The Passenger Seat: Story One
I'll prove her wrong. If Jennifer seriously thinks she can make a fool outta me, then she has another thing coming. I will win that bet! The nerve of her, going through the trouble of buying me a Ferrari Testarossa with her own money. Spoiled brat. Not only will I get through all five routes in time, I'll blow her away with my amazing driving skills.
....I think. A turn here, a small drift there, pass by a couple cars, and Jennifer looks like she's about to fall asleep. Unfortunately, Palm Beach isn't the best place to show off my racing abilities.
"Wake me up when we reach the finish line, Alberto." she said with such cocky arrogance.
She was pushing it....
Finally, after going through two incredibly dull routes, I reached a location that features rough curves and a treacherous s-turn finale.
"This will definitely impress her." I thought.
As I pull off a spectacular feat by driving through this dangerous s-turn flawlessly, I was expecting to see Jennifer literally wet her skirt after witnessing that.
"Not bad." she said.
Not what I was expecting....
Come on!! I didn't hit any of the side rails and managed to squeeze through a truck and a bus without touching them! Ugh, fine. I got two more routes to work with. Even if I don't wow her, I'll still win my part of the bet. It's just two more routes left, it can't be that hard.....right?
Luck was on her side, it seems.
As we pass through a mammoth-sized industrial factory, it looks like I picked the worst time to do this race. Everyone just got off of their jobs and now I'll have to work my way through a rush hour of epic proportions. I slam into the side of a fence, crash into the rear bumper of a car, and to top it all off, the car goes flying into the air after attempting to plow through what seemed like harmless red cones. More like little demon spikes from hell. After conveniently landing on the pavement without a scratch, I hastily accelerate towards the checkpoint with only two seconds to spare.
That was too damn close.
Jennifer, who looked horrified by the traumatic experience, quickly regained her composure and said "One more route with just fifty seconds remaining. You're not gonna make it."
The sad thing was, she was right. It would be impossible to finish this final route on time. I was about to give up right there, letting Jennifer win her side of the bet. Strip dancing for Wolf can't be that bad. I mean, I can just pretend it's someone else.
But then, she said it.
"I knew you were a horrible driver. You can't even make it through ONE race. I don't know what I was thinking going out with a loser like you."
Oh, it's on now, bitch.
I slammed the acceleration pedal and never eased up on it. I sped through the ancient ruins at full throttle, staying at top gear the whole time. It was amazing, I dodged every single vehicle, successfully made it through all the turns, and the whole time never dropping below 180 mph. I zoomed right through the finish line as the timer was about to reach zero.
I did it!
As I shut down the car and pull out the ignition key, I glanced over at Jennifer. She was frozen. Shocked that I actually made it.
"I won the bet. Now you have to do it." I gladly said.
"Fine...." grumpily replying.
Unfortunately, we were out in the middle of nowhere. So no one was around to see to what was about to happen. Ah, well. Anyway, she took off her skirt and panties to reveal a thick, nine-inch cock. It wasn't even erected yet!! Awesome, an actual challenge. My pubic hairs started tingling on my tiny testicles just thinking about what was gonna happen next.
"Let's just get this over with." Jennifer said.
Being somewhat annoyed, I said "Fine, let's do it."
And for the next two hours, we fought an intense battle of the wangs.
"Ugh, can't we just have sex?"
"No! Cockfight! COCKFIGHT!! I WILL DEFEAT YOU WITH MY THREE-INCH ANNIHILATOR!!!"
Best. Day. Ever.
The Passenger Seat: Story Two
"WOO-HOO-HOO!"
"Clarissa, calm down." I said in a nervous voice.
"You're so cool!" she said while looking like a complete ass.
"Be quiet, he's coming!" I whispered, as so the guy approaching wouldn't notice.
"Drift more!" she replied, as if the car was still in motion.
"SHUT THE HELL UP!!" I shouted into her left ear.
The unknown figure finally came to a stop on my side of the car. "License and registration."
Crap. I knew I went too far with these stunts. I guess I got a bit carried away when trying to please Clarissa, it looked like she was really enjoying it. When she kept telling me to do stuff on the road, I just couldn't stop, it became too addicting. But here we are, on the side of the road in some ghost town, pulled over by a cop.
After a second or two, he started talking again. "Ya know, we received a couple of complaints from drivers about a person in a Ferrai Testarossa. It seems he was doing all these crazy things on the road."
"Oh, really?" I calmly said, pretending to act dumb.
"Yeah." he continued. "Crazy stuff like speeding by cars, drifting through all the turns, and driving dangerously close to other vehicles. Now, you wouldn't by any chance be the lucky son of a gun everyone's been talking about, would ya?"
"Uh...."
I knew he was just messing around with me, but I at least had to try and talk myself out of this situation.
"Well, you see, th...." I was about to explain, but....
"Keep passing cars!!" Clarissa shouted, interrupting our little happy conversation.
I'm screwed.
The officer looked over at Clarissa, being somewhat annoyed. "Miss, I'm gonna have to ask you to keep it down over there."
Pointing straight ahead, she replied with "Hit the blue cones!"
Now looking confused, the officer said "Miss, have you been drinking?"
"Drive through red!!" she shouted, almost as if she wasn't listening to the guy.
"Okay, I need the both of you to step out of the car." in a loud voice.
I am so screwed.
