Puerto Ricans outraged

POSTED: 3:37 p.m. EDT August 3, 2002
UPDATED: 11:41 a.m. EDT August 4, 2002
EAST BRUNSWICK--A group of about three to four teens went on a paintball rampage in Central Jersey last night. In a night of bright colors and angry miniorities, atleast five houses and countless cars were savagely attacked .
   Police Chief Jack Mehoff, of the Dunellen Police Department, confirmed that about three of their police cruisers weere sniped out of a moving car. Eyewitnesses say they saw a blue cavilier with two honkeies and a floating pair of white teeth escaping the scene.

 Elsewhere, in Old Bridge, the famous Ciachio Whore House was ruthlessly attacked. The owner, Corinne, remarkied, "I wish I could have boned them when I had the chance, instead of calling the black one a nigger. Now I'll never get my chance and I'm stuck with this glasses-wearing oaf for the rest of my life." Our reporters didn't know what to make of that so we just smiled and nodded. 

 Puerto Ricans from Perth Amboy are outraged, and the Rev. Al Sharpton led a hunger strike to protest the racial targetting of spics in Jeep Grand Cherokee's. They all died. Good Riddance. Rice and bean eating mother fuckers.

 oh oops...umm....WNBC news. werd. Back to you, Conan.