As we join our hero he is still stuck in the forest... 
Link: "lucky me I just found this 'Real' sword" 
Old Man: *Runs by.* "Did you find the Triforce tool yet?" 
TheNut5000:  Link: "I told you old man NO! I'm not the link you remember"   
Old Man: "You mean there's more than one of you?!?  Oh...  That would explain why your age seems to randomly change..." *Walks off.* 
Ganon: *Falls from the sky.* “Stop, intruder!  I won't let you get the Triforce of Courage piece hidden directly east of here!" 
Link: "what are you talking about?"   
Ganon: "Um...  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing..." *Begins walking east, then runs.* 
Link: "hey!" *runs after ganon then passed him*   
*later*   
Link: "hey what’s this weird triangular yellow golden thingy!?"   
Ganon: *Catches up.* “Nothing...  Nothing important...  Just give it to me." 
Link: "naaah I think I'll touch it" *touches it and gets the Triforce of courage* "Ooo I feel all Couragely and stuff!"   
Ganon: "Oh no!"  *Runs off.* 
Link: "Wow, I feel as if I need to destroy Ganon, and I don't know why..."   
Dragon: "HEY! You were supposed to fight me!" 
Link: "..."   
Link: "aren't you also in that game golden sun?"   
Dragon: "I dunno, I never played it." 
Dragon: *Spits fire at Link.* 
Link: "well I guess I have to fight you... OO; hey!" *gets his tooshie toasted*   
Link: "AHHH!" *starts running around in circles tying to put it out*   
Dragon: "HA!  It would take a miracle to save you now!" 
Dragon: *Runs towards Link, but runs to far and falls into a nearby ocean.* 
Link: "WAIT I'LL SAVE YOU!" * grabs the dragons hand*  
Dragon: "Huh?  Wahahaha!  Now to kill you!" 
Old man: "your next clue lies in the mountains"   
Link: "I'm a little busy if you didn't notice old man!"   
Link: "Well you still wanna fight even after I just saved you?"   
Dragon: "Umm...  Yes!"  *Shoots fire at Link again.* 
Link: "HEY! Ouchies" * dodges then stabs the dragon in the foot*   
Dragon: "Ow..."*Bleeds to death.* 
Link: "Poor dragon..." 
Old man: "Have you checked the eastern mountains yet?"   
Old Man: "So, let's see...  There's the Hero of Time, the Legendary Hero of Hyrule, the Hero of the Winds...  I'll call this Link...  The Hero of Stupidity!"
Link: "Ha ha very funny old man...  " 
Old Man: "Funny?  It is a decree from me, Saianojop, one of the new sage type people!  Now, go to the mountains!" 
Link: "Saianojop? Hmmm never heard of you but, If I must..."*heads off toward the mountains*   
*Hours later...  At some mountain range...* 
Link: "Wow its so... Mountany!"   
Knight from Hyrule Castle: *Runs up.* “You!  You're wearing green!  That automatically makes you a great hero, doesn't it?" 
Link: "I guess it runs in the family so yeah I guess..."   
Knight: "Right, well, Princess Zelda's been kidnapped.  She told me to tell a hero to go look for the Triforce pieces, and to not hit yourself with your sword repeatedly." 
Link: "Do they ALL know of this!?"   
Knight: "Well, anyway, you have to go through this well designed maze, which seemed to come out of nowhere one day, in this cave in the mountain." 
Link "... Oh! Sorry do go on.  " 
Knight: "Once you go through that, you have to fight a giant monster that has a great chance of killing you.  Then you pick up the golden triangle.  Then repeat that about 6 more times." 
Link: "so where do I find this cave filed with monsters and beer?"   
Knight: "The cave filled with monsters and beer is right over there.  Except the minors can't have beer." 
Link: "what are you talking about?"*Slinks into the cave of beer*   
Monster: "geT OuT oF hERe yOu StUPId kId!"  *Hic.* 
Link: "hey hey hey! I just wanna be your friend!"   
Monster: "wELl, YOu CaN'T HaVe AnY!"  *Trips over a pebble and is knocked out.* 
Link: "good for me"*runs off with a keg*   
*Somewhere deeper in the dungeon...* 
Link: "WeE ThAt'S FuNnY! HIc!"   
Old Man: "Did you find the digging tool yet?" 
Link: "What the? Are you trying to kill me old man?"   
Old Man: "I'm guessing you haven't.  Oh well.  I've got an extra one."  *Gives Link a spoon.* 
Link: "..." *takes the spoon* "I'll save this for later"   
Old Man: "Master using it, Hero of Stupidity!" 
Link: "... I think I'll ignore you for now, Saaaay want some beer?"   
Old Man: "I would, but I just realized that there's no ground in this room...” *Falls.* 
Link: "yes there is"   
Old Man: "Then why does it look like a giant hole?" 
Link: "have your retinas detached again?" 
Old Man: "Just look at the ground!  It's all black!" 
Link: "could it be THAT WE ARE STANDING ON BLACK MARBLE?! OR OBSIDIAN!?"   
Old Man: "Of course not!  What kind of sense does that make?" 
Link: "Well this cave does sell beer, and make lots of money... So they could have bought black marble for the ground..."   
Old Man: "Be gone, or I'll make my torches shoot fire at you!" 
Link: "Who are you talking to?"*wanders out of the cave*   
Giant Moblin: "BLAH!" 