So after a few minutes passed by and a bit of searching, the officer found something...
"Ah, ha. A bag of weed."
"WHAT!" I said in shock. "You were high this whole time?!"
"WOO-HOO!" she replied, while looking dazed and confused.
"Ugh." I said in disgust.
The cop interrupted by saying "All right, you two are coming down to the precinct with me."
Why? Why did I feel the need to be nice and pick up Clarissa? I could've been cock-battling with Jennifer by now!!
"COCKFIGHTING!!!" I screwed at the top of my lungs.
I got so caught up in my own rage, that I took off my pants and started to attack the cop with my wang. The officer then proceeded to beat the living crap out of me with his stick.
"Dammit! Use your other stick!!" I yelled. "Your monster cock won't stand a chance against the ANNIHILATOR!!"
"You're so cool!!" Clarissa shouted as she wondered off into the nearby woods.
Worst. Day. Ever.
The Passenger Seat: Story Three
Cockfighting. I've become obsessed with this extreme sport. Everytime I see a man's crotch, I automatically want to take off my pants and beat the guy with my ANNIHILATOR. It has become so bad, it's affected my racing abilities. Damn you, cockfighting!!
"Cockfighting!!!"
"Would you shut the fuck up with this cockfighting crap! You're starting to scare the shit outta me!!" proclaimed Holly, who was sitting in the passenger's seat in her Ferrai F355 Spider.
Oh, yeah, Holly. She volunteered to help me with fine-tunning my driving skills. Though, the type of tests she puts me through are pretty odd. Memorizing fruit? Doing math? And then there's the thing she's got me doing at the moment...
"Okay, just like I explained before, pick up these hearts and drop them off at their correct destinations. You can't stop, either. You gotta throw them out as you pass by." she said.
What the hell is up with that? I gotta admit, though, they do help improve my skills. But still, these tasks are ridiculous. That's not even the end of it either. Holly would scream out letters when I finish a test.
"A!!!" she shouted as I just finished the current task.
Whew, I was afraid I would get anything lower than an A, which is an absolute nightmare. One time, I manage to get a B, which I thought was fine, but Holly didn't think so. As I crossed the finish line, I started to do a power slide, then Holly leaped at me, grabbed my neck, and started shaking it violently. Since I couldn't tell where the hell I was turning due to all the shaking, I ended up running over the fat checkered flag dude that looked like Johnny Turbo. Heh, he always brightend my day, him and his fat cock. May he rest in peace.
"Let's try this one more time" said Holly, interrupting my thinking. "I'm sure you can manage a triple AAA on your next time!!"
Seriously, they're just friggin letters!! She got fired from Seasame Street because of this! Got into a fight with a little kid because they made him hold the letter and she ended up slicing off a muppets head in the process!
"Fine." I mumbled "One more try, then we're done for the day."
So I did the stupid task again, and I was actually doing really well, I could get a triple AAA and avoid the wrath of Holly. But as I reached the final stretch of this task, in Metropolis, I spotted something horrible. Jennifer and Wolf was having lunch in an outdoor cafe!! Could it be? Jennifer was leaving me to cockfight with Wolf?!
"That bitch!!" I screamed while crashing into the cafe, running over at least two or three people.
"You crazy cracker!!' Holly shouted.
By the time I came to a complete stop, Wolf and Jennifer were already running and both hopped into his Enzo Ferrai. After backing out of the cafe, they pretty much exited the city.
"You can't get away from me!!" I exclaimed.
Holly tried to get out of the car, but I slammed the accelerator before she could. She then started to shake my head violently, again, but it didn't work. Even with all that shaking, I was able to drive perfectly well. I was too focused on catching up with that car.
"Wow, your tests really do help! I can still race pretty damn good with all these distractions!" I shouted.
"Kiss my ass, you crazy son of a bitch!!" she replied while still shaking my head.
After tearing through three routes, I finall caught up with them in the Alphine region. The two of them seriously thought they lost me. So, of course, they were really surprised to see me when I slammed into their car and drove them off the road. When our cars came to a stop, I hopped out, took off my pants, and stabbed holes into their tires with my ANNIHILATOR. I didn't want them to drive off again like at the cafe. When I finished, Jennifer and Wolf were out and running. Holly was passed out in her car at this point. I managed to catch up to Jennifer and deliver an uppercut with my wang that knocked her unconscious.
"You're next, Wolf!!" I scream with a mighty roar.
My cock was feeling the rage, too. There were veins popping up all over it and my pubic hair became as sharp as a porcupine. Oh, yeah, it was definitely feeling the rage.
Wolf was a fast runner, but I was able to slowly close in on him every yard. He ran towards some hot-aired balloon event, hopped into one of the balloons, and flew off. He got away from me..... I became so angry that I wasn't able to exact revenge, that this incredible energy filled up in my body. Suddenly, my penis started growing in length. And in over the course of two or three seconds, it grew as much as 30 or 40 feet!! Long enough to smack Wolf's balloon with!!
"You have met your match, Wolf!!" I screamed with such intensity. "Eat my cock and die!!"
I swung the giant cock at the balloon, cutting it in half. Wolf spilled right out of it and fell to his death.
"You have got to be the craziest,funkiest bastard I've ever met." said Holly, who just regained consciousness.
At that point, I clinched my wang and shouted "I AM THE ULTIMATE COCKFIGHTER!!"
The End.