and begins playing.*

To be continued…