Monster: "hey there old man!"   
Old Man: "Hello, giant Moblin monster thing!" 
Giant Moblin: *sniffle* "Wow someone who's not trying to kill me..."   
Old Man: "Would you like some beer?  I just drank 42 cans of it, and now I don't think there's any ground!" 
Giant Moblin: "sure" *thinking to himself* "just act nice then kill him and take his wallet"   
Old Man: "OK!"  *Throws a can at the Moblin, but because of aim being off, hits the Moblin in the head really hard with the can.* 
Giant Moblin: "Ow." *Takes the beer and chugs it* "Whoa..." *dies*   
*Let's see how the Hero of Stupidity is doing.  Cut to the boss room...* 
Link: "I could have sworn this way led to the outside..."   
Giant Octorok: "WAHAHA!  I am the boss of this dungeon!" 
Link: "wouldn't you be in an area with water?"   
Giant Octorok: "Well, you see, Octoroks have evolved over the years.  By the time of The Legend of Zelda, maybe earlier, we lived on land, since freshwater sources were getting harder to find." 
Link: "Oh, okay then that means I have to do this! HEEEYA!"   *Jumps on to Giant Octorok* "HIYAAA!" *start to viciously stab it with his wooden sword" 
Giant Octorok: *Spins around in circles in an attempt to get Link off.* 
Old man: "Woo hee! 100 bottles of buttered toast on the wall 452 Bottles of buttered toast take one down and, did you find the digging tool yet?" *throws a spoon to link*   
Giant Octorok: "AHHHHHHHHH!  Not the spoon!" 
Link: "Ah HA!" *starts to poke and prod the Giant Octorok with the spoon*   
Giant Octorok: "Gak!"  *Dies.* 
Ganon: *Runs up.* “The Triforce piece is mine!" 
Link: *falls on to the Triforce piece* "oops"   
Ganon: "...Curse you, Hylian!"  *Jumps out a nearby window.* “Oops, I forgot this is the top of a mountain range.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh..."  
Link: "..."   
Old man: "To find the digging tool Check you left shoe"   
Knight: *Comes in.* “Thank you, Link, but our princess is in another dungeon!" 
Link: "..."   
Old Man: "Go to the long dried up Lake Hylia, or else!" 
Link: "doom?"   
Old Man: "No, not doom...  Even worse." 
Link: "Aww, man are you trying to get me killed?   
Old Man: "No, even worse than death...  Ganon plans to plunge the land into darkness... by filling it with Omochao!" 
Link: "Dear God NO!"   
Omochao: "hi!"   
Link: "NOOO!" *cuts Omochao in half with his sword then burns the corpse*   
Old Man: "NO!  He's already begun his plans!  Link, hurry to where Lake Hylia used to be!" 
Link: "no I think that was just a fluke"   
Old Man: "I hope so, but, regardless, you must prevent it.”
Link:   *runs far away from the old man to Lake Hylia* 
Old Man: "Oops, I forgot to give him this Hookshot.  Oh well, won't be too important, I'm sure." 
*Cut to Lake Hylia, where Link's having a small bit of trouble.* 
Link: "Crap I wish that old Man was here he'd help me...  " 
Omochao: "To call the old man, use that rope to tie a rock to your foot, and stand at the bottom of the lake!" 
Link: "are you trying to kill me?   
Omochao: "Yes!"  *Flies away.* 
Link: "pweh"   
Old Man: *Runs up.* “I finally... finally caught up.  Here, I forgot to give you this."  *Gives Link the Hookshot.* 
Link: "YAY the Springy Shrinky thingy!”
Link; *uses the hook shot to get to the place were he needs to be*   
River Zora: "Hey, what're you doing here?  This is my territory!" 
Link: "saving the world from an evil army of Omochao?"   
River Zora: "O...Omochao?  Right, just take the Triforce piece!"  *Gives it to Link.* 
Link: "thank you..." *thinking* "that was easy"   
Omochao: "Hey!  You didn't think you'd get away that easily, did you?  Now you have to fight ME!" 
Link: "I'm giddy..." *slices Omochao in half*   
Omochao: "Why are you being such a bully?  I didn't do anything wrong!  I'm leaving!"  *Explodes.* 
Link: "YAY!"   
Old Man: "Now you have to go to the bottom of the ocean somehow to get the next piece." 
Link: "dagnabbit"   
Link: "Say if you know where all of them are why don't you go get them your self?"   
Old Man: "Because I'm an old man!  Old people don't go on adventures!" 
Link: "sure they do your going on one right now!"   
Baconman: "Hey I'm an old man and I go on adventures all the time!" *gives link 5 lbs of bacon and leaves*   
Link: "YAY! BACON! Want some old man?"   
Old Man: "Sure!" 
Link: *give the ma some bacon* "Bless you Baconman!"   
Old Man: *Eats bacon.* “You know, I agree with Eggman's plans more, but I like how Baconman randomly gives out bacon." 
Waffleman: "waffles anyone?"   
Old Man: "Yeah!"  *Takes some.* “Breakfast based villains are awesome!" 
Sausageman: "Hi!"   
Link: "aren't you dead?"   
Sausageman: "Maaaaaybe"   
Old Man: "I saw him die with my own eyes!" 
Link: "..."   
Sausageman: "oohh yeah..." *dies*   
To be continued...