As we all know link gets in weird adventures but, this one takes the cake literally... 
  
Link: "I'm hungry...  Ooh!  Cake!  I think I'll take it!" 
Ganon: "NOT so fast samurai, oh wait wrong line"   
Link: "Ganon!  So, you finally decided to show your face, huh?  Wait...  Didn't my ancestors imprison you?  And turn you to stone?  And kill you, on many different occasions?" 
Ganon: "I dunno maybe, too many links to remember..."   
Link: "Right, well, I'll stop you, just like those before me!"  *Draws sword.* “Huh? A paper sword?" 
Ganon: "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!" *cast some random spell* "now your DOOMED!"   
Link: "Oh no!  My brain feels numb!"  *Hits self with paper sword over and over.* “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...”
Ganon: "Perfect, that’s not what I expected to happen; but as long as link gets hurt I'm happy!"   
*Scene change time!  Cut to Ganon's Death Mountain base, about three centuries after the original Legend of Zelda!*     
Ganon: *Walks in.* “With Link slowly killing himself with his paper sword, I shall cover the land in darkness!  Muahahaha!" 
Link: "Ow, ow, ow, ow,"   
Ganon: "Why I brought him with me, I do not know.  Anyway, it's time to look for the other Triforce pieces!  Wait...  I don't have any anymore!"
Ganon: "Wait...  He doesn't have a piece?  GAH!  I forgot!  This is a different Link!" 
Link: "I'll stop you!" *continues hitting self with paper sword* *thinking* “urge to kill self -raising cannot control left arm!”
Ganon: "Yeah right, foolish Hylian.  Hm...  If I was a Triforce piece, where would I hide...?” 
Link: "Can I go now?"   
Ganon: "Sure."  *Casts Dispel on Link, then checks under the cushions of a random conveniently placed couch.* “AHA!  Aw...  Nothing there..."  
Link: "I'll stop you!" *starts whacking Ganon with his paper sword!*   “TAKE THAT!"   
Ganon: "Ahahahahaha!  You fool!  Do you expect that to bea-  AHHHH!  PAPER CUT!" 
Ganon: *Runs around screaming.* 
Link: "IT’S WORKING!"   
Ganon: "Agh!  You'll pay for that, Hylian!"  *Picks up a bag of cotton balls and throws it at Link.* 
Link: "AH! NO! NOT THE COTTON!" *gets hit and falls to the ground crying like a sissy*   
Ganon: "Muahahaha.  Prepare to meet your doom!"  *Picks something up, but accidentally brushes the paper cut, and, like Link, falls to the ground crying like a sissy.* 
Link: "Must Run Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!" *runs away from Ganons castle like place*   
Ganon: *Getting up.* "Curse you Hylian...  Mark my words, I shall return." 
*2 weeks later... In a forest some where*   
Link: "wow this is a weird forest"   
Moblin: *Comes out of nowhere.* "Blah!" 
Link: "AHH!" *almost suffers a heart attack* "DON'T DO THAT!"   
Moblin: "You...  You're Link, aren't you?" 
Link: "well who else would be wearing this silly outfit?"   
Moblin: "Hm, well, Tingle, any Kokiri, Peter Pan..." 
Link: "..."   
Moblin: "What businesses have you in the Forest of Death and Forbidden-ness?" 
Link: "Ummm wandering from ganon?"   
Moblin: "Well, since I'm one of Ganon's minions, I should probably try to kill you." 
Link: "yeah maybe" *UN seethes paper sword*   
Moblin: *Takes a leaf off a tree and attempts to throw it at Link, but it gets blown away by a breeze.* 
Moblin: "What's with all these stupid weapons?" 
Link: *gives the moblin multiple paper cuts* "I dunno bad authors are my guess"   
Moblin: "Oh."  *Dies of paper cuts.* 
Link: "Wow is this what exp feels like? It’s all tingly!" 
Old Man: *Walks up.* “Hello, there, young weird person in green." 
Link: "Hi there old man whom will most likely give useless and some what of riddled advice!"   
Old Man: "East-most peninsula holds the secret."  *Walks off.* 
Link; "they are always so predictable"   
Octork: "Hi, we're Octorks!  We're here to kill you!" 
Link: *Wanders off and trips on a blade of grass* "OW!" *notices a wooden sword*   
Octork: *Sniff.* "He ignored us...  We just wanted to be your friend!" 
Link: "WOW! A real sword" *picks it up* "so this is what a real sword feels like it's all tingly!"

To be continued...